Well it started out as just a sexual dream, then it turned into a porn related dream, but it was like I was there while it was happening, not watching behind a computer.
The AP90 (Anti-Porn)
- Thread starter Cockadoodle
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Well it started out as just a sexual dream, then it turned into a porn related dream, but it was like I was there while it was happening, not watching behind a computer.
HansTwilight
Retired Moderator, PE Gym Editor, Member of the M
Day 20
May have had a bit of a flatline, butwhen I start masturbating I get aroused. I have been masturbating to facebook pictures of girls I know but I think I will begin to cut this out and do no artificial stimulation. I still haven't been getting morning erections nor am I waking up with a lot of libido but i will keep going to see what happens. It appears that the binge I had almost 2 months ago really set me back. I am feeling hopeful in all of this. I will also try a 2 week reboot to see if that helps me at all.
May have had a bit of a flatline, butwhen I start masturbating I get aroused. I have been masturbating to facebook pictures of girls I know but I think I will begin to cut this out and do no artificial stimulation. I still haven't been getting morning erections nor am I waking up with a lot of libido but i will keep going to see what happens. It appears that the binge I had almost 2 months ago really set me back. I am feeling hopeful in all of this. I will also try a 2 week reboot to see if that helps me at all.
Day 52
I thought I'd give a bit of a recap here after having done the challenge incognito for the past weeks. I had never used porn daily nor it was anything other than vanilla, though it was a constant weekly presence, my libido was terrible/non existent and I did feel a bit miserable too at times with low EQ.
As of today I have noticed vast improvements in EQ, morning wood still seems elusive, better mood and libido is improving, though it's not at the level I'd like it to be. One small step...
I thought I'd give a bit of a recap here after having done the challenge incognito for the past weeks. I had never used porn daily nor it was anything other than vanilla, though it was a constant weekly presence, my libido was terrible/non existent and I did feel a bit miserable too at times with low EQ.
As of today I have noticed vast improvements in EQ, morning wood still seems elusive, better mood and libido is improving, though it's not at the level I'd like it to be. One small step...
Wednesday, September 20, 2017
Recent milestone: 120 day coin won!
My libido has been flux on and off. I have been battling thoughts of temptation especially with one church member who I'm attracted to. I need to be careful about viewing or truthfully seeking Craigslist ads too. Sigh...the challenges of libido.
Recent milestone: 120 day coin won!
My libido has been flux on and off. I have been battling thoughts of temptation especially with one church member who I'm attracted to. I need to be careful about viewing or truthfully seeking Craigslist ads too. Sigh...the challenges of libido.
Last night just watched a gif of two girls shaking their ass in things and jerked it to it so force that counts. No nudity, but I realized it triggers the same feeling. So I'm counting it. Day 1 tomorrow...again. Third times a charm, right? 
^^ excuse the typos and random words that don't make sense in the sentence lol. Always posting from my phone so autocorrect
Day 1.... it was 3 weeks ago i had my last AM erection. I am off the disgusting fetishes I have acquired and that is why i am flat lining hard right now I Think. I need to get to 1 month at least !!!!!!!!!!! I will give myself a nice big black ass as a treat if i make it to the 1 month mark. LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Awesome work
well done!Couldn't agree more. In the early days for me it was a case of actively resisting temptation with encouragement to myself and willpower. Then I think over time, like I said in my last post, you stop seeing porn for the temptation it once was and it starts to become a caricature. I haven't watched any since, but now I feel like it would be like watching a weird puppet show. (to make it clear, I'm not aroused by puppets!!) There comes a turning point where real, live girls stop being viewed as "not as hot" as pornstars, and instead start to take shape and presence when you're around them, and become much more attractive. I think for me it happened subconsciously whereas for The Iron it's a conscious thing, but I think it's a part of the rewire process whether proactive or reactive. It's a good feeling and a good concept raised by The Iron.
Also, well done for your impressive No PMO streak man!
No. Only deal with what you can control.
[pseudo-science incoming, brace yourselves...]
