Let’s face it, when it comes to the fairer sex, well… we can be a little confusing.  🙂

In this special edition of Ask Kimberly, I answer some of the most common questions men have for women. Hopefully this clears up some of the mystery – at least just a little.

Do you have a question or a situation you’d like me to weigh in on? Send me a direct message at forum name – KMWylie . As always, if your question is chosen for a post, your identity will be completely anonymous. So, don’t be shy! There are no dumb questions!

Check out our other Ask Kimberly questions here —

Ask Kimberly

NOTE: The answers below are based on my own opinion and conversations I’ve had with female friends. Not all women are the same – in fact, we’re all completely unique!

1. How often do women lie about having an orgasm? And, have you ever lied about having an orgasm?
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   Statistics vary greatly on how often women lie about having an orgasm, but some studies report more than 80% of women have faked their orgasm. There are several reasons why we may do this. No fault of your own, we may simply be tired or stressed out and realize an orgasm just isn’t in the cards at that time, and understanding men are very goal-oriented, we just want to alleviate your stress. Sometimes we fake it because, well… the sex just isn’t very good, and we want it to be over with.
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2. What’s the most important quality in a man?
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   When we’re talking about long-term partners, the top qualities in a man women are looking for include: caring, sense of humor, intelligence, confidence, devoted, empathetic, and great communicator. Notice, looks and money aren’t on that list. Why? Because although looks and money may attract a woman at first (especially superficial ones), no woman ever truly fell in love with a man because he had money or was good looking. On the contrary, women fall in love with men who are not traditionally physically attractive and are broke, every single day, because they have the qualities I list above.
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3. What’s the perfect size penis? How big of a penis is too big and how small of a penis is too small?
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   This is probably the question I get most often – both privately and on the forums. There is no perfect penis size. It’s more about what you DO with your penis, than its size. Rock-hard erection quality, solid stamina and good technique can take a below average-sized penis and make it a rockstar! Poor EQ, no stamina and poor technique can make even the biggest dick a dud in the sack. As far as how big is too big? I, personally, don’t like my cervix hit – so, if you’re so big that’s happening, and you’re not skilled enough to know how to prevent that from happening – that’s too big, in my books. However, there are some women who enjoy that cringing pain. A micropenis (under 3″ erect) would probably be in my personal category of “too small.” Now, there are lesbians around the world that will tell you that you don’t need a penis at all to have a satisfying sex life, so even a man with a micropenis can make up for it in other ways. Check out my article on vagina size and my article on where the G-spot is, to learn more about female anatomy, to get some perspective.
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4. What are some of your major turn-offs?
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   My biggest turn-off includes poor, personal hygiene. Greasy hair, dirty fingernails, bad breath, body odor, and/or dirty clothes… yeah, I’m not going to be turned on. Negative attitude ranks right up there too. If you’re constantly bitching about something (work, other people, the government, life in general), I’m also going to be turned off.
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5. What are some of your major turn-ons?
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   Other than good personal hygiene and a positive attitude, a guy who is playful is a huge turn-on to me. A good sense of humor is so, so sexy. Plus, I love a guy who actually acts like they’re interested in me. Make me feel like I’m the most amazing woman in the universe, and that’s going to really get me going. Touch me – not necessarily in sexual places. Like run your fingers along the back of my neck. Play with the palm of my hand and wrist. And kissing… lots of kissing!
   
