JAMESMONROE Journal and Log. (Premature Ejaculation) PLEASE HELP!!!! :O)

[JamesMonroe]

JAMESMONROE Journal and Log. (THE BEGINNING)
Just started @ The PEGym MAY 2011.
BPEL: 5 1/2
EG: 5 1/2
Erect Goal :BPEL: 7 1/2
EG: 6
Current Routine: Stretching then Edging/Reverse Kegeling/Jelqing, all at the same time, with lube, while watching POV porn, with full shaft strokes with twists at the top/head.
PONR @ 20 to 50 minute mark.
(1 day on, 1 day off)

Hello! Just want to say first a BIG THANK YOU to the PEGym people and all the members for all your help. You guys are awesome!!!!

Here goes:

(JUNE 10th, 20011)
Male 35 years old and cut.
Never really had premature ejaculation growing up with real sex with women, but then again never really did get laid all the time either.
I never kegeled, reverse kegeled or worried about finishing too quick back then because I didnt really have a problem.
If I ran into trouble I would do Start and Stop with pretty good success. I would say I lasted a good 15-20 minutes (always with a condom).
My problem started a year ago (34 years old) when I broke up with my girlfriend.
I started watching lots of porn on the computer on a hard chair, masturbating quicker and quicker WITHOUT LUBE, while doing REGULAR kegels PRETTY MUCH THE WHOLE TIME. I had learned about regular kegels and started doing them all the time. I was even able to hold ONE for 8 minutes at one point till I stopped.
I didnt really have rest days from them or porn. It was practically every day for a whole year. I remember even having some pain sometimes from doing the regular kegels. By the time I realized, I was finishing from ((( 1 to 5 MINUTES)))) watchimng amazingly beautiful and hot porn women on the comp.
I just found the PEGym about a month ago BUT I have been doing REVERSE kegels for about 3 months now. I am very good at them.
I started the exercises without masturbation and now for about a month I have been trying to keeping a semi-full to full reverse kegel while I masturbate. I thought maybe this was the way to last long. I am also edging now and jelqing all at the same time:

Current Routine: Stretching then Edging/Reverse Kegeling/Jelqing, all at the same time, with lube, while watching POV porn, with full shaft strokes with twists at the top/head. MY CURRENT PHILOSOPHY IS THAT IF I TRAIN THIS WAY AND HARD.... I WILL BE ABLE TO HANDLE ANY GIRL IN THE BEDROOM. Some people say i should train with NO PORN, but it doesnt make much sense to me.

I've decided to stop all regular kegels for a while just in case. I remember a person saying that one should hold a light/easy reverse kegel so that the penis head will not get to inflammed, therefore getting rid of too much sensitivity/excitement. I tried that today with great success. I lasted very long. I sometimes last 20-50 minutes without any spasms/pelvic floor contractions but sometimes I last only 10 minutes. The times I don't last that long is probably because I didn't get enough sleep or because I ballooned the night before. Hopefully thats why...thats what it seems. It could also be that the porn is a bit intense, but I've lasted an HOUR before through some pretty sexy scenes, so I'm sure it's something else.

I've also notice, like most of you, that I last a WAY longer time if its the 2nd time masturbating/edging.... but sometimes it hasn't matterted. I also noticed that I last a lot longer if I've been doing reverse kegel exercises at work before coming home to edge. Someone told me it really helps. Is this true?

Today I did my regular routine, then went to work. Just for the hell of it at work I did reverse kegels and some regular kegels and decided to go home and try again. I ejaculated earlier at 8pm and came home to edge at 4:30am.( i work the graveyard shift from 10pm-3am) This time I decided to only edge(watching POV porn, with full shaft strokes with twists at the top/head with lube), without jelqing and without holding a reverse kegel. I was totally relaxed. my penis head didnt really plump up cuz i didnt do any kegels and i was rock solid. I also tried to take deep breaths sometimes. I felt in TOTAL control. I lasted an HOUR without any spasms till minute 50!!!! I did so many things today that It couold have been any of them or a mixture. I dont know. I really with I could pin-point exactly what is making me last long. I aslo read that eating carbs like pasta and baked potatoes makes you last long. (brain chemistry?)