Your brain's circuitry is still firing along the same pathways that it has used for months/years of porn use, hence why you are getting those dreams. I said in an earlier post, our brains are wonderfully plastic in that they can change their pathways, but it doesn't happen overnight (excuse the pun). It takes time. You cannot control your dreams though, and therefore shouldn't build it into your AP90 as far as I'm concerned. It's an after-effect of the way your brain is wired, and will fade as time goes on. (Although after 1004 days, I still get sex dreams from time to time. We're human, after all!) I would suggest the following instead: think of it more in a "huh, that's interesting" way. Take the way you felt during and after the dream, and use it as a test of willpower to carry on your AP90 over the following few days without acting upon the images/feelings from your dream. Keep going.
Consistent masturbation (depending on how often) kills my morning wood too. Especially if you're masturbating to pictures of girls you know. My own belief - yours may differ - is that those pictures are no different to any other form of using the internet to masturbate.
[second wave of pseudo-science incoming...]
You mentioned "pictures" of "girls", plural. That suggests to me you may be flicking from a picture of one girl, to another of her, or to another girl, and keep going until you've seen quite a few girls and certainly a variety of pictures. This is your brain searching for novelty, which is what keeps your arousal and dopamine levels so high (from what I remember reading), which is why people call it "chasing the high". This is, in my humble opinion, no better for you than flicking through multiple pictures or videos of girls you don't know. The end result is the same - a hyper-fast stream of novelty designed to excite your brain and libido, which doesn't give your brain chance to reset and rewire to the real thing. Our brains weren't designed to process the amount of novel stimulation you're giving yours in such a short space of time, which is why, again in my humble opinion, you might be struggling with the point you're at, and coincidentally why morning wood isn't fully forthcoming. Have you read yourbrainonporn? It's where I learned about this stuff, and can probably explain it better than I can when I'm typing this and late for work haha.
This is how it's done. You know what's up my man, you can recognise when you need to check your behaviour, and count something as a streak reset. You have the right attitude... so keep going. "You never fail until you stop trying" - Albert Einstein
Congrats for setting yourself a target! However, my biggest relapse was when I went a month without porn or masturbation, got proud of myself, and decided to test to see if I was still addicted to porn... by masturbating to porn. Very bad idea dude, I would strongly caution you about it! Instead, I think you should get to 1 month, as you planned, and when you get there congratulate yourself by doing something rewarding that you like, but from another aspect of your life - for me I'd go for a long day at the beach, or go to the local car meet, or something like that. Nothing too major, because I wouldn't want to attach too much significance to the 30-day mark, or jeopardise my current progress by getting really drunk and losing my inhibitions etc.
1 month is a great achievement, but this should be a lifestyle change, not a temporary break in a long-term habit.
For anyone interested, some of the old works on stoicism are really good with this sort of mindset. Seneca, Marcus Aurelius. They've got books on Amazon nearly 2000 years after they died, so they must have done something right... oh, and they don't mention big black asses
1004 days no porn, working on day 1005
3 days no MO, working on day 4
Have a good day all,
G x
Day 1 no porn. More motivated than ever now. Also day 1 of no masturbating as well...as long as my girlfriend and I are together at least. I only see her on weekends (Friday, sat, sun) so have to go Monday through Thursday without it. That in combination with no porn and PE should make my EQ and sex life even bette than it already is.
Today has been very difficult, I saw an image of a girl making an orgasm face as somebodies profile picture on a video game and it triggered my depression, anxiety, and obsessive thinking.
So exhausted from the mental stress.
So exhausted from the mental stress.
hey guys, I've always found it pretty difficult to get hard without the use of porn, for several years now, and I'm in my early 20s. I rarely get morning wood, or night wood.
So I'm wondering if anyone with similar experience has gone through jelqing and getting hard enough to jelq, or edge, without porn.
I'm thinking about using ASMR, auditory porn I guess, but it's a step up.
So I'm wondering if anyone with similar experience has gone through jelqing and getting hard enough to jelq, or edge, without porn.
I'm thinking about using ASMR, auditory porn I guess, but it's a step up.
Yes I have dealt with flat line while jelqing etc. You just have to stay the course. Don't cheat yourself with something that substitutes for porno but is still porn. Be patient you will beat porno if you are patient.
Friday, September 22, 2017
Yesterday I had to deal with my brat nature. I admit that I did view fan service anime and looked (due to curiosity) at a lady's pubic hairs as well as a vulva. I was rebellious. I get this way when I'm bored.
