Get A Hooker? Need Advice.

[TehDBare]

I think this is very inaccurate.

And - as explained in the post - its like a 'kissing your sister' feeling. You would never do that.... so thats the mode my brain goes into. Idk why.

Also your advice doesn't really make sense. Have sex with a random stranger who you are not even remotely attracted to just to see how it feels? And then go actually nah I'm not attracted to you. Surely the attracted/not attracted thought should come before the sex?

What I'm saying is you may never have the attracted thought if your body doesn't even know what to be attracted to. How do you have a want for something you've never experienced. You say it's like kissing your sister, you can't even make that comparison because you have no frame of reference. If you went out and kissed a girl, knew what the physical sensation is then maybe your mind will follow and you'll start having an attraction to other girls.

I sound like I'm talking to my kid trying to get them to try the food on their plate they are convinced they won't like the taste of. Break out of your mental stalemate and just kiss someone, attracted or not, then make a decision about it. And yes, go have sex with a woman you don't feel an attraction to and see how you feel afterwards, you've already convinced yourself that after you'll say "nah, I'm not attracted to you", how can you possibly know that's how you will feel if you haven't tried it? Have you ever in your life done something you thought you wouldn't like and then found after doing it that you did actually enjoy it?

Now go eat your broccoli, it'll make you grow up big and strong.

 

[Longisland]

You should talk to the guys at the goodlookingloser dot com forum they may have some good input.
btw, when I was a virgin in my teens I thought I had high standards, the I had sex, and after that it made me think of every average looking girl sexually. You just need some experience.
your self evaluation does seem pretty high,8 being maybe 2 points above average, I don't know if your high self image or cockiness is holding you back or what. For your first girl you're probably going to have to settle on an average looking one, play with her for a while until you know what you're doing.

 

[BigO]

You should talk to the guys at the goodlookingloser dot com forum they may have some good input

Because we dont know sh*t!

 

[charles-perry]

You should talk to the guys at the goodlookingloser dot com forum they may have some good input.
btw, when I was a virgin in my teens I thought I had high standards, the I had sex, and after that it made me think of every average looking girl sexually. You just need some experience.
your self evaluation does seem pretty high,8 being maybe 2 points above average, I don't know if your high self image or cockiness is holding you back or what. For your first girl you're probably going to have to settle on an average looking one, play with her for a while until you know what you're doing.

I don't think I'm an 8. I think I'm average.
I don't expect to sleep with a supermodel for my first time. But I need to be even a tiny bit sexually attracted to her to sleep with her. All sexual attraction dies once I get to know her. Thats my problem.

 

[charles-perry]

go have sex with a woman you don't feel an attraction to and see how you feel afterwards

I don't think this is good advice. Sorry.

 

[TehDBare]

I don't think this is good advice. Sorry.

Well you seem to have all the answers and aren't willing to make any changes. Do what you've always done and get what you've always got. If you won't even take the step to simply kiss a girl then there is no hope for you. You're too afraid to make any movement and want to fix your issue by thinking it over, yet you have by your thought processes eliminated all possibilities. The trick of life though is that actual experiences don't always have the expected outcomes, you have to do and not simply think sometimes. But what do I know? I've lived life for 43 years instead of thinking about it from behind my mental convictions. Kind of like "you can't make your penis bigger", hmm, seems like trying it despite what the general public and the entire medical community says has worked out well.

 

[TehDBare]

Alright, if you aren't going to learn by doing and want a cerebral answer to your question to think about than consider this. Part of attraction stems for your brain's drug addiction. During sex your brain gets the effect of all the chemicals produced. Dopamine, seratonin and adrenaline are addictive chemicals and your brain will crave these once exposed to them. Seeing a girl and being attracted is partially your brain knowing if it acts it's going to get a hit. You don't know that yet because you've never experienced it through sexual contact. You may start off not feeling attraction but may feel different after exposure to these chemicals.

 

[Toadstool]

So your problem is that when you start getting to know girls, you stop seeing them as sexual beings. So you've tried to go out and pick up a girl without getting to know her ... but you get a craving, an itching, to get to know her, you cave, you two talk, and then you stop seeing her as a sexual being.
So ... you know what the problem is and you can't control yourself?

What's going to stop this same process from happening with a prostitute?

This whole seeing a girl as your sister problem is probably some sort of fear-based deeply rooted problem.


Hey here's an option, learn how to develop attraction for your sisters.

 

[charles-perry]

So ... you know what the problem is and you can't control yourself?

What's going to stop this same process from happening with a prostitute?

This whole seeing a girl as your sister problem is probably some sort of fear-based deeply rooted problem.

