weird story of how i met a girl..and am now in love with. and some questions

[mistydawn]

I agree with Titty.

Try to bring up webcam again. This has been mentioned over and over. There is a reason you haven't put much into the idea. maybe you know her reaction or subconsciously you know she is scamming you.

 

[Learntolift]

i booked a flight out there for the championship game. even though shes gonna be back home by then, southwest allows you to cancel at any time at no penalty, and you get credit for the future, and i fly southwest all the time so its like a full refund. so theres no reason not to book cause i can cancel at any time, and i get to book now safely and get a cheaper flight.

i mentioned it to her last night and i think shes for it, i fly through pittsburgh and she lives outside there, so maybe shed be down to meet up there, drive to penn state together, go to the game, etc etc. who knows, but by booking this, i keep my options open you know? i havent told her i did this yet im gonna try to play it cool

 

[MrBigDick]

i booked a flight out there for the championship game. even though shes gonna be back home by then, southwest allows you to cancel at any time at no penalty, and you get credit for the future, and i fly southwest all the time so its like a full refund. so theres no reason not to book cause i can cancel at any time, and i get to book now safely and get a cheaper flight.

i mentioned it to her last night and i think shes for it, i fly through pittsburgh and she lives outside there, so maybe shed be down to meet up there, drive to penn state together, go to the game, etc etc. who knows, but by booking this, i keep my options open you know? i havent told her i did this yet im gonna try to play it cool

Hey man, whatever you want to do. You've been given enough advice to make an informed, rational decision. Either she goes for it or she doesn't and you can decide from there whether to pursue this further or quit.

 

[Learntolift]

i told her to tell her students i said hi, shes a teacher major so she goes to an elementary school and helps teach as part of her thing. and she told me she did and i said whatd you say, and i guess she referred to me as her friend. idk why but this bothered me and the whole day i just kept acting sarcastic back to her like 'hey friend' 'whats up bud?' and it was pissing her off and it got us into a fight, and she got a major attitude. i showed her the flight i booked to try and make her happy and all she said was "cool" and i was like thats all you have to say? and she says yeah youre being fucking ridiculous today, thats all i have to say.

it was fighting back and forth and shes like ok thats it, bye. as in bye we are done. then she goes back on it. i do this to her a good amount so its not like that came out of nowhere. but now im pissed, and so i gave her an ultimatum long story short. i said either we pursue this for all its worth, or we are done. you decide right now. and she said done. and all i said was wow i cant believe you strung me along for this long. good fucking bye. and she said bye.

then like 10 minutes later she texted me "Matt" to which i never replied. WHAT THE FUCK

 

[Pinoy]

Holy moly leave her dude because any chick that can write you off in an instant isnt even giving consideration, shes bein irrational. I doubt a girl in love is capable of something like that

 

[Learntolift]

see thats the first time shes done that to me, and ive done it many times to her so i can see how she overreacted cause ive personally done it a lot, its just an immature tactic

she acts very irrationally when she gets upset, as you can see. when she texted me "matt" i know she was looking to apologize, etc etc...honestly if we talk tomorrow im just gonna say you know what, if were gonna continue this, we are doing it my way now. i tried your way it sucks, its my way now. so first you can go and add me on facebook, and we will start with that.

 

[Pinoy]

HAHAHAHAHA nevermind i think you've got this XD ya dude facebook? have you asked her why its such a big deal in the first place?

 

[Learntolift]

i cant tell if you are being sarcastic or not

she says facebook means nothing, its stupid, once she actually tried to say "have you ever considered that maybe ur SO important to me, that ur beyond adding on facebook?" rofl

 

[Pinoy]

I mean it sounds like you know exactly what to do! haha

heh and no one thinks facebook is stupid because its almost becoming a necesity but thats hilarious XD

 

[Learntolift]

yeah man, well shes screenshotted she has over like 100 friend requests, she never accepts anyone and has the facebook chat turned off. but idk regardless, if its not a big deal like she says, then why not just add me? you know? but w/e 1 day from now it should be solved 1 way or the other

 

[Pinoy]

yeah i dont see the big deal either
but good luck on this one you deserve it since you put so much into it

 

[captainsaveaho]

Wow man, I honestly don't even know where to start...

I have a few questions, not sure if any of this was covered in the first post cause its been deleted.

How did you meet?
How long have you been talking regularly?
Have you had any serious relationships besides her?
And most importantly, what the fuck is up with all the secrecy?!? Dude, you've been talking to her for 2 years and she says she loves you but she won't even accept your friend request on facebook?? Obviously there's something on there she doesn't want you to see, otherwise why would she care? And what reason could she possibly have for not wanting to video chat with you? I mean I get that she has trust issues, but don't you think talking face to face would be a good way to build trust?

Man, I hate to say it but in all honesty it looks to me like she's not who she says she is. I don't see any other reason for her want to hide her facebook, not want to video chat, and come up with lame excuses every time you try to arrange a visit. You say she doesn't want to see you until she's 100% sure it's not going to fail? Yeah well that's absolutely impossible, and seems to me like an indirect way of telling you that it's not going to happen. Obviously you two care about each other, no one is doubting that. The problem I (and just about everyone else) have is that she seems to have made it pretty clear that this will never turn into a real life relationship, and that's what you seem to want out of it. You also keep saying how you KNOW you can trust her and you KNOW she's being honest about everything but come on man, just think about it...do you really KNOW you can trust her, or do you just really WANT to trust her? Because in reality you can't just trust anyone and everyone, because NEWS FLASH: MOST PEOPLE AREN'T HONEST. Especially on the internet. The facebook thing and the video chat thing seem to be dead giveaways that she's not being truthful with you. I'm assuming she's sent you pictures of herself, are you sure they weren't of a friend or just some random girl? Because that probably happens more than you think.

