I guess this is my sequel thread to being 20 and never being in a relationship

[Anecdote]

yeah lately ive been under the impression that women are evil lol , im right there with ya though i dont want just a title i want something more then that, idk despite what that girl did to me we still managed to be friends, just to keep the work enviorment nice and calm..

 

[ryansambas]

yeah lately ive been under the impression that women are evil lol , im right there with ya though i dont want just a title i want something more then that, idk despite what that girl did to me we still managed to be friends, just to keep the work enviorment nice and calm..

after my experience I'm not sold on having a relationship with anyone I work with haha, maybe casual sex but other than that hmmm.

 

[Anecdote]

yeah i dont think ill ever get with anyone from work agian, just doesnt seem like a good idea after what happend ha.

 

[ryansambas]

luckily there isn't really anyone at my work who I would go out with so I'm safe!

 

[ryansambas]

Thought I'd post a bit of an update.

So it turns out the latest girl I was considering went on a date with one of my best friends last weekend, their chemistry really started at my 21st ironically enough and they really seemed to hit it off and I wasn't the only one who noticed. But I think differently these days so it doesn't bother me at all to be honest, I think with the whole girl at work fiasco I had to change my mindset so I never even got too invested in this or had true feelings so now that this has happened, I just feel 'whatever'. I'm happy for both of them and considering they are both my friends, it'd be great to see them together.

She chats to me a lot on FB which in the past would have made me thought "OMG she must be interested in me!" but it just turns out I'm the friend and not the love interest, that bothers me a little in general just because I don't want to portray the 'nice guy', not that I ever do. I'm normally joking around and being a bit of a smartass and stuff, not for show or anything, just being myself.

We all were in the same highschool but we didn't know her really until last year.

Just means, my love interest will likely be someone I don't know now so I'll have to put in a lot of work haha.

 

[Qarzan]

Hey Ryan! So glad you posted an update. The other day I was actually thinking of finding this thread and asking for an update, but now that you've given it, I don't have to ask!

Have you given any thought to picking up some hobbies? It might help you take your mind off girls a bit, and help make you happier...

 

[Jay1983]

Fish on!

 

[ryansambas]

Hey Ryan! So glad you posted an update. The other day I was actually thinking of finding this thread and asking for an update, but now that you've given it, I don't have to ask!

Have you given any thought to picking up some hobbies? It might help you take your mind off girls a bit, and help make you happier...

Pretty much at the moment just going to gym 4-5 days a week, hopefully get my license at the end of this month in my THIRD effort haha. Next month I go back to university for my last semester so no doubt that will take a lot of my time.

I'm not worried or unhappy about women really, just content. We'll see what happens

 

[ryansambas]

Well on Saturday Night I went to a 21st and drank quite a bit (didn't get ridiculously wasted or throw up, mind you I seem to have a higher threshold than a lot of people. Had countless beers and 2 large drinks of whiskey). Anyway as I'm getting dropped off by my mate, we somehow start to talk about women, I really can't remember the bulk of the conversation since I went to bed as soon as I got in the house and slept for about 10-12 hours but anyway I remember saying I thought this girl was "next in line" and saying to my friend if this other mate goes out with her then I'll be the odd one out since I've never been in a relationship and I said "When's it going to be my turn?". lol, when I woke up, I kind of went 'WTF did I say?', not in a sense of being worried what I said to my mate but more I couldn't really believe what I said and I don't necessarily feel that way, I think the alcohol just exaggerated how I thought about these things. Next time I see him, I'll get him to tell me what I said haha.

 

[ryansambas]

Loads of hot girls in my new uni building, went back this week after 9 months Haven't really talked to anyone yet, in my final semester. Unlike other people I know, I have never made any university friends. I have gotten on with people I've done assignments with and stuff (although half the groups I've had in uni suck, I don't get along with the people and they don't contribute much and guess how that reflects on my final grade!) but never really made any friends who I catch up with from university, not sure why. I do tend to be very shy around new people and maybe since I already have friends locally, I don't see the need to make new friendships but I don't know, kind of wish I was better at introducing myself and so on but I had autism as a child so that's probably where the shyness comes from.

