Rejection
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I love you cookie. Do you have a blood relative available for me? Can you thoroughly train him to be sure and send him down here please. Thank you so much. Ill be waiting 
Okay so now I'm blushing.
Just remember not to think so much, over analyze things. It puts fear before the fun of any relationship. Okay so you have loved and lost; why focus on the "lost". Is it not better to focus on the "love"? Don't ever be sad that it ended;be happy that you actually had it.
I just want to live my life happily ever after, every now and then.
Just remember not to think so much, over analyze things. It puts fear before the fun of any relationship. Okay so you have loved and lost; why focus on the "lost". Is it not better to focus on the "love"? Don't ever be sad that it ended;be happy that you actually had it.
I just want to live my life happily ever after, every now and then.
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The feeling of rejection is an unavoidable fact of life; regardless of gender. We often first experience it in childhood; when we are denied something we really wanted (toy, candy, etc.) by those we love. With our limited understanding at the time, we often perceive the denial as personal rejection and are then bombarded with all kinds of negative feelings about oneself. If it happens enough, we learn very quickly to stop asking for things in order to avoid these "bad" feelings.
The problem of course is that when we stop asking, we really, really limit our chances of getting what it is that we truly want - whether it's a new item, a promotion or a date with someone that interests us.
This leaves us with essentially two choices:
1) don't ask and risk missing the opportunity of getting what we want.
2) ask and risk feeling rejected.
Fortunately there is a third option but many people seldom consider it and that is changing what "rejection" means to them. By learning to re-frame rejection to see it in a much more impersonal and realistic manner, we provide ourselves with the best option for getting what we want with the least amount of bad feelings. And all it takes is a change of meaning and a willingness to believe it.
The problem of course is that when we stop asking, we really, really limit our chances of getting what it is that we truly want - whether it's a new item, a promotion or a date with someone that interests us.
This leaves us with essentially two choices:
1) don't ask and risk missing the opportunity of getting what we want.
2) ask and risk feeling rejected.
Fortunately there is a third option but many people seldom consider it and that is changing what "rejection" means to them. By learning to re-frame rejection to see it in a much more impersonal and realistic manner, we provide ourselves with the best option for getting what we want with the least amount of bad feelings. And all it takes is a change of meaning and a willingness to believe it.
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That's a great point of view TPW!
I'll have to speak to my mom but whenever she shot me down on something I wanted to do i immediately came back with a lesser version. I would do this until I got the okay. Lol as you said I quickly learned what was acceptable to my parents and adjusted my lifestyle to do everything within those boundaries as much as possible. I call it smart and I learned it very young. I loved my childhood it was great!! As I got into my teens I tested her to no end. Got shot down once big time at 16. She was 100% right in her decision. I knew it then. But boy was I mad lol
I don't recall my brothers doing this. Pushing. Could be a gender thing or how they reacted to the word no and how I did. Truth is the are both calm passive guys. I took all the piss and vinegar I think lol
I'm glad so many participated in this discussion. If it helps one woman or one man then it's a win!
I particularly feel I have a great new topic to discuss with my son. He is much like me so I don't think he fears rejection. He's quite out going and rolls with it. But you never know. There are always feelings inside no one else knows. I hope to make a difference for him.
Grateful to y'all.
I'll have to speak to my mom but whenever she shot me down on something I wanted to do i immediately came back with a lesser version. I would do this until I got the okay. Lol as you said I quickly learned what was acceptable to my parents and adjusted my lifestyle to do everything within those boundaries as much as possible. I call it smart and I learned it very young. I loved my childhood it was great!! As I got into my teens I tested her to no end. Got shot down once big time at 16. She was 100% right in her decision. I knew it then. But boy was I mad lol
I don't recall my brothers doing this. Pushing. Could be a gender thing or how they reacted to the word no and how I did. Truth is the are both calm passive guys. I took all the piss and vinegar I think lol
I'm glad so many participated in this discussion. If it helps one woman or one man then it's a win!
I particularly feel I have a great new topic to discuss with my son. He is much like me so I don't think he fears rejection. He's quite out going and rolls with it. But you never know. There are always feelings inside no one else knows. I hope to make a difference for him.
Grateful to y'all.
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That poster is brilliant TPW and so true!!! I was rejected quite a bit a over the past few years but if I wasn't I wouldn't have met my girlfriend now, whom I love with all my heart. Good way to view things
Rejection is never fun.
But rejection also means different things to different guys.
One of my friends was used by a girl who he thought was his girlfriend, only to find out AFTER he took her on a cruise that she was with somebody. it kind of made him stop dating for a long time.
Then, there is my friend who could care less about rejection. He sees a rejection as one step closer to getting laid. And yes, he gets a lot of action.
For me personally, I never really have been rejected because I don't date much. I have been friend zoned by a girl whom we hung out a lot and did a ton of things together. When I asked if we were a couple, she said no but were really good friends. On that, I stopped seeing her because I don't like having girls as friends.
For me, friend zoning is an automatic relationship stopper. And, I guess, rejection would be as well.
And no, if a girl told me that she loved me. I would not be fearful of rejection. My wife/former long term girlfriend tells me that she loves me. But more importantly, I can feel her love for me.
But rejection also means different things to different guys.
One of my friends was used by a girl who he thought was his girlfriend, only to find out AFTER he took her on a cruise that she was with somebody. it kind of made him stop dating for a long time.
Then, there is my friend who could care less about rejection. He sees a rejection as one step closer to getting laid. And yes, he gets a lot of action.
For me personally, I never really have been rejected because I don't date much. I have been friend zoned by a girl whom we hung out a lot and did a ton of things together. When I asked if we were a couple, she said no but were really good friends. On that, I stopped seeing her because I don't like having girls as friends.
For me, friend zoning is an automatic relationship stopper. And, I guess, rejection would be as well.
And no, if a girl told me that she loved me. I would not be fearful of rejection. My wife/former long term girlfriend tells me that she loves me. But more importantly, I can feel her love for me.
burtybasset
Retired Moderator, Member of the Month May 2014,
I think it's awesome you discuss these things with your son.
I remember coming home from primary school heartbroken after a girl I had a massive crush on rejected me, my mother bless her just comforted me, but there was no talk of don't take it personally, this happens to everyone.
I hope to pass on my wisdom to my son about putting rejection behind you and not being consumed by it (roll with the punches!), but then I couldn't imagine why any girl would ever reject him, he's super cute and super sweet! Just like his dad
