Ok I notice I reach the ponr very quickly but if I can regroup and fight off the involuntary kegel and calm down I can go a little while its all about me gaining more control
Is this improvement?
- Thread starter Bobbyj
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Bobbyj, That's the idea. Relax the involuntary kegel with a reverse kegel, calm down, breath slow and last a little longer. It's the training routine and you're learning from your responses. The continued training will rewire your response over time to last longer and longer till you get to a point where you no longer have Pre. Ejac. but decide when you want to let go.
Practice! Good Luck!
Practice! Good Luck!
No matter how many reverse kegels I do that 1 involuntary kegel sends me over the top still haven't learned how to control my arousal
Ok, I've been following this thread with interest and thought I'd add my (lack of) progress report. I have been practicing 25% kegels/75% reverse kegels for a few weeks (about 40 minutes a day, 3 days a week). At first, I felt I was progressing well and could handle 20/30 minutes of edging without reaching ponr. The problem for me is that when I reach or get close to ponr I can back off but immediately when I resume stimulation I am back at ponr. Because of this I obviously feel I need to avoid the ponr.
My main problem is that my Pre E is so bad that I can lurch from a leisurely 7 on the arousal scale while masturbating to a 9.5 without warning. I usually have a problem avoiding the ponr when using a full handed grip when masturbating with my right hand (I think because my frenulum is very sensitive and this grip applies pressure to that point). The last session I had I managed to last about 30 mins without reaching ponr while using that grip but the next time I tried had been happily masturbating for about 5 minutes and feeling relaxed at an arousal level 7 when all of a sudden I changed grip slightly and went straight to ponr inside 2 seconds.
I understand and accept all the theories and practices I need to adopt to overcome PE (kegelling/reverse kegelling, edging, breathing, working on the mental aspects, etc) and think I have made progress in some areas, but I can't help thinking my PE is so deeply ingrained in my psyche after 20 years of severe PE that it makes it almost impossible to beat. The little messages sent from my brain telling me it's time to ejaculate upon commencing stimulation need to be intercepted and changed. Can I do it and how?
My main problem is that my Pre E is so bad that I can lurch from a leisurely 7 on the arousal scale while masturbating to a 9.5 without warning. I usually have a problem avoiding the ponr when using a full handed grip when masturbating with my right hand (I think because my frenulum is very sensitive and this grip applies pressure to that point). The last session I had I managed to last about 30 mins without reaching ponr while using that grip but the next time I tried had been happily masturbating for about 5 minutes and feeling relaxed at an arousal level 7 when all of a sudden I changed grip slightly and went straight to ponr inside 2 seconds.
I understand and accept all the theories and practices I need to adopt to overcome PE (kegelling/reverse kegelling, edging, breathing, working on the mental aspects, etc) and think I have made progress in some areas, but I can't help thinking my PE is so deeply ingrained in my psyche after 20 years of severe PE that it makes it almost impossible to beat. The little messages sent from my brain telling me it's time to ejaculate upon commencing stimulation need to be intercepted and changed. Can I do it and how?
Sharpshooter,
In your last paragraph you state that "I understand and accept all the theories and practices I need to adopt to overcome PE" and then in the same sentence you say "I can't help thinking my PE is so deeply ingrained in my psyche after 20 years of severe PE that it makes it almost impossible to beat". The second statement directly contradicts the first except when you say "almost".
I don't point this out to be critical but rather to show that you are working against yourself by believing your thoughts about P.E. being almost impossible to beat. You see, your mind is going to believe whatever you tell it to believe. It doesn't know any better. If you stick with your first statement and work with that, your mind will accept it as fact and act accordingly. I don't think anyone has P.E.; they just think they do because that is what they've taught themselves. I know that because I have taught myself to have it as well. Now I'm teaching myself not to have it. How? By doing the things recommended by everyone here that teach you to prolong sex by keeping your arousal level down and your awareness level up. It works with consistant practice and paitence. I have made tremendous gains in a short time with many failures along the way to show me where I'm aproaching it wrong. I don't think it will take years as pegasus suggests but it will take some time and the greatest obstacle is telling yourself that it won't work. You have to believe that you can do it. I believe that you can.
