Just Talking
- Thread starter CUSP82
- Start date
How come?
Anyways, it's 6 AM and I just got back from my 5 AM run. Felt pretty good to be out, no people around. Only problem is that there is no way I'm going to be sleeping now. Oh well.
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I am a Royalist, so before the royal baby is born i will predict the sex of the baby and it's name. 
I predict it will be a boy and he will be called kevin.
I predict it will be a boy and he will be called kevin.
Okay i was right about my prediction that the baby would be a boyI am a Royalist, so before the royal baby is born i will predict the sex of the baby and it's name.
I predict it will be a boy and he will be called kevin.
Now let's wait a little longer to see if he's called Kevin. He's called George Alexander Louis. Not Kevin.Okay i was right about my prediction that the baby would be a boy
Well I forgot to read this every day. I guess if someone has to read something like this every day they are in the wrong relationship.
I am very sad, heart broken.
I am single again all because I can handle more than he can. "I don't know why... I dont know how to fix this..You are so strong and so forthcoming I have never had a woman so strong and show me such love and care before...I must be scared.. this is not something I have ever experienced at this level... its like all of the sudden having to drive on the other side of the road... I will try it but it will take some getting used to...I am broken"
So here you have a man telling me he loves me, I am the best woman he has ever known, I make him feel like a man, he wants to be with me all the time, he talks about our future together, how blessed he is, etc... but just because I ask him "can you please keep in touch if you are having a long day" he freaks out saying that he shouldn't have to check in. Uh what? If he can not reach me in a few hours he is reaching out to me. But if I want to hear from him (I was excited to hear about the result of an important day he had) all of the sudden my request to "try to come to a reasonable connection plan" is too much?
What I am sad about is the loss. It was really great but as I read my posts it seems from the start I did recognize he was a one track mind/one thing at a time type of guy. Which okay but you still have to respect the person in your life. Thats called being considerate right? I dont need to know the whole story just a little "hey going to stay late I will talk to you tomorrow".
Woo is me. I can honestly say I am SO proud of myself during this relationship. I was open, honest, communicative, myself, giving, sexy, all the things I am and never feared one second showing it. I know now what a "nice guy" is and what a "simple man" is and I really liked it. I went for the total opposite of what I am attracted to and it was really great. So this one thing, which clearly I must have tried to ignore, didn't pan out but the rest was great.
Well going to take a break and then get back out there.
I wonder if this is a surprise to any of you here. lol
I am sad, I have that weird feeling in my gut and for the first time IN MY LIFE I am not eating because of it. Day one... lets see how long this takes me to get over.
MrsLooking4more
Retired Super Moderator, Member of the Month Feb
Sorry to hear that, you don't think you guys can work this out? You seemed so happy together and I know Cuban males tend to be so friggin' controlling but don't like to have what they perceive as control on them. Maybe after a cool down period thing will be settled. I wish you the best which ever way it goes, you are an awesome strong woman!
Yes but how many days is a cooking off period. I've always been with Cubans and we hash stuff out on the spot. I feel as if I'm not worth the work. Yet he says and his actions prior to this are completely showing me my worth.
I'm so sad. I hope it's something else and not just this. At least it would make more sense. Ego is at play no doubt. I've checked mine. He knows I love him and feel we can come to an easy plan. I guess I'm more sad that he doesn't have the risk taking I had hoped. Life can't be perfect. You have to be able to manage some differences and this is tiny. None of it was a waste. It was a great experience
I'm so sad. I hope it's something else and not just this. At least it would make more sense. Ego is at play no doubt. I've checked mine. He knows I love him and feel we can come to an easy plan. I guess I'm more sad that he doesn't have the risk taking I had hoped. Life can't be perfect. You have to be able to manage some differences and this is tiny. None of it was a waste. It was a great experience
someone_like_u
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Great post but um....this is a moderator free thread
Sorry, just had to rag ya on that
someone_like_u
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Landi, I hope with some space, he'll come around and figure out he doesn't want to lose ya. Keep ya head up strong woman
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Ty Slu and Mrs. I authorize intrusion by u mods lol
Everyone so far is telling me that I may have come off harsh or condescending on my approach. But I explained I said clearly I love him and want him but need to feel appreciated and important. That it was my problem and I wanted to get thru it with his help.
