Question for you men...

[billybrown]

I think he may have a condition called "retarded ejaculation". It's psychological. Google it & you'll also find your answer.

 

[TPW]

I totally agree- I find recently half of my posts are the same thing 'sounds like you have DE, quit porn and don't use the death grip', I say it to so many people around the forums, DE is definitely still on a sharp increase and some people don't know they have it. Although oral still can be a little different since some guys really like stimulation around the tip while some prefer it near the base, some prefer long strokes etc.

While I agree that excessive masturbation can result in over-sensitization of the penis and thus cause DE, there may be other reasons why men cannot ejaculate during oral sex:

1) Men are encouraged to last as long as possible during intercourse, so they "train" themselves to do so. They may, therefore, have difficulty switching gears to allow for a quicker climax for oral sex. (Much to the chagrin of many women and their exhausted mouths.)

2) As amazing as oral sex feels, it is not the "right" stimulation to allow for climax. (This happens for women receiving oral sex too)

3) It just feels so damn good, they want it to last and last and last so they prevent themselves from climaxing until it is too late and they become over-sensitized and are unable to orgasm.

 

[Boosie]

While I agree that excessive masturbation can result in over-sensitization of the penis and thus cause DE, there may be other reasons why men cannot ejaculate during oral sex:

1) Men are encouraged to last as long as possible during intercourse, so they "train" themselves to do so. They may, therefore, have difficulty switching gears to allow for a quicker climax for oral sex. (Much to the chagrin of many women and their exhausted mouths.)

2) As amazing as oral sex feels, it is not the "right" stimulation to allow for climax. (This happens for women receiving oral sex too)

3) It just feels so damn good, they want it to last and last and last so they prevent themselves from climaxing until it is too late and they become over-sensitized and are unable to orgasm.

Your second point is the jackpot, It feels so fucking good BUT its not just what we need to orgasm.

 

[CaptainJohnson]

How many of you get off not-so-easily from getting head?

My guy said he's only been sucked off twice. Damnit it to hell I am going to be number 3 if it freaking kills me.

My problem is he lasts FOREVER! While it's nice there's times he doesn't cum AT ALL. He will fuck for 1.5 hours with nothing then 15 min later we go at it again and he'll cum. We've talked about it and he says he understands my point of view. I said I love it, it's great, wonderful, etc... But then it sucks because I think what am I doing wrong. He said he's always been like that and never wants it to change. At 41 years old he's pretty damned lucky. Hell my ex had a hard time keeping a load for more than 5 minutes!


Any advice to get him off? My other thing is he's huge. I feel like I need to train for the damn oral Olympics here!

The only way I can get him all the way in (my mouth) is when we're doing 69 and he's on top.

I've been in more or less the same situation with my girlfriend. I used to have trouble cumming at all during sex. I'd keep going, and it would leave her a bit more sore than she'd like at times. It sucked that I could not cum easily, but I also knew this was MY issue, not hers. I'd try to explain that to her, but she still made it personal, and thought she was doing something wrong/bad in bed. Nothing could've been farther from the truth. She was a wild ride in bed, and I loved every second of it. I always lusted for her and wanted more, which is part of why I kind of lasted, well, forever.

Eventually I found a few positions I could cum in, and with practice, it became easier and easier to cum. The important thing was, I could only cum in those particular positions. If there are positions he can cum in more easily than others, I would suggest he frequently finish in those.

Just remember, this is his issue, not yours. Don't feel bad about it. It is odd that society accepts that sometimes women don't cum from sex, but men are always expected to. To this day, sometimes I just don't cum, and I'm cool with that; after all, the sex is still fantastic.

The important thing for your guy is he needs to learn to cut down on the marathon sex. Express to him that you aren't always able to take that much at a time. You need more breaks. He will understand.

My girl and I have since cut our sex down to a more realistic duration, and it has made the entire experience way more enjoyable for us both.

Part of my old problem was also I used to view sex as a performance, and if I could last forever, it would be proof I was capable of a "unique" act not every guy was capable of. I have since learned to stop viewing sex that way. Sex is NOT a performance, it is a childhood game: there are no actual rules of play, it is co-operative, creative, builds trust, and is social. Sex is an act of regression, to a certain degree, where we need to forgo our ego and insecurities to just have fun. Pushing for a new time record loses its appeal if it is done every time. Instead, just let loose.

Another suggestion: Try giving yourselves time limits on sex. Say you are getting ready for a dinner party and feeling a little frisky. Have a 5 minute romp before you guys go out the door. Set a timer so you guys can be sure you don't end up late. Sure, when the timer goes off, there might be a slight pang of disappointment, but you'll still appreciate the sex you got to have, and it might warm you up for dessert when you get home.

 

[camaro]

The day when i tell myself i lasted too long....how i long for it.....

 

[CaptainJohnson]

The day when i tell myself i lasted too long....how i long for it.....

The week of my pelvic injury, I experienced premature ejaculation for my first time. I came in about a minute. My girlfriend and I were both so happy, and celebrated. Cumming never felt so easy, and it was a relief. Two weeks after that, Sex slowly went back to normal, and cumming was hard again. When you're on the other side of the fence, the grass always looks greener where you aren't standing.

 

[second lensman]

I seriously doubt that any man here could find anything done wrong with a 1 and 1/2 hour B.J.
Camaro said it well! This "problem" is one a lot of us would welcome.

 

[CLOSEDDennyA]

I seriously doubt that any man here could find anything done wrong with a 1 and 1/2 hour B.J.
Camaro said it well! This "problem" is one a lot of us would welcome.