Many posters here report that once they have reached the PONR and backed off, they quickly climb right back up the scale again. I recommend, at least at the beginning, not even getting close to the PONR. That means edging is out for the time being. I recommend ballooning (Check out JamesMonroes methods for variety) for at least 30 to 40 minutes and never letting your arousal level get past a 7 on a 1-10 scale. This is possible (I did it today) and what you learn along the way is to be very concious of your arousal level by feeling the sensations and when you notice your heart rate increase and your breathing beconming more shallow gently ease off, do some triangle breathing, relax your muscles (you may find that you have had an involuntary kegel without even noticing it), do an easy reverse kegel, feel yourself move down a level or two and continue stimulation. Once you have mastered this and feel confident then you may want to move on to Edging, DO's and MMO's. You decide what is best and what works for you.
When you discover something unique that helps please share it here because we are all trying to accomplish the same thing untill we do.
Good luck with your work and trust that you will discover skills that you didn't know you had because you don't currently have them.
All the best!
OldRocker
In your last paragraph you state that "I understand and accept all the theories and practices I need to adopt to overcome PE" and then in the same sentence you say "I can't help thinking my PE is so deeply ingrained in my psyche after 20 years of severe PE that it makes it almost impossible to beat". The second statement directly contradicts the first except when you say "almost".
I don't point this out to be critical but rather to show that you are working against yourself by believing your thoughts about P.E. being almost impossible to beat. You see, your mind is going to believe whatever you tell it to believe. It doesn't know any better. If you stick with your first statement and work with that, your mind will accept it as fact and act accordingly. I don't think anyone has P.E.; they just think they do because that is what they've taught themselves. I know that because I have taught myself to have it as well. Now I'm teaching myself not to have it. How? By doing the things recommended by everyone here that teach you to prolong sex by keeping your arousal level down and your awareness level up. It works with consistant practice and paitence. I have made tremendous gains in a short time with many failures along the way to show me where I'm aproaching it wrong. I don't think it will take years as pegasus suggests but it will take some time and the greatest obstacle is telling yourself that it won't work. You have to believe that you can do it. I believe that you can.
Many posters here report that once they have reached the PONR and backed off, they quickly climb right back up the scale again. I recommend, at least at the beginning, not even getting close to the PONR. That means edging is out for the time being. I recommend ballooning (Check out JamesMonroes methods for variety) for at least 30 to 40 minutes and never letting your arousal level get past a 7 on a 1-10 scale. This is possible (I did it today) and what you learn along the way is to be very concious of your arousal level by feeling the sensations and when you notice your heart rate increase and your breathing beconming more shallow gently ease off, do some triangle breathing, relax your muscles (you may find that you have had an involuntary kegel without even noticing it), do an easy reverse kegel, feel yourself move down a level or two and continue stimulation. Once you have mastered this and feel confident then you may want to move on to Edging, DO's and MMO's. You decide what is best and what works for you.
When you discover something unique that helps please share it here because we are all trying to accomplish the same thing untill we do.
Good luck with your work and trust that you will discover skills that you didn't know you had because you don't currently have them.
All the best!
OldRocker
Bobbyj,
Yes and no. When your arousal goes down it means that you are learning to gain control as well as paying closer attention to your arousal level. Normal is always subjective. Some here feel normal as delayed ejaculation and some experience it as premature ejaculation. If you are feeling normal as reduced arousal then it means that you are learning to control when you get too aroused to control when you ejaculate or go over the top involuntarially (Big Word, I ,don't know if I spelled it right?).
Keep working with watching and participating with reducing your arousal level; it is a key element in gaining control of how your arousal level works and how you work with it!
Good for you Bobbyj; your progress inspires all of us! Thanks!
OldRocker
Yes and no. When your arousal goes down it means that you are learning to gain control as well as paying closer attention to your arousal level. Normal is always subjective. Some here feel normal as delayed ejaculation and some experience it as premature ejaculation. If you are feeling normal as reduced arousal then it means that you are learning to control when you get too aroused to control when you ejaculate or go over the top involuntarially (Big Word, I ,don't know if I spelled it right?).
Keep working with watching and participating with reducing your arousal level; it is a key element in gaining control of how your arousal level works and how you work with it!
Good for you Bobbyj; your progress inspires all of us! Thanks!
OldRocker
Thanks OldRocker and Pegasus - I'm not giving up and realise it takes time - just need a bit of encouragement now and then!