Ugh. He doesn't call. After a day I asked if I could speak to him. Two hours later he said was with a relative how about later on.
To me that's disrespectful. We are hurting and just deal with it now.
But I realize some people need time and can't tackle things the way I do. Does that mean I need to just say good bye and wait for a guy that is as guy as I am? Where is he lol
Fuggg.
Surprised that I can't eat. I can always eat.
I am a known runner. I used to run. I changed and that's because I thought he was the man. Now ill be doubting my radar. Ugh
Everyone so far is telling me that I may have come off harsh or condescending on my approach. But I explained I said clearly I love him and want him but need to feel appreciated and important. That it was my problem and I wanted to get thru it with his help.
Ugh. He doesn't call. After a day I asked if I could speak to him. Two hours later he said was with a relative how about later on.
To me that's disrespectful. We are hurting and just deal with it now.
But I realize some people need time and can't tackle things the way I do. Does that mean I need to just say good bye and wait for a guy that is as guy as I am? Where is he lol
Fuggg.
Surprised that I can't eat. I can always eat.
I am a known runner. I used to run. I changed and that's because I thought he was the man. Now ill be doubting my radar. Ugh
MrsLooking4more
Retired Super Moderator, Member of the Month Feb
Sorry I didn't know, I only been a mod less than 24 hrs and I never read the beginning of the thread. I will refrain in the future.
someone_like_u
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Sorry I didn't know, I only been a mod less than 24 hrs and I never read the beginning of the thread. I will refrain in the future.
I personally don't mind you posting in every thread on the board. Was sorta picking at cusp and his first post in thread. His words generally always come back to haunt him in some form or fashion
It was more of a thread to complain without mod crap but this is for me. Mod away. I'm sad and reaching out!
someone_like_u
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Ty Slu and Mrs. I authorize intrusion by u mods lol
Everyone so far is telling me that I may have come off harsh or condescending on my approach. But I explained I said clearly I love him and want him but need to feel appreciated and important. That it was my problem and I wanted to get thru it with his help.
Ugh. He doesn't call. After a day I asked if I could speak to him. Two hours later he said was with a relative how about later on.
To me that's disrespectful. We are hurting and just deal with it now.
But I realize some people need time and can't tackle things the way I do. Does that mean I need to just say good bye and wait for a guy that is as guy as I am? Where is he lol
Fuggg.
Surprised that I can't eat. I can always eat.
I am a known runner. I used to run. I changed and that's because I thought he was the man. Now ill be doubting my radar. Ugh
Hey Landi. Just re read through this. I think just give him a little space. I think he, at the moment, is feeling overwhelmed. With your "Why can't he just call and check in if he's going to be late at work, etc", maybe he's taking that as you not trusting him and you being a little too hovering. I don't know, just my little thoughts. Hope he calls and you two can talk and hash all this out.
Thanks slu. I'm better today. I gave it to God. If he should contact me again ill listen and decide. Time works in mysterious ways. Could help him in one way and me in another. I don't see me going back to it if too many days pass without addressing it. I'm not sure he is a need closure type of man. I feel good about my side and that's all I can do. Namaste.
Oh man, my heart breaks for you Landi
I'm sorry this didn't work out, but I'm almost positive it's not over Keep your head up! not all guys can really deal, all at once, with lots of change in the dynamics of a relationship. Sometimes a girl just needs to know what you're doing, and if you're going to be okay.
I will admit I drop the ball on this from time to time. She's gotten on me about not communicating, but she's been very valuable to me. Unbelievably valuable. He just needs his time to reconfigure himself. You are a different breed and you need to be handled and dealt with in a different way, and that's the truth. Sometimes a man, even as put together as some may seem, can be slightly off kilter.
