yay its not over.........

[phil88]

Well really I dont know what to say. I am confused as i could be. here is the convo. I am "J", she is "A". This took place over facebook.

A: Hi

A: Jesse please talk to me.....

A: I broke up with my boyfriend.

J: Why? when?

A: I want to see u

J: For what?

A: I miss u

J: lol, why did you two break up?

A: Jesse dont laugh.....

J: Im not laughing at you. I miss you to. A lot, you know that.

A: I'm so sorry Jesse, but u know y I was with him.(I slept with a few women after becoming depressed when she made up a fake guy to scare me into committing to her...so i am untrustworthy.......)

J: Lol i dont think i can see you

J: You have no idea what you did to me, how I feel, how you make me feel. My head has really been fuct up because of this.

A: u told me u wanted to be with me

J: I do, more than anything. remember when I told you that you scared me? I have no idea what to do, i want you so bad but its gonna end so horribly.

A: Everyone is going to hurt u Jesse (this lovely lady would be were i got that some people are worth suffering for crap, she likes to remind me whenever i say i am doing something to avoid pain)

J: you keep saying that lol

A: Cant we try?

J: i dont know, sex would be one thing but idn about being together....

J: I just cant help thinking if you want me why werent you with me before?

A: You know why.....(see first bit of red text)

J: lol really?

J: your actually still gonna say thats my fault..... what was i supposed to do?
you told me you were fucking someone else......

A: Jesse.....

J: What am I supposed to do? I want you, your going to hurt me worse then anyone
i have ever met possibly could before and i still want to see you. I am confused, you know
how i get when i am confused..... I dont know what to do.

A: Thats so sad....

J: lmao, you do remember the last time you said that right? Before she made up the fake dude, i told her if she ever met someone she had to promise to tell me before they slept together, i knew i would not take it well lol, at that point she told me it was the saddest thing shed heard)

A: ..........

J: I am sorry, look I am getting upset and i am gonna say some stupid things, can i call you tommorow?

A: ......k, but remember Jesse, even if we do not end up together your still special to me.



and then she signed off before i could say anything else............what the fuck am I supposed to do. very confused about this. At this point i wish i had never lost my virginity lol. Once again I reiterate the man who said "it is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all" was a fucking moron.

what do i do? At this point this is the first time i have talked to her since that ordeal with her boyfriend at my work. My plan was supposed to be cut her off, but thats what i think is best and not what i want. I want her. More then I have ever wanted anything. god dammit. this is very frustrating....

 

[GTO]

If it's that painful, let it go.

 

[normalguy]

You seem to have a troubled history together, but if you want her so badly, maybe you should give her another chance...

 

[blulite]

just use her for sex...simple as that....dont get yourself attached...then when your bored just dump her

 

[irheretogrow]

If I were you I would test my PE stamina on her =d

 

[Qarzan]

Be clear about what part of you wants what: your heart, your head, and your dick. Move forward accordingly.

 

[phil88]

I am not going to call her. Being this girls rebound until she found someone that makes her happy would not be healthy for me.

 

[rimlas]

I am not going to call her. Being this girls rebound until she found someone that makes her happy would not be healthy for me.

I was in the same situation, I turned a girl down because I was definitely not going to be her rebound. Nothing came of it, not really sure if it was the best route but I feel better that I did it. It could've been the best route, I'm going to be seeing more of her this summer so we'll see.

It's funny because once her boyfriend found about us and didn't want to continue the relationship she went running back to him. This is all after I rejected her, your girl might do the same.

 

[phil88]

I am not going to call her. Being this girls rebound until she found someone that makes her happy would not be healthy for me.

i made it a week, and i can blame the alchohol so i dont have to feel bad, however i did phone her. she was very happy to hear from me. we are going out for ice cream on thursday. I am gonna be so pissed tommoroow lol.

 

[wanthis]

Once again I reiterate the man who said "it is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all" was a fucking moron.

I could not agree with you more man.

I am not going to call her. Being this girls rebound until she found someone that makes her happy would not be healthy for me.

This is so true. Nice girls that you fall in love with seem to do that. And all it does is fucks us guys up in the head soo bad. Its brutal.

Dude I honestly feel you pain. I know that it seems like it won't work out, especially after all the things that have happened after you guys broke up. But it really sounds like you were in love with this girl. Give it a shot man. I know if my ex ever wanted to work things out again I would. I would question it like you are too, but I feel like I would still give her another chance. Just because I know that when I was with her, I was truly happy. And happiness is the ultimate goal isnt it? But its your decision man.

 

[GTO]

... Nice girls that you fall in love with seem to do that. And all it does is fucks us guys up in the head soo bad. Its brutal ... I know if my ex ever wanted to work things out again I would. I would question it like you are too, but I feel like I would still give her another chance. Just because I know that when I was with her, I was truly happy.

After reading that, can you honestly say you were "happy, or was it something else? Like simply being content knowing you had someone in your life? And is that sort of contentment really happiness?

 

[Wentworth]

After reading that, can you honestly say you were "happy, or was it something else? Like simply being content knowing you had someone in your life? And is that sort of contentment really happiness?

Im not sure what his situation is, but I can relate to what he said. I was doing some interesting drugs and was feeling depressed and broke up with my girlfriend of over a year and my best friend for the 4 years prior for no reason. Fast forward 8 months and its April, Im in a new relationship for the past 3 months with a girl that I met 6 months ago and I still find myself thinking about my ex. Even though I have someone now who is better looking, and a really fun individual, I still miss my ex and its an awful feeling. I dont want any advice, Im sure I should go back to my ex but she has moved on and we were fairly in love and I wouldnt trouble her with that now. But being in the position you described, I am happy that I have someone, but I was truly happy before.