Exactly, and what woman's jaw wouldn't get sore with that marathon bj...jealous, except I couldn't last anywhere near that long getting a bj.

 

[Boosie]

Exactly, and what woman's jaw wouldn't get sore with that marathon bj...jealous, except I couldn't last anywhere near that long getting a bj.

Other way around for me.

 

[CaptainJohnson]

Wait... the BJ was an hour and a half?! I thought implication was that penetration was an hour and a half or something...

Well, yea... if you can keep it in your mouth for an hour and half, you have some rediculous BJ talent... wowza!

 

[MySword]

While I agree that excessive masturbation can result in over-sensitization of the penis and thus cause DE, there may be other reasons why men cannot ejaculate during oral sex:

1) Men are encouraged to last as long as possible during intercourse, so they "train" themselves to do so. They may, therefore, have difficulty switching gears to allow for a quicker climax for oral sex. (Much to the chagrin of many women and their exhausted mouths.)

2) As amazing as oral sex feels, it is not the "right" stimulation to allow for climax. (This happens for women receiving oral sex too)

3) It just feels so damn good, they want it to last and last and last so they prevent themselves from climaxing until it is too late and they become over-sensitized and are unable to orgasm.

This post is dead on imo. I have the third one happen to me in the past but my gf doesn't last long enough with her sore jaw for that to happen any more.

As per earlier posts in here RE DE i have had a low level porn addiction when i lived at college and was single and it does affect your sensation if you are using a tight grip as well (i am also cut).

I put in my earlier post that i last 15-20 min but to be honest that is only on average, sometimes i last 3-5 minutes! It depends on the situation and how lonng it has been. My proudest moment in bed with my GF was when we went on holidays and I came in 3 minutes and she came with me! we were both horny and i feel great that i got her off that quickly.

Another time at home i lasted 45 minutes and she came twice with me inside her and then I finally blew. She said any longer was going to be a chore and was getting painful so you do need to be careful. Sex should be fun and varied rather than a competition but as men we are often trying to set standards and want to be seen as the best and longest lasting etc.

All I know is that my current gf says i'm the biggest and best guy that she has been with and that is good enough for me...

 

[SheSquirts]

Well... perhaps I should say when we have our long bouts it's more whiskey dick than anything. Yesterday we went in 15 minutes...

 

[kal foo]

How many of you get off not-so-easily from getting head?

My guy said he's only been sucked off twice. Damnit it to hell I am going to be number 3 if it freaking kills me.

My problem is he lasts FOREVER! While it's nice there's times he doesn't cum AT ALL. He will fuck for 1.5 hours with nothing then 15 min later we go at it again and he'll cum. We've talked about it and he says he understands my point of view. I said I love it, it's great, wonderful, etc... But then it sucks because I think what am I doing wrong. He said he's always been like that and never wants it to change. At 41 years old he's pretty damned lucky. Hell my ex had a hard time keeping a load for more than 5 minutes!


Any advice to get him off? My other thing is he's huge. I feel like I need to train for the damn oral Olympics here!

The only way I can get him all the way in (my mouth) is when we're doing 69 and he's on top.

I have the same problem as your man. When I am getting head, I find it very hard to achive orgasm. What works for me is that my girlfriend and I would have lots of forplay. Once we are really worked up I can orgasm in about 20 minutes.

 

[Danster579]

I've never came from sex, period.

It's something that I could fix, but a big part of me doesn't want to.

I am giving up porn to improve how sex feels and for harder erections, but it would be worse to be on the other side of the spectrum so I hope that it doesn't completely fix itself.

Eventually, I will teach myself to have MMOs so I can enjoy it even more than if I was regular.

 

[NJay12]

Hey SheSkirts,

A common mistake that women make is to rush into giving fellatio without the proper foreplay

I honestly though Bj's were foreplay? what is foreplay then? x

 

[Glamissand1]

Kegels! Its what we do during sex to make ourselves cum. In the bj position we are relaxed and kegel very little and lightly. A very light teasing bj that causes him to twitch kegel should help send him over the edge. Also the underside of the penis is where the good feeling is, don't forget that the penis extends past the balls to the taint. When playing with the boys try to feel out and rub the lower penis.

 

[camaro]

Hey SheSkirts,

A common mistake that women make is to rush into giving fellatio without the proper foreplay

I honestly though Bj's were foreplay? what is foreplay then? x

Foreplay for men are the words " Let's have sex ", and there will be a jackpot buzzer going off in their heads....

 

[camaro]

She squirts, do measure and tell us how big he is.

 

[GTO]

Eventually I found a few positions I could cum in, and with practice, it became easier and easier to cum. The important thing was, I could only cum in those particular positions. If there are positions he can cum in more easily than others, I would suggest he frequently finish in those.

Bingo. My gf and I make a game out of it. We both have those 'off-limits" positions that we know that will pretty quickly trigger a deep orgasm for either one of us. Her list is much bigger than mine but there are a couple that I'll go to or allow her to put me in so I can really let go. Sometimes she'll try to go right for the jugular and put me in it right away - sometimes it backfires on her, other times she gets me off pretty damn good. Her thing is that she says she wants me to have just as many orgasms as I give her. We both know that will NEVER happen since that ratio is like 7:1. (women and their ability to just string orgasms along one after the other makes me so jealous!)

 

[NCGUY1972]

We both have those 'off-limits" positions that we know that will pretty quickly trigger a deep orgasm for either one of us.

Everytime I think I found one of these she changes on me. What worked last night may not work again for 2 months with my wife??? damn women I wish she just had an instruction manual sometimes.