Want More Sex?

[Batwoman]

So lay on Mcduff and a curse on him who first crys hold enough.

ERRMM ,I mean so continue the lesson into how to do this.

Retreat. Flourish. Enter, with drum and colours.

 

[majic]

Why don't you guys take the hint and start looking for women in places where you can at least see each other or get to know each other a bit on safe ground before starting the dating ritual? Nikki has already laid this out several times, yet you are NOT PAYING ATTENTION. Don't start with the bar scene. Start with the girls in your classes, or at the gym or the library, or the girls who watch you play ball, or the ones in church, or in the office. The girl at the lunch counter, the cutie you always see walking her dog in the park when you are out running. The nice sister of your friend, that girl you always see at the pool, the woman you buy your morning cup of coffee from. Come on! How do you start a relationship -- or get a date -- with someone in a situation like this? You happy bar studs may be doing OK, but I think a lot of guys need help with figuring out how to get started with the more accessible women in their lives.

Batwoman..we are paying attention but its not as simple as you crack it up to be...its great to have a females input and its definitely something to bear in mind but theres more to this and your missing the key ingredient. And without that key ingredient you may be no better off.

See what ups your chances with girls is that sense of "connection"/"attraction" (and attraction isnt always physical)...Those girls you outline in your class, in the office ( i cant beleive you think the office is a good idea but the bar isnt), the gym or what have you can and will shoot you down just as easily as the stranger if there is no connection/attraction. It could even be worse because they'll insult your intelligence by telling you a clear lie in the effort of being "nice"; almost like a mercy killing...we hate that.

In order to be more successful with girls guys have to learn to use their senses and pay attention to whats going on...and also remain confident. You master that and your success rates will greatly improve...and it wont matter if shes your friends friend or a stranger at a stop light (which a few of my friends have done and I could have done many times but didnt because I was attached)...

I've picked up strangers in the damndest places in record time...Its not because I'm some sort of a pick up artist because I'm not, admittedly I am considered above average in attractivness but I would say that the number one reason why I was able to do this is because I'm confident and I always paying attention to my surroundings.

 

[MrBigDick]

I've read most of the above posts and rather than respond to each one individually, I'm going to lay my thoughts out in one post:

Rubirosa: Bro, I still LOVE your posts. This one was a tad long for my personal tastes but I get what you are saying and I agree, men do need sex. Although, there are some male freaks out there, by and large yes, men need sex.......at least I know I do!!

Batwoman, Pirate99: Meeting someone at a bar?? I'm with the two of you. If you're looking for a hookup, then a bar is the place but if you want more than just a one night stand, you need to look elsewhere. I'd say there are VERY FEW couples out there who actually met at a bar. I'm not a bar fly, never have been and never will be and when I do go to a bar (happy hour with friends or whatever), I'm my typical congenial self and I'm not typically looking to meet anyone, I'm there to enjoy myself and have a drink.


I see this converation going nowhere. Men have their views and the women have theirs. This is like trying to convince the republicans that the democrats ways are right and vice versa. It's an age old argument that is simply never going to amount to anyone being right or wrong. At this stage, I think we're all beating a dead horse wouldn't you all agree?

 

[gonnagrow79]

For me it was totally a matter of choosing to focus on any possible negative thing about myself, which of course killed confidence and any courage with regards to women. I've since learned to see the many good things about myself, and I've dedicated myself to lifting weights, swimming, and so forth, things that will give me energy and give me constant confidence boosts. I was a lucky guy, I suppose, as my looks gave me more first chances than my confidence would have earned. I did manage to get married ( I'm 30 ), but as I have adjusted my perspective and gained from my exercise routine, I am much more comfortable flirting with and talking to attractive women, to the point where I find myself wondering about all the fun I could have had.

 

[majic]

. I'd say there are VERY FEW couples out there who actually met at a bar.

Its probably more than you think...its a social setting....you dont have to go with the intention of meeting someone...just go to have a good time. You combine that in a social setting and you'd be surprised what could come about.

I've picked up many girls at bars....some were short lived others were not (just like anything else).... and I never went with the intention of meeting someone.....just being my baaad self heheh lol

But I guess if you tell yourself that a bar (or anywhere else) is a bad place to meet a girl then it will manifest itself in your reality...you get what you ask for

 

[Rubirosa]

Oh God. Ladies, please stop acting like we so desperately need your help. I get the feeling you think all the guys on here are a bunch of losers. And I'm not cool with that. So that's why I have to speak up. Women who give advice to men need to realize that men aren't receptive to your advice because of the fact that you're a woman (especially when it comes to sensitive stuff like dating, where our manhood and ego is involved). We get the feeling that we're being scolded by our mothers or some sh*t. That's why I told you you need to say this stuff in a sweet way. But no, you didn't want to listen.

If you have so much experience with men, then why did you ignore Rule #1?

