Want More Sex?

[Batwoman]

Hmm, well guys do you feel better after that vent?
Now you must send flowers to nikki and bw.

Flowers would be nice!

Come on guys, is it really such a problem that women might know what they want and tell you? I find it easy to believe that there are a lot of screwed up women out there, but is the problem really with women knowing their minds and wanting you to pay some attention to their needs? After centuries of men calling ALL the shots in what women did, I for one think it is a huge improvement for women to have a voice in things that affect them, from politics on down to the bedroom.

Some of you describe positive examples where you were happy with a situation -- say, a woman who wanted to have sex with you every day, or cooked your meals, or did whatever you wanted. Well, I can see all of those as great things IF THEY MADE THE WOMAN HAPPY TOO. But what if they didn't? Do you really want a woman to do things for you and not enjoy it? How much fun is daily sex with someone who doesn't want it? How much fun are meals cooked by someone who is unhappy? The truth is that good relationships come in many flavors, and the key is for BOTH participants to have their needs met as fully as possible. In the real world, this means compromising on some things. If the compromises are too much for one or the other person and both partners cannot be happy, then the relationship is doomed. We have all heard of marriages that went on and on and on "for the sake of the kids" or "because we have been together so long" or "because she can't make it without me" while in fact both parties were basically unhappy most of the time. That just sucks. What a waste of lives -- both of their lives -- to stay in such a relationship. If both partners cannot be happy, it is a failed relationship and the people in question would be better off if they freed each other to look for love elsewhere.

If you need a woman to cater to your every need in order for you to be happy, then you need to look for a woman who will enjoy that sort of thing. I am not that person, but I have no problem believing that there are plenty of women out there who would be truly happy in such a relationship. And that is just fine. What is not fine is whining about women in general being somehow warped in our society because they don't pay enough attention to the needs of men. Of course there are women out there who do not pay enough attention to the needs of their men -- just like there are plenty of men out there who do not pay enough attention to the needs of their women. It works both ways! The key is to find someone who feels the same way you do about both sex and the work of daily living. Chemistry is critical, but so is compatibility and outlook. Easier said than done, I know, but still.... don't waste your time on people that you can tell are not compatible with your basic personality.

And about women in general focussing on 5% of the guys out there.... well, as a woman i always felt like all the men were focusing on 5% of the women. Alas, I think it has always been that way. If anything is different in Europe, I think it is that they are more open about their sexuality there. The United States was founded by Puritans -- and that is still the mindset in much of our country. It is really too bad. I think organized religion in this country has a lot to answer for.

 

[MrBigDick]

I think you make very valid points Batwoman and I should clarify some of the statements I made. Yes, my ex did love to take care of me, cook meals for me, take care of my sexual needs. She loved all of it. I'm the type of person that unless my partner gets pleasure and joy out of doing things for me (i.e. making me dinner, letting me have my way with her in the bedroom, etc....) then I'd rather she didn't do those things. When my ex and I started out, she made lunches, breakfasts, dinners, desserts.........you name it, she did it ALL for me and then over the course of the 15 months we were together, I think somewhere upstairs in her mind, it all reminded her WAY too much of having to take care of me the way she did her asshole exhusband for 25 miserable years. She slowly started withdrawing all of those little niceties that I simply loved. She finally admitted that she stopped making dinners and such because after 25 years of said activity, she had simply had enough. And I told her unless SHE WANTED to do it and it made her happy, I'd rather her not do it for me then. I do not get any joy out of my partner doing something for me that she hates or can't stand simply to appease me or make me happy. If those are the conditions to which she is operating under, I'd rather she didn't do anything for me. That's just how I am.

It should also be noted that I absolutely did do things for her. For instance, I would clean the house for her from top to bottom while she was at work. I washed her car for her weekly. I took her out to dinner, gave her flowers...........I even brought her some flowers and soup when she was laid up one weekend with the flu. So I did absolutely reciprocate because I wanted to, not because I felt I had to.

My ideal partner would be a self assured, emotionally and financially healthy woman who wants to be in a loving, committed relationship. I know she's out there and I intend on finding her. While looks are important, I'm more concerned these days with what's on the inside and with what's in her heart.

 

[majic]

Flowers would be nice!

