PE Due to Being Cheated On?

[LitterBan]

Hello everyone,

I just tumbled across this site a few days ago, and how I wished I saw or more like wished I had the courage to face my issue head on. I hope the experts or people who overcame the same situation can help me. If I posted this in the wrong section, I apologize.

I have premature ejaculation and at times ED. I hope someone or the experts can give me advice as I am so depressed and scared because this didn't happen to be before. From 16 until 27 years old, I used to be able to have sex for 1-3 hours without ejaculating. The problem started when I stayed 2 years in UK for work. I didn't have sex with another woman, and developed a bad masturbation habit which (I think) was the primary cause. Adding fuel to the fire, she admitted that she slept with someone before I came home. Since stayed in the relationship because I wanted the kids to have a whole family. It didn't occur to me that subconsciously I wasn't okay with the betrayal.

Sex got shorter and shorter as the years passed by, months ago it was drifting from 10-5 minutes. Now, another big blow psychologically and emotionally when I found out she was screwing a co-worker. Blaming my inability to perform like I used to. From time to time, we try to have sex but it is a mere 2 minutes, she still screws the guy.

I filed divorce for my sanity and self respect. I am just worried how can I fix this issue as fast as I can. I have been doing edging 2-3 times a week (using my hands and lube) for 2 weeks and it is 30-55 minutes without ejaculation. But when I tried to have sex yesterday it is still less than 5. I know it is also caused by psychological and emotional issues.

Should I stop having sex while I am practicing edging? Can I edge everyday, or do it more than once a day?

What other penile exercise should I incorporate with edging? And how should I schedule it? I already tried stretching yesterday.

I know this post is long and depressing, but I am very willing to learn and get over this issue. If fixed, I will also stay on this forum to help future members with the same issue.


All the best,

John

 

[LitterBan]

PE Due to Being Cheated On?

Hello everyone,

I think this is more appropriate to post here than the introduction sub-forum.

I have premature ejaculation and at times ED. From 16 until 27 years old, I used to be able to have sex for 1-3 hours without ejaculating. The problem started when I stayed 2 years in UK for work. I didn't have sex with another woman, and developed a bad masturbation habit which (I think) was the primary cause. Adding fuel to the fire, she admitted that she slept with someone before I came home. Since stayed in the relationship because I wanted the kids to have a whole family. It didn't occur to me that subconsciously I wasn't okay with the betrayal.

Sex got shorter and shorter as the years passed by, months ago it was drifting from 10-5 minutes. Now, another big blow psychologically and emotionally when I found out she was screwing a co-worker. Blaming my inability to perform like I used to. From time to time, we try to have sex but it is a mere 2 minutes.

I filed divorce for my sanity and self respect. I am just worried how can I fix this issue as fast as I can. I have been doing edging 2-3 times a week (using my hands and lube) for almost 2 weeks and it was 30-55 minutes without ejaculation. But when I tried to have sex yesterday it is still less than 5.

Should I stop having sex while I am practicing edging? Can I edge everyday, or do it more than once a day? Or stay safe with an every other day routine?

What other penile exercise should I incorporate with edging? And how should I schedule it? I already tried penile stretching yesterday and did it before sleeping.

Thank you and I'm praying that this won't happen to somebody else.

 

[Tamora]

Hey LB...sounds like you've had or are having a really shitty time of it! I sympathize with you totally because I went through a similar thing with my ex.

I know when I first started having sex with other women after the separation/divorce it wasn't that great at all. I had some deep seated psychological guilt still about being with another woman. Believe me...it will pass given time.

Start the JP90...top of page...START HERE! button. If you worry about fixing the problem it will hinder your progress...so relax and let time take it's course. Give up porn completely if you watch it and allow your brain to rewire. Some guys use a Fleshlight for edging and says it helps...never used one myself but seriously considering it.

Personally, I wouldn't give up the sex...life's too short.

Good luck mate and keep posting!

 

[mulkey]

Some friends of mine recently split up. She told us that he wouldn't have anything to do with her anymore sexually. She made it sound like it was all him until she was drunk and told us all about her infidelity's years ago beginning when the oldest of their 3 kids was just a baby. That was part of the rest of the story. He could never get past it and of course she was very deceitful. They stayed together for about 8 years after the first time she whored around on him. She continued to whore around till they split. She is now with a weird guy that is a known meth dealer/user and lost most of his teeth. Her husband is a clean cut good looking hard working family guy. He got a no contact order on the weird bf concerning the kids. Go figure. It is certainly understandable that you have a hard time getting past the betrayal.

