It's interesting reading this whole thread again. When I first read this and joined in at new year, I was in the same place as you. Now a couple of months later, I've gotten to know some of the people who have been trying to help you (and whose help you've spurned) a little better. More importantly, despite having a PE problem as bad as yours for the last 6 years, last week thanks to the help and advice of the people on this forum whose advice you've been so quick to throw back at them, and thanks to something you don't have, which is a good attitude and patience, I was in bed with a girl all weekend and fucked her 6 times, half an hour plus each time. Properly fucking now as well.
It angers me to read this thread now, and your attitude to some excellent advice you've been receiving. I know you're frustrated. I get that, but your impatience is such a force against you. I'm sorry if that sounds like new age crap, but I assure you I am as atheist as the day is long and no hippie. You must relax within yourself. Pack in the porn NOW. Stop trying to live up to porn, and start trying to live up to yourself. And get these fucking crazy ideas out of your head that pills and surgery are the only option or some miracle cure. You've failed with other techniques you say "don't work" and dismiss so readily because you're approaching it all wrong, and from a couple of choice comments below it's clear how. You've already made your mind up.
Seriously, you're wrong.
Here's what's wrong with this statement. Stopping for a couple of seconds to get yourself out of trouble is so fucking fine it's not funny. Tickle her clit while you do it if it bothers you so much. If you're with a girl who holds that against you, she's a moron, you're doing it so you can keep on fucking her. Look, this girl I was with this weekend, I had to stop her moving periodically - at least I had to stop her going up and down for a moment while I held my sh*t together. And then I carried on fucking her hard, and she fucking loved it, so get this stupid idea out of your head that sex *must* be bang bang bang with *no* breaks, because that's just not true, and porn has given you some crazy ass interpretation of what you think sex should be.
I had sex just before christmas and I lasted 20 seconds. Last weekend, I lasted 30-40 minutes over and over again. How? because I'm patient mate, not hyperactive, or ignorant of some really fucking sound advice when it comes in. And because I refuse to take drastic measures like surgery or pills so I'm fucking dedicated to fixing it with the advice of members on here who actually know a thing or two, and giving those ideas the time, patience and dedication they deserve.
I know you've had a bunch of sex. I get that. So have I. Some bad, Some good. Some freaking awesome. That's how it goes. That doesn't mean that I know everything about sex. I learn something new each time. Wanna know why? because sex is more complicated than porn. Just go ahead and fucking delete ALL your porn NOW.
Do you recognise all the levels of your arousal? Can you describe 1/10, 3/10, 6/10 aroused? This sh*t is important. you don't have to be all mystic and new agey about it, you can keep the whole thing to yourself if you want, but you need to be acutely aware of your own arousal. I apologise if you already are - and I don't mean facetiously, like "yeah.. all too fuckin aware," I mean like all the different sensations you feel at different levels.
If you don't, Get yourself a copy of some MMO book like Barbara Keesling's "How To Make Love All Night" which WILL have exercises designed to teach you this stuff, and so-called Peaking exercises where you go up to a 4, then relax down to a 2, then up to a 6, and back down to a 4 and so on and so on. Again, apologies if you know and can do all this already, but in case not, this is basically creative edging with a session plan. If you don't have this acute level of arousal awareness yet, go and take a couple of weeks to learn it. And start NOW. You DON'T need to go all the way through for MMO unless you want to, but you DO need to be extremely familiar with your arousal. You only have to learn this stuff once you know.
I'm in my 30's and I just learnt the other day what PONR actually feels like. Can you imagine that! I thought for all these years it was the intense feeling on my bell end, but no, it's the tension and inflation around your balls, and in fact it turns out I can sustain the intense bellend feeling for ages on its own with practice. Well how the fuck about that.
You need to be more open minded, despite your frustration and the fact that things haven't worked for you yet. You obviously don't know it all otherwise you wouldn't have this problem. You should let yourself be surprised. You really do need to trust and believe what people are telling you instead of looking for reasons to discredit them (people incidentally who've beaten PE) and you need to chill the fuck out.
See you told me a LOT here. You threw my suggestion about relaxing the pelvic floor out of court saying "yah, that doesn't work for me" and then you said that actually you can't fucking do it anyway.
Listen up. You need to spend weeks, months if you have to, learning to GET RID of those reflexes and learning how to relax your kegels UNDER STIMULATION. You see, this is what pisses me off about your attitude. You think you know better, yet you haven't fixed it yet have you, so clearly you don't fucking know better. You say that you've tried everything, but it turns out you actually haven't, and you're too busy looking for excuses why proven effective techniques to help you are somehow not for you (like that "new-age tantric tard" comment up there). Mate, stopping for a moment to hold yourself back (I used kegel holds and/or reverse kegels to drop my arousal down from 70/80% to 50/60% this way a number of times - sometimes I didn't even have to stop fucking) does not equate to singing "OMMMMM" and sitting in the lotus position. It does NOT make you unsexy. You have got to let these prejudices go, and to be honest, considering the severity of your problem and the anger you obviously (and understandably) feel about it, I'm amazed you're still so stuck up in your ideas of what's cool and what isn't. sh*t, you should be trying ANYTHING with ALL YOUR HEART to beat this thing shouldn't you?
At the end of the day mate, you have received some incredible advice on this thread. If you want to go stick a knife in your cock that's your business, but seriously, have a joint. Read back the advice you've received here - especially from Minuteman - and take it seriously. It doesn't matter if MM is a virgin or not. I'm fucking not, and I'm telling you his advice is golden.
