Does Sex Hurt for Men? – 10+ Causes

Why Sex Could Hurt for Men

By Jerry Kennard
Updated on July 12, 2023
Medically reviewed by Jamin Brahmbhatt, MD

This article is a repost which originally appeared on verywell health

Edited for content. The opinions expressed in this article may not reflect the opinions of this site’s editors, staff or members.

Key Points

‧ There may be one or more causes to pain during sex for men.

‧ Refrain from sexual activity if you suspect you have an injury which needs attention.

‧ STIs can interfere with sexual performance and pleasure.

Pain during sex happens to both males and females, regardless of gender identity. When sex hurts, it can cause anxiety and affect sexual pleasure.

Sex can hurt for men for a variety of reasons, including sexually transmitted infections, foreskin problems, and being allergic to chemicals in birth control methods (such as latex condoms).

This article explores some common reasons sex can hurt for men. It also offers guidance for when to seek medical care.

For the purpose of this article, “male” refers to people born with penises, irrespective of whether they identify with one or more genders or no gender at all.

Why Does Sex Hurt for Males?

Some of the reasons sexual intercourse can hurt for men include:

Sexually Transmitted Infections

Some sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can cause pain during sex. Infections such as herpes and gonorrhea can cause burning and itching if left untreated. They can also cause sores, bumps, or blisters on the penis or anus.

If you think you may have been exposed to an STI, visit your healthcare provider or a clinic to get tested.

The sooner you know if you’re infected, the sooner you can get treatment. Early treatment can limit or prevent some effects of these infections.

Foreskin Problems

Uncircumcised men can develop tight foreskin, or phimosis. When you pull back the foreskin, or when your penis is erect, it can tear, bleed, get inflamed, or be painful.

This problem can usually be treated with an ointment. In some cases, adult circumcision can resolve the problem. Talk to your healthcare provider about your options.

Why Does Sex Hurt For Females?

In general, women are more prone to experience painful sex than men. Here are some of the reasons sex can hurt for females:

‧ Losing their virginity

‧ STIs

‧ Vaginismus

‧ Vulvodynia

‧ Endometriosis

‧ Uterine fibroids

‧ Ovarian cysts

‧ Cervical cancer

Curved Penis

Normal penises vary in length, girth, and shape from one person to the next. Sometimes, a curved penis can cause painful erections or make sex difficult.

Some penises curve because of conditions like hypospadias. That’s where the urethra opens away from the tip of the penis.

In some cases, a curve can develop over time. One cause of this is Peyronie’s disease, which causes scar tissue to form in the penis. Scars from previous traumas or infections can make sex painful, too.

Lesions and Growths

Sometimes a growth on the penis is what’s causing the pain. Some cancers cause growths. Cysts and lesions can also form on the penis or in the ducts and tubes that carry sperm.

If your prostate is enlarged, you may have pain when you ejaculate. It’s also possible that an infected pocket called an abscess can form on the penis.

Any of these growths can cause pain when you’re having sex or ejaculating.

Priapism

Most of the time, erections go away after sex. Sometimes a non-sexual erection lasts much longer than it normally would. This condition is called priapism, and it is often painful.

An Allergy

Some men have an allergic reaction to vaginal fluids or the chemicals in birth control methods. A medical professional can help you find out if you’re allergic to latex condoms or another substance.

Hypersensitivity

The penis can become very sensitive after orgasm and ejaculation. If you keep having sex after that point, it may be painful. This may mean you need to limit how many times you have sex with your partner on a given day or find other ways to experience pleasure together.

A rare condition called pudendal neuralgia affects a nerve in the pelvic region and may cause pain during sex as well.

Medications

Some antidepressants and muscle relaxers can cause pain when you ejaculate.4 It’s important to talk to your healthcare provider if you think a medication may be causing this kind of pain.

However, you should not stop taking your medication without discussing it with your healthcare provider first, because serious health problems can arise if you do.

