ByggD's Guide to Controlling Your Ejaculation Response

[ByggD]

No I get it now thank you. So do you only start doing this once you have a 100% erection, or is this what you use to get the 100% erection? For some reason, I'm starting to find it a little difficult to get a rock hard boner, especially without porn. I think this could develop into a problem if I don't do something about it. Will this program address that problem and sort of re-teach me how to get aroused w/o the need of pornography? Keep in mind this is recent. A month ago I could probably get a hard on whenever I wanted.

Hmmm, interesting. I had never thought about the inability to get an erection without porn. And your trepidation is warranted; retraining your brain can have negative consequences if you are unaware of various happenings. And, let's face it, we know quite a bit about the human brain but it is still a complicated story at this point.

My suggestion is to not do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. However, relying on porn to receive an erection can have negative consequences as well. Perhaps you can watch porn and "dry" masturbate until you receive an erection then turn the porn off. Or, you could simply move into listening to porn first. Remember, the guideline is not set criteria. In fact, I would prefer it to avoid some form of fixed version. Human behavior is complex and it is unlikely that the same exact routine is going to effect individuals exactly the same. Thus, I think you would be fine watching, or listening to porn, but you must focus on your body.

The main point of this guideline is to increase self-awareness; to identify the underlying causes that increase your ejaculatory response. The only reason I suggest everyone to start in silence and in the dark is because there are not any distractions in that case. You will focus more attentively on your technique and you will begin to discover if you are breathing correctly, if you are squeezing your abs, tilting your pelvis forward, or any of the other various behavior that trap tension in you body and pelvic region and make corrections.

Let me know if that helps.

P. S. I could get a hand job from my partner for hours, so it seemed, but the moment she went to give me a blowjob I got too excited. Thus, the visual sensory information of seeing her gorgeous face, luscious lips, soft hair, and smooth skin get closer to my cock was sensory overload. I was fine with her stroking my cock but the moment she approached with her face it was too much. This is where the successive addition of sensory input idea came from (as well as from various scientific articles indicating this increases sensory thresholds). As you add more sensory stimuli over time, you should be able to last as long with your own hand as you can when you are getting a blowjob or having intercourse.

 

[Thrill Drill]

I know you're suggesting that I dry masturbate while watching porn until I get an erection, but I don't want to have to rely on that for the rest of my life. I'm going to follow your plan and abstain from it for a week or two and see how it goes. But 2 more questions:

1) I know you said that even if we wake up in the morning with a hard on and are tempted to jack off that we should not. However, sometimes when that happens, I'll go in the shower and edge for a while. While edging, I'm usually stroking myself 5 times a second. In your original post you discouraged us from doing that. I was just wondering if that discouragement only applies when we're doing the ejaculation-control session or at all times, like edging in the morning or right after a PE workout.

2) At the end of each session, is it okay to ejaculate or not? And if not, how many times per week do you feel is appropriate?

3) And when I am masturbating, am I allowed to stroke as fast as I want or not? Like you said we should make a goal to last a certain amount of time. If my goal is say 30 minutes, and after 5-6 sessions I'm doing 30 minutes each time I do the routine, would I also have to last at least 30 minutes before I cum during masturbation?

 

[naturesucks]

I have to ask, do you really find your frenulum is too tight at a 50% erection level?

Not super tight as in "wow, I can't even fucking stroke it", but yeah, you can feel a tightness if you try to stroke from glands to lower shaft area. It's there and it's annoying. When it's like 80%, I could pull the foreskin and unconver the glands 100%, but the tension makes it go up there again covering half the glands, which results in a pretty bad looking penis, besides the annoyance of not being able to forget about the tension and fuck as hard as you wanted without the posibility of tearing it being there.
Also, I notice the frenulum is curved. I always wondered if the source of my curvate it's because of the frenulum. Guess i'll find out after the surgery.

I have done the same (came with 50-70% erection). When I would do that I would put a tremendous amount of tension on my PC muscle and I would not be breathing correctly, if at all, and I would "crunch" my abs and lean over slightly (or I would be sitting in a chair, leaning back quite a bit). All of that combined caused me to ejaculate extremely quick. Embarrassingly quick.

As for the surgery. It is your body. You can do whatever you want to it. When it comes to surgery, I think that should be an absolute last step.

Back when I was not too great at controlling my excitement I was completely unaware of the behaviors I was performing which caused me to ejaculate so soon. In no particular order, here they are:

1) Involuntary kegels (basically telling my body I need to ejaculate)
2) Holding breath (this traps tension in your body)
3) "Curling" pelvis forward (traps tension in PC muscle and groin/lower glutes)
4) "Flexing" lower abs (traps tension in PC muscle)
5) Thinking about ejaculating too soon (your brain cannot think in opposites; this was stated in the OP)
6) Tightening legs, locking my knees (traps tension in PC/groin/glutes)
7) Eating too many simple carbs (sugary foods/drinks increase the likelihood of PreE)
8) Being nervous/negative (I was harsh on myself, put myself down, thought no woman would want to be with me, etc)

There are probably more I have discovered, but I just can't remember them right now. I had to practice controlling the above behaviors before I could last long during sex. It was tough, frustrating even. However, after I figure it out and I was willing to dedicate myself, I saw significant improvements in two weeks; even better improvements after four weeks.