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6. Others than bars/clubs, where’s the best place a guy can meet someone?
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   Bars and nightclubs are tough. Lots of people, but it’s noisy and usually women are with friends. It can be hard to approach someone in this venue. So, looking for other places to meet someone is smart. The best place to meet someone is doing activities you actually enjoy. So, if you like to workout – the gym. If you like to play volleyball – join a rec league. If you like to cook – take a cooking class. If you like to read – join a book club. This will already give you something in common with the women you approach.
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7. Why do women continue to use subtle hints with men, when they clearly don’t work?
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   The easy answer – because we’re eternal optimists! LOL Seriously, though, it’s because we want you to come to whatever conclusion we’re hinting at on your own, because then it’ll mean so much more. Example: We really like a band. In fact, you should’ve noticed that one of their songs is our ringtone. Now, this band is coming to town. We’d really like you to here this news and think, “Kimberly really likes ABC Band – I should get tickets!” That would be sweet and thoughtful! But, when we realize you probably haven’t been paying attention (either to our music tastes and/or the concert schedule), we decide to give you a little help. “Honey, did you see ABC Band is coming to town in June?” Now, we’re hoping this is going to turn on a little lightbulb in your head and you get those tickets, without further prompting. It’s still sweet and thoughtful, with this minor hint. Now, if we have to say, “I want to go to the ABC Band concert in June.” well, it takes away all of the thoughtfulness.
   
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8. What do you really think if your guy loses his erection or isn’t able to orgasm?
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   Our first thought is often, “What am I doing wrong?” I think this is a woman’s number 1 fear, when this happens. “Is he not attracted to me?” “Am I not good enough?” “Is he not enjoying sex with me?” We pretty much tend to blame ourselves, if our man can’t perform, for whatever reason. Because of this, it’s really, really important for men to reassure us that it’s not us (and keep reassuring us). And, yes, our guy not being able to orgasm is just as worrying to us as any erection difficulties. For women, we have to remind ourselves that 99% of the time, it’s absolutely nothing to do with us and try to be supportive of our man, so we don’t make the situation even worse.
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9. Why do women ask questions they really don’t want an honest answer to, like – Do I look fat in this outfit?
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   This one is silly, but we do it because we want reassurance. Whether it’s reassurance that we’re attractive – Do I look fat? Or, reassurance that you’re not going to leave us – Do you think she’s prettier than me? We sometimes just feel insecure and need you to build up our ego. However, if we really look awful in an outfit, don’t let us leave the house! 😀 Instead of saying we look fat in something (or ugly, etc.), approach it from a positive suggestion.  Example response to “Do I look fat in this outfit?” – You know, I really liked that dress you wore to dinner a couple weeks ago. The one with the flowers. You looked really good in that! You should wear that.
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10. Why is it such an issue that guys leave the toilet seat up?
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    There are a couple of reasons why this bothers us so much. First, it’s unsanitary. We don’t want to have to touch the toilet seat to put it down. I know, it means you guys have to touch it – but, that’s your choice, because you could sit to pee. 😀 Second, and most importantly, it’s a courtesy thing. You know it bugs us. Show us you care about our feelings with this one little thing. Leaving the toilet seat up screams to us, “I really don’t care what you want.”
    
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11. Why do women always go to the bathroom in groups?
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    Well, this is when we hold our Super Secret Women’s Society meetings, where we make plans to rule the world!  Seriously, though sometimes we do this, so we can continue talking or maybe even talk about our guys. Sometimes we just like the companionship. Sometimes we go, because we don’t want the women that do go to talk about us when we’re not there! OK, I don’t think I’ve ever worried about this, but I know some friends who would be concerned about this, with certain women. Most often, it’s just a social thing – no ulterior motives.
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12. Why do women dress so provocatively, but then complain when guys are checking them out?
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    We want to look our best, but we don’t want guys leering at us. There’s a difference between a guy seeing us and thinking we’re pretty, and one who is openly gawking at us. Dressing provocatively can help us feel good about ourselves. But, wolf whistles and/or inappropriate comments aren’t appropriate.
    
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13. Do women check out a guy’s package like guys check out women’s boobs?
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    For the most part – no. Women don’t look at a guy’s package as often as men check out women’s boobs. We’re looking at your smile – your hair – your arms – your butt.  Most of the time, men’s pants aren’t conducive for package checking out. But, even if they were it’s not something most women would actively look at. Now, I’ll admit, if you’re on the beach, in a Speedo, I might look briefly, but that’s out of curiosity, rather than actual sexual intention. And, if you have a great set of abs, I’m probably going to be focused on those instead.
    