Come on guys, is it really such a problem that women might know what they want and tell you? I find it easy to believe that there are a lot of screwed up women out there, but is the problem really with women knowing their minds and wanting you to pay some attention to their needs? After centuries of men calling ALL the shots in what women did, I for one think it is a huge improvement for women to have a voice in things that affect them, from politics on down to the bedroom.

Some of you describe positive examples where you were happy with a situation -- say, a woman who wanted to have sex with you every day, or cooked your meals, or did whatever you wanted. Well, I can see all of those as great things IF THEY MADE THE WOMAN HAPPY TOO.

But Batwoman...

a) Just because you pay attention to your mans needs does not mean that you are somehow taking the back seat...but for some reason many women beleive this to be the case.

b) As I said, we are demanded of to be able to cater to womens needs...thats all you see (books, talk shows...etc); theres a disproportionate focus put on this.....and if we dont cater to these needs we are the "bad guy" and the woman will drop the man in record time; and they will be "right" and we will be "wrong"...... So if we are supposed to cater to women why cant they cater to us? Its only fair.

and yeah it should make them happy to make us happy...because it makes me happy to make them happy...and if there is a disconnect then move on

. What is not fine is whining about women in general being somehow warped in our society because they don't pay enough attention to the needs of men. Of course there are women out there who do not pay enough attention to the needs of their men -- just like there are plenty of men out there who do not pay enough attention to the needs of their women. It works both ways! The key is to find someone who feels the same way you do about both sex and the work of daily living. Chemistry is critical, but so is compatibility and outlook. Easier said than done, I know, but still.... don't waste your time on people that you can tell are not compatible with your basic personality..

Exactly... which is where this discussion of foreign women came up

 

[Nikki]

Being a teacher, it is my responsibility to teach and motivate my students. I push and challenge them to do their best which sometimes means I have to get them out of their comfort level. I feel like I am a teacher here, also. I do not allow my students in my classes to make excuses and I am not going to agree with the excuses here that some of you are making to prevent yourselves from asking out girls. At first, some of you guys made excuses about low self-esteem and inadequate penis size. Now it seems as if the newest excuse is American women are the problem.

This is really getting pathetic. You guys are feeling sorry for yourselves and in the process are getting others to feel sorry for you as well as themselves. I said in an earlier post that I realize rejection is not easy to handle when asking a girl out, but the more girls you ask out, the more comfortable you will become. I am just trying to help you guys. If you want to live your lives frustrated and lonely, no one can stop you. But you must ask youself is THAT what you really want in life?

 

[Rubirosa]

MBD, I can appreciate what you said here. And I think all men would agree.

But I also need to clarify something. There's something definitely wrong with the way men and women relate to each other in our society. This is what I am trying to shine some light on when I contribute to this thread. This gets back to the original question Nikki posed to the forum. . .what is stopping guys from dating and going out with girls?

This is a great question and one I was hoping we would have a real debate about.

I think most guys would agree that new age feminism has hurt male/female relationships. And I'm not talking about women being more vocal in a relationship. As a matter of fact, I think that's a good thing and I don't know anyone who would disagree with that. I'm talking about gender roles switching such that women are encouraged to act more like men and men like women.

Now, this can get confusing if I don't fully explain what I mean. For example, it's a real boner-killer when women who think they're being assertive start telling their men what to do in a condescending tone, nagging etc. There's no surer way to repel your man. My own father has been nagged at his entire marriage, like so many other hen-pecked husbands and it's only led to marital stress. It makes him even less likely to do what my mother wants. I'm a witness to that. What I'm saying is, women need to learn to assert themselves in a 'feminine' way that allows the man to keep his self-respect. Even just using a sweeter tone would be 100% better.

I think what some of us on this thread are hinting at is that women need to be cognizant of the fact that men need respect. Men need respect like women need love. It's a biological imperative that's written in our DNA. It can't be ignored. There are simply things that are the way they are and we have to accept it. In Spanish, the saying goes, "Dios no se quivoca" which means "God doesn't make mistakes." Men and women are inherently different. We have different needs. We need to accept that. But this discussion usually never gets off the ground because there are too many people nowadays working for the thought police who think that it's insensitive or wrong to speak critically of women.