 

[GTO]

Not giving advice (like you asked), but your situation was different (I believe) and you said you were the one to break it off (I'm assuming it was due to the drug use). We don't have the full details of his case in regards to who broke up with whom and the dynamics behind it, but just like you say, everyone's moved on. So the question is why then go back - especially if you have someone that loves ypu and that you are in love with? It can be hard to let go of the familiar ...

 

[BigO]

I would entrtain the ideas of dating someone else. if you date her, proceed with caution and dont commitg, at least for 90 days. good luck on your decision

 

[Wentworth]

I suppose its the regret that kills us inside, if I could go back and undo what I did I would, but I cant and Im learning to deal with it. But if the OP can avoid the regret then I would say give it another shot, he doesnt have much to lose, and if it comes to an end a second time then he will know for sure it wasnt meant to be. Women can be very frustrating individuals but I dont let them call all the shots in a relationship, Im a man and I dont take any sh*t from anyone anyway, why would I take sh*t from a girl that is supposed to like me. My advice to the OP would be to not let any woman run your life, not until you want them to anyway, YOU tell her whats good and she should listen. On the flipside, you also have to have some leeway so that she thinks that she is getting what she wants. Most women think they are so smart and have their men wrapped around their fingers, but who really makes the decisions in the relationship? You have to let her have the little things that she wants most of the time, let her win the little battles like where you go for dinner, or what to watch on tv, and she will love you for it, and when it comes to making a big decision or doing something that you feel strongly about, you make the decisions and she will respect you for it.

Kinda got offtopic there but I was just trying to say dont get whipped like some of my friends are, you dont want to end up doing everything she asks, or she will get bored with you anyway. Let her know whats good and if she doesnt like it then she can take a hike, the one thing Ive learned is that theres a million other girls that will give you less sh*t and are probably better looking.

 

[MrBigDick]

I maintain that ex's are ex's for a good and valid reason. I went back to one once and it wasn't worth it. She and I now no longer speak to one another. I was emotionally abused in that relationship and yeah, she may have been familiar and I might have gotten alot of sex but overall, it wasn't worth it.

I wasn't whipped by any means, I held my ground but if she didn't get her way, she'd throw an adult version of a teenage girl's temper tantrum. It got SOOO bad it was like walking on egg shells all of the time even with the simplest of conversations because I never knew what would and what wouldn't set her off or that she'd take something I said, mentally store it and mull on it over the period of a week or two and then out of the blue, emotionally treat me like sh*t using whatever we had discussed over a week ago as a justification for such treatment. I FINALLY snapped out of it and kicked her pathetic, 51 year old, scrawny white ass to the curb. NO woman will every mistreat me like that ever again. Life's too short.

Moral of the story? As stated above, an ex is an ex for a good and valid reason.

 

[1969mari]

i made it a week, and i can blame the alchohol so i dont have to feel bad, however i did phone her. she was very happy to hear from me. we are going out for ice cream on thursday. I am gonna be so pissed tommoroow lol.

Move on Phill you will be hurted with a woman like her.

 

[wanthis]

After reading that, can you honestly say you were "happy, or was it something else? Like simply being content knowing you had someone in your life? And is that sort of contentment really happiness?

I was happy man. I really was. I adored this girl more than anything. She was my first everything, except sex. Well I'm still a virgin. Basically what happened was we didn't get to see each other a lot. It was almost like a long distance relationship. I would see her once a week at times..and then I might not see her for a month. It's just the cultural back ground we came from; her dad was hesitant of letting us hang out in public. So she eventually got bored and broke it off in november after about 3 years. I was completely blindsided. That's the story in short. It sucked man. I was really miserable after that for months. Only recently have I learned to let it not affect my daily life. It was just that the ending was so inconclusive.

Really hope I don't have to deal with a heartbreak like that ever again. It sucks the life out of you.

 

[phil88]

well i am hungover so this wont be pleasant. Mrbigdick, your supposed to be alone lol. beleive me your better off with yourself, I am sure you could find a nice mirror and you and yourself would be very very happy together.


wentworth a statement such as this

Even though I have someone now who is better looking, and a really fun individual

really makes me doubt your values.


Mari, thank you, i think your the first woman to give her opinion who has not sided with her or wanted me to fight for love or simply wanted to have sex with me, basically its the first honest womens opinion i believe i have been given.


I dont want to fight for control, as long as i am busy trying to make sure a woman cant run my life how am i supposed to let anyone in? Its not about me proving what i am, I know what I am, its about finding someone to be with in spite of what i am lol.

 

[phil88]

I was happy man. I really was. I adored this girl more than anything. She was my first everything, except sex. Well I'm still a virgin. Basically what happened was we didn't get to see each other a lot. It was almost like a long distance relationship. I would see her once a week at times..and then I might not see her for a month. It's just the cultural back ground we came from; her dad was hesitant of letting us hang out in public. So she eventually got bored and broke it off in november after about 3 years. I was completely blindsided. That's the story in short. It sucked man. I was really miserable after that for months. Only recently have I learned to let it not affect my daily life. It was just that the ending was so inconclusive.

Really hope I don't have to deal with a heartbreak like that ever again. It sucks the life out of you.

funny thing is i lost my virginity to this girl to. But i was determined to prove that the feelings were just because she took my virginity and not real. So cue the other girls, not only did this girl give me the ability to basically have sex on demand but she took away the urge to have sex with anyone but her. Which is really surprising. And befopre anyone says anything, she told me she had met another guy before i started sleeping around. We started out as FWB and she thought making up a dude would make me jealous and commit. Well i got jealous lol.

its really complicated. but only because we were both fighting for control. oh and pride cant forget pride.