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14. Do women actually like dick pics?
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    You have to be in a relationship where this is appropriate – first and foremost. I mean, if you’re just chatting with someone on Tinder and send an unsolicited dick pic… BAD! But, if your girl takes it as sexy and playful – we might like it.  However, even though I am a big fan of penises – a pic of MrKimberly’s penis (although it’s a very nice one!) is not really going to turn me on.
    
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15. Why do women always go for jerks over nice guys?
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    This is a very good question! Women go for jerks over nice guys for one reason – confidence. Confidence is a big turn on for many women. We are initially attracted to that. And, we have the hope that we’re going to be the woman that makes that asshat see the light and actually become a confident nice guy. That rarely happens. And, in the end, we usually end up marrying the nice guy. But, I know it’s so frustrating for the nice guys of the world, in the meantime. Be confident, and you’ll be the whole package deal from the beginning!
    
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Dear Fellow Femalekind,

Please, for not only the sake of the general male populace’s psyche, but for our happiness as well, stop talking about your partner’s penis size.

Don’t call it “cute.”

Don’t compare it to other penises you’ve had in the past or seen in porn.

Definitely, in the heat of anger, don’t think a derogatory remark on his size is an appropriate insult to sling.

It’s not nice. It’s not helpful. And, we all pay for it, in the long run.

Forget cyber-bullying – penis size comments have done more harm then all the snarky, mean girl Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and SnapChat posts combined!

I’ve been a part of the PEGym family for more than 7 years now, and at first, I thought snide “small dick” comments were only made rarely. That, sure, there were bitchy, immature girls out there who callously told their partner about a HUGE ex or that they blatantly wish their BFs dick was bigger — but they were few and far between, right? I mean, why would you try to make someone you care about feel bad?

Sadly, my years of talking to tens of thousands of members has realized one truth — these kinds of comments happen quite frequently. And, the result is often the same — a guy doubting his self-worth, with increased physical insecurities, as some girl has just taken a swipe at the most personal part of him – his penis.

So, what harm can these comments really do? Shouldn’t men be a little less sensitive? Sticks and stones and all of that?

The reality is a guy can’t unhear a comment that even implies that his penis is less-than-desirable. Not only, as I mentioned before, does it negatively affect his self-image, but this self-doubt affects every aspect of his life. Romantic relationships suffer. If he’s in one with the girl who has made the comment, he worries that he’s not enough man for her and that she’s unhappy and is going to leave him. This hurt and insecurity often leads to jealousy and anger. It’s often the beginning of the end of the relationship.

Even if she apologizes and tries to reassure him that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with his manhood, he’ll always remember the hurtful comment.

You can’t unring that bell.

This insecurity can even negatively affect other personal and professional relationships.

Ladies, think of it this way. Would you want your partner to say something negative about your breast size? Maybe comment that his ex had nicer, perkier breasts? How would it feel if he said he thought your labia were a little long and floppy? Or that he really prefers a tighter vagina? What about even a simple comment about your weight – that his ex had abs he could bounce a quarter off of – or the perfect ass?

Obviously, we don’t want our partner to talk about how they like something on their ex more than on us. Even in the heat of the moment, or after a bad breakup, we don’t want them going to their buddies to say our ass was riddled with cellulite or we gave crappy blow jobs or our boobs were saggy.

Let’s use the Golden Rule when it comes to talking about men’s penises.

“But, Kimberly,” you say. “What if my partner asks me about his size or sizes of my exes? What do I do?!?”

First – MEN: STOP DOING THIS!!!!! Seriously – STOP! It’s like a woman asking you, “Does this dress make me look fat?” Or, “Do you think she’s pretty?” It’s a loaded question.

Second – Answer with this, “I’ve never paid attention to size. All I know is you rock my world, baby!!”