I am having sex with my ex girlfriend this weekend for 2 days. I am thinking of doing 69 first to finish first, perform oral on her, get her close to orgasm, then have her ontop so she can orgasm. Thats what we usually do.

BTW.... I've always been too sensitive and with a big penis head so I get excited very easily. I will never have erection problems, even though I've been watching porn all my life. I get erections just when girls touch my arm or neck or if i see a super hot woman in the street and i start imagining stuff.

BTW... I've had some talks about weather i should use porn or not to edge.... what do you think? Also... is it really important to start regular kegels again soon for a person like me? Regular kegels make me ejaculate pretty much instantly. I personally think I should keep staying away from them.

BTW.... I also stopped ballooning because if i do it one night... the next morning edging session is too short and I kinda feel like I will be training my body and mind to finish too quick again. I only tried it 2 times.

I ordered the thickest condoms on the planet(true statement). The lifestyles Extra strength/strong. They come in a blue wrapper. I tried one out but it seems like a real tight and small fit.... I hope I can keep an erection in those. It feels like my penis is being strangled! I'm taking my usual trojan ultra ribbed and some silky lube also just incase.

Thanx again guys..... any comments? Love you all, good luck and may ther Force be with you.

 

[JamesMonroe]

Had sex with my ex girfriend this saturday night. It was a disaster for the most part. I feel like just giving up on sex. I can masturbate with full strokes with twists at the penis head with lube at home for an hour, but with her ontop I lasted 3-5 minutes. It was partly my fault cuz i wanted us to do 69 first to make me ejaculate first, continune givivng her oral then do it after that, but she said she was really horny and was gonna finish very fast so we just went at it. Luckily we did finish together at the same time around the 5 minute mark but i was lucky. We tried again but she was too dry even with lube. She has issues too. The second time around she closes up and gets too dry. We tried it again the next day in the morning and I must have finished in 3 minutes. I really wanted to cry. Next time i guess we will have me finish first and then try it after that. I am extrememly disappointed. All the edging and reverse kegeling for nothing. Maybe I'll stop watching porn to see if that helps and maybe more ballooning. I wanna die. I dont know what to do.

 

[Pegasus]

Did the her being sexy set off kegels?

 

[JamesMonroe]

i felt like i was too excited and i couldnt even remember to breath slowly or hold a slight reverse kegel. I was too worried about lasting. maybe i was breathing super fast but i cant even remember! and yes... mayvbe she was too sexy because of me watching porn. I'm definately gonna stop watchimg porn now. Im gonna continue reverse kegeling, stop regular kegels completely(did it a few times last week) edging and a lot more ballooning I guess but I feel so down. Maybe I havent given it much time? Should I continue edging and ballooning with lube or without? I heard its better with lube since it feels closer to sex. Luckily she knows about eveythimg and is gonna help me through this. We will work a lot better together next time.

Edit: I even used the thickest condoms on Earth and that didnt help.

 

[Pegasus]

A boxer would normally train for some time before having a bout. Do not be dejected continue your training. many inexperienced boxers forget their training once they get hit a few times ,this is similar to what happened to you.

 

[japanesedick]

i felt like i was too excited and i couldnt even remember to breath slowly or hold a slight reverse kegel. I was too worried about lasting. maybe i was breathing super fast but i cant even remember! and yes... mayvbe she was too sexy because of me watching porn. I'm definately gonna stop watchimg porn now. Im gonna continue reverse kegeling, stop regular kegels completely(did it a few times last week) edging and a lot more ballooning I guess but I feel so down. Maybe I havent given it much time? Should I continue edging and ballooning with lube or without? I heard its better with lube since it feels closer to sex. Luckily she knows about eveythimg and is gonna help me through this. We will work a lot better together next time.

Edit: I even used the thickest condoms on Earth and that didnt help.

Hey, currently I am battling premature ejaculation aswell. But like you, I never really had premature ejaculation when I first started sex but a long period of no sex made me masturbate to porn as quick as I can which I believe led me to the problem. Nowadays when I masturbate to porn I will get to PONR in about 2mins or 5mins if I'm lucky.