What irks me is that a lot of guys try their best to accommodate women (like our culture teaches us) but I see no reciprocation whatsoever from said women. I see no compromise on the part of women. As a matter of fact, it seems like there are more women out there than ever who don't cook, don't clean, treat their husbands like doormats etc. And I'm tired of seeing T.V. representations of fat, lazy, stupid husbands who are the butt of all of the jokes, and wise, responsible, all-knowing women who are the mature ones in the relationship. Think "King of Queens."

So I don't think the problem is men not being nice enough to women. That's definitely not the case. Truth us, men get so many mixed signals about what women want. What we should talking about is how to create chemistry with a woman. Yes, let's at least have a conservation about that. Because without it, you're dead in the water. In order to have chemistry with a woman, you need to create a dynamic where you as the man are asserting your power over a woman. Yes, I said, 'over.' Chemistry happens when the man dominates the woman in a safe, playful way. Think about it. Think about any relationship you've ever been in. When the man takes that role as leader of the relationship, both the man and the woman are happier. Can we agree on that at?

If this comes off as 'whining about women', I frankly don't care. All I'm trying to do is have a productive conversation about an interesting topic.

 

[Batwoman]

What we should talking about is how to create chemistry with a woman. Yes, let's at least have a conservation about that. Because without it, you're dead in the water. In order to have chemistry with a woman, you need to create a dynamic where you as the man are asserting your power over a woman. Yes, I said, 'over.' Chemistry happens when the man dominates the woman in a safe, playful way. Think about it. Think about any relationship you've ever been in. When the man takes that role as leader of the relationship, both the man and the woman are happier. Can we agree on that at?

Nope, sorry, I don't agree. You cannot create chemistry -- either you have it or you don't. It's not something that "happens when a man dominates the woman in a safe, playful way." That may follow from good chemistry, but it does not constitute it. Chemistry is the magic that is there between two people sometimes. It is wonderful when you can act on it, and can be really hard to deal with when you cannot. Maybe you have experienced it in your life, maybe you haven't. Trust me: it is not something you have any control over whatsoever. When it is strong, it is undeniable.

Chemistry can also change over time in long term relationships. Sometimes it drifts away, sometimes it grows stronger. It is not the same thing as love, although the two things can go together. Neither is it the same thing as lust, although those often go together too. I may not be doing a very good job of describing what I mean, but I hope you will understand. If you have ever experienced really good chemistry with a partner, you know exactly what I mean.

And about the man taking the role as leader in a relationship: sure, that can be wonderful sometimes. But sometimes not. It really depends entirely on the personalities of the people involved. If you feel that you need to be the dominant one in any relationship, then that's fine: look for a submissive woman. But don't label women who don't want that -- or men who may prefer a dominant partner -- as somehow wrong. Sometimes the strong seek out the strong, and that can be wonderful too. There are many different routes to happiness, not just the standard ones. I definitely don't agree that "When the man takes that role as leader of the relationship, both the man and the woman are happier" is something that is uniformly true.

 

[MrBigDick]

I can totally appreciate what Rubirosa is saying and I can also agree with Batwoman. I do agree that there tends to be an ever changing dynamic in the traditional male/female roles. In todays society, SOME women do seem to get off treating their boyfriends or husbands like doormats. They have this whole "Oh HELL no, I aint cookin' for no man, I aint cleanin' for no man, no sir, he can cook and clean for me!". And while I know that this doesn't apply to all women, I was married to a woman who had these sentiments and there's a reason we're divorced. I got sick and fucking tired of being treated like a pile of dog sh*t who was solely viewed as a sperm doner for her kids!! She is still a control freak to this day and still tries to dominate and control certain facets of my life ( for instance, I buy a new car, she gets pissed off because she can't buy one. Next thing I know I'm getting a summons in the mail to go back to child support court so she can get more money out of me. Her mentality? "If he can afford a new car, he can give me more money!". Sorry, that's fucked up and go earn your own damn income!

Again, THIS DOES NOT apply to all women and I've dated several since then who didn't share this mentality and who were decent, good women. However, I think as a whole, this ideology of "let's screw him over in court!" is the way it is now.

I also agree with Batwoman. Chemistry cannot be created (at least imo, it cannot). Either you have it or you don't. I don't think that a woman is necessarily happy when a man takes charge and assumes the leadership role. If they're anything like my ex wife, they resent it and hate it. Chemistry is either there or it's not, period. Although, when you're internet dating, how someone can view your profile and determine there's no chemistry without actually having met the person is beyond me but whatever.