This whole thing is eerily similar to a story I saw on TV recently...Sex-Charged Cyber Chatroom with Posed Marine Turns to Deadly Affair - ABC News .....crazy sh*t!

In my opinion man this thing has progressed to a point that's not healthy for you or her. She's playing games with you and it's going to slowly break you down until you can't take it anymore. You seem like a good guy, and everyone's here giving you great advice because nobody wants to see you get hurt more than you already have.

Bottom line is if she wanted this to go anywhere and was truly serious, she would be more than willing to visit with you in person....and she isn't.



Sorry if that was jumbled but I had way too much going through my head to make a concise post. It was seriously sickening reading some of that cause I can't help but put myself in your shoes...

 

[mistydawn]

This whole thing is eerily similar to a story I saw on TV recently...Sex-Charged Cyber Chatroom with Posed Marine Turns to Deadly Affair - ABC News .....crazy sh*t!.

LOL...this came to mind for me too but I didn't know the names of the people involved to look it up. I saw this story done by someone else and I learned even more about it. Crazy people are out there.

I feel sick when I see women acting so badly. Females making us look bad. Just drives me nuts!

 

[Livin Life]

JLearntolift, just read your post and put a smile on my face, finally coming around and waking up, good for you I am very happy for you.
This girl is way out there and insane, and just plain messing with your head playing some sick mental game.
Tell her the sick game is over ! I doubt but she may want to meet up with you to get you back to being weak and gullible to continue this charade.
I would choose not to meet with her and say I am sorry I met someone else and not interested anymore, just because nothing will come of it and she messed with me for soo long and say good bye and change my phone # GAME OVER !!!
Remember you are man stand up for yourself out of self respect and dignity and stay strong.
Good luck.

 

[Learntolift]

i guess i gave her an ultimatum last night, i said you can add me on facebook, or this is over right now. guess which she chose...? yeah i have no new fb friends

then she keeps messaging me "talk to me" and trying to have a conversation..like does this chick not understand how serious i am? wtf. i remember i was like well i hope not adding me is worth it, and she said 'i already know it isnt worth it' yet she still wouldnt just add me LOL. dear jesus, and she tried to say dont take it personal, she wont even add her mom.

 

[Learntolift]

Wow man, I honestly don't even know where to start...

I have a few questions, not sure if any of this was covered in the first post cause its been deleted.

How did you meet?
How long have you been talking regularly?
Have you had any serious relationships besides her?
And most importantly, what the fuck is up with all the secrecy?!? Dude, you've been talking to her for 2 years and she says she loves you but she won't even accept your friend request on facebook?? Obviously there's something on there she doesn't want you to see, otherwise why would she care? And what reason could she possibly have for not wanting to video chat with you? I mean I get that she has trust issues, but don't you think talking face to face would be a good way to build trust?

Man, I hate to say it but in all honesty it looks to me like she's not who she says she is. I don't see any other reason for her want to hide her facebook, not want to video chat, and come up with lame excuses every time you try to arrange a visit. You say she doesn't want to see you until she's 100% sure it's not going to fail? Yeah well that's absolutely impossible, and seems to me like an indirect way of telling you that it's not going to happen. Obviously you two care about each other, no one is doubting that. The problem I (and just about everyone else) have is that she seems to have made it pretty clear that this will never turn into a real life relationship, and that's what you seem to want out of it. You also keep saying how you KNOW you can trust her and you KNOW she's being honest about everything but come on man, just think about it...do you really KNOW you can trust her, or do you just really WANT to trust her? Because in reality you can't just trust anyone and everyone, because NEWS FLASH: MOST PEOPLE AREN'T HONEST. Especially on the internet. The facebook thing and the video chat thing seem to be dead giveaways that she's not being truthful with you. I'm assuming she's sent you pictures of herself, are you sure they weren't of a friend or just some random girl? Because that probably happens more than you think.

This whole thing is eerily similar to a story I saw on TV recently...Sex-Charged Cyber Chatroom with Posed Marine Turns to Deadly Affair - ABC News .....crazy sh*t!

In my opinion man this thing has progressed to a point that's not healthy for you or her. She's playing games with you and it's going to slowly break you down until you can't take it anymore. You seem like a good guy, and everyone's here giving you great advice because nobody wants to see you get hurt more than you already have.

Bottom line is if she wanted this to go anywhere and was truly serious, she would be more than willing to visit with you in person....and she isn't.



Sorry if that was jumbled but I had way too much going through my head to make a concise post. It was seriously sickening reading some of that cause I can't help but put myself in your shoes...

sorry i deleted it let me repost it, the first post that is

 

[Wentworth]

She wont even add you on fb after 2 years? Ive got people on fb I havent even met in person lolz, shes out of her mind and playing a fucked up game with you, she definitely doesnt love you, that isnt what love is or you have a really fucked up view of love. You need to meet someone new that you can experience things with and truly know what its like to be in love with someone.

 

[captainsaveaho]

Have you been involved in any serious relationships before this one?

 

[Learntolift]

not serious like this, as far as emotions go, nope

 

[captainsaveaho]

As was said in an earlier post, it seems like you are more in love with the idea of her than with her as a person. You want someone to love that also loves you, which is totally normal, but you seem to be trying to convince yourself that she's right for you when she obviously isn't. If you think about it, are all the justifications you have used for her actions to convince us that she's right for you or to convince yourself?

This whole thing seems to have gotten out of control, and you are so emotionally invested in her that you are bound to get hurt. Try stepping back and taking a look at the relationship from an outside perspective, it might change your opinion of her.