Skin Disorders

Some skin conditions can lead to painful sex. These include:

‧ Zoon’s balanitis, an inflammation of the foreskin

‧ Erosive lichen planus, which causes an itchy rash or blisters

‧ Lichen sclerosus, which causes itchy white patches

‧ Genital psoriasis, an itchy inflammation of the skin

‧ Penile cancer

Other Causes of Painful Sex

Other possible reasons that a man or woman might find sex painful include:

‧ Sex positions: Some sexual positions are more uncomfortable than others. This can be due to a variety of reasons, including someone’s overall health, weight, flexibility. Some health conditions, such as back pain, can also make some positions painful. Work with your partner on finding the positions that are most comfortable for you. There are also other ways to enjoy sex that don’t involve intercourse.

‧ Lack of lubrication: Vaginal dryness can cause pain for a woman during sexual intercourse. This can also affect men and women during anal sex. Using a lubricant designed to be used during sex can help with this.

‧ Losing your virginity: Having sexual intercourse for the first time can be painful for women. Women are born with a hymen, thin, fleshy tissue that stretches across part of the opening of your vagina. When this tissue is penetrated, it may cause pain or bleeding. Men typically do not experience pain when they have sex for the first time.

‧ Postorgasmic illness syndrome: Postorgasmic illness syndrome (POIS) is a rare condition in which a person develops flu-like and allergy symptoms after orgasm. It is much more common in men than in women. Symptoms typically develop shortly after an orgasm, and can last for up to seven days before going away. It is not known what causes POIS.

When to See Your Healthcare Provider

It is important to see a healthcare provider if you are experiencing pain during sex so it can be treated as soon as possible.

If you don’t feel comfortable talking about it with your current provider, try to find a healthcare professional you can talk. The right diagnosis and treatment can improve your health and your sex life.

Summary

Pain during sex can be a sign that you have an STI, a skin disorder, an allergy, or another health condition. It could also be that the shape of your penis, a medication, a long-lasting erection, or post-orgasm sensitivity could be the reason.

Some conditions that cause this kind of pain can be serious. It’s vital that you seek medical care when sex hurts so that you can protect your own health and your partner’s.

Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

1. Urology Care Foundation. What are sexually transmitted infections (STIs) or diseases (STDs)?

2. National Health Service. Tight foreskin (phimosis and paraphimosis). Updated July 26, 2018.

3. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. When sex is painful.

4. Waqar M, Omar K, Moubasher A, Brunckhorst O, Ahmed K. Painful ejaculation: An ignored symptom. Cureus. 2020;12(10):e11253. Published 2020 Oct 30. doi:10.7759/cureus.11253

5. Muneer A, Alnajjar HM, Ralph D. Recent advances in the management of priapism. F1000Res. 2018;7:37. doi:10.12688/f1000research.12828.1

6. Marfatia YS, Patel D, Menon DS, Naswa S. Genital contact allergy: A diagnosis missed. Indian J Sex Transm Dis AIDS. 2016;37(1):1-6.

7. Turley KR, Rowland DL. Evolving ideas about the male refractory period. BJU Int. 2013;112(4):442-52. doi:10.1111/bju.12011

8. Genetic and Rare Diseases Information Center. Pudendal Neuralgia.

9. American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. Vulvovaginal health.

10. NIH. Genetic and Rare Diseases Information Center. Postorgasmic illness syndrome.

 

A Doctor with Hard Flaccid – Updates and Advice

A Doctor with Hard Flaccid – Updates and Advice

by Romero MD

Original post: A Doctor with Hard Flaccid – Updates and Advice

Hi everyone I am 26 years old and I recently developed this mythical problem called Hard Flaccid.
I am a medical doctor. I finished medical school a few months ago, and I am currently applying for Obstetrics-Gynecology.

First, my story. I have been practicing PE, intermittently, for the past 4-5 years. Basically, only manual stretches (I am satisfied with my girth), but, like many others, I think my injury was caused by Edging and excessive Kegeling, which I have been practicing for over 10 years, for stamina training and erection quality.

