Speaking up about orgasms

Speaking up about orgasms

Men often don’t talk about delayed or absent orgasm. Still, these issues can have a profound impact on their sex life.

This article is a repost which originally appeared on Harvard Men’s Health Watch

Edited for content

Published: October, 2020

Erectile dysfunction continues to be the main sex-related issue among older men. Yet, two other problems also can arise with age: anorgasmia, the inability to achieve an orgasm during sex, and delayed orgasm, in which it takes longer than usual to reach orgasm and ejaculate despite proper stimulation. Men can experience either one or both.

While these conditions can cause stress for both men and their sexual partners, they don’t have to hinder a healthy, active sex life.

“Orgasms are pleasing and satisfying, but you often can achieve sexual satisfaction without one,” says urologist Dr. Michael O’Leary, director of Men’s Health at Harvard-affiliated Brigham and Women’s Hospital. “With the right approach, these conditions can have little, if any, impact on whether you can enjoy intimacy.”

Two similar conditions

With anorgasmia, you can get an erection and enjoy stimulation from intercourse even though you can’t reach orgasm. Research has defined delayed orgasm as taking longer than 30 minutes to achieve orgasm and ejaculate, although the time can vary per person. Some men with delayed orgasm can experience the sensation of orgasm but don’t ejaculate.

It’s not known how common these conditions are, as men are often reluctant to discuss them with their doctor or partner. Nor is it clear why they become more frequent with age.

However, a report in the November 2015 issue of Fertility and Sterility pointed to a combination of possible factors, like changes in penis sensitivity, lower testosterone levels, medication side effects, and lack of exercise.

The conditions also can occur when a man enters a new relationship. For instance, a man may feel under stress about pleasing his new partner. If he has not been sexually active for a while, he may struggle with performance anxiety. Men also may feel pressured to climax within a specific time frame, which can exacerbate the problem.

Treatment and options

Before rushing to your doctor for help with either of these conditions, Dr. O’Leary suggests that you first look at the larger picture of how it affects your overall sex life.

“It’s normal to want to maintain the sexual vigor of your youth, but men have to realize that their body changes with age. Sometimes, that means your sex life, too,” he says. “Even if you don’t always have an orgasm, you and your partner can still experience pleasure from the intimacy that accompanies any sexual encounter.”

Still, if an orgasm problem affects your sex life, certain strategies could help. The following are some options to discuss with your doctor.

Sexual therapy. Therapy with a sexual health expert can address the issues that may be causing orgasm trouble, especially if it’s related to a new relationship or some other psychological issue. “Many times, it’s not a physical problem, but the connection between the brain and body,” says Dr. O’Leary.

Testosterone. Since both anorgasmia and delayed orgasm can be related to low testosterone levels, a simple blood test can determine if you might benefit from supplementation.

Medication. There are no FDA-approved drugs to treat anorgasmia or delayed orgasm. Even so, one drug, called cabergoline (Dostinex), has received attention. Orgasm is associated with a surge in prolactin, a hormone made in the brain’s pituitary gland. If blood prolactin levels are always high, there is no surge. Cabergoline lowers levels to allow the surge normally experienced with orgasm.

A study in the March 2016 issue of Sexual Medicine found that men’s orgasm problems improved after they took 0.5 milligrams of cabergoline twice a week for about 10 months. About half of the group said their orgasms returned to normal. The drug tends to be well tolerated and it’s presumed safe, although its long-term effects are unknown. Consult with your doctor about whether this could be an option.

Some antidepressants, especially selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors like fluoxetine (Prozac) and sertraline (Zoloft), may cause anorgasmia or delayed orgasm. In fact, doctors will sometimes prescribe these drugs for men with the opposite problem, premature ejaculation. If you take an antidepressant, talk with your doctor about lowering your dosage or switching to a different one.

Change sexual positions. Modifying sexual positions or foreplay practices with your partner may increase arousal and help achieve orgasms, according to guidelines from the American Urological Association.

