Ready to give up altogether!!

[MarcusHa]

Thanks Marcus, I will try that.

More info here https://www.pegym.com/forums/premat...lvic-floor-stretching-relax-your-muscles.html

 

[burtybasset]

My wife has an IUD in place. And yep, the lack of sex definitely makes things much more difficult.

So have you tried using a condom?

 

[almightycrunch]

So have you tried using a condom?

Safe to say it has been a LONG time since I used a condom burty, unfortunately. I would be willing to try it to see if I got any results, but ultimately my goal is to find the source of the issue and solve it there.

I think at this point I may be leaning towards starting with some labwork just out of curiosity, but ultimately feeling like there are some psychological factors at work in my case that need some tweaking. Ultimately I think when you start with PremE and its effects, then pile on feeling a decreasing amount of desire from your partner, and a lack of willingness and responsiveness to communicate about it and/or change the associated interactions surrounding it, just puts you in a cycle where you think that your thoughts, feelings, desires and wishes dont seem important enough, and there is no way out of that circle.

 

[ammonite]

Firstly, the support here has been amazing so I hope that this can convince you not to give up. After all, the potential benefits far outweigh the effort you have to put in to deal with it.

Yes, we had a LOT of sex early on, the first night we had sex, we went at it for about 4 hours. It just seems to have gotten progressively worse over time, and then combined with the decreasing frequency of sex, it just seems to have exponentially grown. I know what you mean about doing "too much" and being a doormat, I understand this, and some may say that I shouldnt do some of the things I do, without reciprocation from my wife. Obviously we have had our share of relationship issues that have complicated things, sex being just one of them. So, my being attentive and affectionate has helped to improve certain aspects of our marriage, and I do not wish to sabotage that at this time either.

Secondly, I just wanted to pick up on this and clarify that you used to be able to last longer? If so, this is great because it shows that you've got it in you to last, you just need to remember how. What's changed since then? The frequency of sex and your attitude to it, which are interlinked.

Like others have said getting more sex is the key issue here. Sure, your wife may not like having 90 seconds, but that doesn't mean she should force you to have 0 seconds. That's just not fair! Talk to her, tell her that you feel the lack of sex is one of the main problems. Tell her how much pre e hurts you and how you want to get over it. It's pretty much her duty to help you, she signed up for it when she married you. Her current attitude puts too much pressure on you which will make the problem impossible to deal with. Make sure you convey that your pre e frustrates you just as much, if not more, than it does her.

You may need to be a little forceful to make sure she gets the message, but she's your wife so I'm not going to give you advice on how to convey these points, that's down to your judgement.

Now with regards to exercises you have two options. The first, and probably safest at first, is to continue with all the excellent advice given to you here, in conjunction with regular sex and it may eventually come to something.

The second, and perhaps controversial is to do no stamina exercises what so ever. Just get regular sex, forget pre e existed and enjoy yourself. If you do cum quickly well just enjoy the orgasm. Remove the pressure to perform. If it is completely a head issue, then this approach may just work, but it's probably best to leave this as an absolute last resort.

Either way, both your options rely on you getting more sex, so work on that and go from there. And DON'T give up.

 

[almightycrunch]

Thanks Ammo

 

[604]

Listen to the first advice CUSP gave you in page 1. Yes you are being a doormat for her. Before you two could have sex she seemed to enjoy and not complain, now you're having problems with it and she's complaining and just telling you to fix it on your own without any bit of support. U might not be the reason for PM but the fact that Ur being hurt is somewhat your own fault cause you don't decide to step up and get rid of her for being an insensitive bitch. When you always try to justify others behavior and selfishness over your own problems that's when you know you're looking to get hurt.

 

[PumpJelq]

AlmightyCrunch, I am going to suggest that you try pumping and jelqing along with the edging. Either way, everything is going to work out just fine.

 

[almightycrunch]

I think I understand the rationale for jelqing(to increase the stimulation above and beyond normal levels). But why pumping???

 

[almightycrunch]

Are you thinking that pumping is increasing the stimulation too???

 

[bolkonsky]

AlmightyCrunch, I am going to suggest that you try pumping and jelqing along with the edging. Either way, everything is going to work out just fine.

great and simple advice.

 

[SuperDD]

Like I said before, toss her. If she is not willing to do her part, yes her part in making the man feel wanted, than it's not worth it.

In my opinion, this is spot on at least have that attitude. Wanting to please a woman is one thing, but all that stuff your doing (with no response from her), makes you look weak.

