ByggD's Guide to Controlling Your Ejaculation Response
- Thread starter ByggD
- Start date
This I don't have any experience with. I will be honest. A lot of my investigations into the scientific realms are purely selfish--either it helps me, a family member, a friend, etc. The best part is, the more life I live the more people I come in contact with and the more limitations I discover.
Thanks, bud.
I don't have this problem. I can have sex and 15 minutes later it was as if we didn't have sex. I can get going pretty quickly. Perhaps it has something to do with the glutamine I ingest. Glutamine is an amino acid that supports muscle recovery. It could also be how healthy I strive to be. I am pretty strict with my diet. I am currently trying to gain weight so there is not a whole lot to my diet really. I don't eat fast food (unless it is Subway), I stay away from sugar as much as possible (diabetes runs in my family too; more reason to steer clear of simple carbs), and I don't drink alcohol (okay, i have had three beverages total since January 1--thus, I do drink, but it is very rare). I also perform some for of cardio seven days a week and I lift weights five days a week.
Getting an erection has never been my problem. One of my girlfriends would consistently tease me in public. She would just slide her arm down my leg, put both hands on my belt, or something of the like and I would get hard. Still do. I just laugh at it now. She had a lot of fun with it. I wish I could be more help, Pegasus is a pretty knowledgeable guy. So is DemOne. Perhaps you could locate them and ask. Or just send them a personal message. Either way, good luck.
Careful with SUBWAY.... Its all Highly processed food that causes diabetes and cancer. All their bread has high fructose corn syrup and the tuna is more mayo than tuna. Read up on it. Might as well go to McDonalds.
Any session where you learned something about your self, your response to stimulus and arousal was a very valuable session indeed.
Did you start slowing down because you felt you were close to PONR?
I also, personally, think any session where you stimulate and don't ejaculate is good at training your brain to separate the two.
Did you start slowing down because you felt you were close to PONR?
I also, personally, think any session where you stimulate and don't ejaculate is good at training your brain to separate the two.
I guess this was the thread that triggered me to think about NLP and premature ejaculation, specifically, thinking positive thoughts rather then negative (i.e. don't think 'don't cum' think of long enjoyable sex).
The other day, I struck on a mental image that I found helpful, so I figured I'd share it. I took a meditation course where the instructor told us to imagine our thoughts as bubbles that float up to the surface of a stream, and can be viewed, and then float away. I found that useful, so I tried to come up with something that would be helpful for me in this scenario.
I somehow thought of a flat landscape, with a train track heading directly ahead all the way to the horizon. And I imagined one of those handcar/pumpcar things, the ones that have sort of a see-saw thing that one or more men pump to make go moving along that track.
I found that really helpful, I've used it since during edging sessions. Its sort of a very calm, peaceful, relaxing image, it speaks to a destination that is out of sight and a long trip, simply going down the track, and frankly in retrospect the fact in involves pumping calmly with an expectation of pumping for the indefinite future ... well it helped me. Maybe it will help some of you.
The other day, I struck on a mental image that I found helpful, so I figured I'd share it. I took a meditation course where the instructor told us to imagine our thoughts as bubbles that float up to the surface of a stream, and can be viewed, and then float away. I found that useful, so I tried to come up with something that would be helpful for me in this scenario.
I somehow thought of a flat landscape, with a train track heading directly ahead all the way to the horizon. And I imagined one of those handcar/pumpcar things, the ones that have sort of a see-saw thing that one or more men pump to make go moving along that track.
I found that really helpful, I've used it since during edging sessions. Its sort of a very calm, peaceful, relaxing image, it speaks to a destination that is out of sight and a long trip, simply going down the track, and frankly in retrospect the fact in involves pumping calmly with an expectation of pumping for the indefinite future ... well it helped me. Maybe it will help some of you.
Ok there are a couple of things I need to say...
I am on day 14 today and so far everything has been a great success. There are only a couple of things I have added to this great program and I can explain later if anyone wants.
Before starting this program I could already masturbate without any aid and last as long as I want. However, with any kind of sexual sounds, pictures of naked girls, or porn videos I would go straight to a 8 or 9 boner and it just couldn't go down unless I waited about 60seconds. Also I have NEVER used any kind of lube before. The only lube I have ever felt was a woman's vagina.
