Drinking Alone
- Thread starter islander
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Padawan787
Moderator Reserve, PEGym Hero
What you said is fine, it's your opinion. You should have expressed it better, that's all, the tone of your post was aggressive, belittling, dismissive, and lacked tact. No one is "bullying" you Mike.
My comments in this thread weren't positive, I disagreed with Islander and her views, but I wrote my posts in a polite manner (imo).
BigRooster
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Mike,
How we talk to people sets the tone for the conversation to come. Are you looking for an argument, or to help someone out? Are you being constructive, or destructive?
When the OP asked for your honest opinion, I'm sure she would be willing to welcome both good and bad, but we don't tolerate posts that insult, put down or belittle people.
I get what you're saying. You have an opinion, and you want it voiced. A lot of guys on here would agree with what you're saying, but it's not the content of what was said that is the issue, but instead how it was said. You want to post your thoughts and we definitely want to read them. But we also have rules to follow and this applies to everyone - you need to be polite.
Pirate Diplomacy: Telling someone to go to hell and have them look forward to the trip. I think it's something we should all practice more often.
How we talk to people sets the tone for the conversation to come. Are you looking for an argument, or to help someone out? Are you being constructive, or destructive?
When the OP asked for your honest opinion, I'm sure she would be willing to welcome both good and bad, but we don't tolerate posts that insult, put down or belittle people.
I get what you're saying. You have an opinion, and you want it voiced. A lot of guys on here would agree with what you're saying, but it's not the content of what was said that is the issue, but instead how it was said. You want to post your thoughts and we definitely want to read them. But we also have rules to follow and this applies to everyone - you need to be polite.
Pirate Diplomacy: Telling someone to go to hell and have them look forward to the trip. I think it's something we should all practice more often.
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The only beverage that goes with Football (soccer) or Rugby is beer.
Sometimes I watch games on my own, and therefore drink on my own. Normally 3 Pints for Rugby and 4 Pints for football. Beer, Larger, Bitter or Ale. It's all nice.
EU standards for drinking are stupid. I have just had 3 Tins (2.1 units each, 6.3 units total) of Stella before I go out. UK Chief Medical Officers recommend that men do not regularly exceed 3-4 units daily (it's on the side of the tin).
Drinking alcohol alone is no big deal. Getting drunk to the point of passing out alone... Hmm, seek help?
Sometimes I watch games on my own, and therefore drink on my own. Normally 3 Pints for Rugby and 4 Pints for football. Beer, Larger, Bitter or Ale. It's all nice.
EU standards for drinking are stupid. I have just had 3 Tins (2.1 units each, 6.3 units total) of Stella before I go out. UK Chief Medical Officers recommend that men do not regularly exceed 3-4 units daily (it's on the side of the tin).
Drinking alcohol alone is no big deal. Getting drunk to the point of passing out alone... Hmm, seek help?
Here is an opinion. You seem to have a complex going on and are trying to balance it out with a macho man persona on an anonymous internet forum.
well I do 1 glass of water and one beer and keep working. Im almost done for the day now 6 beers later! lol It is relaxing. There are many reasons people drink and for me its is to relax whan I am alone. when im with others or out doing something I never drink.
true... I missed the posts, but looks like it was handled, lol!
Islander, my post was not contentious in anyway. Good luck in your trial-and-errors.
Last night I drank three beers and then smoked a bowl. I don't do this regularly anymore, the first time in about 4 weeks or longer. I use to smoke everyday but that was my first in just under a year. It was Friday night and I wanted to wind down after a long week. I see no problem with that. With my recent history of drug abuse, it sometimes is difficult to control how much you use, addiction or a problem is defined exactly as that, no being able to control how much of a substance you use.
I have that person on block I don't see it's posts.
Thanks for all the relplies
I agree with beers and yard work. Beer while doing something. I meant sitting in a chair drinking alone at night in my original post.