So, please, ladies – let’s make 2018 a kinder, happier year by making a vow to never discuss the size of a guy’s penis again. The world will definitely be a better place! 

And, remember, happy men are more likely to make us happy! 😀

Thanks!

I have a unique position here at PEGym, as one of only a few women active on PEGym, and the only female staff member, I get quite a few direct messages from members, asking questions or asking for my opinion.

I love these!!

Do you have a question or a situation you’d like me to weigh in on? Send me a direct message at forum name – KMWylie . As always, if your question is chosen for a post, your identity will be completely anonymous. So, don’t be shy! There are no dumb questions!

Check out our other Ask Kimberly questions here —

Ask Kimberly

Q. I am planning on starting a routine again, but I did some basic PE stretches pretty consistently for about 8 months tops when I was younger, but stopped….

…Six years later, I have remained the same length and girth, but I am wondering if it would be possible at all for me to start losing any possible “gains” I made all that time ago. I have searched PEGym and other forums regarding this issue, and have seen people say they lost whatever progress they made a few months after stopping. Ultimately, I’m wondering if it is possible to lose any “gains” I made six years after doing PE stretches, or if I would have already lost whatever gains I made long ago, and have nothing to worry about at this point.

A. Losing hard-earned gains is a very valid concern for men doing penis exercises.

First it’s important to understand why gains are lost, in the first place. Penis enlargement gains can occur by three ways:

1. Improved blood flow to the penis – Even its flaccid state, your penis size relies partially on the amount of blood in it at any given point in time. Even men who are naturally showers – not growers – can see this in action, by jumping into a cold pool. Doing penis exercises will improve the blood flow to your penis. Even indirect exercises – like Kegels – improve blood flow and can result in gains.
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2. Stretched tissue – Penis exercises can show enlargement gains by stretching the tissue cells. Think of it like a woman who gets pregnant, where her stomach skin tissue stretches, but after having the baby, much of it (and for the lucky few – most of it) returns to the pre-pregnancy state. This same stretching can happen with penis exercises.
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3. New tissue growth – The final way penis enlargement gains happen with penis enlargement is through actual new cellular growth, within the tissues. When doing penis exercises properly, consistently, and with the correct amount of force, microtears occur. This then facilitates new cellular growth, as the body repairs these microtears. This process is similar to traditional exercise and the building of muscle mass through exercise.

Now, the first two of these ways to gains can be lost, if penis exercises are stopped. Your body is naturally resistant to change, so it wants to revert to its previous state.  EQ gains are lost when no longer exercising means the blood flow to your penis isn’t as great as it once was. Stretched tissue, is like a rubber – that tissue wants to go back to (as close as possible) to its previous state.

However, new tissue growth is usually pretty permanent.  If you’ve known someone who’s gauged their ears, and slowly, over time increased the size of the hole. If they then decide they no longer want to wear the gauges, much of that hole still remains, because the slow, consistent process has resulted in new tissue growth. Even years later (unless they have it surgically repaired), they’ll still have ear lobes with large holes in them.

So, back to the original question – if the gains you made six years ago, and are still there, if they’ll be lost – the answer is — not likely (for the most part).  If you’ve gone six years without doing penis exercises, and still see your gains, these were most likely made by new tissue growth, so are going to be yours to keep.

Now, as men age, it’s normal that circulatory changes occur, which often results in a decrease in erection quality. For this reason, continuing penis exercises is always a good idea, even if you’re happy with your size, to maximize that blood flow to your penis. Combine this with a regular schedule of cardio exercise, and you can look forward to enjoying those gains and a rock-hard penis, for years to come!

I have a unique position here at PEGym, as one of only a few women active on PEGym, and the only female staff member, I get quite a few direct messages from members, asking questions or asking for my opinion.

I love these!!

Do you have a question or a situation you’d like me to weigh in on? Send me a direct message at forum name – KMWylie . As always, if your question is chosen for a post, your identity will be completely anonymous. So, don’t be shy! There are no dumb questions!