On day 1 the lube on my dick was a exciting change. I had a hard time trying to stay at a 7, but it was not nearly as hard as I imagined it would be. By the end of the week, I was pro at masturbating with lube. On day 6 I messed up and ejaculated off schedule. I really didn't want to redo that day but when I was able to get back up and redo it with ease I felt much more confident over having control over my arousal.
Between days 4 and 5 I had sex with my girlfriend. It was a success because I was able to relax. The moment I penetrated I though to myself "this feels exactly like the lube! No way... So that means I can do this!" I only lasted about 8 min and didn't go too fast, but this was a great success in my book.
Week 2 was exciting too. It was the first time I ever just listened to porn. At the beginning I was able to consistently keep an 8 erection without it going to a 9, but by the end of this week I mastered it, being able to stay at a 7. Sometimes I would even get to a 6 and have to thrust myself thinking I was thrusting in a vagina really fast to get to a 7. At that moment is when I realized that that is probably how the porn stars do it. Even if it is not, it is boosting my confidence.
I know Byddg said that he is not sure how beneficial listening to porn would be for this program. It helped me an ungodly amount! Anyone who is intensely aroused by the sounds of a women screaming and orgasming needs to include this.
I actually learned how to breath really heavy and contract my stomach by listening to the porn stars and mimicking. I was learning prior to this how to deep breathe to relax, but this got me to perfect it and subconsciously memorize it when I masturbate now.
As you know day 13 is the day where you can look at 3 porn pictures for 10min each. I was nervous beforehand that I wouldn't be able to control my arousal. I pep-talked myself with confidence and went for it. Everything worked out beautifully. Perfect control. Let me add I have NEVER been able to look at porn and keep a 7 erection with consistent masturbation.
I am making more progress than I have in months. I have the confidence to look at porn tomorrow for day 15 and completely nail it, and even if I don't I know I will be able to soon.
Good luck to anyone trying this out. It is worth it.
I am on day 14 today and so far everything has been a great success. There are only a couple of things I have added to this great program and I can explain later if anyone wants.
Before starting this program I could already masturbate without any aid and last as long as I want. However, with any kind of sexual sounds, pictures of naked girls, or porn videos I would go straight to a 8 or 9 boner and it just couldn't go down unless I waited about 60seconds. Also I have NEVER used any kind of lube before. The only lube I have ever felt was a woman's vagina.
On day 1 the lube on my dick was a exciting change. I had a hard time trying to stay at a 7, but it was not nearly as hard as I imagined it would be. By the end of the week, I was pro at masturbating with lube. On day 6 I messed up and ejaculated off schedule. I really didn't want to redo that day but when I was able to get back up and redo it with ease I felt much more confident over having control over my arousal.
Between days 4 and 5 I had sex with my girlfriend. It was a success because I was able to relax. The moment I penetrated I though to myself "this feels exactly like the lube! No way... So that means I can do this!" I only lasted about 8 min and didn't go too fast, but this was a great success in my book.
Week 2 was exciting too. It was the first time I ever just listened to porn. At the beginning I was able to consistently keep an 8 erection without it going to a 9, but by the end of this week I mastered it, being able to stay at a 7. Sometimes I would even get to a 6 and have to thrust myself thinking I was thrusting in a vagina really fast to get to a 7. At that moment is when I realized that that is probably how the porn stars do it. Even if it is not, it is boosting my confidence.
I know Byddg said that he is not sure how beneficial listening to porn would be for this program. It helped me an ungodly amount! Anyone who is intensely aroused by the sounds of a women screaming and orgasming needs to include this.
I actually learned how to breath really heavy and contract my stomach by listening to the porn stars and mimicking. I was learning prior to this how to deep breathe to relax, but this got me to perfect it and subconsciously memorize it when I masturbate now.
As you know day 13 is the day where you can look at 3 porn pictures for 10min each. I was nervous beforehand that I wouldn't be able to control my arousal. I pep-talked myself with confidence and went for it. Everything worked out beautifully. Perfect control. Let me add I have NEVER been able to look at porn and keep a 7 erection with consistent masturbation.
I am making more progress than I have in months. I have the confidence to look at porn tomorrow for day 15 and completely nail it, and even if I don't I know I will be able to soon.
Good luck to anyone trying this out. It is worth it.
ByggD Thanks so much for all you info and amazing research.
I was wondering if you think that using a Fleshlight STU (a toy which replicates a real vagina and is designed for "stamina training" and is much MUCH more realistic than a hand) would be a good idea? It seems to me like it would as the stimulation is incredible.