And that's really all I have to say on the matter.
Sorry for my language, angry creates angry. What can I say.
It angers me to read this thread now, and your attitude to some excellent advice you've been receiving. I know you're frustrated. I get that, but your impatience is such a force against you. I'm sorry if that sounds like new age crap, but I assure you I am as atheist as the day is long and no hippie. You must relax within yourself. Pack in the porn NOW. Stop trying to live up to porn, and start trying to live up to yourself. And get these fucking crazy ideas out of your head that pills and surgery are the only option or some miracle cure. You've failed with other techniques you say "don't work" and dismiss so readily because you're approaching it all wrong, and from a couple of choice comments below it's clear how. You've already made your mind up.
Seriously, you're wrong.
That's what girls love, not some new-age tantric tard who has to stop every minute to relax and breathe.
Here's what's wrong with this statement. Stopping for a couple of seconds to get yourself out of trouble is so fucking fine it's not funny. Tickle her clit while you do it if it bothers you so much. If you're with a girl who holds that against you, she's a moron, you're doing it so you can keep on fucking her. Look, this girl I was with this weekend, I had to stop her moving periodically - at least I had to stop her going up and down for a moment while I held my sh*t together. And then I carried on fucking her hard, and she fucking loved it, so get this stupid idea out of your head that sex *must* be bang bang bang with *no* breaks, because that's just not true, and porn has given you some crazy ass interpretation of what you think sex should be.
I had sex just before christmas and I lasted 20 seconds. Last weekend, I lasted 30-40 minutes over and over again. How? because I'm patient mate, not hyperactive, or ignorant of some really fucking sound advice when it comes in. And because I refuse to take drastic measures like surgery or pills so I'm fucking dedicated to fixing it with the advice of members on here who actually know a thing or two, and giving those ideas the time, patience and dedication they deserve.
I know you've had a bunch of sex. I get that. So have I. Some bad, Some good. Some freaking awesome. That's how it goes. That doesn't mean that I know everything about sex. I learn something new each time. Wanna know why? because sex is more complicated than porn. Just go ahead and fucking delete ALL your porn NOW.
Do you recognise all the levels of your arousal? Can you describe 1/10, 3/10, 6/10 aroused? This sh*t is important. you don't have to be all mystic and new agey about it, you can keep the whole thing to yourself if you want, but you need to be acutely aware of your own arousal. I apologise if you already are - and I don't mean facetiously, like "yeah.. all too fuckin aware," I mean like all the different sensations you feel at different levels.
If you don't, Get yourself a copy of some MMO book like Barbara Keesling's "How To Make Love All Night" which WILL have exercises designed to teach you this stuff, and so-called Peaking exercises where you go up to a 4, then relax down to a 2, then up to a 6, and back down to a 4 and so on and so on. Again, apologies if you know and can do all this already, but in case not, this is basically creative edging with a session plan. If you don't have this acute level of arousal awareness yet, go and take a couple of weeks to learn it. And start NOW. You DON'T need to go all the way through for MMO unless you want to, but you DO need to be extremely familiar with your arousal. You only have to learn this stuff once you know.
I'm in my 30's and I just learnt the other day what PONR actually feels like. Can you imagine that! I thought for all these years it was the intense feeling on my bell end, but no, it's the tension and inflation around your balls, and in fact it turns out I can sustain the intense bellend feeling for ages on its own with practice. Well how the fuck about that.
You need to be more open minded, despite your frustration and the fact that things haven't worked for you yet. You obviously don't know it all otherwise you wouldn't have this problem. You should let yourself be surprised. You really do need to trust and believe what people are telling you instead of looking for reasons to discredit them (people incidentally who've beaten PE) and you need to chill the fuck out.
I can relax my PC muscle all day unless my cock is being stimulated, which makes me want to feel like im about to cum real fast, so the muscle clenches by reflex unless I stop all stimulation because the pleasure is not bearable
See you told me a LOT here. You threw my suggestion about relaxing the pelvic floor out of court saying "yah, that doesn't work for me" and then you said that actually you can't fucking do it anyway.
Listen up. You need to spend weeks, months if you have to, learning to GET RID of those reflexes and learning how to relax your kegels UNDER STIMULATION. You see, this is what pisses me off about your attitude. You think you know better, yet you haven't fixed it yet have you, so clearly you don't fucking know better. You say that you've tried everything, but it turns out you actually haven't, and you're too busy looking for excuses why proven effective techniques to help you are somehow not for you (like that "new-age tantric tard" comment up there). Mate, stopping for a moment to hold yourself back (I used kegel holds and/or reverse kegels to drop my arousal down from 70/80% to 50/60% this way a number of times - sometimes I didn't even have to stop fucking) does not equate to singing "OMMMMM" and sitting in the lotus position. It does NOT make you unsexy. You have got to let these prejudices go, and to be honest, considering the severity of your problem and the anger you obviously (and understandably) feel about it, I'm amazed you're still so stuck up in your ideas of what's cool and what isn't. sh*t, you should be trying ANYTHING with ALL YOUR HEART to beat this thing shouldn't you?
At the end of the day mate, you have received some incredible advice on this thread. If you want to go stick a knife in your cock that's your business, but seriously, have a joint. Read back the advice you've received here - especially from Minuteman - and take it seriously. It doesn't matter if MM is a virgin or not. I'm fucking not, and I'm telling you his advice is golden.
And that's really all I have to say on the matter.
Sorry for my language, angry creates angry. What can I say.
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