Hey here's an option, learn how to develop attraction for your sisters.

Nope I don't know what the problem is other then something in my brain screws up.

I know the hooker must have sex with me because I've paid her for it. Perhaps I will be less concerned about performance and therefore go for it. However, point taken that I'll probably start asking questions and then not go for it.

Probably - don't know how to fix it.

No way- thats twisted.

 

[MrBigDick]

Sorry for the long post but thought I would include as many details as possible.

One thing I forgot to mention. I really know sh*t all about sex. Never even kissed anyone on the lips. So perhaps a hooker will teach me? Idk. Seems wrong though...

Getting a hooker isn't your answer my friend. You've got this mental hangup and until you get over that, you're going to keep running into this issue. That's how things start off with girls is getting to know them and with conversation. If you're looking for a relationship, getting to know her and what makes her tick and being friends first is really the only way to go. However, if you're simply looking to lose your virginity, go to a bar and hopefully run into a chick at a bar who's only looking to get laid (yes, women go there for that too).

 

[charles-perry]

The problem isn't getting a relationship - it's pushing that metal block away and moving forwards. I did actually try a few times to get intimate (at least on a kissing level) with a few girls I met but honestly the switch pulls over to 'she's like your sister' so strongly it's depressing. Basically once we are friends - or even know anything about eachother - I get the mental block and cannot sleep with her anymore. I can't crack why and therefore am clueless how to fix it. It's easy to say just go for it but I really really try but it's just not happening and its just making me sadder everyday. I just want to be like a normal guy idk why it's so hard

I think the bad thing was answered before? Can't rmb. Either way - same problem. I won't sleep with her until I at least know her name. Then ill ask for more and more. And that's it. She's my sister....

 

[charles-perry]

I'm basically stuck in a vicious cycle and have no idea how to get out of it. I've true every 'typical' method possible that I could find including changing my body from skinny to athletic and not even that worked. idk what to even try anymore - it's like there is no hope

 

[BigO]

You've got all the advice in different perspectives one could ask for, now are you going to use any of it or stay here and make excuses for your excuses. I dont mean to come off as an ass bag but why arent you sitting with a hooker or hanging out in a bar somewhere.

In case your not aware the girls in the bar on a Sunday afternoon make for better odds.

 

[JonPop]

How was/is the relationship with your Mother?

 

[eow.]

If you guys recall, charles-perry has a history of trollish posts, including going onto the Bib forums and calling Bib a scammer.

 

[MrBigDick]

The problem isn't getting a relationship - it's pushing that metal block away and moving forwards. I did actually try a few times to get intimate (at least on a kissing level) with a few girls I met but honestly the switch pulls over to 'she's like your sister' so strongly it's depressing. Basically once we are friends - or even know anything about eachother - I get the mental block and cannot sleep with her anymore. I can't crack why and therefore am clueless how to fix it. It's easy to say just go for it but I really really try but it's just not happening and its just making me sadder everyday. I just want to be like a normal guy idk why it's so hard

I think the bad thing was answered before? Can't rmb. Either way - same problem. I won't sleep with her until I at least know her name. Then ill ask for more and more. And that's it. She's my sister....

Hmmm, see, when I meet a woman, I get to know her so I KNOW who the hell I'm eventually going to be letting suck my dick and bangin' the sh*t out of...........these women aren't related to you so where this mental block is coming from..............well, as I see it, it's all you boss. You control your thoughts in this area. It's something psychological and my bet is you've programmed your own mind to think in this manner and it's you who can change it.

Let me ask you this, does intimacy with a girl intimidate you? That might be why this mental block keeps popping up.

 

[Jm123]

It sounds like you may be bi-sexual with a heavy leaning towards men. Sorry if that offends you, however, talking about friend-zoning every girl and feeling like it is kissing your sister sounds symptomatic of something larger e.g. sexual preference. I quite possibly am wrong, but I would it least suggest thinking about it.

 

[charles-perry]

You've got all the advice in different perspectives one could ask for, now are you going to use any of it or stay here and make excuses for your excuses. I dont mean to come off as an ass bag but why arent you sitting with a hooker or hanging out in a bar somewhere.

In case your not aware the girls in the bar on a Sunday afternoon make for better odds.

Again I'm happy to go to a bar and pick someone up but the same problem occurs - the mental block.

 

[charles-perry]

How was/is the relationship with your Mother?

Good/normal. Not massively attached to her but I do get on with her.

 

[charles-perry]

If you guys recall, charles-perry has a history of trollish posts, including going onto the Bib forums and calling Bib a scammer.

He is a scammer. And a dick too. Asked simple questions and got rude replies. Doesn't make me a troll.