The guy I referenced sucked down 6 on a first date. The guy I see now doesn't drink unless I drink. Light weight which is good lol
I'm happy I didn't grow up with drinking parents or siblings. As an adult I drink. Not often. I can suck down several mixed drinks and I party like a rock star (have it spend it lol) party doesn't have to mean getting drunk or too high to function.
But I guess I'm very picky or nervous when it comes to NEW people because you don't know how they handle themselves. That's what I'm coming away with y alls help.
Thanks as usual for your points of view. Big hug!
Thanks for all the relplies
I agree with beers and yard work. Beer while doing something. I meant sitting in a chair drinking alone at night in my original post.
The guy I referenced sucked down 6 on a first date. The guy I see now doesn't drink unless I drink. Light weight which is good lol
I'm happy I didn't grow up with drinking parents or siblings. As an adult I drink. Not often. I can suck down several mixed drinks and I party like a rock star (have it spend it lol) party doesn't have to mean getting drunk or too high to function.
But I guess I'm very picky or nervous when it comes to NEW people because you don't know how they handle themselves. That's what I'm coming away with y alls help.
Thanks as usual for your points of view. Big hug!
When I was younger, I was very shy and had trouble starting conversations with new dates. I found that a drink or two loosened me up so I could engage in interesting conversation. 50 years later, I still find a drink or two (whiskey, gin or beer) before dinner generates a nice content feeling and makes dinner that much more enjoyable.
Sorry islander, but I doubt we would enjoy each others company. I would have to ditch you after the first date.
Sorry islander, but I doubt we would enjoy each others company. I would have to ditch you after the first date.
Rep! That would be the hope. This thread was MY question MY concerns etc... the hope is the person on the other end can make their own decisions. Thank you for posting XO
Rather than trt to comment on everyone's views here, I'll just dump mine, and you guys can then feel free to kiss or kick me as you see fit x
I drink regularly. Most days. By choice, because I like it. Sometimes alone, sometimes in company. Sometimes I have a little too much, sometimes it doesn't even touch the sides. I can happily not drink too, I don't go crazy or have withdrawal like an alcoholic might. I mean I smoke too, and if I go more than a couple of hours without a cigarette, it affects me badly. Alcohol does not have that effect on me. My GF a couple of GFs ago was worried about me drinking too much, she said I bet you can't go a month without drinking. So I did. From that day. It was easy. Honestly, the first day past that month, I couldn't wait to go out and have some beers, and boy, they tasted good, but that's because I like having a few drinks, and I'm sorry, occasionally I like getting absolutely hammered. It's fun.
I think it all depends on your reasons. I'm generally a pretty confident guy, but a pint or a whiskey or something to loosen up in any situation where you're not 100% comfortble is always helpful. I don't think that's an alcoholism problem, I think that's absolutely normal for anyone.
I almost aways have a whiskey or a half pint before job interviews (followed by a mint of course!) - It takes that little self-conscious edge off me, and I am more confortable, confident, assertive, bold, all of those things that are really useful in that environment. I'm not drunk. That would be stupid.
You know what, yes, it would be wonderful if I could be the perfect balance of humility and confidence, in any given situation, if I cuold be the perfect man..
.. but I'm not.
Im flawed.
And so are you.
It's called being human. I make no excuses for my weaknesses (of which as some of you know already, alcohol is not my greatest) because I'm human. I try my best generally. I try to get better at things that are important to me, and I don't care about the things that aren't.
I'm not going to Christian heaven. Or hell, because I'm not Christian. I've got this far in life without dying, and I'm doing AOK thank you. I choose to drink regularly at the same time because I like it.
If that's not something you could tolerate if we met in person islander, that's fine, best of luck with the rest of your life and all. I get that. If you were to hold it against me, judge me or make life harder for me on the basis of what I choose to do to myself, then I'd think you were a bitch. But you know, at the end of the day, life's too short to hold judgement or grudges.
I think if drinking makes a person unpleasant to be around, then move on, no hard feelings. If not, I have to say I disagree with judging them on the basis of how they live their life in the meantime if nobody else is hurt in the process.
