your attitude is a real charmer..really no need to be rude.
He's just frustrated. He hasn't been that offensive and everyone on these forums appreciates others' advice - that's why we're here! But a lot of people are adopting a frankly patronising attitude to experience levels etc.. I've read the entire thread and have to say that most of the time I've been agreeing with Nature.
Mistydawn and any other girls reading this, imagine how it would feel to be with a normal guy but only being able to give him head, even if you were really good at it. My last girlfriend (a long term relationship over a couple of years long) developed an anxiety thing that completely stripped her of her sex drive - she gave amazing blowjobs (better than in porn films, no joke) but even when I told her that with my own PE issue the lack of actual sex didn't bother me at all, she was clearly upset about it because she felt incomplete and our sex life was essentially limited. (I also have PE, so the relationship was pretty doomed when distance entered into it as well.) What I'm trying to say is put yourself in her position first, then ours. If anything it's just about having the option to fuck for 10 minutes that's most important to me (and others here, I'm sure). I know I can get away with the foreplay/quickie combo because I've had to many times. In fact, I'd say it was easier to get away with that in a one-night stand than in a proper relationship - despite (supposedly) the increased understanding and cooperation and the time to achieve improvement - because variation in sex is important and no one wants routine. As someone on this thread has already said (and yes I've read the whole thing), sometimes you do just want to fuck like monkeys. Anyway, guys with PE more often than not are totally driven by wanting to please their girls. For me at least it's not about getting off - I can do that in literally seconds. So enough of this, please:
I thought you wanted to please the lady. My mistake.
It just reveals a complete lack of understanding as far as I'm concerned.
That people expect guys to last longer than a minute is just a fact. Nothing gets around the statistical reality of our condition - most guys are able to hold it in for longer than that! Satisfaction is obviously linked to expectations and it is the simple, statistically supported truth that people expect more than guys like us can give and they will be dissatisfied. Add to that the girl's disappointment when she realises that the hot/witty/clever guy she's got into bed with is one of the 5% or 10% or 30% or whatever the minority is. The instant it occurs to someone that there are plenty more fish in the sea, guys like me and others here are fucked - or not, as the case may be. Aha. To that extent I'm afraid that I have to agree with Nature here:
Sorry, is just the the "lick her pussy like jesus and you wont need a cock" posts makes me cringe. Nothing but wishful thinking.
Yes I'm pretty young and compared to some people here I suppose I haven't had that much experience. And in fact for a while in the relationship I was talking about, when we were both new to it all, I know it didn't bother her at all that I came relatively quickly - we still had sex three times a day and I'd come multiple times in each of those sessions. But it's not varied and it isn't sustainable and the strong impression I get from my friends and from my own experience is that that's a pretty universal statement. I reckon I'm pretty good with my fingers and my tongue but everyone here has to admit that sometimes girls just want a good, hard fuck.
I think I was always highly strung but my PE has got worse and worse. Reverse kegels help a little but sometimes they're actually make things move faster. I don't want to teach my body to ejaculate when I RK (I think I might have already started doing this), so I'm going to try and be really cautious with the edging. I'm cut and I can't really tell if my frenulum (if you can even have a proper one when circumcised) is short or not. But essentially, Nature, I'm in your situation too, I know how you feel and it is complete sh*t. Guys with PE like ours really are living a limited existence and living in fear. Time for a bit of forced positivism: there must be a way around it all and that is why I'm here...
About sprays and pills: I reckon you could apply a spray, wait for the effect to sink in, wash off the surface trace (to get rid of as much of the taste as possible) and then go out. The problem is explaining any trace tastes, or getting hard at all. I think I might give it a go once just to get the confidence boost and to feel what it's like to last a long time. But I can't see myself thinking positively when I'm doing exercises without it... and I won't be prepared for every quicky I ever have. As for pills, I might give magnesium a go and see what happens.
Good luck with the urologist and the operation if you go ahead with it - keep us posted!
E
P.S. My theory about girl's expectations is basically the same as yours. Bottom line: porn and increasingly sexualised culture does not help guys like us. Even someone with the most open attitude and sexual awareness has expectations based on the statistical average we fall short of.
You lucky b*****d!!