If you truly know you have done everything in your power to understand your body and you still cannot control your ejaculatory response, then your next step is completely up to you. I am not going to tell you what you can and cannot do. I will tell you that I thought I tried everything then I sat down, evaluated my dedication and my understanding, and I discovered that I really had not tried all that much and I was just feeling sorry for myself and my premature ejaculation. After I got over it, I saw progress.

Good luck with whatever you choose.

I can feel my own body with detail. I know how to keep everything relaxed since I start getting the hardon. The problem is, that it's irrelevant.
In fact, if I keep everything super relaxed while im getting hard, or a girl is sucking my semi-flaccid cock, I get a freaking fast urge to cum. It's a weird feeling. Like, I know im relaxing everything, and I can feel the pleasure buildup, like if my shafts were getting filled with cum ready to explode. And at this point, if I don't stop recieving any pleasure (any kind of contact with my cock is enough, no motion needed), i'll get in the point of no return, cumming even if I wasn't 100% hard yet. The only way to avoid is is wait for at least 30 seconds or more, but it's irrelevant. Even if I wated one minute, after recieving pleasure again, it would take 10 seconds to put me there again. Sometimes during this, i've waited long enough to get the cock totally flaccid, then i started watching porn/getting the girl to work on there again, and by the time I felt i was going to get hard, i came. This means I cam totally flaccid, at the same time my dick was getting hard. Try to picture that sh*t and you'll know im fucked.

All the points you mentioned are simply a reflex to an unbearable feeling, in this situation, pleasure. The amount of pleasure I experience is just unbearable. Yeah it sounds good, but it's sucks.

I don't chose to feel like flexing my muscle (resulting in ejaculation) when I feel all that pleasure, it's simply a reaction of the body. Try touching your eyeballs. Your eyelids will close automatically. Same thing.

I find monitoring my body al controlling if my holding my breath, moving legs, flexing lower abs, relaxing PC muscle etc extremely easy. What I don't get is how are you supossed to not do any of that when you are close the PONR so fast. If I try to just ignore all those signals and try to just deal with the pleasure, it's simply not possible. I'll cum as fast.

As for the "maintaining yourself on a 7". This is impossible for me. I go from a 5 to a 9 or something. Maintaining a 7 doesn't compute with myself. You stroke the fucker for 5 seconds, and you are at 9. It's beyond my will, it just happens.

I claim you guys go to my thread and read wheelbite's posts specially.https://www.pegym.com/forums/members/wheelbite.html

 

[ByggD]

I know you're suggesting that I dry masturbate while watching porn until I get an erection, but I don't want to have to rely on that for the rest of my life. I'm going to follow your plan and abstain from it for a week or two and see how it goes. But 2 more questions:

1) I know you said that even if we wake up in the morning with a hard on and are tempted to jack off that we should not. However, sometimes when that happens, I'll go in the shower and edge for a while. While edging, I'm usually stroking myself 5 times a second. In your original post you discouraged us from doing that. I was just wondering if that discouragement only applies when we're doing the ejaculation-control session or at all times, like edging in the morning or right after a PE workout.

2) At the end of each session, is it okay to ejaculate or not? And if not, how many times per week do you feel is appropriate?

3) And when I am masturbating, am I allowed to stroke as fast as I want or not? Like you said we should make a goal to last a certain amount of time. If my goal is say 30 minutes, and after 5-6 sessions I'm doing 30 minutes each time I do the routine, would I also have to last at least 30 minutes before I cum during masturbation?

1) I will have to check how I worded that in my thread because I hope I didn't say I discourage it. What I encourage is that every time you masturbate, whether it was something planned or you just got a boner and you feel liking enjoying yourself, you should always masturbate with time on your mind. What I mean by that is if you wake up, hop in the shower and feeling like masturbating, go ahead. But, wait to ejaculate. I know it is tough. This is why I tried this routine several times throughout two years. The first time I tried, it didn't go so well because I would give into temptation. Don't do that. Whenever I masturbate now, I essentially edge every time.

2) I am somewhat torn on this issue. Part of me thinks it would be best to train your brain to experience what it is like to not ejaculate. The other part of me thinks that ejaculating every time wouldn't do any harm. There is not a definitive answer. It helped me a lot when I wouldn't come for several days. Even now, I will masturbate for an hour to two hours and I won't come. I think it might be a preference thing. Also, there is scientific evidence that suggest ejaculating every three days will reduce the chance of prostate cancer. Now, if you were to abstain from ejaculating for 10 days that isn't going to cause any harm at all if you do it for a short period of time (for a couple of months periodically throughout your life). I can tell you I edged every day for 10 days and didn't come until the tenth day and when I did come...HOLY CRAP was that the most intense orgasm ever. My body felt numb and my legs were so weak I couldn't walk for a about 15-30 seconds after. It was amazing.

Also, there is evidence that Testosterone remains the same for the first six days while abstaining from ejaculation and on the seventh day testosterone increases an incredible 175%! That is 175% more testosterone in your blood! Amazing stuff. Then on the eighth day testosterone drops down significantly. Basically, I would encourage you to ejaculate at the very least once a week and I do not think that there is any problem ejaculating every day. I mean, your testes only need 15 minutes to get the sperm count back up to normal.