There you go. rant over. Im just a live and let live kind of person. And no hard feelings either way x
I drink regularly. Most days. By choice, because I like it. Sometimes alone, sometimes in company. Sometimes I have a little too much, sometimes it doesn't even touch the sides. I can happily not drink too, I don't go crazy or have withdrawal like an alcoholic might. I mean I smoke too, and if I go more than a couple of hours without a cigarette, it affects me badly. Alcohol does not have that effect on me. My GF a couple of GFs ago was worried about me drinking too much, she said I bet you can't go a month without drinking. So I did. From that day. It was easy. Honestly, the first day past that month, I couldn't wait to go out and have some beers, and boy, they tasted good, but that's because I like having a few drinks, and I'm sorry, occasionally I like getting absolutely hammered. It's fun.
I think it all depends on your reasons. I'm generally a pretty confident guy, but a pint or a whiskey or something to loosen up in any situation where you're not 100% comfortble is always helpful. I don't think that's an alcoholism problem, I think that's absolutely normal for anyone.
I almost aways have a whiskey or a half pint before job interviews (followed by a mint of course!) - It takes that little self-conscious edge off me, and I am more confortable, confident, assertive, bold, all of those things that are really useful in that environment. I'm not drunk. That would be stupid.
You know what, yes, it would be wonderful if I could be the perfect balance of humility and confidence, in any given situation, if I cuold be the perfect man..
.. but I'm not.
Im flawed.
And so are you.
It's called being human. I make no excuses for my weaknesses (of which as some of you know already, alcohol is not my greatest) because I'm human. I try my best generally. I try to get better at things that are important to me, and I don't care about the things that aren't.
I'm not going to Christian heaven. Or hell, because I'm not Christian. I've got this far in life without dying, and I'm doing AOK thank you. I choose to drink regularly at the same time because I like it.
If that's not something you could tolerate if we met in person islander, that's fine, best of luck with the rest of your life and all. I get that. If you were to hold it against me, judge me or make life harder for me on the basis of what I choose to do to myself, then I'd think you were a bitch. But you know, at the end of the day, life's too short to hold judgement or grudges.
I think if drinking makes a person unpleasant to be around, then move on, no hard feelings. If not, I have to say I disagree with judging them on the basis of how they live their life in the meantime if nobody else is hurt in the process.
There you go. rant over. Im just a live and let live kind of person. And no hard feelings either way x
lol Spanky!
I would say that I am not a drinker. I have one drink if I go out with friends (a strong Vodka-Sprite mix) and that usually loosens me up enough to be okay and once I'm comfortable in that first few minutes, I'm comfortable being myself the rest of the night and even when the "drink" wears off, I've made myself comfortable to the point I can be quite happy in any surrounding and anybody new that shows up I treat like I've known them for years, just meeting them.
I am a lightweight myself, but I just can't drink beer. It's gross to me, not saying anyone else is damned for drinking it, it's just low alc content for the taste you have to endure...
a glass of wine is alright during dinner as I collect them. However, I only drink them on special occasions. LOL!
I've got my own tolerance thresholds too, though... It's much the same with smoking for me. If you're just trying to get laid, OR if you've grown to like the person, you make provisions. If a girl pulled out a cigarette on our first date, she'd get the axe instantly. but in my case, my friend hammered at me for a while, and after I'd grown to like her as a person without physical contact (over the internet), I made a bit of an exception for her... still grossed me out she smoked, but that's what allowing a person to be themselves does. I have a strict no-tolerance for smoking, but I allowed it from her because I was gonna get laid by someone I liked as a person... can't lose right? LOL!
My no-smoking policy is still in effect and I've been actively rejecting all candidates that smoke anything. Cigarettes, Cigarillos, Tobacco, Hookah, marijuana, anything.
that's why I told her, "you know what and who you want in your life." She knows what she can and can't handle...
I don't want a smoker in my life, now and I will no longer make that provision for any woman.