Thanks again
Cheers
I was wondering if you think that using a Fleshlight STU (a toy which replicates a real vagina and is designed for "stamina training" and is much MUCH more realistic than a hand) would be a good idea? It seems to me like it would as the stimulation is incredible.
Thanks again
Cheers
You are very welcome.
Using the STU "can" be beneficial. However, it is a lot of stimulation. I know, I have one. I would encourage you to introduce that later on. Maintain the successive accession mantra. It works with almost every learned behavior in life (i.e. shooting a basketball, driving a car, riding a bike, learning a recipe, writing an essay, preparing for an exam...I could go on). I think you should avoid using the STU for the first 21 days. You can always add stimuli, the routine gets tougher and your motivation is more likely to decrease if you set goals that are too difficult. Shelve the STU for three weeks, then introduce the thing. You may have to create a new goal because of the increased stimuli the STU provides, but this is the best way to go about it.
For example, let's say you are at 30min total in three weeks and you decide to introduce the STU. Instead of shooting for 30 minutes again you need to reassess. You have now added a physical stimulus that is likely to decrease your lasting time. Thus, you need to shoot for 15 minutes on day 22-25. This isn't regression, this a completely different experience now. On days 26-29, extend your limitation to 20 minutes; 25 minutes on days 30-33; and so on. Because you have 360 degrees of stimulation on the entire length of your penis when fully inserted into the STU you have to account for that. Be reasonable with your goals and you will be fine. You are well on your way.
Im pretty ready to claim that they probably not. Again: I know people who are beasts at bed (no homo, I just know because i've heard girls that they've fucked talking about it). Girls would talk about how much he lasted and how hard he went and so on.
I can guarantee you, my mates don't even know what the fuck a PC muscle is, not even a Kegel. Some people simply have it by default, they don't have problems it. They never had to think about it. This is simply because their dicks didn't contain has many nerve density fibers compared to the one of the super premature ejaculator like mine, probably with chemicals on their bodies being different too. Mental factor is smaller than most people believe on here. The urge to cum simply arises within your body, it is not a matter of choice, it's just your own body acting with what he got. You can't do nothing about being always on a 9 with what you've explained if your chemicals in your body and your nerve receptors on your penis are the way they are. You can't change the software without changing the hardware, so to speak. This is why im hoping, frenulum surgery enhances my sexual stamina a lot, because it makes sense to do so. If it's not enough, then i'll have to get fully circumsized.
I feel ur pain cause I'm not circumsized and have thought about it and my frenulum is very sensitive to I just can't go with having my dick cut with no sex or masturbation for a month
Hi Byggd, ive started this routing last night in an attempt to cure my problem. Yesterday I was doing the 3 minute masturbation in darkness, however I can start at fully erect, but then couldn't stay 100% erect, maybe 60-70% without kegalling or thinking about some hot, will this change, will I bet able to get 100%?
Yeah, this happens to me a lot. If I don't kegel, my dick doesnt get filled up completely and doesn't look as good, specially the glands, and specially since being not circumsized keeps the glans smaller than circumsized guys. If I kegel you can tell the glans get real big, and my cock gets thick. Bad news is I'll cum even faster doing so. But even if I keep it relaxed all the time, the PONR comes as fast.
You are willing to claim that guys who can last long didn't learn, whether consciously or not, how to last longer in bed? Interesting. If this is true, then you view prolonging the urge to ejaculate as an innate response, which contradicts evolutionary biology. And, let's face it, evolution is as much a fact as gravitational theory.
Also, let's get to your mindset now. You wish you were a sex god, underwear model; you claim to know everything you could possibly know about your body and you consume the calories and micronutrients that promote longevity and an overall healthy lifestyle which leads to a disposition that is incredibly understanding. So, why are you here? Why aren't you out writing books and making money if you know so much. If I knew that much I would certainly be out promoting myself and making money.
Also, I have already told you several times how I feel about surgery and yourself. The best thing about this life is you get to choose how to live it. If someone wants to get a tattoo and a piercing on their cock I don't care. Choose to live life how you want. However, when you comment on a thread of mine that is related to improving self-perception, ejaculatory response, and thinking more positively I am going to care and respond because the goal is to offer advice. You get to choose whether you accept that advice or not. There we are again, you get to choose what to do.