3) You have it. If your goal is to last 30 minutes then you should masturbate for at least 30 minutes. Over time, you won't have to masturbate that long every time because you will have control at that point--you will decide when to contract your abs, buttocks, stop breathing, and tilt your pelvis forward (all of which lead to ejaculation because of the tension). Meaning, if your partner wants a quicky you will be able to come whenever you want. It is a great feeling. You can choose to have a quicky or you can choose to last 30 minutes or more. You will get to that point in time. As for now, you need to train your brain to last as long as you want first. The rest will come with experience.

 

[ByggD]

Not super tight as in "wow, I can't even fucking stroke it", but yeah, you can feel a tightness if you try to stroke from glands to lower shaft area. It's there and it's annoying. When it's like 80%, I could pull the foreskin and unconver the glands 100%, but the tension makes it go up there again covering half the glands, which results in a pretty bad looking penis, besides the annoyance of not being able to forget about the tension and fuck as hard as you wanted without the posibility of tearing it being there.
Also, I notice the frenulum is curved. I always wondered if the source of my curvate it's because of the frenulum. Guess i'll find out after the surgery.



I can feel my own body with detail. I know how to keep everything relaxed since I start getting the hardon. The problem is, that it's irrelevant.
In fact, if I keep everything super relaxed while im getting hard, or a girl is sucking my semi-flaccid cock, I get a freaking fast urge to cum. It's a weird feeling. Like, I know im relaxing everything, and I can feel the pleasure buildup, like if my shafts were getting filled with cum ready to explode. And at this point, if I don't stop recieving any pleasure (any kind of contact with my cock is enough, no motion needed), i'll get in the point of no return, cumming even if I wasn't 100% hard yet. The only way to avoid is is wait for at least 30 seconds or more, but it's irrelevant. Even if I wated one minute, after recieving pleasure again, it would take 10 seconds to put me there again. Sometimes during this, i've waited long enough to get the cock totally flaccid, then i started watching porn/getting the girl to work on there again, and by the time I felt i was going to get hard, i came. This means I cam totally flaccid, at the same time my dick was getting hard. Try to picture that sh*t and you'll know im fucked.

All the points you mentioned are simply a reflex to an unbearable feeling, in this situation, pleasure. The amount of pleasure I experience is just unbearable. Yeah it sounds good, but it's sucks.

I don't chose to feel like flexing my muscle (resulting in ejaculation) when I feel all that pleasure, it's simply a reaction of the body. Try touching your eyeballs. Your eyelids will close automatically. Same thing.

I find monitoring my body al controlling if my holding my breath, moving legs, flexing lower abs, relaxing PC muscle etc extremely easy. What I don't get is how are you supossed to not do any of that when you are close the PONR so fast. If I try to just ignore all those signals and try to just deal with the pleasure, it's simply not possible. I'll cum as fast.

As for the "maintaining yourself on a 7". This is impossible for me. I go from a 5 to a 9 or something. Maintaining a 7 doesn't compute with myself. You stroke the fucker for 5 seconds, and you are at 9. It's beyond my will, it just happens.

I claim you guys go to my thread and read wheelbite's posts specially.

I understand where you are coming from because that is me. When I was with the woman that I talked about in the OP, we tried several things. One of which was to stop completely until I was flaccid. The problem was, I couldn't get flaccid. Just undressing in front of her made me hard. She never saw my flaccid cock. Not once. No woman has.

As for the "reflex to an unbearable feeling." That is a non-conscious choice you are making. You have yet to tap into the underlying mechanisms. Believe me, I thought I knew my body well. Then, as I grew older, more mature, I evaluated myself differently. I would put my free hand on my PC muscle and I could feel rapid, rhythmic contractions that I didn't even know were there. After so much time, I finally had to come to the conclusion that I don't know my body as well as I thought. So, you could be right. You could understand your body as well as you possibly can. Unless you have read lots of articles, researched massage technique, and experienced your body with several different perspectives, and unless you have tapped into your brain physiology I am not willing to "buy into" your notion that you understand your body.

I still don't understand my body as well as I should and I study this stuff. I take time out of my day to learn about the 7,000 micro-expression of the human face. I learn body language signals, change in pitch of the human voice, as well as even temperature changes on the human body. I can essentially tell somebody how they are feeling at any given moment. However, it wasn't until I applied the information stored in my brain that I began to understand my own body. Now, I can identify a problem. I can tell when I am low on serotonin for example and I eat foods that will increase the chemical in my blood stream.

Long story short, humans do not come with an owner's manual. Some people discover a few of the intricacies of their body without help. Others need external information. I am one person who has had a hell of a time understanding myself. It took me about 24 years in life for me to identify several attributes and key characteristics to my individual perception of the human condition. If you truly feel like you know yourself as well as you think then I am still not going to stop you from doing what you want. In fact, it appears you have already made up your mind anyway.

 

[Drummer19]

I have started this plan you have set up, with a couple of minuscule changes. There are many things I haven't tried yet that I will be doing with this program. The fact that I am covering more bases by trying all these new things excite me. The list include:

My first time using lube, masturbating only at a slow pace, staying at a 7 the entire time, switching between positions frequently, and doing full strokes down the entire shaft. Many of the other things you mentioned I have done before but I surely have a lot of hope for this. I have reconditioned my brain tremendously already with the entire process of how I get an erection, which for me was a successful step 1.

 

[star99]

I also seem to have difficulties getting hard when im sit or laid down. Anyone here getting quick arousal or to PONR while watching porn?

