JAMESMONROE Journal and Log. (Premature Ejaculation) PLEASE HELP!!!! :O)

[spanky]

Get to know your body. Relish the sensations all the way up your arousal ladder to ejaculation. This will take some time and practice if you've just been racing to the end so far, and you'll need to train your body as well as your head. do your kegels. A lot. get them strong and under your control. Eliminate involuntary kegels as far as you can, ideally completely, so that relaxation is a conscious decision, not a fight. There's a mountain of information on here. I've summarised the things I've learnt here on the link in my signature.

I think the truth is that it's probably not as complicated as all that, but it's so easy to get ourselves badly settled and then so hard to recover. The details may not be necessary if you're on the right path, but the truth is we don't know the right path, so we argue the details trying to find it.

Persevere man, and remember that sex is not just about banging away or just about having an orgasm, those are just parts. It's a thrill from start to finish. let that guide everything you think about and everything you do in bed.

That's my opinion on the matter anyway. I'm still on the path. I've gone from two pumps and its over at the beginning of this year to having some degree of control and I can usually go for 10 minutes or so now. Not always, but usually.

Get to know your body. That's pretty much the size of it. Short and sharp, but I hope that's useful.

 

[JamesMonroe]

Hi JamesMonroe. Great read. I have had problems for a long time and I often back away from sex for fear of embarassment... often when a girl reaches down to touch me I stop them, I think it could go off at any second (well, it could). I've had sex with about a dozen girls, with very varying success, from 20 seconds to 2 hours, but regulalry its not long at all (0-3 mins) - the fact that I have lasted for a long time before gives me a little hope its mental, but I should stress this is fairly rare.

I definately masturbated way too much when I was young, regular things, fear of being caught etc... I have also developed almost a constant kegel when I masturbate, which screws me... I can literally make myself orgasm whenever I want, but not in a good way, its always way too soon. I dont really understand how to reverse kegel.

I need to do something about it as I'm starting up with a girl who I really like, but I dont want this to cause the end of things at such an early stage (no pun intended).

I would be grateful if you could provide some advice as a starter, and hopefully I can be as successful as you one day.

You definately need to start by getting good at reverse kegels and stop regular kegels for a long while. You can always go back to them later or as soon as your notice a lot of times where you can't stay hard. They are usually for erection strength and to shoot your load far in my opinion. Reverse kegels keep your pelvic floor relaxed, keeps the PONR further away and they can also be used to stop ejaculation. Regular kegels without reverse kegels and porn is BAD NEWS!!! regular kegels are linked to the ejaculation process, reverse kegels are the opposite. Also stop porn completely to get those images away from your body and mind. NEVER masturbate to porn. Try edging to know your limit and fight it and continue. Ballooning also. Get a woman and do it often as possible. Don't worry if you cum fast, it still sometimes happens to me when I haven't had sex for a while and it's the first round. Try for round 2 and 3 on the same day and you will last longer. A beer or two will help but done make it a habit. Also slow controlled sex is best. You can thrust harder and faster in the future. It's a question of time. Read my log/journal and other posts carefully. It's all there.

 

[JamesMonroe]

Today I lasted about 40 minutes of hard, fast porn trusting WITHOUT drinking beer. I was in total control. There was a lot of her ontop slamming up and down on me(not just laying on me rubbing back and forth) and there was also real hard, fast and deep doggy style, with lots of spanking, for a long time. I was in total control, very confident, and had a few DO's/MMO's towards the end.... And this was only round 1. My body and mind are trained very well now I think. I truly believe proper training and giving it lots of time for that training to work, is key. Good luck guys. I don't think there is better training than training with the real thing. Please find my other post called, "My cure for Prem Ejac" and read the last/latest paragraph I wrote. Thanx and good luck!!!
Btw... I am seeing a relation between not having frequent real sex and prem ejac. The more often you do it, and the more times a day you do it, the longer you last. I think that is key. The body gets used to more and better sex and you aren't full of semen that needs to escape ASAP and is dying to blow/explode all the time. Did I just stumble on to something very important/true? Sure seems like it.

 

[JamesMonroe]

NEW DISCOVERY!!! (sorry... had to copy and past to it's own new section/individual p

NEW DISCOVERY!!! (sorry... had to copy and past to it's own new section/individual p

Zzz

 

[mvergasioin]

Zzz

After all that humping James, your dick is due for a short nap.

