Just Talking

[Dontrike]

I was hit with a rather deep thought, in that you would probably get this thought after while being stoned, during my job as I have nothing better to do except push a mop around.

Anyways I was thinking of the good advice that most give others. This piece of advice would be "just be yourself". Now there isn't anything wrong with this piece of advice, but I find that when people say this that it usually has to do with dating and then the next thing that is usually said has them advising about being more confident. This got me thinking that how can you be yourself and yet do something that might not be who they are? (Again, this isn't that the advice is bad.)

Improving yourself is certainly important, but when suggesting that someone be confident in something that they are currently not confident in go against the advice of "be yourself"? (Again again, this isn't to say the advice is bad, but that they seem to conflict a little.)

 

[somebodyelse]

interesting...

I, too, thought about this... kind of a "chicken before the egg" argument but suffice it to say in this particular situation it's one of those situations where you "Fake it til you make it"

faking confidence and pretending to be outgoing is going to eventually make it one of your personality traits. I underwent a huge personal transformation when i just got tired of being lonely in college. Changed things i didn't like about myself and decided I was tired of just being nervous of talking to people. faked like I was outgoing. wound my courage up to 1000% and just said random observations to people about the surroundings we were in. sometimes they were receptive and sparked conversation, other times, they just ignored me. What I found is that most times people are just as uncomfortable walking around as you are.

In that knowledge you kind of gain a confidence of "numbers" if you're uncomfortable there's at least 10 people around you experiencing the same exact uncertainty and insecurity. with that, you already have something in common. breaking the ice so both of you can be more comfortable becomes a civic duty!

 

[burtybasset]

I wouldn't necessarily say so Don!

Confidence becomes you! In that once you have done the thing you were afraid of, you gain the confidence to do it again! Hence confidence becomes you, then you are just being yourself afterall!

Absolutely SBE, I believe we all have different experiences that make us, us! But I believe everyone experiences the nature of life as you do and we all have that in common!

I think confidence can come from being a little humble/human and giving yourself permission to make mistakes, you can always apologize later if you upset anyone!

Be positive and take positive action!

 

[closed224]

We are all who and how we choose to be. Therefore just be yourself is perfect advice. Confidence just happens when we love who and what we are. When we Dont judge ourselves as insufficient then we are not. First be yourself, understand that who you are is your choice, and that you are perfect. Just be you, and it will always be enough. Love you Don.

 

[Jay1983]

How the crap am I supposed to sleep next to a snoring GF? FML.

Maybe I will fart and pull the blankets over her head.

 

[Dontrike]

How has no one grown out and groomed their chest hair to look like a mustache?

How the crap am I supposed to sleep next to a snoring GF? FML.

Maybe I will fart and pull the blankets over her head.

I dealt with my snoring brother by jabbing him with a broomstick, but he slept across the room so I didn't want to get up out of bed. That probably isn't an option for you though. Usually having them roll over is good enough to get a respite from their loud respite.

 

[Qandisa]

I always seem to end up with snorers, whether it be SOs or family. I've gotten very used to sleeping on couches. Heaven for me is a separate bedroom - yes, really. I'm all for cuddling and snuggling but not when I'm trying to sleep. I don't find being cuddled up with someone very conducive to sleeping, and I rarely sleep well with someone else in the bed.
Worst for me is hotel rooms, because there's very little escape possible. I have spent many nights sitting in hotel lobbies surfing the 'net. I crammed myself into closets to try and sleep. Bathtubs don't work unless you know for sure the other person isn't going to get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. I have occasionally slept in the car when it's been warm enough outside. And yes those are all WITH earplugs, which I hate wearing.

 

[islander]

There's an herbal spray at cvs I swear it works. My ex snored to the point id clamp his nose so he would choke and turn over lol

I got the spray and it was over. After 20 years it was over.