"nobody can have all full bars." You give up something VERY important when you find something so great. I see you're taking responsibility for this fall apart, but it's not your fault to be upset that you were not getting everything you wanted. Granted you can't get EVERYTHING, you do have to have a middle ground.
The middle ground is the hard part for this guy (and me, honestly). I don't have a problem with checking in, but I have a problem with REMEMBERING to check in when I'm highly focused. Handling my business, my education, and a woman whose love I won was incredibly draining for me. My ex taught me about patience with that. That is, when someone disappears for a few days or hours, you can't take it personally... I took some inconsistencies personally and lost her.
It's not all your fault about this. Sometimes you need to feel appreciated, even if the actions scream at the top of their lungs, you need to "hear" and "feel" that the person really cares about you.
I'm sorry he broke up with you over something so trivial, but at the same time, I almost feel like he just needs some space for a few weeks and he'll be back.
I'm sending some up for your hearts strength... good luck.
I'm sorry this didn't work out, but I'm almost positive it's not over
Keep your head up! not all guys can really deal, all at once, with lots of change in the dynamics of a relationship. Sometimes a girl just needs to know what you're doing, and if you're going to be okay.I will admit I drop the ball on this from time to time. She's gotten on me about not communicating, but she's been very valuable to me. Unbelievably valuable. He just needs his time to reconfigure himself. You are a different breed and you need to be handled and dealt with in a different way, and that's the truth. Sometimes a man, even as put together as some may seem, can be slightly off kilter.
"nobody can have all full bars." You give up something VERY important when you find something so great. I see you're taking responsibility for this fall apart, but it's not your fault to be upset that you were not getting everything you wanted. Granted you can't get EVERYTHING, you do have to have a middle ground.
The middle ground is the hard part for this guy (and me, honestly). I don't have a problem with checking in, but I have a problem with REMEMBERING to check in when I'm highly focused. Handling my business, my education, and a woman whose love I won was incredibly draining for me. My ex taught me about patience with that. That is, when someone disappears for a few days or hours, you can't take it personally... I took some inconsistencies personally and lost her.
It's not all your fault about this. Sometimes you need to feel appreciated, even if the actions scream at the top of their lungs, you need to "hear" and "feel" that the person really cares about you.
I'm sorry he broke up with you over something so trivial, but at the same time, I almost feel like he just needs some space for a few weeks and he'll be back.
I'm sending some up for your hearts strength
... good luck.
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Hi Ronnie and thanks for the post. He feels, and I guess he is right, that I broke up with him. I "told" him that a core issue of mine is that if you include me the preparation for a big event, something that is very important to you, I need to be "released" or "relieved" on the day the event is over. For example: You have a big meeting getting a new account. You test your ideas on me, you show me your nerves, we talk about it for hours and I soothe you and if asked will give my opinion on your presentation. The appointment is the next morning at 10am. Well its 11pm and I still have not heard from you. WTF!
Now, if you happen to have school, work, a doctors appointment, gym, hectic drive all after that 10am meeting then sure I ALREADY know the rest of the schedule so I am calm waiting to hear from you. But if I know you have absolutely NOTHING else on your plate, WTF!
It doesn't matter if the meeting went good, bad or nothing decided. The right thing to do is effin call or text.
Anyway to everyone that is reading this he did reach out. Bottom line is, the fear and devastation that he feels from this break up is so rough, what happens if I chose to break up again. How bad will it hurt then?
So with his statement like that I had to agree and fade out. There was no need for me to support him, help him believe in faith and love and all that jazz. Bottom line he has a wall, he has fear, he is fragile (in my world) and I am not like that. I am not scared. I dont care I go for it. Am I going to NOT be with someone because it will hurt so much IF they dump me? WTF. No, you have to be positive, trust your gut, take chances, take risks.
