why do women do this?

[Learntolift]

why do they take forever to reply to text messages?

i mean i've kind of been seeing this girl as of a week ago, she lives in AZ i was there for thanksgiving, and go back and forth every so often because we have a vacation house there. but we have basically admitted to each other how much we like each other, etc etc. but she still takes so long to reply to texts sometimes, like right now its been over an hour and no reply, i just don't get it.

sure you may say oh she is busy, she is with friends, what have you. but if a girl really likes you like that, you'd be in their head even when they're with friends, and they'd check their phone for messages from you. so is it just a game she/they still play? or does anyone have any insight?

 

[RockstarParkingDude]

don't be clingy. you will push her away. behavior like this is very unattractive to women.... to men also, no one likes a clinger.

aside from that, maybe she doesnt hear her phone, or she is with people and doesnt want to ignore them for a phone (which is rude).

some women play stupid games like this, but this dosn't sound like a case of that. get her out of your head dude.

 

[Hoffnung]

This ^
That is all.

 

[Learntolift]

oh yeah trust me i dont act clingy at all i know how bad that is. but im just speaking my mind on here to express it. but yeah you are right about the being rude thing when with people bc when i was with her i dont think i once saw her look at her phone.

how would you suggest to get her out of my head? i hate thinking about people but cant help it, would love advice

 

[Unit]

Form a text message is something that I get to when I feel like. If I'm doing something it waits until I'm read to deal with. She might just be one of those thoughtfulvpeople that thinks it's rude to text while with other people. Keep in mind that a phone has no constitutonal right co be answered and texts even less so.

 

[Hoffnung]

I find reading, watching a movie, playing a game, or sleeping all do well to sway thoughts of anything... Depending of course on how well you are captivated by each activity. Ever try meditation? Just think of nothing (pure white or black) and breathe in and out slowly focusing on silence with your eyes closed.

 

[RockstarParkingDude]

i understand this situation so well its funny. this girl i've been dating just went to college.

get out of your normal space. if you have an empty hole that is normally filled with her prescence, it will be filled by thoughts of her. find something else to fill your mind. whether it be a project, a hobby, heavy exercise (my current distraction), or time with friends, its all better than dwelling on loneliness.

 

[funkylemonade]

Rockstar said it perfectly. Find something else to use your mental energy for something constructive. Trying to figure out why she's behaving a certain way is up there with calculus. Besides, based on what you said it sounds like your a little obsessive. An hour is nothing, whether she read it or not. Women definitely like the chase and being pursued, so thats why they do this. Understand that and just be straight up with your feelings, avoid playing games at all costs... if you feel she's too manipulative, its probably not going to be a healthy relationship. Save yourself the time, this is coming from someone whose a few months out of a relationship (with a girl I love) and really had a difficult time with this kind of behavior you described (except it was more like days and weeks on end). Once all is said and done, you'll feel way better and more productive in all walks of life.

 

[closed056]

My advice If she takes forever to text you back is to do it back to her. If she takes an hour to reply then you take an hour to rely. Its funny cause she'll start to be the more needy one and always wondering what you're doing. If she asks why you're taking so long just say you were busy. Its kinda like playing hard to get, and it works wonders.

 

[Spartan111]

The other members who posted are right, use your energy for something constructive, play hard to get, and figure out a way to keep yourself busy and you'll life a more fulfilling life.

I'm glad you posted this though because I used to (still somewhat do) have the same problem where I constantly check my phone for any text messages from this girl I've been flirting with. Logically I knew for a FACT that she's attracted to me but when she took forever to reply to my messages I began to have doubts that she was even interested me at all.

2 days later she calls me right before I'm about to work out and she says, "Hey what's up? Would you like to be my pretend boyfriend?" (long story short, she has this other clingy guy hitting on her and she wants to make it seem like she's taken), but nonetheless, I was completely wrong about her not being interested. She gave me legit excuses saying she had work, or tons of homework, etc etc. I knew they were legit because 1, she would always answer my phone calls and we would have amazing 2 hour conversations, 2 she would always leave hints that she liked me, and 3, she never showed disinterest in person.

Bottom line: Sometimes people really ARE busy. So become work to become busy yourself.