Mr.BigDick, the Democrats and Republicans analogy is right on the money. And I'm pissed because you said it first (it's exactly what I was thinking). 'The Battle of the Sexes' type of deal also comes to mind. It's like warfare. It is, isn't it? You're trying to divide and conquer and she's trying to batten down the hatches or something.

Point is, the feminizing of America has had dire consequences on the dating front. I'm not the first person to say this. As a matter of fact, it's been said by many. Bill Maher does a whole bit on it! Look it up on Youtube.

Batwoman, you haven't even attempted to address this issue (which is the point I was trying to make in my own characteristically obscure way) and for that, I say, "Booo."

And that girl I asked out was very complimented by my asking, by the way. After talking to her for about 15 minutes, I politely asked her out and she no, saying she had a boyfriend. But she was definitely into me and I think she respected the upfront way I put it to her. So don't get too jealous that I was talking to another girl. Don't worry, I still like you.

 

[MrBigDick]

Its probably more than you think...its a social setting....you dont have to go with the intention of meeting someone...just go to have a good time. You combine that in a social setting and you'd be surprised what could come about.

I've picked up many girls at bars....some were short lived others were not (just like anything else).... and I never went with the intention of meeting someone.....just being my baaad self heheh lol

But I guess if you tell yourself that a bar (or anywhere else) is a bad place to meet a girl then it will manifest itself in your reality...you get what you ask for

Perhaps. And if anything as I've gotten older and wiser, I should know that you can't rule any one particular place out. I've just never thought of a bar as a place where the kind of girl I eventually want to be married to would be hangin' out. Then again, one could also say "don't assume". We all know where assuming gets us now don't we?

Rubirosa, while I applaud your efforts and while I do agree with much of what you've said, you sound as though your getting a bit heated with the women folk here and I need to step in a bit and intervene.

I think this whole discussion needs to get back to the original topic that Nikki first presented which was getting more sex.

 

[majic]

I've just never thought of a bar as a place where the kind of girl I eventually want to be married to would be hangin' out. .

look at it this way...you're at the bar right? and your a good catch right? why would it be any different for girls.....

 

[Batwoman]

Rubirosa, while I applaud your efforts and while I do agree with much of what you've said, you sound as though your getting a bit heated with the women folk here and I need to step in a bit and intervene.

I think this whole discussion needs to get back to the original topic that Nikki first presented which was getting more sex.

It's OK, I was a bit snotty back there. But I guess what Mr.BD said is what I was trying to say too: if the goal is to get more dates and more sex, we need more discussion of what works! Not a lot of discussion of what is wrong with the sexes or our society. There have been some good suggestions above -- like majik's and gonnagrows and others earlier on. Themes that seem to keep popping up is that the guy needs to be self confident and he needs to pay a lot of attention to the setting (social scene, signals, other folks around). All good advice.

Something to think on: where, when, how, and whom are all aspects of getting a date/sex. Think of them as PIs for relationships. It doesn't matter if you have part of it right, if one part fails then it isn't going to work.

And about bars: if we define a relationship as something that lasts longer than a week, I have never had a relationships with a guy I met in a bar or club. I don't know anyone among my women friends -- or male friends -- who has. All of us met our mates/husbands/wives/lovers/significant others at school, work, church, or by being introduced by a friend. Maybe there are exceptions out there, and if so I would love to hear about them!

 

[MrBigDick]

look at it this way...you're at the bar right? and your a good catch right? why would it be any different for girls.....

You've got a good point majic that I can't argue with. I've just never known of anyone who met their partner at a bar is all. I think it's the whole "one night stand" stigma that's associated with going to a bar that enters my mind.

 

[majic]

Maybe there are exceptions out there, and if so I would love to hear about them!

Met my ex fiance at a night club...we were together for 2.5yrs before we broke up. I picked her up and broke out of the club in under 5 minutes ( i sh*t you not)...In not so many words I was like "hey you're sweet but I'm in a rush...give me your number and I'll give you call"...all that from simply the googly eyes that she was giving me to get me to approach her.......and she was a really sweet girl too......and hot

One of my good friends....(unbeleiveble)..... we go to a club....he meets this chick and BOOM; they were on each other like a fat kid on a smartie. The guy didnt even know me anymore, he was so into her that night LMAO...he was a write off for the balance of the night. 7 yrs later they are married and still going strong, one beautiful son and madly in love.

One of my best friends....met a really sweet girl at a club...got married the same year I did...5yrs and counting, one awesome son and happy.

.... and I'm sure theres more.....

becareful what you tell yourself...it may come true and you may miss out on something great....

 

[OlderGuy]

Barnes and Noble and Starbucks. Two great places.

 

[frb3]

Give a presentation or a lecture to a room full of people. The girls/women will fall all over your afterwards.

 

[Batwoman]

Road races (5k etc.)
The scenery is good too!