In my case I've had periods where I constantly have premature ejaculation for like a month then I realise something I have to do and this stops my premature ejaculation. But a bit after my premature ejaculation has stopped and I get overconfident that I don't have premature ejaculation anymore and I have forgotten to do the things which stopped my premature ejaculation gradually eventually getting me back into the state of having PE.

Anyway the "something" I found that I had to do is EXTREMELY based on my mental. With me I found that if I am tipsy or drunk I am able to basically last forever. It's true that your body becomes numb (including your penis) but I'm sure that wasn't the only thing because I could still feel the sensation and it was great. I noticed it was mainly about my mental state. When I am tipsy or drunk and am about to have sex, all I am thinking about is how much fun I am going to have, how much I am going to please her, how much pleasure I'm going to get about this, etc and I'm basically just looking so forward to it which is very different to when I am sober and in the corner of my head I am always worrying about when I will cum.

Realising the above factor, I tried to think of the differences in how I have sex when I don't cum quick and do cum quick. The main thing is - I don't hold back when I am able to last long, in terms of my attitude during the sex. If I am worried about when I am going to cum, this kind of holds me back from being really into it and I won't make as much sound as I would, I would hold my breath in more, etc etc. Because I'm scared to embarass myself when I'm full into it and I cum too quickly. So all I needed is a small attitude change and basically I went in with the attitude "I'm going to be as good as a pornstar and make her scream from the pleasure", and while we were having sex I basically just had the confidence that I am good at it. It's kind of like tricking your brain but you just have to do that. Think that if you cum too early, then thats that, so whatever, just enjoy this moment right now.

With this kind of attitude, when I can last basically I can go for like 20~30mins as long as I change positions once in a while and don't go too fast, etc etc. And I noticed that when I wank to porn even after getting rid of my premature ejaculation, I get to the PONR as the same as before, 2 to 5mins lol. So although I'm sure training your masturbation technique will help, if your mental attitude is not fixed, then your premature ejaculation won't be fixed. So be CONFIDENT. Good luck with it, I know you can do it!

Oh and just to let you know so you feel don't feel so bad about yourself, basically I asked around some people and half my friends told me on average they do last like 10~15mins but it really depends on their condition and there are days where they only last like 5 seconds. Even my girlfriend told my about her friends boyfriends cases like that. So you're exagurating this problem in your head wayyy too much.

 

[max10]

You are one of the cases, just like me, that is purely mental. I had a porn problem just like you. I call these mental orgasms. You are ejaculating fast because you are used to porn images pouring into your brain, causing excitement and leading you to cum in a minute. If a girl is riding you it looks like porn. Even if you barely feel anything on your penis, you still cum because you are so excited.

Porn has trained your arousal level to be at maximum right away. When you get into a sexual encounter, this mental reflex kicks in, and you are just ready to ejac. Practice your arousal levels alone, with the various techniques on this site. Balloon or masturbate with no porn, relax, maybe reach a few dry orgasms or PONR's. Then, turn on some porn. Your arousal level will be de-sensitized a bit, and it will be more relaxed(just like how foreplay helps you adjust and relax). Don't go head on into porn when you train yourself, or don't launch into dirty fantasies right away when you masturbate. Clear your mind, feel the sensations, be comfortable, and then ramp up the arousal/fantasy and practice from there. It has worked wonders for me, and I still have off days, but I promise you the only way from here is up.

 

[JamesMonroe]

You are one of the cases, just like me, that is purely mental. I had a porn problem just like you. I call these mental orgasms. You are ejaculating fast because you are used to porn images pouring into your brain, causing excitement and leading you to cum in a minute. If a girl is riding you it looks like porn. Even if you barely feel anything on your penis, you still cum because you are so excited.

Porn has trained your arousal level to be at maximum right away. When you get into a sexual encounter, this mental reflex kicks in, and you are just ready to ejac. Practice your arousal levels alone, with the various techniques on this site. Balloon or masturbate with no porn, relax, maybe reach a few dry orgasms or PONR's. Then, turn on some porn. Your arousal level will be de-sensitized a bit, and it will be more relaxed(just like how foreplay helps you adjust and relax). Don't go head on into porn when you train yourself, or don't launch into dirty fantasies right away when you masturbate. Clear your mind, feel the sensations, be comfortable, and then ramp up the arousal/fantasy and practice from there. It has worked wonders for me, and I still have off days, but I promise you the only way from here is up.