And without knowing the extreme importance of Reverse Kegeling. Every time I have sex, I also do intense kegels, in order to last 60-90 minutes of penetration. I know, I know… maybe it’s a little too much… But my girlfriend and I have always liked long love sessions Almost 2 months ago, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I started to lose my erection suddenly, after performing an intense Kegel, during a sex position that placed my penis at a downward angle (so, I did a “very weighted Kegel”).

I thought I might have torn a muscle or ligament, and we stopped at that moment. The next day, I woke up with a hyper contracted and cold penis. As it didn’t seem to be a penile fracture, nor did I have any skin lesions, hemorrhages or bruises, I decided to simply rest. Because I thought that any fellow urologist would tell me to simply do the same – to rest.

After two weeks of online research, I discovered my diagnosis – Hard Flaccid/CPPS. However, I only have/had symptoms related to the anterior/superficial pelvic floor (Ischiocavernosus and Bulbocavernosus Muscles). I don’t have pelvic pain, difficulty passing stools or other posterior/deep pelvic floor symptoms. But I have/had:

– Sudden erectile dysfunction (9-10/10 to 4/10)
– Sudden premature ejaculation (90min to 3-5min)
– Hyper contracted penis (Hard Flaccid). Which improves sitting, lying down, with Reverse Kegels and with heat; and worsens standing, with physical activity, with Kegels and with Involuntary Kegels
– Cold and soft glans (sometimes scrotum and penis too)
– Mild urinary retention
– Loss of morning and spontaneous erections
– Slight bend of the penis to the left, from the base of the shaft. (IC injury?)
– Slight downward curvature of the penis, from the middle of the penis (BC injury?)
– And a slight twist of the entire shaft, clockwise (IC injury?)

The next day, I visited the Urology Department at my hospital. I was observed by 4 urologists. As expected, none of them had ever heard of Hard Flaccid… After explaining the whole story, situation and symptoms, I was medicated with:

– Ibuprofen (anti-inflammatory), for 7 days
– Cyclobenzaprine (muscle relaxant), for 30 days
– Tamsulosin (alpha blocker, to decrease all sympathetic nervous activity, stressful or non-stressful, to the pelvic floor), for 30 days
– Total sexual abstinence (masturbation and sex), for 30 days, which I was already doing for 2 weeks.
After these 30 days, I will have an appointment with one of the best Andrologist in my country, which will be on August 27

So, after 3 weeks, I have been doing a lot of research (books, websites, forums) … And, according to my symptoms, I am almost sure that I had/have a strain of the Left IC Muscle (and maybe the Left and/or Right BC), which is, consequently, contracting the anterior/superficial pelvic floor and the penile smooth muscle (giving rise to the Hard Flaccid and the shortening of the penis, while it is erect) and, consequently, compressing the pudendal nerve, dorsal nerve and pudendal arteries, giving rise to all the other symptoms.

And that’s why REVERSE KEGELS are so important for the progressive relief of all the symptoms.

Treatments. What I have done to recover:
– Ibuprofen, Cyclobenzaprine, Tamsulosin
– Extraordinary healthy eating (Proteins, vegetables and fruits. Very important in the recovery of any injury) and supplementation (Ginkgo Biloba, Ginseng, L-Arginine, Fish Oils, Vitamins E, D, C, B complex and Zinc)
– No masturbation, no sex, NO PORN. And no pictures, no Instagram girls, nothing. Just hugs and kisses from the girlfriend. (Alright… We make love, but only with my hands and mouth. I don’t let her touch my penis… I was in this hardmode for 4 weeks. In the last week, I have been trying very light Edging (5 minutes of very light massage, very soft touches, always with REVERSE KEGEL), every other day, to give a little physiotherapeutic stimulation to the tissues. But without ejaculation (to avoid the Involuntary Kegels associated with orgasm, to keep my libido high and to increase the likelihood of spontaneous erections)

– Lots of REVERSE KEGELS/Front Reverse Kegels, throughout the day.
– Very light and Soft Squeezes (“massages”) of the flaccid penis, while Reverse Kegeling, to help relax tissues, throughout the day.
– Belly Breath Combos, Hindi Squats and Happy Baby, along with Reverse Kegeling.
– Light external massages, on the anterior/superficial pelvic floor
– 1 hour of STRETCHING (flexibility training) every other day – Pelvic Floor, Hamstrings, Psoas, Piriformis, Quadriceps, Adductors and Abs. (All along with Reverse Kegeling and Belly Breaths). Again, hardmode – Static, Dynamic and Weighted Stretches. I’m literally training to do the front and side splits.