 

[naturesucks]

I understand where you are coming from because that is me. When I was with the woman that I talked about in the OP, we tried several things. One of which was to stop completely until I was flaccid. The problem was, I couldn't get flaccid. Just undressing in front of her made me hard. She never saw my flaccid cock. Not once. No woman has.

As for the "reflex to an unbearable feeling." That is a non-conscious choice you are making. You have yet to tap into the underlying mechanisms. Believe me, I thought I knew my body well. Then, as I grew older, more mature, I evaluated myself differently. I would put my free hand on my PC muscle and I could feel rapid, rhythmic contractions that I didn't even know were there. After so much time, I finally had to come to the conclusion that I don't know my body as well as I thought. So, you could be right. You could understand your body as well as you possibly can. Unless you have read lots of articles, researched massage technique, and experienced your body with several different perspectives, and unless you have tapped into your brain physiology I am not willing to "buy into" your notion that you understand your body.

I still don't understand my body as well as I should and I study this stuff. I take time out of my day to learn about the 7,000 micro-expression of the human face. I learn body language signals, change in pitch of the human voice, as well as even temperature changes on the human body. I can essentially tell somebody how they are feeling at any given moment. However, it wasn't until I applied the information stored in my brain that I began to understand my own body. Now, I can identify a problem. I can tell when I am low on serotonin for example and I eat foods that will increase the chemical in my blood stream.

Long story short, humans do not come with an owner's manual. Some people discover a few of the intricacies of their body without help. Others need external information. I am one person who has had a hell of a time understanding myself. It took me about 24 years in life for me to identify several attributes and key characteristics to my individual perception of the human condition. If you truly feel like you know yourself as well as you think then I am still not going to stop you from doing what you want. In fact, it appears you have already made up your mind anyway.

This is why I talk about getting a detailed analysis done. Im pretty sure there is something lacking (or maybe too much off?). Wheelbite suggested magnesium. I feel myself moving my legs all the fucking time when im sitting. I feel a certain presure on my chest sometimes, like if I wasn't breathing correctly. My head hurts sometimes. I can't sleep when I can't to sleep (namely, if I go to sleep at 1am at a regular nonparty day, i'll be on my bed waked up, trying to disconnect, but being impossible to do so. Looking at my clock and seeing how hours have passed since last time I checked. This could bring me to 5 or 6 am easily, still awake. As a result, I wake up really late and feel tired half of the day.
Im not necessarly thinking about anything, just trying to get on dat rem time, but i just can't have a profound sleep until real late in the morning.

I claim that even if I don't think about it, sh*t is still there at a sub level. Namely, I cum too fast, years are passing and im missing a lot of great sex. Im not happy with my phisique and I want my goal physique during my early 20's, and im hitting 22 soon. I want to be that god of sex who pleases beautiful girls with easy, before im 27, because im very attracted to 16-19 year old girl age range, and I don't want to look like a paedo. This fucks with my mind because it's a time battle. There is no way to undo it. You have to be fast and efficient to get on that peak of your life, doing whatever it takes.

This doesn't mean I can't just chill. Those are just my goals regarding sex and my body. But yeah, time is such a mind fuck.

Regarding at a chemical level of things: Do you think I could have something like a testosterone excess or something? I just can't get away the thought of licking and fucking every single sexy girl I see. The only way to keep this down is if I ejaculated 4 or 5 times a day.

 

[star99]

nature im pretty much the same as you describe, There might be a testosterone excess in my body too. Im 21 and i want to abstinate till im 22 so i can start partying with girls haha what a wishful thinking but abstinence alone wont do it

 

[ByggD]

This is why I talk about getting a detailed analysis done. Im pretty sure there is something lacking (or maybe too much off?). Wheelbite suggested magnesium. I feel myself moving my legs all the fucking time when im sitting. I feel a certain presure on my chest sometimes, like if I wasn't breathing correctly. My head hurts sometimes. I can't sleep when I can't to sleep (namely, if I go to sleep at 1am at a regular nonparty day, i'll be on my bed waked up, trying to disconnect, but being impossible to do so. Looking at my clock and seeing how hours have passed since last time I checked. This could bring me to 5 or 6 am easily, still awake. As a result, I wake up really late and feel tired half of the day.
Im not necessarly thinking about anything, just trying to get on dat rem time, but i just can't have a profound sleep until real late in the morning.

I claim that even if I don't think about it, sh*t is still there at a sub level. Namely, I cum too fast, years are passing and im missing a lot of great sex. Im not happy with my phisique and I want my goal physique during my early 20's, and im hitting 22 soon. I want to be that god of sex who pleases beautiful girls with easy, before im 27, because im very attracted to 16-19 year old girl age range, and I don't want to look like a paedo. This fucks with my mind because it's a time battle. There is no way to undo it. You have to be fast and efficient to get on that peak of your life, doing whatever it takes.

This doesn't mean I can't just chill. Those are just my goals regarding sex and my body. But yeah, time is such a mind fuck.

Regarding at a chemical level of things: Do you think I could have something like a testosterone excess or something? I just can't get away the thought of licking and fucking every single sexy girl I see. The only way to keep this down is if I ejaculated 4 or 5 times a day.

If you are as stressed and anxiety ridden as I once was (so much so that I fell into a depression) then you should look at your diet. For example, I used to drink "energy" drinks and sodas every day. I do not do that anymore. There are very harmful neurophysiological occurrences that make me promote the disuse of any sugary beverage, including sodas. I will narrow down the list to serotonin because this neurotransmitter is important in the perception of reality.