Demand what you want. If she doesn't respond other women will. There is a line between trying to please and acting desperate . Own that S&%T

 

[SuperDD]

PS, that may get her wet alone, then you can work on your premature ejaculation

 

[almightycrunch]

Big, I dont think I ever said Ive tried "everything" i listed the things I've tried and said that none of them helped me. As far as the battery of testing, i have not done that. I agree that yoga and stress reduction measures may help me. I dont believe i ever insinuated that because i tried ssri's and tramadol and they did not work, that I surmised that it wasnt chemical????

well, after reading back one of my posts, I did in fact say that "literally nothing works" regarding meds, that obviously came out wrong Big, my apologies.

 

[almightycrunch]

Just a recommendation with regard to the PremE, I've found that doing sine kegels near PONR suddenly and very dramatically increased my orgasm control.

I've also seen it recommended to alternate kegels and reverse kegels on other threads as well. However, that did not work for me and I always messed up (although I didn't try very often). What did work is doing the kegels while edging just do try to build PFM strength; as a side effect, doing them near PONR helped build the orgasm control.

Interesting, I will see if this has some of the same effects for me, thanks OnMyWay

 

[PumpJelq]

AlmightyCrunch, the pumping will give you a bigger ejaculation plus a larger penis (short term and if done daily then long term). I combine the three and have been getting quick results. Doing just one without the others is kinda like selling yourself short. And yes, the pumping will increase your stimulation both mentally and physically.

 

[almightycrunch]

Interesting, i came to this aite strictly due to PremE, and while I have often thought about doing some of the PE stuff, I never really put the two together as a possible solution. I have done some half assed wet jelqs but not with any consistency. I've got a lot of avenues to go down here, hard to decide which one us best route

 

[BigO]

You haven't tried everything, so stop saying your situation is unique. Take a look at this link, it's the most common causes for Pre-E. Now go down the list and address every point, if that doesn't work, THEN you can come back on here and complain that your situation is unique.
Premature Ejaculation - Cure-Erectile-Dysfunction.org

Don't be cheap, go get some tests done. Get a blood test done that checks EVERY hormone level (all testosterones, estrogen, prolactin SHGB etc etc). Now get another test to check your levels of neurotransmitters (serotonin, dopamine, GABA, norepinephrine, epinephrine). Then come on here and post your results. My guess is you won't do the tests though. .

Have you even researched the causes are you one of those people who assumes that edging is the magic cure? (it helps but isn't the only piece of the puzzle). And dont say "oh it's not chemical because I tried SSRI's and Tramadol", because serotonin is only ONE chemical related to PE.

I also agree with the people who said to meditate and do yoga, these will help lower your anxiety and strengthen your parasympathetic nervous system (research this if you don't know about it, but you should if you're a nurse). My guess is that you've always had a 'reason' for your PE, but then your wife being a b*itch has worsened the issue.

I have seen some dumb posts in this thread but after reading what I thought were stupid posts, it took me until the bottom of the 8th page to find this gem.

You sound like someone who actually believes that he THINKS he knows something. 11 posts thus far, let me see how brilliant the first ten are.

Semi offensive, disrespectful and completely useless. It is a Trifecta.

 

[BigO]

I do not think your problem is physical. I believe that you are in a place that makes you feel inferior to your wife. I know I could be wrong but that is the impression I get.

I know that you said you dont want to leave her, and I get that but you must understand that she has choices and she is not making any attempt to help you help both of you. I am not saying dump her, I am saying ask her to get involved in the steps and then if she says no to any and every option then you know it is over, even if that is not the end you are hoping for.

I do not think all the Pre-e exercises in the world will help you, you two need counseling and if she cant/wont do it then she is already checked out and you do not deserve that.

 

[MarcusHa]

In my opinion there is no such thing as physical premature ejaculation or psychological premature ejaculation. Somehow both are connected. If you are an anxious person or are under stress, it is likely that you will be physically tense (something that explains such things as tension headache and neck/shoulder/back pain). Now, if you got yourself used to cuming fast and/or watching porn, the tension you build down there will make you psychological prone to not be anxious or not to believe that you can last longer.

Thats why I think you have to cure the physical aspect first and then work on your mind. I am at the physical stage now, after having great success with yoga stretches and, most importantly, deep squat exercises and stretches (both described here: https://www.pegym.com/forums/premat...lvic-floor-stretching-relax-your-muscles.html).

Some weeks ago I was only able to masturbate for a couple minutes (sometimes more, but most of the time Id reach PONR pretty fast). Now, after doing deep squats and the stretches related to it, I am able to stimulate myself in a much faster pace for more than 10 minutes. HOWEVER, as soon as I start thinking about sexual things, my arousal level rises in a matter of seconds.

Thats why I think the both PE origins are related. And thats the approach I am working on now.