I went with a girl last year in a group assignment because she was the prettiest girl in the class, she ended up being a great asset to the group. Very intelligent, easy to talk to and a good person. Messaged her on facebook a few months after asking how uni was going, no reply lol oh well.

But yeah, still a virgin at 21 which sucks considering my sex drive is pretty high, when I went back to England it was depressingly high (i would see loads of women and get down pretty easily that I wasn't doing anything considering I was on holiday/vacation'.

 

[Qarzan]

yeah lately ive been under the impression that women are evil lol , im right there with ya though i dont want just a title i want something more then that, idk despite what that girl did to me we still managed to be friends, just to keep the work enviorment nice and calm..

Just for a laugh:

 

[Qarzan]

Loads of hot girls in my new uni building, went back this week after 9 months Haven't really talked to anyone yet, in my final semester. Unlike other people I know, I have never made any university friends. I have gotten on with people I've done assignments with and stuff (although half the groups I've had in uni suck, I don't get along with the people and they don't contribute much and guess how that reflects on my final grade!) but never really made any friends who I catch up with from university, not sure why. I do tend to be very shy around new people and maybe since I already have friends locally, I don't see the need to make new friendships but I don't know, kind of wish I was better at introducing myself and so on but I had autism as a child so that's probably where the shyness comes from.

I went with a girl last year in a group assignment because she was the prettiest girl in the class, she ended up being a great asset to the group. Very intelligent, easy to talk to and a good person. Messaged her on facebook a few months after asking how uni was going, no reply lol oh well.

But yeah, still a virgin at 21 which sucks considering my sex drive is pretty high, when I went back to England it was depressingly high (i would see loads of women and get down pretty easily that I wasn't doing anything considering I was on holiday/vacation'.

Hey Ryan! Glad to see you're still posting stuff and keeping us up to date.

I want to share some things I'm discovering for myself, maybe they'll help you out a bit, too.

One thing is, if I want to be friends with someone, and not just "get on" with them, I need to act that way. Sometimes it's scary taking the first step, making the first move, but if I show this other person that I'm here for him/her, am willing to be more than just an acquaintance, and I'm dependable, reliable, and will make time for them, this in itself will leave an impression.

What's going on inside other people's heads? I don't actually know, but if they're anything like me, they're trying to figure out who is dependable, reliable, and trustworthy enough to be let in closer. It's not a matter of moving slowly towards it. If I act that way right from the beginning, then that's what it will be right from the beginning. No incremental steps, no going slow, no changing or modifying; instead, transforming, instantaneously.

It takes a while to get used to thinking this way, especially since I've been in the "slow, gradual change" mindset for my whole life up until now. But, I find it really works. I should be there for people, give myself fully and unconditionally, make time where I can, keep my word, and be completely honest about when I can and can't spend time with them (as in, don't commit to going somewhere with them when I've already scheduled something else during that time, or know I can't get there in time). When the time comes, they'll be there for me when I ask.

 

[ryansambas]

havent been on here in a long time. Thought I'd just update what was going on, a few months back I was at a 21st and ended up almost dying

https://www.pegym.com/forums/exerci...rillation-21-i-almost-died-two-weeks-ago.html (more info there, not going to repeat it all haha)

I'm fine and everything, back to normal. Have drank alcohol since without any problems (not that I drink all the time like I've mentioned). Finish my degree in 3 weeks, one exam left and a 4000+ word research problem lol.

Joined a 'dating' site but it's more aimed towards those interested in sex, talked to a few women and hopefully going to at least 'meet' one of them soon As long as I do okay haha, whoever the lucky lady is will be my first but hopefully she doesn't think that haha.

 

[Qarzan]

Ryan!

OMFG you almost died? Well, did you have a good time at least?

Congrats on graduating! What's next, job?

