Just Talking

[islander]

Update. The ex hasn't smoke since we broke up. He's doing great I'm proud of him. Nothing bad has happened yet though so he will have to see how he learns to deal with sh*t
I'm sure he thinks there's a chance. He's very much around due to business and I'm sure I'm on the side lines wondering if he can be a fwb without rocking his world. I'm pretty sure he will lie and say he can do it. Not sure I can do that and chance he will get hurt when I meet someone else. He knows I'm talking and open to meeting other men. I want a relationship after all and it won't be with him. In any event I'm happy for him and hopes he can continue being smoke free

 

[BigRooster]

Whatcha doin in a hotel, Willard?

Work.

 

[somebodyelse]

I don't talk too much about my life, but here's the deal. Life has been kicking my ass relentlessly. it's reign of ass-kickery hasn't stopped.

I broke up with my girl but she's still in love with me.... deeply. I know she'd do anything in her power for me, and while I hate to go back, people tell me "it's just a friendly favor" I have been using her car here and there, having her pick me up from work (a much shorter drive for her). etc. etc. Staying at her house at times...

here's the problem I told her I need space and I want space and that she can see other people, i don't care. In the end, she still climbs on top of me for sex... It's been getting crazy because this last time sex went crazy.

went from cuddling and spooning to her initiating sex in the spoon position, to the Cross position, which kinda morphed to the Scissor, to Bumpercar, to Poles Apart, and finally a variation of the Crab in which she was laying flat on the bed. We're pretty active in bed, but this was very active... She came 28 times, and started crying during. I think at that point is when I knew it was bad. After the fact, she says that it was incredibly intense and that she just doesn't know if anybody will ever be able to match me.

I feel like I'm building up a whole bunch of bad Karma... I've made it clear that I don't want this relationship. When we brokeup she asked if we could be FWB. i said "no, not right now." But it turns out that's what's happening I don't want to break her heart any more than I have to, but I have to make sure my mom and I are okay... The ex sent me a text message when i left her house yesterday, "I'm still yours, even if you're not mine anymore."

*sigh*

Is there anyway this doesn't end really badly for me? I can't take much more bad sh*t in my life, lol.



In other news, I think I've come to the conclusion that love is out there for me, I just can't rush it. I want a classy, intelligent, problem solver woman that's technical-minded and into cars gotta be out there somewhere. I'm a GREAT catch and I'm starting to really think this whole "body image" thing is just a way to make people feel like sh*t for no reason. I'm me and I'll always be me

 

[MrB8]

Why do you not want to be with her?

This may not be what you want to hear, but she's crazy for you, its not easy to find love, and IF you find it, hold on to it, I would pay all my life, to spend one day with someone who'd love me, don't leave her.

 

[somebodyelse]

Sometimes love isn't enough. I'm sure there's a guy that will appreciate all she has to offer...

Honestly, I'm not that guy. I don't love her the way she should be loved, even though she loves me.

for a little perspective, she's not very artful in her manipulation tactics... she uses her son as a weapon a lot of times, which pisses me off. She requires too much attention (attention I can't afford to give her). She's one of those girls that will embarrass you in public because she talks too much when she's nervous and tells all her personal business, not withstanding the fact she talks really loud... She doesn't know boundaries because she never had to... It's like a child.

Just so many negatives, that while she loves me, I just can't love her the way she deserves to be loved, and that's not fair to her.

I felt bad until she tried some slick sh*t yesterday... Started talking about dudes she was talking to online. I told her "one sec" got up and went to the bathroom. I asked her why she was telling me these things and she just laughed like she thought I was getting jealous. I said, "I'm not getting jealous, I wouldn't tell you if I had gone on several dates in the last couple weeks, it's just bad form." She said "I know you wouldn't tell me, but I'm telling you because that's just the type of person I am."

I was like "alllllrighty" really catty stuff...she does these things she would do to lesser controlled men to make them flare up but it never worked on me... I guess "anger" is equal to love for her and she never felt I loved her as much as she did me. *shrugs*

Unnecessary Drama... that may be another reason why i can't love her like she needs to be loved.


all that said, I still feel like somewhere deep inside me, that my conscience thinks it's wrong of me to use her for her car, food and shelter

 

[MrB8]

Then maybe it would be best if you stop seeing her, time ought to help then, but as long as you are somehow together she'll have hope that she can win you back, don't let that consume her.

Good luck to you and her!

 

[someone_like_u]

Unnecessary Drama

all that said, I still feel like somewhere deep inside me, that my conscience thinks it's wrong of me to use her for her car, food and shelter

Hey JB You know I'm gonna keep it real right? :angel: I know you've been in a hard situation and seem to not be able to get your footing. You are a good guy, but you are going to have to cut ties with this girl. You can't love her the way she deserves....this you've said to me many times.

Look at it this way....sticking with her now, after the relationship is over is only unraveling all the good you've done for her in the sense of her relationships and what a good healthy relationship should be build of and all that.

Move forward and quit falling back into her arms. I know it's way easier said than done, but you gotta start somewhere.

 

[somebodyelse]

You're right SLU thanks O_O


good point!


in other news...

LMAO@Nosey Pepper... hilarious

 

[someone_like_u]

You're right SLU thanks O_O


good point!


in other news...

LMAO@Nosey Pepper... hilarious

Are you saying I'm jalapeno business? Haha!

 

[MrsLooking4more]

Somebodyelse, I have to agree with SLU and MrB8. The way you are handling things is giving her missed signals. You want to end it but you spend the night and borrow the car as needed. No wonder she still around, you think she is playing games but from her perspective, so are you.