Dont u think I should stop watching porn all together though to reset my brain and body? Ive been ballooning and edging now for 4 days without letting myself ejaculate at the end and without porn and I feel great. Been having almost no PONRs and feel in total control and no need to ejaculate. ;0)

 

[JamesMonroe]

Been doing my new routine(which is listed below) and thinking of only ejaculating once a week or so. I went for 4 days and it feels empowering. I'm mixing edging with ballooning also lately and it seems very productive. I have stopped watching porn so I hope that makes me less sensitive when I'm with a real woman. I feel like I am on the right track now. During ballooning I am rubbing all kinds of sweet spots including the underside of my head. I also noticed that the area of the urination/ejaculation hole is a very sensitive spot... infact.... the whole head. I also sometimes do an OK sign rub on the head. THAT is VERY stimulating so I'm trying to get used to that. KIT!!!! Thanx.

 

[JamesMonroe]

Awesome edging/reverse kegel/ballooning session. Lasted 1 hour and could have kept going but I got tired of it. PONRs didn't come till around minute 45!!! Thinking maybe I lasted long again cuz I did rev Kegels at work beforehand again. I chose NOT to ejaculate at the end again. No porn... just watched a normal movie. It was 75% edging(full strokes) and 25% ballooning(all sensitive spots). I balloon now during edging when I start getting sensitive or at PONRs instead of stopping stimulation completely. I held a reverse kegel for about 65% of the time. Sometimes light sometimes hard, especially at the PONRs. I still do rev Kegels pretty hard and during edging but during sex I will just be relaxed, hold a light rev kegel and use hard ones at PONRs.

 

[JamesMonroe]

New very important discovery!!!!

New very important discovery!!!!

Just finished my Day 2: Reverse Kegel/Full Stroke/Balloon Combo.(no ejaculation) routine. I was able to go for 1 hour and 15 minutes today! Ballooning once in a while helps to last longer though, since it's not that stimulating for me. I reverse kegeled during the ballooning section and my penis got HUGE every time. I also JELQ btw on day 1 of my routine. I discovered something very important and enlightening today while edging! I was sitting up on my bed today as usual and decided to THRUST my hips a bit(to simulate sex a bit better) while I was full stroking. Well guess what?.... I felt like ejaculating right away AND I THINK I KNOW WHY!!! The pressure of me sitting down and the top half of my body thrusting and pressure on my ass/asshole was putting pressure on my prostate or something down there! That is how I think I came up with Premature Ejaculation in the first place! For a whole year(WITHOUT A GIRLFRIEND OR MUCH SEX) I was sitting upright on a very hard chair masturbating pretty fast to really hot porn and REGULAR kegeling almost the whole time!!! I think I trained my body to get used to all that pressure and physical and mental stimulation. I tried these different positions tonight and it got rid of the kegel type feeling/pressure/spasms: "totally flat on my back", "on my knees like in doggy style", and "sideways on my hip". I remember ALWAYS lasting very long on my side/hip during sex. From now on I will do all my routines flat on my back. This relieves pressure off of the prostate and asshole. I believe that the lack of pressure on that area or prostate, if I am correct, along with my current routine(listed below) will be the key to retraining my body, mind and soul, and the end to Premature Ejaculation!!! BTW... I bet a lot of you sit or put pressure down on that area and do regular kegels while watching porn on the computer. You guys should try training yourself off of this bad habit like me. Please give it a shot and comment please. Thanx and good luck!!! BTW... I CAME UP WITH A GREAT NEW BALLOONING TECHNIQUE SO PLEASE LOOK FOR THE POST!!! It's called, My newest most awesomest ballooning technique!!! ;o) (click on this link actually)
I think I'll call it The "BALL AND SOCKET" ballooning technique.

 

[mistydawn]

I appreciate your working at your PE problem. I read your posts and can't help thinking you are obsessed with this. Maybe it is just that most guys don't go into the detail you do. It scares me a little bit. Just sayin'...

 

[JamesMonroe]

I appreciate your working at your PE problem. I read your posts and can't help thinking you are obsessed with this. Maybe it is just that most guys don't go into the detail you do. It scares me a little bit. Just sayin'...

haha! yup. The fact that I really wanna beat this and that I am a VIRGO doesn't help. haha!