 

[JamesMonroe]

Haha. Hopefully it IS a SHORT nap. Haja.
Please read my long paragraph above guys. Don't miss it. It's post # 63.

 

[JamesMonroe]

Great news... I'm lasting about 30-45 min every time now without drinking or eating blueberries and nuts. Haha. It's happening in the first round!!! No more "emptying the tank before a hot date" bullshit, or "let's get the quick, lame short one out of the way first". I hadn't had sex for about 5 days too. I thought I was gonna blow in the first 5-10 min. I really think it's the reverse kegels, the getting used to the most stimulating position(doggy) so I can last long at all other positions, the constant sex, no masturbation and no porn. I really believe my body and brain is finally trained properly(with the real thing) and they are in a good, happy place now ;0).
Good luck guys, I'm rooting for you!!!!

P.S. Ain't no better exercise than sex.(Hands down.)

 

[JamesMonroe]

*Update: lasted 50 minutes today again on the first round. ;0)
It's definately a lot more physical than mental and it's not what you eat either.
I believe that if you train right with the right exercises and stay constant with a new/better routine and give it time, the body and mind gets used to it, forgets the wrong things and keeps doing the new good things. The confidence that comes later when you start seeing results adds personal power and further helps to erase the problem.

 

[spanky]

Which reverse K's are you doing James? Forward, back / root lock, both independently, or both together?

 

[JamesMonroe]

Which reverse K's are you doing James? Forward, back / root lock, both independently, or both together?

I also believe it is the constant sex and the getting used to very intense sexual positions and doing them harder and faster gradually. I'm starting to have sex porno style and its a huge confidence booster. You gotta build it up slowly, that is the key. As for RKs.... not sure but I think I do more front RK's than back ones cuz I tend to isolate more and I feel the stretch right at the front. I am now trying to do them sitting on a chair with all my weight on my butthole, which is a lot tougher so I guess that is more to the back now. I would say I often do both together usually but I push out the stretch so hard that I ultimately end up feeling it at the front more than anything. What are root locks?????????

Btw.... I don't masturbate or watch porn anymore. It's been a long time. Also... I found its best to stay relaxed and not kegel or reverse kegel at all during sex. If I feel spasms or a PONR I will stop penetration, pull out, perform a long hard reverse kegel, then re-insert and start up slowly. Works every time.

 

[spanky]

I also believe it is the constant sex and the getting used to very intense sexual positions and doing them harder and faster gradually.

Yeah I'd go along with that. Awareness is the key though, just having lots of sex without paying attention doesn't necessarily do anything - I know cos my last LTR before this girl I was cumming fast. often.

As for RKs.... not sure but I think I do more front RK's than back ones cuz I tend to isolate more and I feel the stretch right at the front. I am now trying to do them sitting on a chair with all my weight on my butthole, which is a lot tougher so I guess that is more to the back now. I would say I often do both together usually but I push out the stretch so hard that I ultimately end up feeling it at the front more than anything. What are root locks?????????

Root locks are just the yoga name for back RKs, forcing a sh*t, rather than your piss out. Though they don't put it quite like that! If you're interested in more subtle and detailed exploration of kegels and RKs and their effects, Minuteman might be your best bet, though we haven't seen him around for a while.

Btw.... I don't masturbate or watch porn anymore. It's been a long time. Also... I found its best to stay relaxed and not kegel or reverse kegel at all during sex. If I feel spasms or a PONR I will stop penetration, pull out, perform a long hard reverse kegel, then re-insert and start up slowly. Works every time.

I barely watch porn any more. I did sometimes with my last gf, but it was a different head space, it was just dirty fun, not a replacement for sex or an exercise in imagining it's you in the film. I think that's where it's dangerous psychologically.

All interesting stuff anyway James. Good Work Fella, as they say. Got me doing more RKs than ever to build up some strength anyway, that's for sure

 

[JamesMonroe]

Yeah I'd go along with that. Awareness is the key though, just having lots of sex without paying attention doesn't necessarily do anything - I know cos my last LTR before this girl I was cumming fast. often.



Root locks are just the yoga name for back RKs, forcing a sh*t, rather than your piss out. Though they don't put it quite like that! If you're interested in more subtle and detailed exploration of kegels and RKs and their effects, Minuteman might be your best bet, though we haven't seen him around for a while.



I barely watch porn any more. I did sometimes with my last gf, but it was a different head space, it was just dirty fun, not a replacement for sex or an exercise in imagining it's you in the film. I think that's where it's dangerous psychologically.