 

[Pegasus]

We live in a time of social change, this will allways cause issues.

Have the more mature members noticed though, 30 years ago ,if you opened a door for a woman, you might get "I have arms" or " I am not crippled" or some such. That hasn't happened to me in many years.

 

[majic]

MBD, I can appreciate what you said here. And I think all men would agree.

But I also need to clarify something. There's something definitely wrong with the way men and women relate to each other in our society. This is what I am trying to shine some light on when I contribute to this thread. This gets back to the original question Nikki posed to the forum. . .what is stopping guys from dating and going out with girls?

This is a great question and one I was hoping we would have a real debate about.

I think most guys would agree that new age feminism has hurt male/female relationships. And I'm not talking about women being more vocal in a relationship. As a matter of fact, I think that's a good thing and I don't know anyone who would disagree with that. I'm talking about gender roles switching such that women are encouraged to act more like men and men like women.

Now, this can get confusing if I don't fully explain what I mean. For example, it's a real boner-killer when women who think they're being assertive start telling their men what to do in a condescending tone, nagging etc. There's no surer way to repel your man. My own father has been nagged at his entire marriage, like so many other hen-pecked husbands and it's only led to marital stress. It makes him even less likely to do what my mother wants. I'm a witness to that. What I'm saying is, women need to learn to assert themselves in a 'feminine' way that allows the man to keep his self-respect. Even just using a sweeter tone would be 100% better.

I think what some of us on this thread are hinting at is that women need to be cognizant of the fact that men need respect. Men need respect like women need love. It's a biological imperative that's written in our DNA. It can't be ignored. There are simply things that are the way they are and we have to accept it. In Spanish, the saying goes, "Dios no se quivoca" which means "God doesn't make mistakes." Men and women are inherently different. We have different needs. We need to accept that. But this discussion usually never gets off the ground because there are too many people nowadays working for the thought police who think that it's insensitive or wrong to speak critically of women.

What irks me is that a lot of guys try their best to accommodate women (like our culture teaches us) but I see no reciprocation whatsoever from said women. I see no compromise on the part of women. As a matter of fact, it seems like there are more women out there than ever who don't cook, don't clean, treat their husbands like doormats etc. And I'm tired of seeing T.V. representations of fat, lazy, stupid husbands who are the butt of all of the jokes, and wise, responsible, all-knowing women who are the mature ones in the relationship. Think "King of Queens."

So I don't think the problem is men not being nice enough to women. That's definitely not the case. Truth us, men get so many mixed signals about what women want. What we should talking about is how to create chemistry with a woman. Yes, let's at least have a conservation about that. Because without it, you're dead in the water. In order to have chemistry with a woman, you need to create a dynamic where you as the man are asserting your power over a woman. Yes, I said, 'over.' Chemistry happens when the man dominates the woman in a safe, playful way. Think about it. Think about any relationship you've ever been in. When the man takes that role as leader of the relationship, both the man and the woman are happier. Can we agree on that at?

If this comes off as 'whining about women', I frankly don't care. All I'm trying to do is have a productive conversation about an interesting topic.

Preach on my latin brotha

 

[majic]

Being a teacher, it is my responsibility to teach and motivate my students. I push and challenge them to do their best which sometimes means I have to get them out of their comfort level. I feel like I am a teacher here, also. I do not allow my students in my classes to make excuses and I am not going to agree with the excuses here that some of you are making to prevent yourselves from asking out girls. At first, some of you guys made excuses about low self-esteem and inadequate penis size. Now it seems as if the newest excuse is American women are the problem.

This is really getting pathetic. You guys are feeling sorry for yourselves and in the process are getting others to feel sorry for you as well as themselves. I said in an earlier post that I realize rejection is not easy to handle when asking a girl out, but the more girls you ask out, the more comfortable you will become. I am just trying to help you guys. If you want to live your lives frustrated and lonely, no one can stop you. But you must ask youself is THAT what you really want in life?

But see Nikki this is my point.... we try to tell women what we like and then we get branded as "whiny" or as "complainers". All we are doing is telling you what we like. Now if we flipped the script (like what is going on every day) and have the women tell us what they like....god help us if we call them "whiny" because they are trying to "educate" us lol.