I've recently started online dating, too. I've found that I'm getting a few dates. Met up with one woman, have two more dates planned (with different women). I think I actually sent out about 30 messages, initiating contact. So that means a 10% success rate. This is what it's like for men in online dating, I try to take it for what it is.

Good luck!

 

[ryansambas]

Finish uni by 25th june at the latest, official graduation ceremony where I'll get my paper degree will be in december. This site is sort of dating but the girls I've been talking to (and going to meet hopefully) are more into casual sex/friends with benefits. That being said, whilst I want to have sex, I would actually like to talk with these women too. I'm not really into online dating as such, or dating at the moment in terms of looking for a relationship. At 21, I'm just kind of still exploring things in my life I guess in general so not really trying to rush into one yet.

I have the sort of the same success rate, sent out a lot of messages and have got a bit of contact back but only two have agreed to meet up (there was another one, who was really pretty but she stopped messaging me back for some reason, oh well). One is 25 and one is 28. The 25 year old seems fairly cool and she's pretty, not sure what the 28 year old looks like yet, won't do anything until I see a photo at least (only seems fair, she knows what I look like).

 

[narcolaptic]

lol its better to be single then listen to some girl that I am small.
lol its my bad experience, not more than few girl do that.

 

[ryansambas]

looks like the same old, close but no cigar. Got a few numbers off the 'dating' site and even though they were initially happy to meet up, seems to not be heading that way anymore, I know I didn't do anything wrong so not going to dwell on it too much and if they get back to me then great but if they don't whatever. Not looking good for my scoresheet though, this makes it about 0-7 or so in the last few years all up (although I only asked two of them out on a date, with the hopes of possibly leading to a relationship, and not having the bottle to ask another one out. The other 4 have primarily just been for hookups (and they know that too, it works both ways).) But, it kind of made for an awesome gym session today so not all doom and gloom.

 

[Qarzan]

Ryan! So glad you posted an update. Keep going. When there's one that clicks with you, it'll move quickly. Trust me.

 

[PeachTea]

I'm 23 now, and have never had anything develop into a proper relationship, mind you there's only really been two opportunities, both of which were somewhat doomed from the get-go due to her circumstances; they each lasted about a week or two, lol. It was only a year and a half ago that I lost my virginity (aged 21), and have only had sex with one other women since. I don't give myself that many opportunities to meet or pursue women, and having a stutter lowers my self confidence in that respect. I'm decent looking, intelligent, 6' tall, fairly athletic build in relatively good fitness, muscular, around the 12-13% body fat range. Everyone thinks I'm a nice guy, but I guess it's the lack of confidence and social anxieties that are working against me.

I recently met a girl who seemed to fall for me pretty heavily, only to have her re-assess everything a week later (to her/my defence, she had experienced a recent tragedy, plus is leaving town very soon), etc. Like some others have mentioned, in hindsight I was probably way too excited due to my lack of experience. I probably came across as being too eager which probably freaked her out a little. Who knows, but it's definitely one of things us guys with little experience under our belt have to be aware of.

I've also learnt that it's generally best to suppress your nervousness and to not be so transparent around women you're getting to know beyond just friends. My strategy for dealing with this is usually telling them how nervous I am, asking for kisses, etc, which really is not very attractive behaviour. I feel I'm learning pretty quick, just really want to get a bit of experience under my belt so meeting someone isn't such a damn novelty.

I use to be pretty comfortable without ever having had a relationship, as I generally enjoy my space and can keep myself entertained, but as I get a taste for women/relationships and get older, it feels like I'm missing out on a whole other dimension to life.

It all serves as motivation to stay fit and healthy, work on my insecurities, work on my cock length (6" NBP, 5.5" girth) and stop looking at porn, even the soft-core stuff. I need all the libido I can get.

Just me two cents. Chin up.

 

[frisson]

Be sure to research fashion for men. Dress well. It's unbelievably easy and people will stare at you (in a good way). That always helps.