 

[jockinthebox]

Welcome LB! Good advice, Tamora! Also, if you haven't already, take correct measurements following the directions in those START HERE THREADS. Take pics (or you'll be sorry later, select a routine JP90 or PESG, start a journal in the progress forum to stay motivated and get feedback from other members, and ABOVE ALL, PE SAFELY!

Oh, and give yourself BREAK mentally! You've been through a LOT emotionally, it's normal to need a re-set after a "strike"! STAY IN THE GAME! It ain't OVER YET!

 

[Tamora]

Think this thread is being doubled up?

 

[jockinthebox]

Think this thread is being doubled up?

They are duplicates.

@OP: PICK a thread and post, generally if it's in the wrong forum, a MOD WILL MOVE IT. IT'S UNFAIR TO OTHERS WANTING TO POST IN A PARTICULAR FORUM TO REPOST THE SAME IN MULTIPLE FORUMS. IT WILL EARN YOU NEGATIVE REPS, SO JUST A WARNING SINCE YOU'RE A NEWBIE.

CAN A MOD CLOSE/MERGE THESE 2 DUPLICATE THREADS, PLEASE? OTHER IS TITLED CONFUSED, SCARED & DEPRESSED, IN THE INTRODUCTIONS FORUM (I THINK).

 

[Cavalier]

Threads have been merged.

 

[longerlastingnoob]

Welcome John.

If you are edging for 30-50 mins easily then the next thing to do is increase the intensity, tighten your grip, speed up the pace a bit, you should practice thrusting in various positions ( can be the biggest problem for a lot of people ), and if you are seeing a new woman practice edging with her.

 

[LitterBan]

To mods cavalier and longerlastingnoob, thanks for merging the threads. I first posted on the Intro sub forum, and thought that this was a better sub forum for the issue.

To all who took time to respond, a big thanks. It really hurts when I didn't do anything and provided for them and this happened. Not that sex was bad from the start, as stated above, I lasted long and was a good lover. Things changed when cheating happened. I will follow JP90 and start taking measurements and pics tonight.

I just have some basic questions with edging... Is it a once a day and done every other day? Or can I do it on consecutive days? Do far no pain while edging. Btw, I will also buy fleshlight. Thank you for all the tips please keep them coming as this is very beneficial and will help me pick up my self respect.

 

[longerlastingnoob]

You can do it consecutively, maybe better until you've had more practice with it.
You used to have great stamina so you know what you're looking for in terms of progress.

 

[Tamora]

To mods cavalier and longerlastingnoob, thanks for merging the threads. I first posted on the Intro sub forum, and thought that this was a better sub forum for the issue.

To all who took time to respond, a big thanks. It really hurts when I didn't do anything and provided for them and this happened. Not that sex was bad from the start, as stated above, I lasted long and was a good lover. Things changed when cheating happened. I will follow JP90 and start taking measurements and pics tonight.

I just have some basic questions with edging... Is it a once a day and done every other day? Or can I do it on consecutive days? Do far no pain while edging. Btw, I will also buy fleshlight. Thank you for all the tips please keep them coming as this is very beneficial and will help me pick up my self respect.

Hey LB...there's lots of guys that have been/are in a similar situation to you here. I worked virtually 24 hours a day running a fairly successful electronics manufacturing company for 20 years. When the "sh*t hit the fan" I was left jobless, homeless and worthless. You can turn it around but it takes time...sounds very cliche but it's true. Deal with the issues "head on", make "plans" for "your" future and "execute" them.

Try and veer away from any kind of medication to "make you feel better" and join the AP90 if porn is a habit. Keep healthy and happy...you owe it to yourself and your kids. If you need to vent about the relationship start a new thread...might do you some good!

 

[Zeds]

Don't have much to add to the PE/ED stuff but I just wanted to say that what that girl did is just so shitty and we're all here for you man. I'm glad you're moving on from her and wish you all the best.

I hear about girls cheating on guys so much (weirdly, rarely the other way around) and it just makes me feel so sad and depressed that there's little hope for honest relationships these days.

 

[LitterBan]

You can do it consecutively, maybe better until you've had more practice with it.
You used to have great stamina so you know what you're looking for in terms of progress.

Thank you sir... Can I add jelqs and stretches to the routine? Do Jelqs and stretch before sleeping, then edging upon waking up. Or is this a recipe for disaster?

Hey LB...there's lots of guys that have been/are in a similar situation to you here. I worked virtually 24 hours a day running a fairly successful electronics manufacturing company for 20 years. When the "sh*t hit the fan" I was left jobless, homeless and worthless. You can turn it around but it takes time...sounds very cliche but it's true. Deal with the issues "head on", make "plans" for "your" future and "execute" them.

Try and veer away from any kind of medication to "make you feel better" and join the AP90 if porn is a habit. Keep healthy and happy...you owe it to yourself and your kids. If you need to vent about the relationship start a new thread...might do you some good!