I would say that I am not a drinker. I have one drink if I go out with friends (a strong Vodka-Sprite mix) and that usually loosens me up enough to be okay and once I'm comfortable in that first few minutes, I'm comfortable being myself the rest of the night and even when the "drink" wears off, I've made myself comfortable to the point I can be quite happy in any surrounding and anybody new that shows up I treat like I've known them for years, just meeting them.
I am a lightweight myself, but I just can't drink beer. It's gross to me, not saying anyone else is damned for drinking it, it's just low alc content for the taste you have to endure...
a glass of wine is alright during dinner as I collect them. However, I only drink them on special occasions. LOL!
I've got my own tolerance thresholds too, though... It's much the same with smoking for me. If you're just trying to get laid, OR if you've grown to like the person, you make provisions. If a girl pulled out a cigarette on our first date, she'd get the axe instantly. but in my case, my friend hammered at me for a while, and after I'd grown to like her as a person without physical contact (over the internet), I made a bit of an exception for her... still grossed me out she smoked, but that's what allowing a person to be themselves does. I have a strict no-tolerance for smoking, but I allowed it from her because I was gonna get laid by someone I liked as a person... can't lose right? LOL!
My no-smoking policy is still in effect and I've been actively rejecting all candidates that smoke anything. Cigarettes, Cigarillos, Tobacco, Hookah, marijuana, anything.
that's why I told her, "you know what and who you want in your life." She knows what she can and can't handle...
I don't want a smoker in my life, now and I will no longer make that provision for any woman.
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Most I drink was 7-8 beers in about 4-5 hours, did not even get drunk. or buzzed. That was just a one time binge drink. Have not done it since.
I rarely drink though, way less then the average drinker.
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Islander you made me drink the whole bottle of merlot last night; thank you! ( but boy does my head hurt)
Peg: yea most guys who closet drink would pass on me which would be a mutual favor! All about preference.
Spanky: great post. We would never meet because I don't hunt at bars! If I do it's to hear someone I know playing (band) and we are in a big group and I'm not there to meet anyone.
But all of your points of reference are great. There is no right or wrong. It's preference.
Look get back on topic. This isnt in the relationship forum thread!
We have morphed it to drinking because men are too nervous before a date, doing yard work, watching the sunset, can't relax without the taste etc
Perfection is not a word that can or should be used on this forum lol
SBE of course your right. My bff drinks a six pack every night 100% functional man i have no fear or disgust
He is the guy i do most of my drinking with lol
But I want to give new people more time. Like everyone is saying they drink they know their limits etc.
I smoke alone. I need it. I don't smoke in public. It alters my state of being. Different than alcohol
Final thoughts: I'm chicken and need to trust a little more and give a person more time.
Cusp
La Crema pinot noir. If you get a chance drink that entire bottle while watching the sunset. Don't ask me what time I start.lol. Sunset can last a minute or three hours haha. I'll show you mine if you show me yours????
Pady: Ty
Thanks everyone for taking your time to post.
Spanky: great post. We would never meet because I don't hunt at bars! If I do it's to hear someone I know playing (band) and we are in a big group and I'm not there to meet anyone.
But all of your points of reference are great. There is no right or wrong. It's preference.
Look get back on topic. This isnt in the relationship forum thread!
We have morphed it to drinking because men are too nervous before a date, doing yard work, watching the sunset, can't relax without the taste etc
Perfection is not a word that can or should be used on this forum lol
SBE of course your right. My bff drinks a six pack every night 100% functional man i have no fear or disgust
He is the guy i do most of my drinking with lol
But I want to give new people more time. Like everyone is saying they drink they know their limits etc.
I smoke alone. I need it. I don't smoke in public. It alters my state of being. Different than alcohol
Final thoughts: I'm chicken and need to trust a little more and give a person more time.
Cusp
La Crema pinot noir. If you get a chance drink that entire bottle while watching the sunset. Don't ask me what time I start.lol. Sunset can last a minute or three hours haha. I'll show you mine if you show me yours????
Pady: Ty
Thanks everyone for taking your time to post.
By the way isn't it interesting how defensive we get. If you meet someone at a bar hello you are at a bar! Odds are they drink!