 

[Spartan111]

The other members who posted are right, use your energy for something constructive, play hard to get, and figure out a way to keep yourself busy and you'll live a more fulfilling life.

I'm glad you posted this because I used to (still somewhat do) have the same problem where I constantly check my phone for any text messages from this girl I've been flirting with. Logically I know for a FACT that she's attracted to me but when she took forever to reply to my messages I began to have doubts that she was even interested in me at all.

2 days later she calls me right before I'm about to workout and she says, "Hey what's up? Would you like to be my pretend boyfriend?" (long story short, she has this other clingy guy hitting on her and she wants to make it seem like she's taken), but nonetheless, I was completely wrong about her not being interested. She gave me legit excuses saying she had work, or tons of homework, etc etc. I knew they were legit because 1, she would always answer my phone calls and we would have amazing 2 hour conversations, 2 she would always leave hints that she liked me, and 3, she never showed disinterest in person.

Bottom line: Sometimes people really ARE busy. So become work to become busy yourself.

 

[Learntolift]

yeah you guys are right and i definitely am going to take a LONG time to reply when she finally does text me...

since she never ended up replying last night, which idk it just bothers me...bc to a certain extent i find it to be just rude, bc i know she saw her phone, saw my text, and deliberately said 'i'm not replying to this' and idk, that just bothers me whether it's someone i am interested in, or just another person, because i hate being ignored more than anything.

but either way it does put me off and now it gives me an attitude and when i do end up replying, when she does end up texting me, i feel like i may give some attitude

How long should I wait? It'll probably end up being a total of 15 hours before she texts back, from last night.

 

[MrBigDick]

don't be clingy. you will push her away. behavior like this is very unattractive to women.... to men also, no one likes a clinger.

aside from that, maybe she doesnt hear her phone, or she is with people and doesnt want to ignore them for a phone (which is rude).

some women play stupid games like this, but this dosn't sound like a case of that. get her out of your head dude.

Not only do I TOTALLY agree with RockstarParkingDude's post but I will add to it. I used to think like you do now. I learned that women do genuinely get just as busy as men do. Also, this chick that I met on match.com..............nice as ALL get out and I genuinely like her but what cealed her fate with me was I'd send her a "hi, hope you're having a great day" text and she would LITERALLY flood my phone with text messages..............I'd send her 1, she'd send me at a minimum of 15 back.......no, not an exaggeration. I couldn't handle the clingy bullshit she was doing and it was driving me further away.

If you text her and she doesn't reply, just be "whatever" about it. You aren't committed to her in any way so flirt with other girls. Sitting back and just waiting for her reply text and then getting pissed off because she isn't responding to you right away is a GREAT way to turn off a woman.........period! Besides that, she might be thinking of you alot, you don't know that she isn't. She might genuinely be busy and can't respond right away. Take a chill pill man if you want this to work out.

 

[CUSP82]

yeah you guys are right and i definitely am going to take a LONG time to reply when she finally does text me...

since she never ended up replying last night, which idk it just bothers me...bc to a certain extent i find it to be just rude, bc i know she saw her phone, saw my text, and deliberately said 'i'm not replying to this' and idk, that just bothers me whether it's someone i am interested in, or just another person, because i hate being ignored more than anything.

but either way it does put me off and now it gives me an attitude and when i do end up replying, when she does end up texting me, i feel like i may give some attitude

How long should I wait? It'll probably end up being a total of 15 hours before she texts back, from last night.

Maybe it takes long to respond because it take a while to figure out what you're writing? I wouldn't want to have to decipher "bc", "idk" and no capital letters ( that always throws me off). How about, while you're here, not writing your post as a text message. Better still, how about writing a nice text message that makes you sound smart.

 

[MrBigDick]

yeah you guys are right and i definitely am going to take a LONG time to reply when she finally does text me...

since she never ended up replying last night, which idk it just bothers me...bc to a certain extent i find it to be just rude, bc i know she saw her phone, saw my text, and deliberately said 'i'm not replying to this' and idk, that just bothers me whether it's someone i am interested in, or just another person, because i hate being ignored more than anything.

but either way it does put me off and now it gives me an attitude and when i do end up replying, when she does end up texting me, i feel like i may give some attitude

How long should I wait? It'll probably end up being a total of 15 hours before she texts back, from last night.