If you want to end it, then do so. No if or buts. If you continue as you are is going to get very messy. Good Luck!

 

[somebodyelse]

And the hits keep on coming LMAO!

The positive? It'll be a whole lot easier to avoid ex-GF now...


The Negative?


I was just let go from my job the department was under performing severely. They first got rid of the "temp" workers... They'd been floating me for a while as a temp. and so the Axe finally came down. Boss came in this morning after talking with his boss.

My boss was more "upset" than me, since he's losing his helper and he's about to get swamped again since I was taking a fair brunt of the load.

*sigh*

Time to look for another job... this is gonna get dicey.

 

[Dontrike]

Good luck on that job search, hopefully your search goes easier and quicker than mine is currently.

 

[MrsLooking4more]

And the hits keep on coming LMAO!

The positive? It'll be a whole lot easier to avoid ex-GF now...


The Negative?


I was just let go from my job the department was under performing severely. They first got rid of the "temp" workers... They'd been floating me for a while as a temp. and so the Axe finally came down. Boss came in this morning after talking with his boss.

My boss was more "upset" than me, since he's losing his helper and he's about to get swamped again since I was taking a fair brunt of the load.

*sigh*

Time to look for another job... this is gonna get dicey.

Good luck on that job search, hopefully your search goes easier and quicker than mine is currently.

Good luck to you both in finding employment ASAP!

 

[Dontrike]

I am not sure if I had the dumbest idea in the world or the best one.

I was discussing a show that just had it's season finale and joked about needing to use warning about the ending to Harry Potter and someone asked what the ending was and the random thought just happened.

Voldemort's secret identity is Chandler Bing (from Friends). I then imagined him saying "Could my nose BE any smaller!"

I guess it doesn't matter how stupid it is because I laughed at it, probably a little too much.

 

[islander]

Sucks SBE. :-(
Good luck on the job hunt. Go out of your expertise if need be to get in the door. Praying for you

 

[somebodyelse]

Thanks


In a blast of good news, I'm enjoying the hell out of being single No drama, no checking in, no worrying about what's said... I talk to girls here and there, but I'm really not interested in a relationship right now. I"M FFKKREEE (Fabbio Accent)

In other news, I got my "membership stuffs" from AIA... So now with this card, i can go to the local Automotive Administration building and apply for new specialty license plates for the AIA.

Can't wait to have those special plates!

 

[islander]

Are you happy? If not then change something. If yes then keep things the same.

I am happy but I could be happier. I am always making changes hence always having something new to do, accomplish.

Every man that comes across me always end up saying that I am not open enough with my thoughts/life/things going on. I am not a stubborn person but apparently I am on this particular issue. I DONT WANT to have to replay my day. I do a lot of thinking/talking/creating and the last thing I want to do is replay that and have to do it to someone that has no clue what I have done/am doing. Thats a lot of work. Why can't he talk and me listen? Why cant we talk about current events? Why does it have to be about me?

I get the whole "helps them to feel special, secure, my number one" but can't there be another way to prove this?

When I am in a relationship I make dinner, do a lot of kisses, call when something exciting happens or could happen, if I am upset or mad I will tell them what happened that caused it best I can. I include them in all my family and friend functions, I try to include their family (if they are acceptable lol). I make plans to do stuff and offer up ton's of options not making a big deal on which ones they want to do. Sometimes 1 out of 5 it will be something I want to do. Most of the times they do what I want anyway because they too like all the options. I am a sensual woman and love intimacy and sex.

They say I dont respect them. So many of these men dont have the family I have. I am an intricate part of many of my families lives and them in mine. I am not going to share those daily conversations with others. Its too much. Sure do I have things on my mind? Yes. Can you help with me it? NO Why do I say that? Because I dont want your help. I like to do it on my own. Period. Thats me.

WTF! Why do I have to talk about me. Isn't there a man out there that can trust that just because I don't talk about who what where when and why doesn't mean I am planning some escape?

I think maybe once they learn I left my ex after 25 years and NOT for another man it scares them. Maybe I need to come up with a more thorough reason to have something to blame it on. Not lie but a better story....

UGH

 

[Dontrike]

Recently I have been given this saying quite often.

"You won't know unless you try."

And this saying got me thinking, or the close to 30 hours awake has made me a tad loony. If you don't try then won't you know what will happen?

 

[somebodyelse]

lol.

Honestly, from what I remember about your posts, it's not that you don't want to talk about mundane BS that happens through out your day, i think it's more you don't want to talk about things that bother you or things that you're mulling over that look to have you completely consumed and not in the moment.

You have to understand men are not simple creatures. We don't just see a few blow jobs, a hot meal, and a smile as enough to assuage our thinking brains when it comes to a woman that looks like she is bothered.

That said, I have been on the other side of this scenario having been the person who checks out of the room for a few minutes.

Communication is important and when you communicate, knowing what to communicate to effectively address what you're doing is of paramount importance. It's not the guy's fault for you checking out of the room at times. Give him a reason why you're checking out, even if it's to turn your brain off for a minute.

Also, be aware of the men you choose. If you don't respect his ability to think critically and to understand you, why bother?

 

[somebodyelse]

Recently I have been given this saying quite often.

"You won't know unless you try."

And this saying got me thinking, or the close to 30 hours awake has made me a tad loony. If you don't try then won't you know what will happen?

How can you know things you don't know that you don't know??? LOL!