You are probably aware of serotonin. This is a "happy" neurotransmitter (NT). The more (relative term) you have in your blood stream the happier you are at any given moment. When your body is depleted of serotonin you crave specific foods that will immediately increase the NT. Simple carbohydrates do just that. Sugars will almost immediately send your serotonin levels skyrocketing. Sounds great, right? I mean, increasing happiness would be a benefit, right? "Not so fast, my friend." The problem with a rapid increase in serotonin is the natural law: What goes up must come down; equal yet opposite forces. Yes, your brain is subject to the same laws as gravity, force, and celestial events. After your serotonin spike is over, you will feel depressed, ordinary, fatigued (not because of serotonin per se, but insulin), and you could feel restless searching for your happiness again. In short, sugary foods are pretty awful for you brain and the rest of your body.

Here is a reasonable blog explaining what I am talking about:
http://nutritionwonderland.com/2009/06/understanding-bodies-serotonin-connection-between-food-and-mood/

Furthermore, you sound like you are a perfectionist which is what I used to be...still am to an extent. You need to take joy in life and not worry about being the "Sex God" before you are 27. You are placing an inordinate amount of pressure on yourself which is naturally causing an increase of cortisol in your brain (cortisol is essentially the opposite of serotonin). Thus, the inference can be made logically here that when your serotonin levels decrease your cortisol levels increase (that isn't necessarily true, but I am talking about concentration, or density per unit of blood here). So, after eating that sugary food your cortisol levels are more concentrated which will, in turn, increase your appetite, thus your tolerance, for simple sugars. Basically, this means your body is becoming more reliant upon sugar to increase your happiness (addiction). This has so many negative consequences on your health I won't even begin to list them. It is scary how bad it is. But, welcome to the great USA where high fructose corn syrup is in 70% of the foods in your grocery store. Yep, bread, cereal, and even water now have high fructose corn syrup or sucrose.

Rather than create a treatise about the effects of food on your brain I will leave that up to you. Why? I can't possibly help every individual I come in contact with. It is too stressful for me. However, I have given you adequate information that will allow you to investigate foods and how they will affect your brain.

I will suggests that you start taking life less seriously. The following quote may sound pessimistic, but it really isn't. The quote is: "Why worry about life? You won't survive it anyway." I live by this saying especially when I become fixated on a negative event. Why worry about it? I am done worrying. I wasted so much time worry that I feel some form of regret at times. So, when I begin to worry I start to think of ways to have some fun. Life is far more interesting now and I spend less time worrying and more time doing. It took months for me to get to this point. But, I do not drink energy drinks or sodas anymore. And I am very strict with my diet. I eat foods that I know will make me feel better.

Ginger is a spice that I encourage you to start taking. It relaxes your body significantly. It has a profound effect on me. I have never ingested marijuana, but I have read the scientific articles that assert this plant has benefits that are simply impossible to ignore. I have friends who have taken marijuana and they tell me how they felt. I get "Ginger Candy" at a Thia grocery store and within five minutes of placing that in my mouth I feel incredibly relaxed. I feel the same as individuals who tell me what marijuana feels like in their system. I put ginger in my green tea and I feel the same effects. Ginger is your friend. Start taking it. Also, you should start taking Niacin or foods that have Niacin in them. Niacin (vitamin b-3) will also help relieve stress and anxiety. The best thing about Niacin and ginger as the fact that there are no negative consequences. They are completely natural and relatively inexpensive.

Good luck. You can sent me a personal message if you wish to know more information. I feel as though this thread is at a point in which it could become a dialogue between you and I about various other thoughts. I want to keep this thread's focus on the guideline I have created and developing a better ejaculatory response through direct behavior alone.

 

[ByggD]

One more thing, Nature. It is a little excessive to think about having sex with every attractive woman you see. Part of that is a healthy dose of hormones. Another part is your inordinate pressure you are putting upon yourself to perform. Thus, it seems like you are developing performance anxiety. You want to perform the behavior (having sex), but you are placing pressure on yourself to be a sex god, then you suggest you are not a sex god, then you avert the behavior of getting to know the woman and potentially have sex with her. You are normal in all aspects except the pressure.

Go out and have fun. Enjoy life. If you attract a woman and she wants to have sex, THAT'S GREAT!! If you don't succeed attracting a woman that day, WHO CARES!! I guarantee there will be another woman, another time, that is sexually attracted to you and you can have fun. If you don't perform well, WHO CARES!! There will be another woman, another time, that is sexually attracted to you and you can have fun. See, life is cyclical. Take advantage of that aspect. Enjoy life!

 

[theawakener7]

Byggd very good post mate what do you know on getting back your erection after cumming from having sex

 

[ByggD]

Byggd very good post mate what do you know on getting back your erection after cumming from having sex

This I don't have any experience with. I will be honest. A lot of my investigations into the scientific realms are purely selfish--either it helps me, a family member, a friend, etc. The best part is, the more life I live the more people I come in contact with and the more limitations I discover.

Thanks, bud.

