The problem is there is no such thing as perfect so once you get to optimal you will adjust the goal line of what perfect is. You need to find confidence with out it relying on your body image..to be truly satisfied with yourself.
Men do need to do it for themselves but while they are doing it for themselves they need to take into consideration female pussies. What is perfect for mens confidence and ego is not necessarily perfect for females to use.
I think in general, pussies can strech to considerable volumes. Hell, a baby is going through there. With that said, just because it can strech to fit a baby through doesn't make that pleasing.
BUT, I think that a female that doesn't have the frame of a small asian woman, can take considerable dick. The trick is in making her aroused enough (wet) so the pussy can expand enough. As it is right now, I totally have confidence in my ability to make my gf aroused. To the point where it gets too wet and I don't feel much friction. Don't get me wrong, sex is still great and she gets off, but when we initially met she hadn't had sex for a while so she was tighter, and when it was that tight I remember how she moaned loud and pulled my neckhair as if I was her God. Now, almost a year later, she is looser and that affects both my motivation to have sex, but also my view on what I "give her". She doesn't make those sounds or those motions anymore.
Basically I believe she can take much more dick and the girls I usually get turned on by are not the smallish asian type but more like women with curves (so even if it doesn't work out with this one, the ones Ill get attracted to probably can take the same amount of dick given enough arousal). My girl has curves for being a white woman, it turns me on alot. Her being curvy in turn, probably means she can take much more "volume", especially given how wet she gets when we have sex.
And even at that, IF a woman naturally doesn't get that wet, there's always lube. I love using lube even when it is not needed. So that's actually a welcoming component, either way.
Main point is that a) The thought of filling a woman up is so powerful and so arousing that I really want to try this, especially given how much sex means to me. b) I am a very confident guy, if there is any one insecurity I might have, it is that I have an average sized cock. So if that can be worked on and I virtually completely erase my insecurities, then why not? I believe a person is much more happy and prone to success the less insecure he or she is. Win/win situation.
Besides, if nothing else then PE leads to better penile health. Which is great. Again, I completely agree with you and sadly believe that a lot of guys have a warped reason to go at this, they need to work much more on their views on women and what is expected of them, than anything else. Love, taking care and being there for your significant other is more important than any perfect cock out there (at least for a caring woman - those are the ones we should go after and not the slores).