I don't know if I feel like it's "Selfish" but more so self-righteous and self-absorbed. You're saying that your world is the worst to live in. So much so that everybody who has tried to make you feel better was worthless to you because you're so caught up in yourself. You fail to see people care about you because you're so focused on your Woe-is-me story that you don't see the big picture... That things are bad, yes, but people still want you around... need you around.
This is something that can be true, but isn't on the flipside that some think that no one will care is the lack of time spent with those that mean the most to them? Sure when those are in this situation usually tend to build more stuff up that is going wrong, but if that person looks and sees it has been months or years since the last time they spoke to someone important to them wouldn't that heighten that feeling and make it true?
If those people really needed that person to be around wouldn't they have tried to keep that person around? If they do try to help someone and then give up does that not prove what the person was thinking in the end?
When one side tries to help and the other tries to reject is it a test will, stubbornness, love, or for each side trying to decide what and how one should be?
So to me, it's selfish because you have no clue what your predicament or your struggle means to someone else who may have that same struggle but doesn't tell you about it. They look to you for their strength and you look to someone else for your strength with NOBODY knowing each others weaknesses... when you give up, you start a chain reaction of people giving up and nobody wins.
Is it really giving up though? If someone really thinks about it and thinks "clearly" on their situation is it them giving up when they see themselves past their peak and have less to offer than before? For me I see this as choosing how one goes out rather than forfeiting. I know I would much rather choose to go out in some flashy way than to live as a dim light.
That's at least how I see it. I made it through because I knew, on the other side of this pain, there's going to be lotsof happiness... why? because life is ONLY as happy as you chose to see it. I know people who've had a much harder life than me, and still struggling but are much happier than I am. I know people who have had it so easy, never had to worry about ANYTHING in their lives and are much sadder and depressed... You can choose to be happy and you can choose to look for the positive things even in the negative or you can be a self-absorbed wallowing recluse stuck in a pity party that nobody knows is eating you alive.
So the base question is... Would you rather be eaten alive in the dark, or smile and strive to live in the daylight. May take meds to stabilize your mood at first, but you can come off them if you start helping yourself see positive in every negative. EVERY negative has a positive and if you can't see that, make one up and keep it moving.
But what of those that choose to be unhappy? Are they not then ultimately choosing how to die the way they lived? If by choosing that path than is it still selfish? Plenty are told to be themselves and to be selfish sometimes, so why is this incredibly horrible, are they not being themselves when the act is finished?
I think one thing I remember most about my life is just saying "Fuck it"
People would be at parties standing around, music playing, everybody is just too embarassed to dance. My idea was "Fuck it" i KNOW i can't dance... I'mma get out here and do it anyway. grab a partner and do the damn thing. Just THAT action made other people think "well sh*t, I can dance better than that" and they got into it too.
You don't have to be good at ANYTHING to be an influence to people. All anybody ever talks about, about those times in my life, were how "fun" i was... hell I wasn't fun, i just started to say "fuck it" and gave up trying to rationalize everything.
I couldn't do that. I must always rationalize, analyze, and think about every action. I have two or three thoughts running constantly, sometimes with some song stuck in my head. It is a need for me to think of the most efficient way to do something, always, that way I can gain the most from it.
