Dating someone in a wheelchair

[justadude]

Over Christmas I did some volunteer work and met some older people and one of them a woman, we got talking about relationships. To get to the point she said that if she met a guy she liked and connected with him she wouldn't care if he was in a wheelchair. I found this interesting because I could understand if she was with someone and had 10 or so years of marriage under her belt and then her partner was in a wheelchair from an accident or such because you'd know and love that person alot but to meet someone in a wheelchair.... I don't want to sound superficial but I'm trying to work it out in my head.

Maybe things we put so much emphasis on now doesn't matter so much the more you get older and priorities change. Hmm, I found this interesting.

 

[CUSP82]

People in wheelchairs are people too or did I miss something?

 

[Steve23]

"if she met a guy she liked and connected with him she wouldn't care if he was in a wheelchair." If I met my girlfriend and she acted and was the same as she is now but in a wheelchair I wouldn't think twice about dating her.

 

[somebodyelse]

Priorities do change, and we meet people who beat their attributes and make it part of their charm (Wheelchair athletes, etc.) For me, what I'm looking for in my immediate future is a woman who can have, and mother, my children. if she's lost the use of one or more of her legs, being pregnant can't be good for her. If it is, I don't know how i'd feel having to explain to my kids why mommy's in a wheelchair and i'm not. Either way, If you're not looking for certain attributes that could be important to someone else, you're not really worried about may be perceived as a handicap. Especially of that person owns their attribute and makes it part of them and not a hindrance to their happiness.

So yea, could I be happy with a girl who was handicapable? sure. Would I actively seek a woman who couldn't walk before we've had some time together? most likely not.

 

[justadude]

"if she met a guy she liked and connected with him she wouldn't care if he was in a wheelchair." If I met my girlfriend and she acted and was the same as she is now but in a wheelchair I wouldn't think twice about dating her.

Thats nice but thats being said from the other side of the fence as you know who she is now.

So yea, could I be happy with a girl who was handicapable? sure. Would I actively seek a woman who couldn't walk before we've had some time together? most likely not.

I agree but if I was married to her i'd be a different story

 

[Steve23]

It's the same with someone you don't find attractive, would you go spark up a conversation with them planning to date them while in your mind thinking they could be the one? probably not. Without knowing the person I'm sure most people would try and choose to date someone that didn't have noticeable physical problems.

 

[justadude]

It's the same with someone you don't find attractive, would you go spark up a conversation with them planning to date them while in your mind thinking they could be the one? probably not. Without knowing the person I'm sure most people would try and choose to date someone that didn't have noticeable physical problems.

EXACTLY! I just found it a little interesting that the woman didn't care prior. I didn't know for sure if it was a woman thing or an age thing, i was just curious.

 

[Steve23]

But how you put what the woman told you is she gave the guy a chance and she liked him so she wouldn't care if he was in a wheelchair, so sounds like the other side of the fence like how I mentioned my girlfriend before.

 

[closeed258]

Personally I wouldn't date someone in a wheelchair. If I was already in a relationship and then she ended up in a wheelchair I'd like to think I'd stay with her.

 

[somebodyelse]

But how you put what the woman told you is she gave the guy a chance and she liked him so she wouldn't care if he was in a wheelchair, so sounds like the other side of the fence like how I mentioned my girlfriend before.

Which goes back to what I said. What is she looking for in a relationship. Is having a child able to play basket ball and other sports with kids, and carrying her across thresholds or climbing stairs important or not. If her life is setup so that these things are met, she'll not care. If she's okay with chatting up a guy who's wheelchair bound, because he owns it, that means the things she finds important aren't tied to him having use of his lower half.

Just as I said, it depends what your priorities are in life. If you just want someone who shares your mind and life and gives you companionship, you can definitely deal with chair bound men/women. if your life requires something more than someone can give you, then you will, sadly, draw a line there. nothing else to it.

 

[Steve23]

Personally I wouldn't date someone in a wheelchair. If I was already in a relationship and then she ended up in a wheelchair I'd like to think I'd stay with her.

My girlfriend said if I lost my arms she would help me go to the toilet, I said no thanks I'll learn to do it with my feet through yoga training.