I only bring this up because if guys dont start noticing what is actually going on here so that they know to put their foot down they are going to be head towards a life of hen pecked hell...AND no sex.

All we are saying is we dont get this sort of thing with foreign women (more often than not)...so....if you want more sex and more relationship happiness...go for foreign women...and they are everywhere (depending on the city you live in) so its not a problem.

Its nothing against you and Batwoman...maybe you're different; again I never said "all"....but if you want to play the odds, you have better chances in the foriegn market is all

 

[Rubirosa]

As far as creating chemistry with women out of thin air, there's an entire online seduction community out there who've made a business out of teaching how to do it (pick-up artists etc). And I've tried it myself and it works. As the woman, I imagine that you see the end result of a good-looking, charming guy making friendly conversation with you. But the fact is, that guy had to learn how to accentuate his attributes, dress well, project masculine qualities, think of interesting conversation topics or 'become' a more interesting person etc. Whichever way he does it, through trial and error, or reading books about it, is irrelevant. There's a learning curve with every guy. Guys aren't born with this ability. It's just that some guys have early success with it, which helps build their confidence faster than other guys, giving them an edge. It's kind of like working at a restaurant. When you were just a customer, you didn't get to see everything that went into making and preparing the food. As a waiter/waitress, you got to see the hairy chef with the mullet and trucker cap clearing his throat and stirring your soup.

How can you say that a guy can't create chemistry with a woman? I definitely notice that I attract different women depending on how I behave at any given moment. If I'm tired and out of it, I start attracting tired, out of it girls. If I'm funny and interesting and full of energy, I start to attract these types of girls. If I dress a certain way, certain women will be into me and not others. This is exactly why chemistry changes over time for a couple. Because the guy usually can't keep up the charade. Eventually, he wants to relax and be accepted for who he is. The same goes for women. When women exude attractive qualities and dress a certain way, the chemistry quotient is there. How else do you explain that Canadian guy who won first place on the moguls in Vancouver getting absolutely smothered by his girlfriend during his T.V. interview? He upped his chemistry quotient by winning at something and women like that. To say that you don't have any control over chemistry as a guy doesn't make sense. For example, growing up as a guy, you learn pretty quickly that you can up your chemistry quotient by dominating other guys. If you're the type of guy who can make other guys look bad in various ways so that you look better by comparison, women seem to like that. But I'm not even talking about all that.

I'm talking about choosing amongst the women available so that you have more of an opportunity, or likelihood to 'have' chemistry with that special someone. For example, choose a younger girl. Boom, chemistry right there. Why? Because she'll be more intrigued with your 'maturity' and level of worldliness. And you'll feel elevated by comparison. Or choose a shorter girl. Boom, more chemistry. I don't know about the other guys on here, but when I'm with a girl who is daintier, let's say, I feel more of an attraction to her because my biology is telling me that she's more feminine, and our size-difference makes me feel more manly and sexy. Or choose a girl who has the opposite personality. That can sometimes create chemistry.

If I'm really saying something off-base here, don't just tell me how I'm 'totally wrong'. At least offer up some comparable advice. If it really is true that guys have to wait around for chemistry to happen, then what are some ways it can maximized? Is it just a waiting game then? What would you suggest guys do?

And yes, I understand that I don't speak for 100% of the men or women out there. There are always exceptions (e.g. women who like meek, timid men, or men who like hateful, domineering women). But I can bet that these types are not the norm. And what's more, I can say that every happy couple I've seen has had the characteristic of the man being genuinely respected by the woman and him reciprocating that love.

 

[Batwoman]

Rubirosa, I think the problem is that we are talking about two different things. You're talking about initial attraction, and I agree that there are lots of things that can be done to change that (since it is largely about presentation). When I say "chemistry" I mean the deep attraction that pulls two people together long after the initial getting-to-know you phase is over -- the sort of thing that can lead you to fly 3000 miles across the country just to spend 2 hours in bed with someone you've known for years (something I have done). There is nothing short-term or "teachable" about that kind of chemistry.

It is undoubtedly true that guys can learn tricks to stimulate attraction with ladies, and that can doubtless get you sex. But I don't think either partner is ever fooled for long if it is all about tricks and not real.