Hey Ta53ora, thanks for responding. What I came to slowly accept is that she's someone who will sleep around, no regards to kids or marriage. I want to expand on this but this will be for the relationship thread.

As for AP90, I used to be into porn. But now no more, I might watch once or twice in a month, there are even consecutive months of no porn. Would AP90 still be a good program? Or is there something better suited for my condition?

Don't have much to add to the PE/ED stuff but I just wanted to say that what that girl did is just so shitty and we're all here for you man. I'm glad you're moving on from her and wish you all the best.

I hear about girls cheating on guys so much (weirdly, rarely the other way around) and it just makes me feel so sad and depressed that there's little hope for honest relationships these days.

It is definitely shitty man. I stopped sleeping around, partying when I got married, apparently she didn't feel the same. Now it's trying to fix trust issues and all the insecurities she left.

WHat's funny, is that she is still texting asking for a booty call. I don't know if it's a mind game but it's irritating.

 

[longerlastingnoob]

You can do stretches jelqs ( look at the conditioning and jp90 links in my signature )
then edge after, edging helps with penis enlargement exercises, just like they help with edging stamina exercises and prem e.

 

[Jay1983]

Lazy people tend to sleep around, because you know, they're too damn lazy to masturbate when their partner isn't around lol or something. I'm currently in my last relationship, because once it's done... it's done. And there's gonna have to be some darn tooth pulling to get me to verge from sticking to just strictly casual. World sure is a crazy place nowadays, or maybe it's always been this way? Meh.

Stay strong buddy, and welcome to the gym! :thumb:

 

[Tamora]

Hey LB...no harm in joining the AP90 gang...good for the soul and you might just have a laugh or two along the way!

Seems to me your "condition" is mainly due to the sh*t you're coping with and buried deep within the mind...give yourself time to heal and take it one day at a time.

P.S. No need for formalities...the name's Tamora...TVR Tamora. As in...the name's Bond...James Bond. Yep...I'm a British cockney mate...sorry about that! lol

 

[LitterBan]

Thank you Tamora. I will follow AP90 and log it in here. Hopefully by following a routine, I get to fix the physical as well as mental and emotional issues. I just wished I admitted about this issue earlier and looked for a solution online rather than buy sprays and useless pills.

 

[LitterBan]

Another step towards admittance was I finally got to measure my junior last night. Got measurements of BPEL: 5.8, and MEG: 4.10. If I measure the glans, It girth/circumference is 5.3. Primary goal is to be able to ejaculate whenever I want to, or ejaculate in an hour or more. Secondary goal is to increase BPEL to 6.8 or more, and MEG to 5.10 or more.

Before going to sleep, I did stretches for 5 minutes, and jelqs for 10 minutes.

Slept for 4 hours (my normal max sleep time), then did a 48 minute edging, 4 edges.

Did another edging 5 hours later (40 minutes) 3 times, pre-cum came out on the second edge.

Last session 6 hours later (37 minutes) 4 edges, I had a small amount of white stuff (semen I think) that was mixed on the 3rd edge. Does this mean I ejaculated?

On all sessions I was stopping ejaculations by kegels and stopping all stimulation/rubbing my junior. Or sometimes by pressing the area before the glans using my thumb and index finger.

I had sex, which was again unsuccessful because I finished in 4 mins, 46 seconds. I did not have a problem when the pace was slow (first 3 mins), but when the lady kept saying "harder" or 'faster", which I obliged, trouble started. And when I felt her vagina clenching my junior harder and harder, it was so hard controlling, So I stopped. The lady got disappointed as she was already reaching her climax and I stopped. So I started it again, this time I was thrusting harder and faster. As she was climaxing, she had a harder grip... I tried breathing deep, and blanking my mind, and biting my lips, but unable to counter ejaculating. I felt depressed and ashamed that I wasn't able to satisfy her.


QUestions:

1. Is this a good option that I increased the number or edging sessions to 3 times a day?

2. How should I counter the problem of ejaculation when pace and intensity + audio over stimulation? Or more so, how do I extend the time before reaching the first edge?

3. Does this mean that my edging and routine is failing because I see no improvement?

As always, thank you!

 

[lilbigman]

If you want to last longer during the act, simply pull out when you get close and kegal it back and give him a few seconds to re-coup. When your ready, put it back in and repeat as many times as needed. Basically edging, but during sex. This works well for me when I am particularly horny and want to ejac to soon. I can turn 5 minute sex into an hour long session by doing this a few times. Women usually don't mind you pulling out for a min if it means a better, longer fucking. Also switching position can be a big help in lasting longer and most women don't mind that either.