Do all women test?

[jelqman]

This has been going through my mind lately, since my recent 2 month relationship didn't work out. I noticed the closer I got to this girl, the more she would test me.

My question is this: Do all women test men they're romantically involved with? If so, what's the purpose of all of these tests?

Ladies of PEGym, please chime in!

 

[MrsDonjelqer76]

I honestly don't know what you mean by testing you. I would need you to elaborate or clarify with examples.

 

[jelqman]

Well from what I know, a test is something women either consciously or unconsciously do in order to determine if you're congruent with the image that you portray or see what kind of reaction she can get out of you (i.e. is this guy really confident or does he just act like it)? I've heard that this is something immature or younger women do (around my age range of 18-25).

Some examples I had during my relationship:

- girl invites me over to a party, and spends the majority of it hanging out with another guy (probably trying to see if I'd get jealous)
- one day after getting done in the sack, she tells me she's hungry and she wants me to make her food
- one night i text her "good night beautiful ", and she replies with "awww how kewt" in a sarcastic tone
- I sent her a message on facebook with an 80's dating montage video, and I told her the guy 2 minutes in is a hunk. She replies sarcastically with "you're right. why am i wasting my time with you again?"

 

[Realman]

yeah they want to know if you are false advertising yourself. They basically want to know if your the sh*t.As said above.

 

[MrsDonjelqer76]

Guess I can't relate lol. I've honestly got nothing. I mean, it's one thing to test a guy out in a new relationship, but eventually that should stop. I'm in my early 30's and happily married, so I don't need to do the immature testing or games.

 

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

I noticed the closer I got to this girl, the more she would test me.

My question is this: Do all women test men they're romantically involved with? If so, what's the purpose of all of these tests?

Ladies of PEGym, please chime in!

The more interested a woman is in you the lesser she will subconsciously test you. Apparently the only person between the two of you who is getting closer to the other is you. She isn't getting any close to you emotionally. What you perceive to be tests may not even be tests. She may just not be interested in you.

 

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

girl invites me over to a party, and spends the majority of it hanging out with another guy (probably trying to see if I'd get jealous)

Testing you for a reaction (jealously,insecurity) but isn't interested in you. A display of blatant disrespect towards you.

 

[CaptainJohnson]

My girlfriend stopped making a habit of presenting me with a 5 page multiple choice questionaire and a pen after the first two weeks. If you find yourself in a dark room with 100 other students for 3 hours at a time being graded on your relationship performance by scantron sheet, you may either want to break up with her, or admit that sleeping with your teacher was a horrible idea.

 

[littletobig]

all women test. What a all women want is an secure man who has his own social life and indipendance. They do test in the beginning and will keep doing the test during the whole relationship to see you remain a man.

 

[CaptainJohnson]

Now for a serious post:

My girlfriend has actually never done this kind of test, but I have known many girls who do. I believe I've heard guys call it the sh*t-test. It is basically to see if you are full of sh*t.

Essentially, the theory is if you catch someone off-guard, you may see another side to them, and that in itself can expose whether or not this person is honest and trustworthy. Supposedly, a girl would do this probably due to previous bad experiences trusting guys. Now, to be honest, I don't fully buy the whole "sh*t-test" thing. I think a large part of it is that some people are critical for a variety of reasons, but also that sometimes teasing, which is an important form of flirting, is taken too far. Some people just plain suck at teasing.

At the end of the day it could be a mix of a bunch of things. I wouldn't want to stay with a girl who kept putting me down, but I would also always have a response ready to turn the negative into a positive. Honestly, all those comments are just games. If you are up to play, have fun. If you would rather skip the games, don't bother putting up with it.

 

[jelqman]

She was definitely sending me mixed signals then. What I find weird though is that her parents knew about me, I met all of her close friends, she would leave her clothing/shampoo at my place, she made me breakfast a few times, we had tons of sex, and she even sent a picture of me and her in my bed to her sister. Why would she do all those things if she wasn't interested in something more?

 

[camaro]

Do men test women...?

 

[jelqman]

Now for a serious post:

My girlfriend has actually never done this kind of test, but I have known many girls who do. I believe I've heard guys call it the sh*t-test. It is basically to see if you are full of sh*t.