As for chemistry changing over time "because the guy usually cannot keep up the charade" I think you are just naive (and please don't be offended by this) -- that is youth talking. When you've experienced relationships that last for years, or a decade or more, you'll likely understand more of what I mean. Long-term relationships are usually founded on the expectation that the joy and chemistry will stay the same forever, but sometimes it doesn't. I have experience that, too, and it is really sad to feel the chemistry slip out of your relationship or marriage no matter how hard you try to keep it. But it is a total joy to have a long-term relationship with strong chemistry because it makes sex and everything else better.

So -- I think we need to separate the initial excitement of attraction (and how to attract dates/sex partners) from the deeper kind of chemistry that can change your life.

How can you better attract women with whom you have good chemistry? First of all, I think the key is to be real -- don't try to be someone you aren't. Highlight your good qualities, dress well, pay attention to hygiene, be confident, and pay attention to women that interest you. If you don't feel a spark, don't try to create one.

Yes, it is a waiting game in a sense. But the best way to maximize your chances of meeting somebody who will click with you is to meet LOTS of women. That means getting out a lot. Personally I think women prefer men that they meet outside the meat-market of bars and clubs -- it is less threatening. So look for ways to meet girls at your school, gym, church, grocery store, whatever. Friends of your family, friends of friends. Talk with girls as much as you can and keep it light. Have fun, and don't focus every thought about a new girl on whether or not she wants to have sex with you. Be friends with girls, get comfortable with them, and then it will be easier to have fun dates even with people that you don't end up seeing again. If you relax, you are a lot more likely to be successful.

 

[kingpole]

This is great Batwoman, Rubisoa desvribes step one, intitial atraction, you descrbe step two intermediate atraction.

Im going to descrbe step 3:.

When he chenmisrty fades and one no longer loves his or her spouse. If both persons i the reelationship are williing step three can begin but it takes discipline. And steadfastness and determination to start a new chemistry. A couple can fall in love again. There are some long term relationshhips that do just this. Then there are others stuck in step 2.

Step 3 requires making new chemistry, finding new reasons to love again to re unite a dieing relationship. Finding new superlatives that rebind the relatioinshhip. You return to step 1 to begin step 3. Start dating the same person again. go out to dinner and a movie, rent a hotel room.

Get rid of bad old memeories and forget your partners sins. Learn to forgive and love again. holding grudges can end a relationship in step two. Step three is a willingness to start all over again.

 

[Batwoman]

This is great Batwoman, Rubisoa desvribes step one, intitial atraction, you descrbe step two intermediate atraction.

Im going to descrbe step 3:.

When he chenmisrty fades and one no longer loves his or her spouse. If both persons i the reelationship are williing step three can begin but it takes discipline. And steadfastness and determination to start a new chemistry. A couple can fall in love again. There are some long term relationshhips that do just this. Then there are others stuck in step 2.

Step 3 requires making new chemistry, finding new reasons to love again to re unite a dieing relationship. Finding new superlatives that rebind the relatioinshhip. You return to step 1 to begin step 3. Start dating the same person again. go out to dinner and a movie, rent a hotel room.

Get rid of bad old memeories and forget your partners sins. Learn to forgive and love again. holding grudges can end a relationship in step two. Step three is a willingness to start all over again.

Interesting idea, but I am not sure I believe that you can make new chemistry. What if there is nothing to forgive and no grudges, just a resounding loss of interest? When two partners are fighting a lot and have lost the ability to enjoy each other -- yet there is still real sexual tension (= chemistry) between them -- then I absolutely believe that they might be able work things out by getting over the petty grudges and re-focusing on each other and what they have together. But when when two people get along just fine but the spark is gone -- I don't think there is a cure for that.

 

[kingpole]

Interesting idea, but I am not sure I believe that you can make new chemistry. What if there is nothing to forgive and no grudges, just a resounding loss of interest? When two partners are fighting a lot and have lost the ability to enjoy each other -- yet there is still real sexual tension (= chemistry) between them -- then I absolutely believe that they might be able work things out by getting over the petty grudges and re-focusing on each other and what they have together. But when when two people get along just fine but the spark is gone -- I don't think there is a cure for that.

Now were talking hormones here. Hormones are the igniter of sexual desire. Both people in the relationship are likely depleted. Examine your nutrition and physical fitness. Nutriton and physical fitness can revamp your desire. If that don't work there is ginkgo biloba which is considered a true aphrodesiac. It not only increaees circualtion to the genitials it also makes you horny.