Let's also point out your negative perception of the world. It is blatant by your moniker "naturesucks." How positive
. You say, "You can't do nothing about always being on a 9 with what you've explained if your chemicals..." Provide me evidence that says humans are unable to consume certain ingredients and it doesn't effect the chemical make-up of their blood stream. Explain to all of us how this is true because you are the only one making this claim. When you make a claim with me, you must provide evidence. When I make a claim, others should require evidence as well. You then go on to say, "You can't change the software without changing the hardware." It is blatantly clear that you have made up your mind. I knew you had by the words you used when you first arrived. I even told you back then I knew you had already made up your mind.With the human body, we must change the chemical make-up and thought process (software) before we see any changes in physical attributes (hardware). This is true with almost every behavior that leads to physical change (i.e. maturation, body building, learning new material--protein synthesis, learning to play an instrument--stronger neurons, learning to kick, shoot, throw a ball, I could go on and on). The point is, you have chosen to ignore the biological aspects and the dedication and hard work it takes to see progress. Game over. You were done before you started. Let us know how surgery goes.
To everyone reading this, please note that this guideline is NOT guaranteed to help you. It will most likely help you, but if it doesn't you need to then make a change in your eating habits. I have already provided some information about simple carbs and what they do to your brain. But, I can't possibly help everyone. I don't have the time to help each individual. However, don't go into this thinking it won't work. If you do, you have already set yourself up for failure. Many people expect failure with difficult situations in life and because of that a large portion of those people avert the behavior altogether. It is a part of the human condition, but don't let your worrisome mind control the outcomes of the events in your life. Give yourself and honest chance to succeed here, and in other aspects of your unique human experience. It can be difficult. Hell, I already admitted that it took me three rounds of this guideline to finally see results. It took me two years to discover that I didn't give myself an honest chance. You are certainly welcome to make the same mistakes I did, but I would prefer people to save those two years of their life. Most importantly, go out and have fun. You only get one life and spending your time worrying isn't going to be fun.
Also, keep in mind, the quicker the fix the more likely the negative consequences. Below is list that is useful.
1) Surgery
2) Herbal intake--I have already mentioned ginger/capsaicin
3) Diet change--you know how easy it to limit consumption of simple carbs...very tough, especially if you are not feeling very happy
4) Lifestyle change--the negative consequences here are that you will have to give up some of your old habits...which can be incredibly difficult to change.
As everyone can see, I have only suggested the lowest risk and highest reward method (Lifestyle change). You have to change the way you perceive ejaculation and practice lasting longer. The best thing about it is the fact that this will cost you nothing other than time. Surgery is going to cost a lot of money, thus time, and it is going to cost more time as you recover from surgery. Provided that surgery was successful, of course.
Also, keep in mind, the quicker the fix the more likely the negative consequences. Below is list that is useful.
1) Surgery
2) Herbal intake--I have already mentioned ginger/capsaicin
3) Diet change--you know how easy it to limit consumption of simple carbs...very tough, especially if you are not feeling very happy
4) Lifestyle change--the negative consequences here are that you will have to give up some of your old habits...which can be incredibly difficult to change.
As everyone can see, I have only suggested the lowest risk and highest reward method (Lifestyle change). You have to change the way you perceive ejaculation and practice lasting longer. The best thing about it is the fact that this will cost you nothing other than time. Surgery is going to cost a lot of money, thus time, and it is going to cost more time as you recover from surgery. Provided that surgery was successful, of course.
The best thing I can tell you is that your PRE-E is most likely psychological. If it were because of sensitivity then you would not be able to last three minutes at all. The fact that you start to go flaccid should make you feel at least a little relieved. You can beat this. It is all in your mind. Once a woman comes into the picture you get extremely excited. Somehow, you need to find out how to control that excitement. You are well on your way to overcoming this limitation.
Perhaps what you could do is have a dim light on. Maybe a nightlight in the bathroom or something like that. This will give you enough to see your own body. Keep in mind, this is only a guideline. There are so many things that could effect your arousal that it is difficult to give concrete criteria. It is somewhat like the penis exercises. You will have to find what works best for you.
Also, you are more than welcome to think of an attractive woman. Using your imagination is a great exercise. However, you must also pay close attention to your body. The purpose of being in darkness is so you can concentrate on your body. You are trying to figure out what is causing you to get excited so quickly. Obviously we know the sight of a partner laying naked on a bed while you are about to penetrate her is pretty exciting. But, there are physiological responses occurring in your own body that will tell us what you need to work on.