Check out our other Ask Kimberly questions here —

Ask Kimberly

Q. I’ve read a bunch of scary stories regarding loss of sensitivity, how sensitive SHOULD my friend be?

A. This is one of those difficult to answer questions.

Sensitivity is such a subjective matter, it’s really hard to put a finite answer to this. So, in my typical rambling way 😉 , let me see if what I say helps you.

Your penis should be sensitive enough that you can be physically stimulated. Yet, not so sensitive that you can’t control your reaction to even the slightest physical stimulation – i.e. even a small amount of touching results in premature ejaculation. Or, worse, it becomes so sensitive that it’s actually unpleasant to have any physical stimulation.

It’s completely normal for you to have certain areas of the penis that are more sensitive than others. Most men find that the head of their penis is significantly more sensitive than the shaft. (Which makes sense, since there are far more nerve endings, in a smaller area at the head.) And, many find the underside of the head, near the frenulum, to be especially sensitive. (Although, not ever man has this increased sensitivity.)

So, assuming it’s pleasurable for you when you (or someone else) touches your penis, with an increased amount of pleasure at the glans, but, you aren’t so sensitive that you have trouble controlling yourself or you don’t experience unpleasant or painful sensations… well, then your sensitivity is fine.

What’s more important when doing penis exercises, is watching for CHANGES in sensitivity. This would be a negative physiological indicator and is a sign that you need to make some sort of changes to your routine – whether it be changes in duration, frequency, reps, intensity, or rest days – or some combination.

Hope that helps!

I have a unique position here at PEGym, as one of only a few women active on PEGym, and the only female staff member, I get quite a few direct messages from members, asking questions or asking for my opinion.

I love these!!

Do you have a question or a situation you’d like me to weigh in on? Send me a direct message at forum name – KMWylie . As always, if your question is chosen for a post, your identity will be completely anonymous. So, don’t be shy! There are no dumb questions!

Check out our other Ask Kimberly questions here —

Ask Kimberly

Q. This is not a question about insecurity because as you know we CAN do something about our size. Instead it’s a question about goals…

… I’m trying to pick a size to stop at but I don’t want to pick a size that women would hate or be scared off by. I recognize the length of the vagina. I recognize each woman is different. I recognize men focus on this more than women do. If it’s up to me, I’d go as big as I could without turning off most women. (Valium online)  So what would be your ideal size and how big is too big for you?

A.  Since you asked about my personal preference, that’s how I’ll answer this one.

Of course, again, all women are different. And, as I’ve said many, many times… a large penis does NOT equal a phenomenal lover.  So, for me, I’d rather have a lover with a smaller penis that was caring, attentive, adventurous, and passionate, then one with a larger penis that wasn’t these things.

However, you asked about size specifically.  And, since I really have never really focused solely on size, I actually had to think about this a bit.

I’d say my preferred size would be between 5 1/2 and 7 1/2″. If I had to pick a specific number, I’d say 6 1/2 inches would be ideal – all other factors the same.

Much bigger than 7 1/2 inches, and we’re talking possibility of hitting the cervix, and that’s not enjoyable. (Although there are women that enjoy that.) So, any guy much larger has to be more careful, and I prefer a guy who can just go crazy and not worry about hurting me.

I have a unique position here at PEGym, as one of only a few women active on PEGym, and the only female staff member, I get quite a few direct messages from members, asking questions or asking for my opinion.

I love these!!

Do you have a question or a situation you’d like me to weigh in on? Send me a direct message at forum name – KMWylie . As always, if your question is chosen for a post, your identity will be completely anonymous. So, don’t be shy! There are no dumb questions!

Check out our other Ask Kimberly questions here —

Ask Kimberly

Q. I’m looking for some insight into what women like in relationships that keeps it interesting….

…Like men know women like to shop and have a companion. What about going out, like fine dining, or attention to them, like compliments, flowers, basically what keeps the girl always interested in the relationship? What do they hate/dislike the most? I’m not talking about cheating, or adverting there attention away to another girl, but what makes relationships boring, and that makes them want to see other men?