I don't consider this a slip to porn because I didn't view any hardcore porn. Still, I need to be careful because allowance in one area can be justified to go more and more. No excuses...only adjustments.
Yesterday I had to deal with my brat nature. I admit that I did view fan service anime and looked (due to curiosity) at a lady's pubic hairs as well as a vulva. I was rebellious. I get this way when I'm bored.
I don't consider this a slip to porn because I didn't view any hardcore porn. Still, I need to be careful because allowance in one area can be justified to go more and more. No excuses...only adjustments.
I hope you're able to get back up on the wagon and keep moving forward with your goals.
For me, since I'm more of a Naturist/Nudist/Exhibitionist, I'm able to separate the sexual in nude company. The key is to retrain your mind into thinking on its own when you fantasize if you do need to do a release.
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Day 16 PMO-free for me. It hasn't been too hard yet, but I've never gone more than 3 weeks without since I started. I'd either give in to my depression wanting to feel good, lose sight of the purpose and give up, or just "test" to see if everything was still working. This time I don't just *want* to quit; I have *decided* to quit. At least until the reboot phases are complete.
Reading up on the brain chemistry behind PMO abuse, it's clear to me a successful reboot will require as close as possible to zero activation of the existing reward pathways. That means being aware of arousal, fantasies and urges the moment they arise, and either dismissing them or finding distractions.
The longer those thoughts fester in your mind, the more credence you give them. The more thoughts and emotions you continue to associate with PMO, the longer its remnants will linger. Even if you win the debate this time, having engaged in it validates relapse as an option, and you'll have to repeat the same debate next time.
Treat your lust like an internet troll. Do not feed it. Do not engage it. Dismiss it not with debate, but by ignoring it until it withers and dies.
You are no longer someone who PMOs.
Reading up on the brain chemistry behind PMO abuse, it's clear to me a successful reboot will require as close as possible to zero activation of the existing reward pathways. That means being aware of arousal, fantasies and urges the moment they arise, and either dismissing them or finding distractions.
The longer those thoughts fester in your mind, the more credence you give them. The more thoughts and emotions you continue to associate with PMO, the longer its remnants will linger. Even if you win the debate this time, having engaged in it validates relapse as an option, and you'll have to repeat the same debate next time.
Treat your lust like an internet troll. Do not feed it. Do not engage it. Dismiss it not with debate, but by ignoring it until it withers and dies.
You are no longer someone who PMOs.
Posted 5 days ago (pc stopped working so i've been off the forum.
'' this new mindset works by refusing to give imagination to pixels. If I wished, I could label porn as prostitutes and it will work too but I prefer to label everything porn as non-people. To me this works so perfectly that it does not even trigger my curiosity - I have zero interest in staring at objects let alone getting sexual with it. ''
Yes 100%... i have a mindset of as soon as i see something sexual i give it no imagination... i click off and do something else. I know for a fact if a play with it for a second that it will increase the chances of me relapsing.
I'm now roughly day 37*... My best streak in the last 2 years has been 20-24 days. Morning wood has increase a good amount. It also seems to stay around a fair bit resorting in me having to wait a minute or so before going out into the corridor (of my uni rooms) to go and shower. Also the weird porn fantasies don't come up in my head at all... I'm just dead focused on real girls.
EDIT:
This morning i had a solid 70% MW. Things are going well!
'' this new mindset works by refusing to give imagination to pixels. If I wished, I could label porn as prostitutes and it will work too but I prefer to label everything porn as non-people. To me this works so perfectly that it does not even trigger my curiosity - I have zero interest in staring at objects let alone getting sexual with it. ''
Yes 100%... i have a mindset of as soon as i see something sexual i give it no imagination... i click off and do something else. I know for a fact if a play with it for a second that it will increase the chances of me relapsing.
I'm now roughly day 37*... My best streak in the last 2 years has been 20-24 days. Morning wood has increase a good amount. It also seems to stay around a fair bit resorting in me having to wait a minute or so before going out into the corridor (of my uni rooms) to go and shower. Also the weird porn fantasies don't come up in my head at all... I'm just dead focused on real girls.
EDIT:
This morning i had a solid 70% MW. Things are going well!
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