All interesting stuff anyway James. Good Work Fella, as they say. Got me doing more RKs than ever to build up some strength anyway, that's for sure

Thanx and good, I'm glad. Keep up the good work. I am gonna stay away from regulars until I really need them for EQ, but so far I'm golden.

 

[Pegasus86]

I want to thank you JamesMonroe. Your recommendations helped me the most. I'm staying away from kegels for a few weeks now, and only doing RK. THIS HELPS!! I have much more control and the spasms have reduced significantly.

THANK YOU.

 

[JamesMonroe]

I want to thank you JamesMonroe. Your recommendations helped me the most. I'm staying away from kegels for a few weeks now, and only doing RK. THIS HELPS!! I have much more control and the spasms have reduced significantly.

THANK YOU.

Congrats! So happy to hear. R u having sex or just masturbating?

 

[JamesMonroe]

I went from 2 minutes to 50 minutes of hard, fast porn-style sex in about 5-6 months. Thank you PEGym!!!
What cured me was:
Reverse kegels
Stopped regular kegels completely
No porn
No masturbation
Real sex often, 2-3 times a day
No quickies and no blowjobs for a while
Have slow controlled sex at first
Practice/get used to most intense sexual position to make all others seem like a piece of cake
Patience and persistence

Now I can thrust hard and fast porno style without drinking alcohol, emptying my chamber beforehand, eating certain things or trying to think about certain mental things to get me less aroused. I am PHYSICALLY changed.

 

[Mikeyjay]

Wow dude, congrats

Wow dude, congrats

It took me like 2 days to collect all the time, but i did it. I just read your whole journey. And i must say, i'm like proud of you lol. It is truly an inspiration. I'm new here, and it is very hard to figure out where to start, there is so much info on the gym, but it is my new home now. I was wondering if you could recommend a good way to figure out how to reverse kegel ? Figuring out how to regularly kegel was easy, it's like holding in my pee. but as far i know, i don't need kegels, i need reverse kegels. How can i locate them ?

 

[JamesMonroe]

Bump(requested by a member)

 

[JamesMonroe]

It took me like 2 days to collect all the time, but i did it. I just read your whole journey. And i must say, i'm like proud of you lol. It is truly an inspiration. I'm new here, and it is very hard to figure out where to start, there is so much info on the gym, but it is my new home now. I was wondering if you could recommend a good way to figure out how to reverse kegel ? Figuring out how to regularly kegel was easy, it's like holding in my pee. but as far i know, i don't need kegels, i need reverse kegels. How can i locate them ?

It's pushing out. The stretch/feeling starts at the asshole them ends at the penis. If you push out hard enough you will feel both. To long and short holds. Standing up straight or laying totally flat is the best. If you sit down it is WAY harder and is only for advanced reverse kegel exercises.
Any luck? Let me know....

 

[Nox]

I use a light reverse kegel hold(mostly subconsciously now that I'm used to it)the whole time during sex to keep the pelvis floor relaxed and in control. For some people, like me, regular kegels during sex can actually induce ejacation. I use a long, hard REVERSE kegel AT the PONR in order to stop ejaculation, have a dry orgasm and then continue to have sex. I usually have 3-5 more PONRS and then ejaculate after that at some point because it feels to good/sensitive to continue thrusting without ejaculation. For me usually around the 30 min mark. Having sex a 2nd and 3rd time really gets rid of sensitivity and pelvic spasms for me.
I also noticed that hard reg or rev kegels shouldnt be done while thrusting/penetration, atleast for me. It will def cause me to get closer to PONR. I usually pull out to perform them, wait a few seconds, then I keep going with a light reverse relax hold while continuing to thrust. In order to do all this u have to get good at reverse kegels. As an exercise, I just push out as hard and as much as I can(be very careful at first). I push out as long as I can about 3/5 times, then I do a about 5 ten second holds, then 10 five second holds then a bunch of fast hard short bursts. If your ab muscles are doing a lot of the work at first that's ok. You get better with time. At first do it every other day. Your muscles have to rest and recuperate.

How many times per day (skipping every other day) did you do that routine?

 

[JamesMonroe]

Read the few last posts of mine on how I don't do many exercises at all anymore and how it's all about real sex practice, having sex often and at least 2-3 times in one day and stopping regular kegels and not masturbating to porn and stopping watching porn all together and only doing reverse kegel exercises every other day.