Next level, level five. The spiritual realm of love this goes beyond the physical.

 

[UKGuy]

WHY dont more women approach guys?....well I'll answer my own question for you....I've had this discussion with many woman and you know why they dont approach guys? because THEY dont want to deal with the potential rejection so they push it off to the guys to endure because they can afford to do this......and then say "why dont more guys approach us?"....can you beleive that?

Well there is that old beleif that men should approach women, and always the men. However women do approach men. It has happened to me a few times when I was actually confident at the time. All I would do is gaze at them and a minute later they would move closer to me (my time to move closer as well). This happened when I was in New York when I was in a store I gazed at this woman serving behind the counter and a few minutes later she standing near me giving me the "bedroom eyes", "sexual gaze" whatever you want to call it. I guess then I was giving off some sexual vibe.

I am far from a expert but I have been fortunate enough to learn from a "natural" a ladies man. He says there is no magic pill to becoming good with women, basically you being good with women is a by-product of you being great yourself. This may sound simple but very few men really do it, work on yourself to be the best man you can be. He says a man who is great with women has prescence you need to make a prescence if you want women to notice you in a bar/club or any type of venue. To have prescence is a certain style (what looks good on you), body language (projecting yourself as a confident man), and then the mindset. He says the mindset is probably the most important part of attracting women. A lot of men don't view themself as attractive, sexy and a man women actually want to fuck. So therefore you need to change the way you think and how you view yourself. Basically change your self image. Men who get a lot of women view themselves as the prize. They think and feel diferently about themselves compared to most men. Typically a lot of guys put women up on the pedestal as the prize yet they don't feel sexually desirable themself. They don't respect their power as a man and that they are just as much the prize as women. It's not arrogance it's the natural way of things for a man to be comforable and express his sexuality. Women are sexually desirable but most men today just don't see themselves as being sexual creatures and we are sexual by nature obviosuly. Sexual confidence in men I think for the past few decades has been repressed. My opinion is Feminism back in the 60's (well before I was even born but I know some of my history) slowly killed off the sexually desirable man, and now we have a lot of men just wanting to kiss up to women, be submissive and it's looked down upon now to be macho or manly (yet it's what women respond to most in men). I know I am not alone here just look at that Metrosexual bullshit some years back and constant attempts from society to feminize men. At least I can say I never bought into this bullshit of being more "feminine". I am a man obviously, it's in my/your nature to be masculine and manly all this feminization of men is bullshit and it isn't natural, it goes against naturel and it's as simple as that period I don't give a damn what society says.

I know I have wrote a lot here but I am very serious about this subject the feminization of men and decline of masculinity is very real.

 

[majic]

). I know I am not alone here just look at that Metrosexual bullshit some years back and constant attempts from society to feminize men. At least I can say I never bought into this bullshit of being more "feminine".

Same here... I took a stand against that "Metrosexual" noise too

 

[Pirate]

Unfortunately, there is no magical spell or catchy phrase that is going to make a female hop in bed with you. In my time here and at Betterman's there seems to be a high correlation with guys who have confidence in themselves, being outgoing, funny and humorous, and willing to talk to women. These guys seem to be very successful in going out with women and subsequently having sex with them.

On the other hand, there seems to be a high correlation with guys who wallow in self-pity, obsess over their penis size and make excuse after excuse to not ask girls out, also. These guys get very few dates, which obviously leads to less sex.

I am not trying to make anyone feel bad; on the contrary, I am trying to help some of you. Don't get discouraged if you have one or more bad experiences with a female. Use it as a learning tool and then go out and ask another girl out. Remember, some girls are petty, spiteful bitches. Don't let them destroy your self-confidence or get you to believe that all women act the way they do.

I would like some input as to why it is so hard to do the above. Or, is it more fun to sit in front of a computer screen and masturbate to porn than to go out and meet a girl and create your own porn?