I am clearly either not the right woman for him OR this is not the right time for us. I know many say he is not the right man for me but even with his issues I found them all no big deal. I didn't need him to be straight up on those issues. I did not need that type of guy. Either way we end up without each other. Which sucks but I can honestly tell you I am not sad anymore for me. I am actually glad and excited because with this man and timing my wall that was so strong is GONE. I am free from my past fears and worries. I am going to make some man's day / life when he meets me lol
Also I have adjusted my business life tremendously. I used to work terrible long hours and traveled a lot. I only do two and half different businesses now (lol) which for me is a walk in the park. So I have a lot more time like employees do when they check out at 5 I kind of do too. And that will continue to get better and more stable and scheduled.
So I will not be going back into the dating world or online dating just yet. I am going into my busy season again and enjoy the holidays with my friends and family. If someone pops in great nice to meet you I will be open to it but I will get serious again after the new year. Yes I know, the sex I need the sex lol I am hoping that because I am no longer hiding from love that the sex drive will ease and I dont take another FWB. Because that always end bad for the man and I really do not want more bodies out there with my name tattoo'd on the inside of their brain lol "Landi was here, no sh*t" you know.....
Day by day. Stronger and stronger. Wiser and wiser. Growing up~
PS I am sad for him right now. Because in essence he is saying he cant fall in love again because he could get hurt. So I pray that whatever are his fears they will subside. Everyone takes their time on this God knows I did. Took many years to get to this point. So I wish him well. I was very very nice and frankly he is a wonderful man and deserves a great life and wife.
Now, if you happen to have school, work, a doctors appointment, gym, hectic drive all after that 10am meeting then sure I ALREADY know the rest of the schedule so I am calm waiting to hear from you. But if I know you have absolutely NOTHING else on your plate, WTF!
It doesn't matter if the meeting went good, bad or nothing decided. The right thing to do is effin call or text.
Anyway to everyone that is reading this he did reach out. Bottom line is, the fear and devastation that he feels from this break up is so rough, what happens if I chose to break up again. How bad will it hurt then?
So with his statement like that I had to agree and fade out. There was no need for me to support him, help him believe in faith and love and all that jazz. Bottom line he has a wall, he has fear, he is fragile (in my world) and I am not like that. I am not scared. I dont care I go for it. Am I going to NOT be with someone because it will hurt so much IF they dump me? WTF. No, you have to be positive, trust your gut, take chances, take risks.
I am clearly either not the right woman for him OR this is not the right time for us. I know many say he is not the right man for me but even with his issues I found them all no big deal. I didn't need him to be straight up on those issues. I did not need that type of guy. Either way we end up without each other. Which sucks but I can honestly tell you I am not sad anymore for me. I am actually glad and excited because with this man and timing my wall that was so strong is GONE. I am free from my past fears and worries. I am going to make some man's day / life when he meets me lol
Also I have adjusted my business life tremendously. I used to work terrible long hours and traveled a lot. I only do two and half different businesses now (lol) which for me is a walk in the park. So I have a lot more time like employees do when they check out at 5 I kind of do too. And that will continue to get better and more stable and scheduled.
So I will not be going back into the dating world or online dating just yet. I am going into my busy season again and enjoy the holidays with my friends and family. If someone pops in great nice to meet you I will be open to it but I will get serious again after the new year. Yes I know, the sex I need the sex lol I am hoping that because I am no longer hiding from love that the sex drive will ease and I dont take another FWB. Because that always end bad for the man and I really do not want more bodies out there with my name tattoo'd on the inside of their brain lol "Landi was here, no sh*t" you know.....
Day by day. Stronger and stronger. Wiser and wiser. Growing up~
PS I am sad for him right now. Because in essence he is saying he cant fall in love again because he could get hurt. So I pray that whatever are his fears they will subside. Everyone takes their time on this God knows I did. Took many years to get to this point. So I wish him well. I was very very nice and frankly he is a wonderful man and deserves a great life and wife.
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