I guess this is my sequel thread to being 20 and never being in a relationship

ryansambas

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Not looking for it has kind of been my 'move' the last 4 years and unfortunately is why I'm in this position. Can't really go out this weekend as I have work Saturday and Sunday and even then I'd have no one to go out with this weekend. That's the annoying part when most friends you have are in relationships and don't want to go out anymore and you're left with others who work some weekends, and some who are single but don't want to go out. I need more people who I can go out with and have always wanted friends like that since I was 18 who'd be willing to go out pretty much anytime but I've never had that unfortunately.
 

Glamissand1

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You have any hobbies? Look for girls doing things you like to do. Going out solo is hard/boring sometimes but can still get you a number.
 

ryansambas

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I go to the gym but other than playing sport on Mondays (with men), there isn't much I do with women involved. This has even started affecting me at the gym, I went there yesterday and couldn't do a good workout as I keep worrying about it.
 

Glamissand1

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One thing I learned early on, never compliment the womans looks or body, in the beginning. Instead complment her outfit, shoes, purse, hair style. They put a lot of effort into those things and will accept the compliment without prejudice. I use to do walk by compliments, "wow killer shoes" then on my way to the bar for a beer. Watch for looks from her, a few glances and go back to talk to her again as I go get another beer. If she looks at you when your walking up, stop and introduce yourself. Ask her and her freinds the occasion for their night out, if she lets the conversation drop, continue to the bar. Again watch her for looks of intrest. If she continues to glance at you, write your number down and drop it off at her table. Say you can see she's busy with her friends and you don't want to impose yourself. If she keeps talking your in. If not move on to a game of pool or darts " solo". Smiling and being easy going with little care for her to accept you will be your ace up the sleeve.
 

ryansambas

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Yeah, I need to do something to improve. Just I'm not going out this weekend I think unfortunately.
 

ryansambas

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I was meant to have sex this weekend in a nice hotel room (with a spa), she's 18 and hasn't had sex since she was 16 (her first time) so she's only had sex once before. However she's on her period now (she thought it'd be next week) so I'm rebooking it for next Thursday (I have work on Friday haha but not until 12pm), hoping it goes well!
 

jnetten

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I think that not being in a relationship, you are more likely prone to being clingy. Just check yourself on that often. Like you said "you dont want to dive head first". Just let everything play out and be cool man. Don't force anything, but if you see an oppurtunity than seize the moment. Just be careful man. Believe me when I say ONE BAD RELATIONSHIP can change your outlook on life. Just be careful man, and find someone who wants to be with you for YOU

this x1000

first romantic interest took my heart and stomped on it, led me on for 2 months and finally shot me down after a month of one word texts. i was too stupid to realize she was playing me, and from that point on i had a big issue with thinking i'm clingy and to not show my emotional side too often. hasnt really worked but the girl i'm with is trying to get it across to me that she isnt like the first one. it takes time
 

ryansambas

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no sex now, have the hotel room to myself. fantastic.
 

Qarzan

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23843215.jpg
 

ryansambas

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On the plus side to all of this, I've finally figured out why normal size condoms do not agree with me. I've never been able to get a full erection in one (like earlier in the year when I tried to and ended up ejaculating), I always thought it was nerves/me being turned off until I got these ones which were too tight to go past the head and the length wasn't that big, then I bought others yesterday (one normal size, one large). When I had an erection, normal size only fit because straight away it turned my penis from being hard to semi (or at least started the de-hardening pretty quickly). Put on the large ones and they fit pretty snug. Guess I should be happy :p My penis is more thick than long but hey, can't complain!
 

ryansambas

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Losing Virginity Take #111:

Should be losing it next Wednesday to a different woman, she's 29 and I'm 22. I obviously didnt tell her I'm a virgin but I said if either of us don't want to have sex after the first time, there's no pressure. At this point I just want to lose my virginity as whichever route I take (relationship or sex) seems to fall out when it's getting closed and I feel a bit cursed until I actually lose it to be honest. On the plus side theres another girl who is 23 who I am probably going on a date with the week after and we've talked sex and she isn't so much interested in a relationship straight away so she's under the impression that I'm not a virgin either so I'd rather have had sex once before I go that route with her. I really don't care much for the whole virginity needs to be special thing anymore and I feel I have good reasons for that, I have a high sex 'drive' in terms of getting horny a lot and good libido and I really just want to have sex purely. I've had no luck in 4 years so I feel it'd be wrong of others to judge me too much if I ever told them especially if they lost theirs in their teenage years.

And in terms of waiting for that other girl, I've done waiting before and put everything on hold for one girl too many times before, it's horrible because you let other girls pass a lot.