I don't have this problem. I can have sex and 15 minutes later it was as if we didn't have sex. I can get going pretty quickly. Perhaps it has something to do with the glutamine I ingest. Glutamine is an amino acid that supports muscle recovery. It could also be how healthy I strive to be. I am pretty strict with my diet. I am currently trying to gain weight so there is not a whole lot to my diet really. I don't eat fast food (unless it is Subway), I stay away from sugar as much as possible (diabetes runs in my family too; more reason to steer clear of simple carbs), and I don't drink alcohol (okay, i have had three beverages total since January 1--thus, I do drink, but it is very rare). I also perform some for of cardio seven days a week and I lift weights five days a week.

Getting an erection has never been my problem. One of my girlfriends would consistently tease me in public. She would just slide her arm down my leg, put both hands on my belt, or something of the like and I would get hard. Still do. I just laugh at it now. She had a lot of fun with it . I wish I could be more help, Pegasus is a pretty knowledgeable guy. So is DemOne. Perhaps you could locate them and ask. Or just send them a personal message. Either way, good luck.

 

[naturesucks]

If you are as stressed and anxiety ridden as I once was (so much so that I fell into a depression) then you should look at your diet. For example, I used to drink "energy" drinks and sodas every day. I do not do that anymore. There are very harmful neurophysiological occurrences that make me promote the disuse of any sugary beverage, including sodas. I will narrow down the list to serotonin because this neurotransmitter is important in the perception of reality.

You are probably aware of serotonin. This is a "happy" neurotransmitter (NT). The more (relative term) you have in your blood stream the happier you are at any given moment. When your body is depleted of serotonin you crave specific foods that will immediately increase the NT. Simple carbohydrates do just that. Sugars will almost immediately send your serotonin levels skyrocketing. Sounds great, right? I mean, increasing happiness would be a benefit, right? "Not so fast, my friend." The problem with a rapid increase in serotonin is the natural law: What goes up must come down; equal yet opposite forces. Yes, your brain is subject to the same laws as gravity, force, and celestial events. After your serotonin spike is over, you will feel depressed, ordinary, fatigued (not because of serotonin per se, but insulin), and you could feel restless searching for your happiness again. In short, sugary foods are pretty awful for you brain and the rest of your body.

Here is a reasonable blog explaining what I am talking about:
http://nutritionwonderland.com/2009...s-serotonin-connection-between-food-and-mood/

Furthermore, you sound like you are a perfectionist which is what I used to be...still am to an extent. You need to take joy in life and not worry about being the "Sex God" before you are 27. You are placing an inordinate amount of pressure on yourself which is naturally causing an increase of cortisol in your brain (cortisol is essentially the opposite of serotonin). Thus, the inference can be made logically here that when your serotonin levels decrease your cortisol levels increase (that isn't necessarily true, but I am talking about concentration, or density per unit of blood here). So, after eating that sugary food your cortisol levels are more concentrated which will, in turn, increase your appetite, thus your tolerance, for simple sugars. Basically, this means your body is becoming more reliant upon sugar to increase your happiness (addiction). This has so many negative consequences on your health I won't even begin to list them. It is scary how bad it is. But, welcome to the great USA where high fructose corn syrup is in 70% of the foods in your grocery store. Yep, bread, cereal, and even water now have high fructose corn syrup or sucrose.

Rather than create a treatise about the effects of food on your brain I will leave that up to you. Why? I can't possibly help every individual I come in contact with. It is too stressful for me. However, I have given you adequate information that will allow you to investigate foods and how they will affect your brain.

I will suggests that you start taking life less seriously. The following quote may sound pessimistic, but it really isn't. The quote is: "Why worry about life? You won't survive it anyway." I live by this saying especially when I become fixated on a negative event. Why worry about it? I am done worrying. I wasted so much time worry that I feel some form of regret at times. So, when I begin to worry I start to think of ways to have some fun. Life is far more interesting now and I spend less time worrying and more time doing. It took months for me to get to this point. But, I do not drink energy drinks or sodas anymore. And I am very strict with my diet. I eat foods that I know will make me feel better.

Ginger is a spice that I encourage you to start taking. It relaxes your body significantly. It has a profound effect on me. I have never ingested marijuana, but I have read the scientific articles that assert this plant has benefits that are simply impossible to ignore. I have friends who have taken marijuana and they tell me how they felt. I get "Ginger Candy" at a Thia grocery store and within five minutes of placing that in my mouth I feel incredibly relaxed. I feel the same as individuals who tell me what marijuana feels like in their system. I put ginger in my green tea and I feel the same effects. Ginger is your friend. Start taking it. Also, you should start taking Niacin or foods that have Niacin in them. Niacin (vitamin b-3) will also help relieve stress and anxiety. The best thing about Niacin and ginger as the fact that there are no negative consequences. They are completely natural and relatively inexpensive.

Good luck. You can sent me a personal message if you wish to know more information. I feel as though this thread is at a point in which it could become a dialogue between you and I about various other thoughts. I want to keep this thread's focus on the guideline I have created and developing a better ejaculatory response through direct behavior alone.

Thanks, very nice post.

You talked about USA diet, and I live in Spain. I used to drink coke, and eat chips and all that garbage. I have been absolutely clean for over a year or more. I eat oats with milk, and maybe some bread with olive oil, no cookies or anything. Usually I eat a nice salad everyday with tomatoes, peppers etc with the food. Food is whatever my mom cooks, and it's good stuff. I don't think im having a shitty diet. Of course i've read that lack of certain chemicals can happen even if you have a very good diet, that only can be covered throught supplements. Read my thread about what wheelbite said on magnesium. I was about to buy some supps that he suggested, but then I readed of the dangers of having an excess of magnesium in your body (in case I already have enough) so I was kinda scared about it and will only start buying whatever I need when I get a proper analysis done. I should be looking that now. I think im going to need to pay for it because i don't know if social security does that kind of very detailed analysis that include magnesium levels and so on.