A. You are not alone in wondering what women want!

First, the most important thing to remember is — All women are different. Your comment, “Like men know women like to shop…”  Guess what? I LOATHE shopping. Other than finding the perfect Christmas present for my family and friends, I would rather get poked in the eye with a sharp stick than shop.

Similarly with the other items — some women really enjoy fine dining. Some, like my step-monster, think spending an exorbitant amount on a meal is a huge waste of money, so taking her somewhere really nice is more likely to irritate her.

Flowers? I like flowers when they’re “Just because” flowers – like random Wednesday flowers. But, if MrKimberly were to give me flowers on Valentine’s Day… I’d be a little disappointed that there was no thought put into the gift.

However, these things are really neither here nor there, when you’re talking about keeping a woman interested in a relationship. No amount of “stuff” you purchase or places you take her is going to keep her interested.

Again, we’ll speak in generalities here, since women are unique…

Most women want to feel loved and wanted by their partner. You don’t have to buy her anything or take her anywhere to accomplish this. In fact, my best friend’s ex-husband took her all over the world and showered her with gifts always. It didn’t save their marriage, because he was a jerk to her. She didn’t feel loved. And, so after 15 years and 4 kids – she left him.

Make your partner feel cherished with your words and actions every, single day. Compliments are great – but they have to be sincere and they have to be specific (and unique). If you say, “You’re so beautiful.” every single day, eventually it becomes white noise. Instead, use specific, real instances to let your partner know how much you love them and why, as well as how thankful you are that they’re in your life.

Gifts and stuff are great! But, they aren’t an insurance policy for relationship success. Also, make sure they’re MEANINGFUL! Really think about your partner and what she likes and wants. A sweet, sentimental, thoughtful gift is worth more than an expensive, generic gift any day of the week.

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, if you want to ensure your partner is happy in your relationship — talk to her. Find out what she likes. Listen to what she says, and even what she doesn’t say. When you’re out together, and she points out something she likes – make a mental note (or a physical note, if you’re forgetful, like me 😉 ). When you do want to surprise her with something look back at your notes and pick something she’d never expect.

I have a unique position here at PEGym, as one of only a few women active on PEGym, and the only female staff member, I get quite a few direct messages from members, asking questions or asking for my opinion.

I love these!!

Do you have a question or a situation you’d like me to weigh in on? Send me a direct message at forum name – KMWylie . As always, if your question is chosen for a post, your identity will be completely anonymous. So, don’t be shy! There are no dumb questions!

Check out our other Ask Kimberly questions here —

Ask Kimberly

Q. I’m new to PEGym and new to PE. I’m 3 months into using Bathmate’s Hydromax X30. And this is the only PE I do….

… I’m married and my wife and I have a great sex life. My wife has no complaints about my size (I’m about 6.5-6.75″ BPEL, 5-5.3″ EG). I’m also a guy. And I want a bigger penis LOL. But I do want a bigger penis for both of us. My question, if it’s even answerable, is how much of an increase in penis size is something a woman can actually perceive?

We have vaginal and oral sex. And obviously she touches me with her hands. I feel like I’m bigger after 3 months with the X30. I’m not (but should be) regimented with measurements. But to me, I do feel noticeably thicker and longer. And my EQ feels great. But here’s her take on it…

Vaginally – she says she can’t feel a difference. But I swear I’ve heard her make a few new sounds during lovemaking. Orally – she says my penis might feel a little more “swollen” and veiny. Hands – she says she really doesn’t feel a difference.

I feel like the ultimate confirmation of PE isn’t a ruler, it’s you AND your partner. So, do you have any thoughts or experience on how much of an increase (length or girth) a man would have to achieve for a woman to feel the difference?

