haha I guess you weren't kidding when you said you were in a cynical mood. But yes you are definitely right to a certain degree. I guess everyone's perspective about society is altered/affected by the experiences they go through in life. And for people like us.. who seem to have lost the ones that made life and everything in general seem much better. It always seemed like there was something good about eveything. And if their wasn't.. I would always find a way to find the good. The break up definitely made me pretty cynical. But now after 5 months of still being "friends" with her, I'm kind o starting let go of the cynicism. It's a slow process, but I can feel it happening. And I think it's because I try to spend more time with my friends.
Yesterday I had a talk with two of my teachers about why I'm failing those classes. I mentioned I have been having personal issues and both of them asked me if it was a breakup. I've never talked to a teacher in person before and I was so surprised at how understanding they were. The world maybe full of tons of morons and idiots, but that talk with my teachers reminded me that there are also a lot of good people in this world. I don't know, i guess it just makes me feel better about life in general.
Also everyone I talk to, who have gone through a lot of relationships(including those teachers), always tell me that i'll find someone better and eventually i'll get over her. But I can't help but question that. I just don't understand how that can happen. It's confusing to me. I feel like they don't understand what kind of a connection I had with this girl. But then again maybe they had similar connection with girl in their past. Who knows.
It's funny how when you think about it, you can't ever be sure of anything really. Can people know anything ever for sure? we're not gods.
hmm I've never had molson before. Then again I've only been drinking for like 5 months. since the breakup haha. I'll try to get a hold of it next time i'm at a party.
You don't understand them telling you that you will get over her and find someone else because at the time, you don't THINK you'll find anyone else and it's your comfort level telling you otherwise.
The first time my ex and I broke up, it was over something TOTALLY stupid but rather than compromise, she opted to pull the "bitch" card and broke it off with me and accused me of not being her friend and all this other ridiculous bullshit that I fell for. I felt bad, I was heartbroken and I was bummed because not only had I lost a good thing but I had lost a very sexual woman, a woman who ACTUALLY expressed interest in me, took care of me and did alot for me.
Fast forward 6 months later and we reunite, get back together "sort of" and start having crazy ass sex again. Then, JUST like the year before, the holidays approached and she got "weird" on me again, just like she had the prior year when we broke up.
Reading her final "go to hell" email hurt because I hadn't done anything wrong. I had given her so much in the way of emotion, physical love, financial assistance and to then be told you're a piece of sh*t...............well, it hurt...........ALOT. I had been used and had but it took two tours of duty to realize what she was doing to me.
Getting her "so long" email was hard because that meant that I was once again alone with no special girl to call my own. No one to share my life with or my dreams with. Yep, sucks.
My point is that with the passage of time, you eventually do get over your break up and the girl you loved and move forward in your life and you find someone else who will appreciate you for you.