I should do some fucking exercise tho. I've been on a sedentary period lately. I want to join the gym again and get serious about it.
By sex god, besides not cumming fast, I meant phyisque wise. Having a body that all hot girls wouldn't resist is key.
Something like this would do (no homo):

I always keep a low bodyfat naturally, I just need to put on the muscle.

I have mates that look like that, and they get amazing girls by just basically walking by. I look good on the face but I still lack the body.

We can continue on private messages if you want to not derrail the thread.

edit: Forgot to add. I don't smoke, don't drink alcohol or do any drugs.

 

[star99]

I also have some worries but i screwed up when i was young and its not an excuse to be depressed. You guys are giving out good tips to nature.

 

[Thrill Drill]

Alright dude just finished my first session with this. I have to say that once I was doing it, I finally truly understood what you are trying to accomplish. With that being said, the session itself could of gone a lot better. I went out to Home Depot (pretty quick walk from my house) to use their public washrooms because I knew it was the only place I would get any privacy and total silence. I did. I also got myself one of my old long sleeve shirts that I tied around my eyes and ears to block further noise/be in complete darkness. It took me a good 5 minutes or so just to get a decent erection, which was not good considering 5 minutes was how long I wanted the whole thing to last. I started timing once I got it up. The second I stopped viciously beating my dick and started to go slow, my erection started to fade and soon was gone. I wasn't completely flaccid, but it was down to about 50%, if not less. I tried working with that for a while, trying to get my arousal back up. I have the scale memorized. I concentrated on "being one with my dick", and continued stroking. No luck. So I started jerking off fast again. In a while, I was back up to 90-100% erection. Started slow-stroking again, and same thing happens. I don't know whether or not I've ruined myself with porn because honestly, I was turned on that much at all. Even when I watch porn, if its the same old thing, I won't be aroused. I'm going to try again in 2 days but any feedback you might have will be welcomed.

 

[ByggD]

Alright dude just finished my first session with this. I have to say that once I was doing it, I finally truly understood what you are trying to accomplish. With that being said, the session itself could of gone a lot better. I went out to Home Depot (pretty quick walk from my house) to use their public washrooms because I knew it was the only place I would get any privacy and total silence. I did. I also got myself one of my old long sleeve shirts that I tied around my eyes and ears to block further noise/be in complete darkness. It took me a good 5 minutes or so just to get a decent erection, which was not good considering 5 minutes was how long I wanted the whole thing to last. I started timing once I got it up. The second I stopped viciously beating my dick and started to go slow, my erection started to fade and soon was gone. I wasn't completely flaccid, but it was down to about 50%, if not less. I tried working with that for a while, trying to get my arousal back up. I have the scale memorized. I concentrated on "being one with my dick", and continued stroking. No luck. So I started jerking off fast again. In a while, I was back up to 90-100% erection. Started slow-stroking again, and same thing happens. I don't know whether or not I've ruined myself with porn because honestly, I was turned on that much at all. Even when I watch porn, if its the same old thing, I won't be aroused. I'm going to try again in 2 days but any feedback you might have will be welcomed.

I think you are alright. You are experiencing a new kind of arousal right now--self-arousal. Thus, your body isn't used to it and it may take some time. But, just knowing that you couldn't keep an erection should be a good cue for you. It asserts that your PRE-E is completely physiological.

You can get an erection quick with a partner I assume and you can't get one in the washroom of a home depot by yourself. This makes sense and it is called contextual cognition. Your brain understands how to operate based on certain environmental cues. The washroom of a home depot isn't the evironmental cue to get, and keep, an erection so your brain is struggling with this new behavior in a relatively well understood environment. Also, your brain understands that with a partner you are to get aroused. Context is key. The best thing about it is the fact that you can train your brain to understand your environment and react differently. It will take hard work because at this point in your life your brain has very strong associations with an erection and when/where they are supposed to happen. All you must do is train your brain to react to the environment differently. It will work. It has worked. It is time to utilize the capacity of your brain to understand the environment and to use it to your advantage. You are well on your way.

As for the porn thing. Perhaps you could print a picture of a nude woman, bring it with you. Before you start to masturbate you take a look at the picture, focus on it, imagine what it would be like to please this woman, then after you have got an erection you could put the picture away but maintain your focus on pleasing that woman. This should help you maintain an erection. The only problem that could occur is if you have trouble focusing on your body and pleasing that woman as well.

Exercise your imagination. It will work wonders. You are well on your way and you are giving it an honest shot. Keep the determination and the dedication and results will surely follow.

 

[ByggD]

I have receive a couple of messages from individuals who using fleshlights. Here is my suggestion (this can also be utilized for anyone who wishes to do this):

Instead of increasing your duration of masturbation each day, you should focus on simply increasing duration over a longer stretch of time. What I mean is, perhaps it is better to increase the amount of time you are masturbating every five days rather than every day. This makes sense as you are creating "mini goals" and you will only increase time spent masturbating after you have passed the goal. The following guideline is to illustrate what I am talking about:

Days 1-5 work on consistently lasting 5 minutes
Days 6-10 work on consistently lasting 10 minutes
Days 11-15 work on consistently lasting 15 minutes
Days 16-20 work on consistently lasting 20 minutes
Etcetera

Basically you could be lasting up to 30 minutes in 30 days. That sounds like one hell of a deal to me.