– HEAT. Heat relaxes muscles and dilates arteries, increasing blood flow and, consequently, relieving symptoms. I wear shorts, under my pants, during the day. When I get home, I wrap my lower body in a blanket and I use a hot rice sock sometimes. And I place a big and soft pillow under my buttocks, when I am sitting in my chair.

– Sleep. A lot. (Very important in the recovery of any injury)
– I am a very active person (running and weighted calisthenics), but I stopped this type of physical activity since the day of the injury (to avoid Involuntary Kegels). However, I am doing some bodyweight Squats and Hip Thrusts (along with Reverse Kegels) before stretching. I read somewhere that gluteal and posterior chain strength is also important.

– ABSOLUTELY NO STRESS (!!!). I have always been a very calm and peaceful person, in all situations of my life. But, after reading that Hard Flaccid was highly influenced by stress and anxiety, I am now completely in a “ZEN state with the Universe” Buddhist monk style.

Not only to avoid any nerve discharge from the Sympathetic Nervous System to the pelvic floor (and, consequently, Involuntary Kegeling, which prolongs the contraction of the pelvic floor muscles, which worsens the compression of nerves and arteries), but also to prevent the rise of Cortisol and Adrenaline and, consequently, the drop in testosterone levels. And (as many of you claim) this is absolutely essential.

I was a little stressed during the first week (before I knew the real diagnosis) and my penis was terrible… Hard Flaccid like a rock, with a loss of 1.5inches in BPFL. After knowing that I really have to relax completely, I immediately felt the first improvements in 3-4 days.

However, on the other hand, I am very convinced that I did a muscle strain, at least, of the Left IC. Those left curvature and left twist… Hmmm… On August 27, I will ask for an MRI. If the radiologist tells me it is normal, I will try to take the images to more doctors.

So… after almost 2 months, I have improved a lot – Now, I only have hard flaccid if I’m standing. A few times, I don’t even have it standing. It happens when I get up after doing Reverse Kegels for a few minutes (or sitting for a while in a more comfortable position) and continue to do Reverse Kegeling while I’m standing. This was impossible 1 month ago.
– The morning erections are progressively coming back
– 3 days ago, I’ve managed to have a 8-9/10 erection during the mini Edging sessions.
– However, I still have a slight bend to the left and the clockwise twist, during erection (I no longer have the downward curve), and I lost about 0.5 inches in BPEL…

1- Now, I would like to ask Pegym’s brightest minds and everyone in this group who is still recovering from Hard Flaccid, what are the most recent updates on this disease/symptom? Regarding physical treatment, exercises, medications and supplements. What am I missing? Where can I improve to speed up recovery?

2- I have been thinking about starting to do a small daily session of Kegels/Front Kegels/IC kegels… In order to give a physiotherapeutic stimulus, just like any other muscle injury. But I’m afraid it could get worse… What’s your opinion? (See post 26)

3- What do you think about adding very light and soft manual penile stretches? (along with Reverse Kegeling) I feel a lot of relief with the soft squeezes. But, in these, the applied force is perpendicular to the penis. I’m not sure if extra parallel force will be beneficial for the tissues. (See post 26)

4- Okay, the last question might be a little funny, but I think it might be relevant. I think I have an injury mostly on the left side. So, is it more advisable to rest the penis in the left groin or in the right groin? It tends to get softer on the right, but naturally falls to the left. (See post 26)

Thanks a lot for reading my story Best regards to the entire PEGym community
And thank you so much, for saving me during the past 2 months UPDATES: post 21, post 23 (stress management), post 26, post 29, post 63, post 66 (HF & Stretching)