OK, bro, HOW do you know she saw her phone? HOW do you know what went through her mind when she saw your text? HOW do you know she intentionally decided "oh no, I'm not replying to this right away, I'm going to make him wait"...............how do you know ANY of that stuff happened? You're assuming alot here bro and assuming is very dangerous in dating. OK, it bothers you, I get it. This tells me you've got too much time on your hands and you need to make yourself busier with activities or things that interest you. It sounds like you text her and then wait on baited breath for her response and when it doesn't come through, you get pissed off.

I would send one more text to her and if she still doesn't respond, take the hint.........and DON'T send an attitude filled text back. It's just going to make you look like a deuche.

 

[Learntolift]

Yeah for sure. I act totally chill towards her im not gonna fuck this up. But I just need to vent here I guess and get reassurance.

It's been....about 16 hours and no reply so would you recommend wait for her to text me no matter how long? Because I don't send 2 texts in a row, it's just something I refuse to do because if I got no reply, then she can just text me when she's ready to talk. And I'll take my damn time replying.

And bigdick you remember my story about. 5 months ago? If so maybe you understand my insecurity and why I may have trust issues/wonder if she's with another guy

 

[MrBigDick]

Yeah for sure. I act totally chill towards her im not gonna fuck this up. But I just need to vent here I guess and get reassurance.

It's been....about 16 hours and no reply so would you recommend wait for her to text me no matter how long? Because I don't send 2 texts in a row, it's just something I refuse to do because if I got no reply, then she can just text me when she's ready to talk. And I'll take my damn time replying.

And bigdick you remember my story about. 5 months ago? If so maybe you understand my insecurity and why I may have trust issues/wonder if she's with another guy

I get the insecurity thing.....I honestly do. First off, I would send her another text message.............she genuinely may not have gotten the first one you sent. It does happen. IF after that second one she still doesn't respond, then that's your clue that she's not interested and you need to move on. The key with texting and dating is that you've really got to play it cool. It shouldn't be a game but it is and either you adapt to it or you don't. I've had to learn that myself.

And it may not be a case of her being with another guy, she just might not be that interested in you for whatever reason. Women tend to do that. If they're not interested, they'll go along with the exchanging of cell numbers at the onset but after the initial meet is done, they won't respond to a text or phone you back. I've had that happen before and you're right, it's fuckin' rude as hell but it is what it is. You simply write her off at that point and you move on.

 

[Learntolift]

I guess ultimately my deal is this: if I like someone I'm going to talk to them. If I see a text, I'll reply. Not right away, but in a reasonable amount of time. So it just makes me question why it's not coming back at me similarly. I just dont understand it and makes me questioned if I'm actually liked despite te feelings for me she says she has, and shows when we are together.

I guess I just care too much. And I think it's a safe assumption to say over the past 16 hours she has looked at her phone once. Especially for us young 20 year olds

 

[closed149]

I'm 20, and I'm a horrible texter. Sometimes I take hours to text back because I'm busy, don't look at my phone, fell asleep, anything! I actually hate when people expect me to reply right away and obsess over my phone. Talking on the phone is 10,000 times better!

 

[MrBigDick]

I guess ultimately my deal is this: if I like someone I'm going to talk to them. If I see a text, I'll reply. Not right away, but in a reasonable amount of time. So it just makes me question why it's not coming back at me similarly. I just dont understand it and makes me questioned if I'm actually liked despite te feelings for me she says she has, and shows when we are together.

I guess I just care too much. And I think it's a safe assumption to say over the past 16 hours she has looked at her phone once. Especially for us young 20 year olds

And I agree with you. I operate in much the same fashion. And when I date someone, I look for that same level of interest in me that I have in her. If I text, I like to see a response text back in a reasonable amount of time as well. If it's not coming back to you, then from my personal experience, it's time to get to steppin'. She may have said she had feelings for you but many people say alot of things for a myriad of reasons. If you're important enough to her, she'll text you back or hit you up, it's as simple as that.

I'm like you, I care too BUT, when I start to feel that the woman I'm interested in is playing games or jackin' me around, I cut her off. I've got too much to offer to get treated like that and at my age, I have no patience for it. I'll bet you she has looked at her phone multiple times...........unfortunately, I don't think you rate high enough to her to merit a text back.