Penile vibratory stimulation. This clamplike device is placed around the penis and vibrates to stimulate the nerves in the base of the penis. It’s used before sex and can be incorporated into foreplay.

5 major health benefits of sex — and how much sex is healthy

5 major health benefits of sex — and how much sex is healthy

Mary Sauer

This article is a repost which originally appeared on Insider

Edited for content

Sex has many benefits for mental and physical health.

  • The benefits of sex include reduced stress and anxiety, increased libido, better quality sleep, improved immune system, and a lower risk of heart disease.
  • A healthy sex life can have many short-term and long-term benefits, whether you have sex with a partner or masturbate.
  • This article was medically reviewed by Jason R. McKnight, MD, MS, a family medicine physician and clinical assistant professor at Texas A&M College of Medicine.

A positive sex life can do wonders for your health. And finding what a healthy sex life looks like for you is about understanding what brings you satisfaction.

“Most of what we focus on is that sexual health and intimacy is based on consent, honesty, and mutual pleasure,” says Barb Depree, MD and founder of MiddlesexMD. “If they’re feeling respected and fulfilled it’s going to be healthy for them.”

Moreover, you don’t need to have sex with a partner to find these benefits — solo sex, or masturbation, can also reduce stress and improve overall health.

So whether by yourself or with a partner, here are five of the main health benefits of sex:

Sex can reduce stress and anxiety

Cortisol levels decrease after sex, according to The Journal of Sexual Medicine. This is the hormone that is responsible for the body’s stress response, and with less of it present, you’ll feel more relaxed.

Endorphins are another hormone released during sex. These are associated with increased feelings of pleasure, motivation, and energy. This means sex, like exercise, may be able to boost your mood if you’re feeling down.

“We know that people who engage in sex generally have less anxiety and stress,” Depree says.

Sex increases intimacy and libido

Oxytocin, known as the love hormone, is released during sex. It’s associated with increased feelings of trust and empathy — which is a key part of maintaining intimate relationships.

If you feel more connected to your partner, your desire to have sex — known as libido — may increase.

Stronger libido and intimacy with another person can provide the necessary support to keep yourself mentally and physically well.

Sex can help you get better sleep

The release of oxytocin will also help you fall asleep more quickly after sex.

“More specifically with orgasm for women, sex, in general, helps release oxytocin, which directly impacts the brain to encourage relaxation — and it’s actually a little sedating,” says Depree.

In fact, both men and women self-report better sleep after an orgasm, whether they achieve that with a partner or through masturbation.

In addition to oxytocin, prolactin levels increase after intercourse and orgasm, according to the International Society for Sexual Medicine. This hormone increases your feelings of sleepiness and relaxation, which can also make it easier for you to settle in for the night. (Xanax)

Sex may boost your immune system

In 2018, the Journal of Sex Research found a connection between sex with a partner and improved immune function.

Researchers compared sexually abstinent women with those who engaged in sex at least once a week and found that sexually active women had increased levels of immunoglobin A in their saliva. This antibody plays an important role in fighting off common types of sickness such as respiratory and gastrointestinal illnesses.

Additionally, some research has found that masturbation can boost immunity and improve overall health.

Sex can improve heart health

The act of sex is exercise. In fact, research has found that people burn an average of 85 calories during sex lasting roughly 30 minutes.

Exercise is healthy for many reasons, but it’s also one of the best ways to lower blood pressure and prevent your risk of heart disease.

According to Depree, sex has a direct impact on lower blood pressure, both because of the physical and mental health benefits of sex. Lower levels of stress and anxiety are also associated with lower blood pressure, and thus, a reduced risk of heart disease.

The bottom line

Overall, sex can have a wide range of benefits for your mental and physical health.

Sex reduces stress and anxiety, and can boost intimacy and feelings of connection with your partner. It allows you to get better sleep, burns calories, and may also help you fight off infection more effectively.

Over time, a healthy sex life may even reduce your risk of long-term illnesses, such as heart disease.