 

[Batwoman]

Met my ex fiance at a night club...we were together for 2.5yrs before we broke up. I picked her up and broke out of the club in under 5 minutes ( i sh*t you not)...In not so many words I was like "hey you're sweet but I'm in a rush...give me your number and I'll give you call"...all that from simply the googly eyes that she was giving me to get me to approach her.......and she was a really sweet girl too......and hot

One of my good friends....(unbeleiveble)..... we go to a club....he meets this chick and BOOM; they were on each other like a fat kid on a smartie. The guy didnt even know me anymore, he was so into her that night LMAO...he was a write off for the balance of the night. 7 yrs later they are married and still going strong, one beautiful son and madly in love.

One of my best friends....met a really sweet girl at a club...got married the same year I did...5yrs and counting, one awesome son and happy.

.... and I'm sure theres more.....

becareful what you tell yourself...it may come true and you may miss out on something great....

That is really interesting to hear! OK, I stand corrected. It is surprising how much personal experience can color one's perspective on these things.

 

[MrBigDick]

Barnes and Noble and Starbucks. Two great places.

This is more my speed.

Right now, I'm actually talking to this really hot chick through eHarmony. She doesn't live too far and so far, it seems as though she's rather taken with me. She's really impressed with my ability to use my words to convey my feelings and emotions and my ability to open up. I don't know, I'm just being myself. She's super hot, has 2 kids, she's 36 and is a massage therapist at a day spa.

 

[Radiohead]

This is more my speed.

Right now, I'm actually talking to this really hot chick through eHarmony. She doesn't live too far and so far, it seems as though she's rather taken with me. She's really impressed with my ability to use my words to convey my feelings and emotions and my ability to open up. I don't know, I'm just being myself. She's super hot, has 2 kids, she's 36 and is a massage therapist at a day spa.

You really like moms, dont you

 

[Nikki]

Oh God. Ladies, please stop acting like we so desperately need your help. I get the feeling you think all the guys on here are a bunch of losers. And I'm not cool with that. So that's why I have to speak up. Women who give advice to men need to realize that men aren't receptive to your advice because of the fact that you're a woman (especially when it comes to sensitive stuff like dating, where our manhood and ego is involved). We get the feeling that we're being scolded by our mothers or some sh*t. That's why I told you you need to say this stuff in a sweet way. But no, you didn't want to listen.

If you have so much experience with men, then why did you ignore Rule #1?

Mr.BigDick, the Democrats and Republicans analogy is right on the money. And I'm pissed because you said it first (it's exactly what I was thinking). 'The Battle of the Sexes' type of deal also comes to mind. It's like warfare. It is, isn't it? You're trying to divide and conquer and she's trying to batten down the hatches or something.

Point is, the feminizing of America has had dire consequences on the dating front. I'm not the first person to say this. As a matter of fact, it's been said by many. Bill Maher does a whole bit on it! Look it up on Youtube.

Batwoman, you haven't even attempted to address this issue (which is the point I was trying to make in my own characteristically obscure way) and for that, I say, "Booo."

And that girl I asked out was very complimented by my asking, by the way. After talking to her for about 15 minutes, I politely asked her out and she no, saying she had a boyfriend. But she was definitely into me and I think she respected the upfront way I put it to her. So don't get too jealous that I was talking to another girl. Don't worry, I still like you.

First of all, when I stop getting about 25 PMs a week asking for personal dating/relationship advice, then I'll believe you guys "don't desperately need our help." Secondly, neither Batwoman nor I have ever thought some of you guys were losers. Third, YOUR way to meet a girl is not necessarily going to work for every guy. Fourth, neither Batwoman nor I have scolded anyone. If you are so insecure to our suggestions, then simply avoid this thread. And, yes, Batwoman and I will continue to give advice that's "like a woman" because that's what the hell we are! Your macho attitude that a lot of women are feminists is yet another excuse as to why guys have so much difficulty connecting with women.

 

[Nikki]

Approach women you know for a date? thats easy...since you know them you can cater your approach.

I think guys need help approaching girls they dont know...more often than not your going to get involved with women who you didnt know from eve before...

And whats wrong with meeting a girl at a club/bar? This is the same girl who may go to school, be at your "church" or be someones co worker

My strategy was to simply get the inexperienced guys a few dates under their belt. That is why I suggested talking to girls they already know. After they have dated a few girls, then they obviously will start feeling more comfortable talking to girls. That is when they should try their luck with a complete stranger. To try talking/asking out a woman who has never seen you before is extremely hard to do, thus making a guy even more insecure about the entire dating process.

 

[Nikki]

It has been a while, but, if memory serves, it is pretty easy as long as you are patient. If she is some one that you know then she knows you, right? You don't have to make a big first impression. Pay attention to her and what she enjoys and what you have in common. Give her the chance to pay attention to you and learn what you like. Look for something that you can do together that you think she will enjoy and when you find it, ask her to go with you.

Good suggestions. Make her feel comfortable with you and you have a much better chance of dating her.