I kegel a lot when I am really excited. I have to focus on not kegeling sometimes. I also breath more shallow or I stop breathing altogether. This will trap tension in your body. I have also tilted my pelvis forward which causes more tension. I have flexed my lower abs or I have bent forward a bit. All of this increase the likelihood of ejaculating to quickly. Hopefully this helps.
U know what, ur absolutely correct! Years of watching porn and masturbating has taken away arousal from my imagination, getting excited just by thought should be where u want to be! I can definitely last longer on my back where the tension is minimal, but in a missionary position 3-5mins max! However, today After i finished JP's PE exercises, I went on to do this in the dark again, 3-5 times from head to mid shaft, then 1-2 times whole shaft, (2 seconds a stroke) obv the glans is where the sensitivity is, however i went on for about 6mins, and changed to 5-8 strokes, everytime i got to an 8, i told me self "come on get down to a 7" and it worked! i went on till 10mins and then stopped (as i had ejaculated yday)..... I hoping this is the first step to a longer lasting dick! However i wonder if i started going quicker would i have cum......
Let's also point out your negative perception of the world. It is blatant by your moniker "naturesucks." How positive
With the human body, we must change the chemical make-up and thought process (software) before we see any changes in physical attributes (hardware). This is true with almost every behavior that leads to physical change (i.e. maturation, body building, learning new material--protein synthesis, learning to play an instrument--stronger neurons, learning to kick, shoot, throw a ball, I could go on and on). The point is, you have chosen to ignore the biological aspects and the dedication and hard work it takes to see progress. Game over. You were done before you started. Let us know how surgery goes.
About it being innate. I meant that everyone who I know has never had any problems with it, and we all watched porn as a kid. Everyone did. So I don't get how some people on this site talk about porn fucking your sh*t up as if it was a clear fact, because everyone I know has watched porn and can fuck no problems.
Yeah, the proof is on my thread "I don't know what to do anymore". Read wheelbite posts. You can't reprogram your brain if you are lacking certain chemicals, so you'll learn supplements at least. Just thinking positive and training "how not to cum" is not going to magically fix anything unless you have the proper chemical balance in you first. This of course, hoping that your penis has not an insane amount of nerve density specially at the frenulum. The analogy is for example: Some people get born with lack of feel, tact on their fingertips. Like they can't feel anything because they nerve responses on there are lacking. Now you could tell this person to focus on feeling what he is touching, but it would't work because the hardware is fucked from the start. Now imagine the opposite at the penis: You recieve a shitload of pleasure. It's not my fault that it's not manageable. Everything else you said about denying evolution is nonsense and I don't know where you got that from.
And yes, nature sucks. Don't make me post images of deformed fetuses.
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Nope, free if you live in developed countries with health care. Also if you don't want to wait a couple of months, you can pay for it if you got the money, and get it done tomorrow.
PS: The surgery is a requeriment if you have a tight frenulum like it or not. It's not going to get better magically.
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Hi !
So I'm still working on this program since the beggining of the summer, I'll post a review when I'll be done with it !
For the moment I'm at week 4 of the program, I thrust my hand while watching porn, but really slowly, as you recommend in your first post ByggD (3sec each stroke). I'm on my knees or I'm standing. I do that for 1'25h now and try to increase each session with 5 more minutes. So far I'm really happy with my improvements but I was wondering what I should do in order to improve even more :
- keep going on that path, and by that I mean only increasing the duration of each session;
- increase the speed of my strokes (as recommended in one of Pegasus post if I'm not mistaken) to get closer to the sensations of a real intercourse;
- increase the amount of mid-strokes (I'm currently on a 3 or 4 mid/2full basis);
- something else ?
Thanks for your help, and sorry for my bad English I know that I have to improve this almost as much as my sexual skills ^^
So I'm still working on this program since the beggining of the summer, I'll post a review when I'll be done with it !
For the moment I'm at week 4 of the program, I thrust my hand while watching porn, but really slowly, as you recommend in your first post ByggD (3sec each stroke). I'm on my knees or I'm standing. I do that for 1'25h now and try to increase each session with 5 more minutes. So far I'm really happy with my improvements but I was wondering what I should do in order to improve even more :
- keep going on that path, and by that I mean only increasing the duration of each session;
- increase the speed of my strokes (as recommended in one of Pegasus post if I'm not mistaken) to get closer to the sensations of a real intercourse;
- increase the amount of mid-strokes (I'm currently on a 3 or 4 mid/2full basis);
- something else ?
Thanks for your help, and sorry for my bad English I know that I have to improve this almost as much as my sexual skills ^^