I came from a family of all boys and was pretty shy with girls as a teenager. I was terrified of making a fool of myself and then having everyone at school know about it. (As I got older, I did realize that no one at school cared because they were all as self-centered and self-aborbed as I was.)
However, in my senior year of HS, when I knew that I would be leaving for college and probably would never live in that town again I figured, "What the hell. If I am going to make a total fool out of myself this is the perfect time to do it since I am outta here in a couple of months anyway!" So I started talking to just about every girl that I came across and saying anything that came to mind that was nice. "I like your earrings." "You have the sweetest smile." "Nice shoes." Etc. I learned something really important: if you say nice things and mean them and have no expectations about getting a reaction or a compliment in return then you are giving a gift and, most girls, love it. And if some don't, so what?
The awkward part is not when you talk to the girl, it is when you stand there waiting for her to say something back. So do the first part and skip the second part. Talk to her while you are doing something else or are on your way to do something else. If she is impressed and wants more, she will let you know and together you will find a way. If she doesn't want more of you, no problem, you were on your way to do something else anyway and were just saying somethin gnice because you are that kind of guy.
Practice!
Prectice!
Practice!

 

[MrBigDick]

Well there is that old beleif that men should approach women, and always the men. However women do approach men. It has happened to me a few times when I was actually confident at the time. All I would do is gaze at them and a minute later they would move closer to me (my time to move closer as well). This happened when I was in New York when I was in a store I gazed at this woman serving behind the counter and a few minutes later she standing near me giving me the "bedroom eyes", "sexual gaze" whatever you want to call it. I guess then I was giving off some sexual vibe.

I am far from a expert but I have been fortunate enough to learn from a "natural" a ladies man. He says there is no magic pill to becoming good with women, basically you being good with women is a by-product of you being great yourself. This may sound simple but very few men really do it, work on yourself to be the best man you can be. He says a man who is great with women has prescence you need to make a prescence if you want women to notice you in a bar/club or any type of venue. To have prescence is a certain style (what looks good on you), body language (projecting yourself as a confident man), and then the mindset. He says the mindset is probably the most important part of attracting women. A lot of men don't view themself as attractive, sexy and a man women actually want to fuck. So therefore you need to change the way you think and how you view yourself. Basically change your self image. Men who get a lot of women view themselves as the prize. They think and feel diferently about themselves compared to most men. Typically a lot of guys put women up on the pedestal as the prize yet they don't feel sexually desirable themself. They don't respect their power as a man and that they are just as much the prize as women. It's not arrogance it's the natural way of things for a man to be comforable and express his sexuality. Women are sexually desirable but most men today just don't see themselves as being sexual creatures and we are sexual by nature obviosuly. Sexual confidence in men I think for the past few decades has been repressed. My opinion is Feminism back in the 60's (well before I was even born but I know some of my history) slowly killed off the sexually desirable man, and now we have a lot of men just wanting to kiss up to women, be submissive and it's looked down upon now to be macho or manly (yet it's what women respond to most in men). I know I am not alone here just look at that Metrosexual bullshit some years back and constant attempts from society to feminize men. At least I can say I never bought into this bullshit of being more "feminine". I am a man obviously, it's in my/your nature to be masculine and manly all this feminization of men is bullshit and it isn't natural, it goes against naturel and it's as simple as that period I don't give a damn what society says.

I know I have wrote a lot here but I am very serious about this subject the feminization of men and decline of masculinity is very real.

This post is the epitome of how I feel each and every day but it's taken me YEARS to get to this point. As for the whole "metrosexual" bullshit, I guess I view it differently and I'm very much a man in every sense of the word. I take care of myself and I make no apologies for it. I have no problem getting my hands dirty working underneath the hood of my car and I have no problem sitting at a day spa, getting pampered like a fucking king getting my hands and feet taken care of by a couple of hot Vietnamese women. No problem at all. I can then leave the spa, go to the bar across the street, throw back a cold one and watch some football. No problem at all. And I think it's how I feel inside and the positive energy I give off that attracts women to me.

For instance, I just joined that friggin' eHarmony site. I've been getting matched up left and right. I closed one match the other night and the woman actually emailed me and asked me to reconsider because she felt we had potential. The old me NEVER would've had that happen. The new, improved me who's a happy fuckin' guy inside? Oh yeah, it's on baby............

 

[Batwoman]

I love the way this thread keeps going back and forth!

There seem to be two themes that run through it all:
(1) you have to be happy with yourself to be happy with a partner; and
(2) you have to work at it if you want to accomplish anything.

Practice!
Practice!
Practice!