Sharpshooter,
That's great! The value of this forum is to encourage each other to continue working towards our goals and to celebrate every gain as a success along the way. Stick with it and let us know how you are doing.
Thanks!
OldRocker
That's great! The value of this forum is to encourage each other to continue working towards our goals and to celebrate every gain as a success along the way. Stick with it and let us know how you are doing.
Thanks!
OldRocker
Not only my arousal but my erection to I still tense up sometimes while ballooning to but I never go soft I'm eager to have sex again to see how much I've improved because its been about 2 months now I'll see my girl soon
Bobbyj,
Tensing up while ballooning is an indication of your arousal level (it's going up!) and can be used as a sign to relax a little more and do some deep breathing to bring you back down. I would practice this with your girl as well. Please send her over! (Just kidding!). Have a good one and enjoy the time together.
OldRocker
Tensing up while ballooning is an indication of your arousal level (it's going up!) and can be used as a sign to relax a little more and do some deep breathing to bring you back down. I would practice this with your girl as well. Please send her over! (Just kidding!). Have a good one and enjoy the time together.
OldRocker
Bobbyj,
Thanks, but I have my own fish to fry and she don't like other fish in her aquarium.
Much abliged just the same!
OldRocker
Thanks, but I have my own fish to fry and she don't like other fish in her aquarium.
Much abliged just the same!
OldRocker
Man I notice if I grab my dick or squeeze my legs tight I involuntary kegel is that normal and something I can fix?
Not sure I'm still in the right thread here but I wanted to relate something to what OldRocker said yesterday about refraining from edging at this stage of my rehabilitation because I would be too aroused and too close to the ponr. Now, I didn't wish to contradict that valuable advice but in my experience I find edging much easier and less arousing than masturbation. So, to tonight, I thought I would try it and see if this holds true for me...
I set the timer for a 25 minute session and began edging. Not too intense at all to begin with and I felt comfortable with no involuntary kegels. Then, I tried to incorporate a bit of masturbation and very soon had the dreaded involuntary kegels, so I went back to edging. This happened 2 or 3 times where I would try to masturbate during the edging session and soon feel my arousal shoot up and feel involuntary kegels. So, for the rest of the session I just edged but the funny thing was I would say my arousal level was 8-9 when edging, but I never really felt like I was going to hit the ponr anytime very soon, even though I was edging/ballooning the frenulum area almost constantly which is my most sensitive area.
So...what to make of this? Obviously, as soon as I switch to masturbation my brain must start sending signals that it's time to ejaculate and the involuntary kegels get going right away. However, as OldRocker hinted at, when I was edging I'm sure the physical stimulation is at least as great as when masturbating, but I had no problem with involuntary kegels then.
This all leads me to think my brain is currently hardwired to believe ejaculation is just around the corner as soon as I start masturbating or getting it on with a girl, clearly due to a multitude of previous bad experiences in both disciplines! I've never had a problem or bad experience edging and it all seems plain sailing on that front with no negative messaging from my brain. If I could take that mindset into sex I'd be most of the way there I think as the problem seems to be more or less in my head.
Enlightening, yet confusing..
I set the timer for a 25 minute session and began edging. Not too intense at all to begin with and I felt comfortable with no involuntary kegels. Then, I tried to incorporate a bit of masturbation and very soon had the dreaded involuntary kegels, so I went back to edging. This happened 2 or 3 times where I would try to masturbate during the edging session and soon feel my arousal shoot up and feel involuntary kegels. So, for the rest of the session I just edged but the funny thing was I would say my arousal level was 8-9 when edging, but I never really felt like I was going to hit the ponr anytime very soon, even though I was edging/ballooning the frenulum area almost constantly which is my most sensitive area.
So...what to make of this? Obviously, as soon as I switch to masturbation my brain must start sending signals that it's time to ejaculate and the involuntary kegels get going right away. However, as OldRocker hinted at, when I was edging I'm sure the physical stimulation is at least as great as when masturbating, but I had no problem with involuntary kegels then.
This all leads me to think my brain is currently hardwired to believe ejaculation is just around the corner as soon as I start masturbating or getting it on with a girl, clearly due to a multitude of previous bad experiences in both disciplines! I've never had a problem or bad experience edging and it all seems plain sailing on that front with no negative messaging from my brain. If I could take that mindset into sex I'd be most of the way there I think as the problem seems to be more or less in my head.
Enlightening, yet confusing..
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