A. This is actually a really interesting question, so thank you for posing it!

First, it’s sometimes difficult to notice penis size increase visually or by feeling because the change happens relatively slowly. This is the reason we always encourage new PEers to take good starting measurements. Think of it this way… you put on 15 pounds in a year, chances are you didn’t wake up one day and go – Oh my goodness! I’ve put on weight! – instead, because it was gradual, you likely didn’t even notice it, until you go to put on a pair of shorts that next summer and they fit a bit snugly.

Second, has your wife ever gotten a hair cut, and you didn’t notice? Don’t feel bad, if it’s happened to you. Most men have had that happen. Heck, I had a pink extension in my hair, for Breast Cancer Awareness, for 2 weeks before MrKimberly noticed it! Some people are just more aware of small changes in their partner. It’s not a good or bad thing, it’s just natural when you spend a lot of time with a person, you may not focus on small details.

Third, when we’re talking vaginally, especially with a gradual size increase that she’s able to get used to over time as you grow, she likely may not ever notice, and that is a simple product of biology. From Discovery Health – “The outer one-third of the vagina, especially near the opening, contains nearly 90 percent of the vaginal nerve endings and therefore is much more sensitive to touch than the inner two-thirds of the vaginal barrel.”  Remember, the vagina is designed to stretch to accommodate the birth of a child. If women were so sensitive to size change to really notice a penis size increase, we’d never have kids! LOL

Lastly, more swollen and veiny is definitely a sign of improved erection quality, as well as increased girth. So, it sounds like she is noticing some difference already. And, that’s a very good thing! 🙂

So, keep it up! Even though her body may be adjusting to your increased size as you grow, it definitely sounds like she’s noticing… even if she doesn’t know she’s noticing.

I have a unique position here at PEGym, as one of only a few women active on PEGym, and the only female staff member, I get quite a few direct messages from members, asking questions or asking for my opinion.

I love these!!

Do you have a question or a situation you’d like me to weigh in on? Send me a direct message at forum name – KMWylie . As always, if your question is chosen for a post, your identity will be completely anonymous. So, don’t be shy! There are no dumb questions!

Check out our other Ask Kimberly questions here —

Ask Kimberly

Q. Be honest. Have you ever lied about having an orgasm? 

This is a question I’ve received numerous times, over the last few years. So, don’t worry – you’re not alone in wondering about this!

I know for most men, giving your partner an orgasm is a sign of sexual success. You feel proud – “Ha! I did that!” 🙂  Men are naturally “fixers” – giving your partner an orgasm “fixes” a sexual “problem.” It’s totally natural to feel proud of yourself.

However, when orgasm doesn’t happen, it can make you have doubts. “What did I do wrong?” “Didn’t she enjoy herself?” “Does she want someone else?” even… “Is she cheating on me?”

That sexual “problem” wasn’t fixed. You feel like you failed.

Now, on the flipside of this sexual equation, where men are naturally “fixers,” women are naturally “nurturers.”  We have a biological urge to care for our loved ones. We want our partners to be happy… and we know that if we don’t orgasm, they often take it personally, and that will make them unhappy.

So, for that reason, some women have lied about their orgasm.

Oftentimes when a woman can’t orgasm, it has absolutely nothing to do with their partner and what their partner is doing. It can be something as common as stress or being tired, preventing her from reaching that Big O.

This is probably the most common, related to not wanting their partner to feel bad, reason women lie about their orgasm. There are other things going on in their life that simply make achieving orgasm really difficult. For this reason, they may simply be letting their partner “off the hook” by faking an orgasm, when they just know it’s really not going to happen.

Personally, I’ve never lied about having an orgasm. It’s not that I don’t care about my partner’s feelings, 😉 but rather I’ve always been a big fan of open and honest communication. During the few times where I haven’t been able to orgasm, I’ve always just been honest — explaining that it wasn’t my partner’s fault. I’d want him to be honest with me too, if he wasn’t able to orgasm for any reason.