That being said, any tips? haha. I'll likely edge Sunday, Monday and Tuesday for a good hour or so each time if I can. It'll probably take me an hour and a half or so to get to hers so should I masturbate before I leave my house?

I can obviously do foreplay and oral and things like that, this girl likes being dominated though haha but I'd rather get her really wet first obviously.
 

Pegasus

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If you are not having sex she is not your girlfriend so waiting doesn't make sense.
 

ryansambas

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If you are not having sex she is not your girlfriend so waiting doesn't make sense.

I know, I'm just saying too many people think that the first time absolutely has to be 'special', whatever that means and that you'll regret not giving your first to someone you love which I think is BS, most people end up having more than one sexual partner regardless of whether they 'loved' their first or not.
 

ryansambas

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I backed out, fuck this is getting ridiculous. If only I could have sex with a virgin or someone who doesn't expect me to be very good, I feel like sh*t.
 

Qarzan

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What happened?
 

ryansambas

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I backed out because I got really nervous and anxious since obviously she wasn't a virgin and I didn't tell her I was a virgin (she even asked at one point). I felt way too nervous just to go to her house and have sex especially when she said things about 22 year olds probably only lasting 5 minutes and I'm worrying that I won't even last a full minute.

I'm still in bed at 3.10pm, I don't know what to do. I was going to call a girl today who I was going to ask out on a date but now I don't really want to, I don't even want to go to the gym or anything. I'm just constantly worrying that I'll never be good at sex or even lose my virginity, and everyone who I could lose my virginity to won't be a virgin either no matter how young you go to (the legal age here is 16, and most 17-18 year old girls have lost it by then and of course I'm 22 so....). I'll have to tell the first person I sleep with I'm a virgin most likely but that might result in no sex which involves even more waiting, all I've been doing is waiting
 

jstane45

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Wow, what a long thread, so I have to admit I didn't read it all.

I only wanted to chime in about a girl not wanting to have sex if she knows you're a virgin. Maybe that's true for some girls, but it's definitely not for some others also. I would go ahead and tell. That would relieve so much stress about it.

The girl I lost mine to was much older than me, and experienced. She loved being the first and teaching. So I say fill her in and let her take over. Just my 2 cents.
 

ryansambas

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I suppose I'll have to, I'm still upset about the last 4-5-6 years of my life and having no sex, it's affecting me so much now because I'll never get that time back. I'm 22 and I've never even had sex let alone having consistent sex like other people, I'm an outlier and not for good reasons. I just want to have a lot of sex but I'm also afraid of that first hurdle because no one will really understand what it's like to be in my position (e.g. the girls who I sleep with because 1. they won't be virgins and 2. The pressure really isn't on them to 'perform'). Getting over that first hurdle is the toughest thing, I don't care about having a relationship and all that stuff now because I just want to have sex a lot with different people and catch up on what I've missed out on.
 

Thick_Unit

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I suppose I'll have to, I'm still upset about the last 4-5-6 years of my life and having no sex, it's affecting me so much now because I'll never get that time back. I'm 22 and I've never even had sex let alone having consistent sex like other people, I'm an outlier and not for good reasons. I just want to have a lot of sex but I'm also afraid of that first hurdle because no one will really understand what it's like to be in my position (e.g. the girls who I sleep with because 1. they won't be virgins and 2. The pressure really isn't on them to 'perform'). Getting over that first hurdle is the toughest thing, I don't care about having a relationship and all that stuff now because I just want to have sex a lot with different people and catch up on what I've missed out on.

I know how that is I could have lost my when I was 14 I kind of regret not doing it then this was over 11 years ago.
I had her shirt off in under 10mins of being at the party and that was with Zero previous experience with asking anyone out etc...... my epic failure was not getting her number.
The reason why I did it was out of completeness since they were too scared to make a move.. someone had to show them and that was me.


fucked up other chance at 19,20,22,23,24.....................


damn if I had that confidence like I had when I was 14 I'd be golden..



I backed out because I got really nervous and anxious since obviously she wasn't a virgin and I didn't tell her I was a virgin (she even asked at one point). I felt way too nervous just to go to her house and have sex especially when she said things about 22 year olds probably only lasting 5 minutes and I'm worrying that I won't even last a full minute.
instead of saying that " yes I'm a virgin"
say "I have not had sex before"
" yes I've never had sex before" might be a better way to put it.
I'm a virgin might be off putting which is making you anxious..



anxious and nervous has the same meaning by the way
 
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Koh

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Just so you know, OP, you won't get better if you never start. I'm not some master at sex, but I take the chance to improve when I can. She might not even care if youre a virgin. You're overthinking so much.