I like this quite a lot better than increasing the time each day. Perhaps this is why I struggled with my dedication to the routine posted in the original post when I tried it the first two times and I was not successful until the third bout. This should be helpful and I am guessing many people will not see this post as there have been many comments to this thread. Thus, I am going to post an addendum to the original post that way this "mini goal" idea will get more views and could perhaps reduce attrition. Maybe I am being overly confident. Eh, so long as people are seeing progress it won't matter to me.

 

[ByggD]

I also have some worries but i screwed up when i was young and its not an excuse to be depressed. You guys are giving out good tips to nature.

My tip is to stop thinking of past events that didn't go as planned as "skrew[ing] up." That is a negative thought process that almost certainly causes your brain to react with "negative" chemicals.

View life as a learning experience. If something didn't go the way you planned think of ways to improve that scenario in the future. For example, there was a woman in the coffee shop the other night that I thought was simply stunning. Perhaps my personal perfect 10. I have been staying at friend's apartments/houses and I currently do not have a job. Thus, I felt as though I didn't have anything to offer in terms of real life value. So, I didn't say a word. I kept to myself and I just kept reading. Still after bout a week later I wish I would have said something. Basically, I made up her mind for her. I didn't even give her a chance to get to know me, my situation, my thoughts, hopes, desires, and dreams. I feel a little sense of regret. However, rather than focusing on that regret I have focused on the future encounter which I will certainly experience again with another woman. Rather than remain silent, I am going to go talk to a woman I think is very attractive. If that opportunity presents itself once more I will take advantage of it.

Learn from your experiences and strive to not make the same mistakes in the future. You will see incredible progress in your life and you will live happier. That, I can guarantee.

 

[Thrill Drill]

I think you are alright. You are experiencing a new kind of arousal right now--self-arousal. Thus, your body isn't used to it and it may take some time. But, just knowing that you couldn't keep an erection should be a good cue for you. It asserts that your PRE-E is completely physiological.

You can get an erection quick with a partner I assume and you can't get one in the washroom of a home depot by yourself. This makes sense and it is called contextual cognition. Your brain understands how to operate based on certain environmental cues. The washroom of a home depot isn't the evironmental cue to get, and keep, an erection so your brain is struggling with this new behavior in a relatively well understood environment. Also, your brain understands that with a partner you are to get aroused. Context is key. The best thing about it is the fact that you can train your brain to understand your environment and react differently. It will take hard work because at this point in your life your brain has very strong associations with an erection and when/where they are supposed to happen. All you must do is train your brain to react to the environment differently. It will work. It has worked. It is time to utilize the capacity of your brain to understand the environment and to use it to your advantage. You are well on your way.

As for the porn thing. Perhaps you could print a picture of a nude woman, bring it with you. Before you start to masturbate you take a look at the picture, focus on it, imagine what it would be like to please this woman, then after you have got an erection you could put the picture away but maintain your focus on pleasing that woman. This should help you maintain an erection. The only problem that could occur is if you have trouble focusing on your body and pleasing that woman as well.

Exercise your imagination. It will work wonders. You are well on your way and you are giving it an honest shot. Keep the determination and the dedication and results will surely follow.

Thanks a lot buddy that helps a lot! I think this is important so I'm going to tell you. After I got home, I got into my shower. I started stroking myself and in about 5 minutes time got an erection. This time, instead of doing the slow strokes, I did relatively fast strokes (about 3 per second?), and I noticed that I was able to maintain my erection. Also, I was able to keep myself at that "7" that you said we should strive to remain at. I kept telling myself that it'll be awesome once I can have sex for literally hours on end without cumming and the woman can't walk straight the next day (lol). I motivated myself by telling myself it's going to be so awesome when women are literally lining up outside of my dorm room next year when I go to College, just begging to get a piece of me. At the same time, I focused on my breathing and kept it under control. The second I felt my erection starting to slightly fade, I held a kegel and put more emphasis on stroking my head (by far the most sensitize area for me). As I started becoming more aroused, when I felt I was getting close to a level 8 or 9, I started taking longer breaths, held a reverse-kegel and consciounsly, very lightly, whispered to myself to get back down to a level 7. To do that, I found it helpful to visualize a thermometer-like device numbered "1,3,5,7,9,10" at different points. The red line inside was my arousel. I told myself to lower it and visualized it going down (similar to how the red line in a thermometer goes down as the temperature decreases). To my surprise, I was able to keep going for 5 minutes, after which I needed to get out of the shower because my parents were yelling at me. I wasn't doing the 3-5 mid-shaft strokes/1-2 full strokes like you said so I'll have to fix that next time I go back to Home Depot (tomorrow). So basically, what I'm wondering is if you think it's alright if I stroke myself slightly faster, or do you think that's detrimental to the purpose of the routine, which is self-arousal. I don't want to rely on a picture of a naked woman; I'd much rather get used to using my imagination. Also, I'm 18 and a virgin. I don't know how I would react in a different environment if a naked woman was standing infront of me.