 

[OldRocker]

JamesMonroe,

I think you are on the right track. Taking the pressure off your prostrate seems to also let the sensation dissipate throughout the body rather than keeping the focus on the penis. Plus, it helps with the relaxation response which in turn lowers the arousal level.

There is a bit of a paradox involved in this process; we are trying to get ourselves extremely excited while remaining relaxed in so doing. This is the middle way, grasshopper!

Nice job! Cheers.

OldRocker

 

[Drummer19]

Great post James! I love coming on the threads and finding out new things you learn. It is very inspiring. I also noticed a while back that sitting is much more difficult to edge to than standing up. I think the way you explain removing pressure off of the asshole and prostate is accurate too. If I am standing up it takes a lot longer for me to reach the PONR when edging.

 

[JamesMonroe]

Great post James! I love coming on the threads and finding out new things you learn. It is very inspiring. I also noticed a while back that sitting is much more difficult to edge to than standing up. I think the way you explain removing pressure off of the asshole and prostate is accurate too. If I am standing up it takes a lot longer for me to reach the PONR when edging.

This just gave me another idea! The girl on top position was tough for me last time. I think what I just explained has to do with it. She totally sits on my and rocks forwards and Backwards stimulating her clit to cum. I'm almost sure her weight was causing pressure, also, I was not completely flat on my back, which takes pressure off and shifts it to the tailbone instead. This brings me to REVERSE KEGELS! Pegasus once told me that reverse Kegels should be done and practiced in all positions. I found it hard to do reverse Kegels when in a sitting or any kind of position that puts pressure on the prostate/asshole. I recently noticed that my reverse Kegels are strong enough now that I can do them when sitting! I am able to inflate my asshole and lift my body up a bit. That's the rear reverse kegel. The front comes after that in the flex and is felt near your penis/balls. I am gonna train myself to reverse kegel a lot better now at work sitting down to fight/train against this unwanted pressure and to practice reverse Kegels also in a different/strategic way. I figure if I trained myself the wrong way by sitting on a hard chair watching porn, constantly doing regular Kegels while mastirbating fast, I will now try the exact opposite!

 

[Bobbyj]

I notice no matter how many reverse kegels I do I still do a high rate of involuntary kegels with any contact to my penis

 

[JamesMonroe]

I notice no matter how many reverse kegels I do I still do a high rate of involuntary kegels with any contact to my penis

Sorry to hear that. I don't think I've ever been that sensitive. Maybe you are very young and/or haven't done reverse kegels long enough or properly. You should try and hold them as long as you can and then so quick short hard bursts towards the end of your session. keep at it. Good luck.

 

[JamesMonroe]

Today my ex girlfriend came over. She was on her period so we dry humped. I had shorts on and she was in her underwear. I got very aroused cuz she’s really sexy and beautiful so I was a bit nervous. I was dreading finishing in my shorts as she rode me for some reason! She was on top. She orgasmed which was about 7 minutes. After that she gave me a vigorous handjob withOUT lube so it was intense. I noticed I forgot to breathe slowly about half way then started. I also told her to slow down a few times(she knows my problem and wants to help). The friction with no lube was intense, but surprisingly I felt in control and could feel that the ballooning has helped to desensitize me. I reached 3 PONRs in about 10 minutes. At PONRs I told her to stop, I reverse kegeled, pulled/stretched out my balls and then she kept going. The whole session was actually about 33 minutes because she was playing with my penis for a whole 15 minutes while we were watching TV before we went at it!!! I noticed when I finished it was kinda hard to push the ejaculation out and it took a while. I think I can thank the edging/ballooning sessions, with no ejaculation at the end, for that. I honestly feel if we had sex I would have lasted way longer without so much friction. It was her dry heavy friction hand that sped things up. Next time we have sex I will be on top missionary taking control of things. So to sum it up: 15 minutes light handjob/caressing of my penis while watching TV, 7-8 minutes of her on top of me dry humping, and 10 minutes of her giving me a vigorous handjob= 33 minutes. Not bad huh? Comments?

 

[J-A-K]

She seems to be extremely helpful for someone who is an EX girlfriend.