 

[PurpleOnes]

I always seem to end up with snorers, whether it be SOs or family. I've gotten very used to sleeping on couches. Heaven for me is a separate bedroom - yes, really. I'm all for cuddling and snuggling but not when I'm trying to sleep. I don't find being cuddled up with someone very conducive to sleeping, and I rarely sleep well with someone else in the bed.
Worst for me is hotel rooms, because there's very little escape possible. I have spent many nights sitting in hotel lobbies surfing the 'net. I crammed myself into closets to try and sleep. Bathtubs don't work unless you know for sure the other person isn't going to get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. I have occasionally slept in the car when it's been warm enough outside. And yes those are all WITH earplugs, which I hate wearing.

I usually fall asleep quite quickly.

What I hate a lot is when I have important day coming and I do not get sleep it just drives me crazy. Not getting sleep when you are in need of it.

You have probably been with wrong type of cuddlers since you have not fallen asleep like that.:biggrin1:

 

[Qandisa]

You have probably been with wrong type of cuddlers since you have not fallen asleep like that.:biggrin1:

Lol, I should say that I have managed to drift off a bit while cuddled up with someone but I can't SLEEP like that. I'm a light sleeper. I used to be a sound sleeper - as a teen I had a BF that was in a punk band, they used to practice in the basement, where his bed was, and I would sometimes fall asleep while they were practicing. But as the years have gone by that's changed. If my cat jumps on the bed at night it wakes me up, but then they settle into spot and stay there for hours. If my dog is walking around downstairs during the night I hear it. Someone sleeping in the same bed with me means that I wake up every time they turn over or move or shift, so I end up getting very little sleep. That's okay for a night or two if it's just a quick visit kind of thing, but anything longer than that and I get to be a very grumpy person.

And snoring I never have been able to sleep through, even as a child. Punk band blaring away a few yards away, fine. Fire alarm? No problem. Snoring? Forget it.

 

[Dontrike]

Not funny joke with a question at the same time.

If you and a lady are having sex and you ejaculate on her back and she tries to get off the bed does she fall butter side down like toast?

 

[closed224]

The snorer may need a CPAP machine.

 

[islander]

^ trivia for many haha

 

[Dontrike]

Damn! I didn't get my hand a gift for Valentine's Day, it is going to be so pissed and beat me.

 

[Qandisa]

Given the recent conversations in various threads about the wisdom *cough* imparted by Cosmo... I share this with you...

 

[closed224]

Oh my Qandisa, thanks for the belly laugh. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

 

[somebodyelse]

One of my friends, I've known for a very long time, once told me about a "celebrity crush" she had on a real person...

To me, this sounded stupid... I had never really had a "celebrity crush" on a real person. She mentioned that if this guy ever gave her the opportunity, she'd leave her relationship of 10 years, no questions asked.

I recently had a "celebrity crush" (is what I'll call it) on a "regular person" this woman... OMG! We were in a meeting, and she... she looked absolutely stunning. The outfit she wore was like SUPER well fitted, (not tight, but figure forming) and then the material just looked ultra luxurious. really expensive, exquisite attention to detail in the stitching. not a crooked seam anywhere (it looked VERY expensive) her hair in a professional pony tail. and her make up was flawless... The most amazing smile you could ever imagine, and these almond brown eyes. she looked like she was possibly some mixture of white and asian.

She is a Registered Professional. when she gave me her card I found out she was actually the associate principal (Similar to one of a few Vice Presidents) of a large, multi million dollar firm. He smile still haunts me to this day, her voice was soooooo smooth... She had the strangest last name...

So like a dork I Looked her up on LinkedIn... After reading her bio... the schools she went to, the degrees (PLURAL!) that she has, and the meteoric climb she made at the firm she's in, I had a super crush on her. She is major bossmode. Her last name bothered me though, so I had to research. I saw the rings on her finger, so I know someone already scooped her up so I just did some internet stalking to just make sure she was married so I don't... you know, accidentally flirt with her. She is, in fact, married... Why wouldn't she be!

*Sigh*... Crush!!! I am glad I'm working on a different international project now, because if I had to see her multiple times I would totally accidentally flirt... UNPROFESSIONAL!

 

[islander]

That's so cute. Accidentally flirt lol

 

[closed224]

Some claim I flirt continuously. If that is true it is accidental;-).

 

[Jay1983]

Next time she says it isn't small, I'm going to say... "how would you know?"