Essentially, the theory is if you catch someone off-guard, you may see another side to them, and that in itself can expose whether or not this person is honest and trustworthy. Supposedly, a girl would do this probably due to previous bad experiences trusting guys. Now, to be honest, I don't fully buy the whole "sh*t-test" thing. I think a large part of it is that some people are critical for a variety of reasons, but also that sometimes teasing, which is an important form of flirting, is taken too far. Some people just plain suck at teasing.

At the end of the day it could be a mix of a bunch of things. I wouldn't want to stay with a girl who kept putting me down, but I would also always have a response ready to turn the negative into a positive. Honestly, all those comments are just games. If you are up to play, have fun. If you would rather skip the games, don't bother putting up with it.

So that's what all that was! I had a feeling she was playing games a bit, but I just couldn't put my finger on it so I kept going hoping this would turn into something more. Are there any specific tests your girlfriend has done before?

 

[CaptainJohnson]

Do men test women...?

I don't know, do you test women?

 

[jelqman]

Guess I can't relate lol. I've honestly got nothing. I mean, it's one thing to test a guy out in a new relationship, but eventually that should stop. I'm in my early 30's and happily married, so I don't need to do the immature testing or games.

Out of curiosity, do you have any examples of testing guys early in a relationship?

 

[jelqman]

Testing you for a reaction (jealously,insecurity) but isn't interested in you. A display of blatant disrespect towards you.

She was definitely sending me mixed signals then. What I find weird though is that her parents knew about me, I met all of her close friends, she would leave her clothing at my place, she made me breakfast a few times, we had tons of sex, and she even sent a picture of me and her in my bed to her sister. Why would she do all those things if she wasn't interested in something more?

 

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

She was definitely sending me mixed signals then. What I find weird though is that her parents knew about me, I met all of her close friends, she would leave her clothing at my place, she made me breakfast a few times, we had tons of sex, and she even sent a picture of me and her in my bed to her sister. Why would she do all those things if she wasn't interested in something more?

Mission Accomplished. Don't complicate things. Don't fall for the ONENITIS trap.

 

[CaptainJohnson]

So that's what all that was! I had a feeling she was playing games a bit, but I just couldn't put my finger on it so I kept going hoping this would turn into something more. Are there any specific tests your girlfriend has done before?

Sorry, I was unclear. My gf doesn't really "test" at all. Like I said, I don't even think it's a test as much as it is bad flirting. My best friend does it all the time though. She says things to tease and joke around, but it comes out harsh and mean. Not everyone can tolerate it. I had another close friend who got fed up and wanted nothing to do with her, until I told him she actually sees him as one of her closest friends and she was just trying to joke around with him.

I think another large part of it is my best friend tries to knock guys down a peg when they have large egos. At the end of the day, an ego is fine as long as you also have a good sense of humour and humility.

EDIT: On that note, I think many guys have made the same mistake. This is related to camaro's question earlier. Many guys try to flirt with girls, and end up making asses of themselves when they say something that comes out incredibly critical or mean. Maybe the guy was a fantastic dude, but now that girl thinks he is just a jerk. It happens to both genders.

 

[jelqman]

Mission Accomplished. Don't complicate things. Don't fall for the ONENITIS trap.

I still don't understand. I'm assuming she did her job pretty fucking well.

 

[jelqman]

Sorry, I was unclear. My gf doesn't really "test" at all. Like I said, I don't even think it's a test as much as it is bad flirting. My best friend does it all the time though. She says things to tease and joke around, but it comes out harsh and mean. Not everyone can tolerate it. I had another close friend who got fed up and wanted nothing to do with her, until I told him she actually sees him as one of her closest friends and she was just trying to joke around with him.

I think another large part of it is my best friend tries to knock guys down a peg when they have large egos. At the end of the day, an ego is fine as long as you also have a good sense of humour and humility.

Well consider yourself lucky brother; it must feel really good to have someone in your life whose authentic. Having to put up with all these "tests" and games with this girl really did a number on my self-esteem. I should have jumped ship after that party, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt.