Toys and Porn

[akaTrex]

Many forget the LARGEST SEX ORGAN in the BODY is the BRAIN!

 

[INS]

I remember a woman saying she couldn't even orgasm with her industrial powered Hitachi. You know what worked? Warming lube with her partner and his fingers. Weird, huh?

And some women tend to get more sensitive from using vibrators. Sort of like how guys can develop PE from masturbation with pornography.

And, I wouldn't call vibrators the sure fire, fool proof way to orgasm. An electrode in the spinal cord on the other hand, would probably be more suitable of the title.

Some women simply don't get desensitized.

 

[FinallyBig]

Hey FinallyBig,

The writer of the article may have confirmed your beliefs but the far more extensive list of respondents confirmed what I have been saying all along.

So I suppose you and I will simply have to agree to disagree.

I do have a question for you though...

I have been using a clitoral vibrator for years. I also have no problem achieving orgasm orally, manually (my hand or his) or vaginally. I also know firsthand of a great many women who are the same as me. So how do you explain us?

Well that's a good thing then. I am addressing the women who have a lot of trouble orgasming from any other method than a vibrator, and some never from sex or oral, or even their own hand!

I'm not threatened by a woman who owns a vibrator who can orgasm without it like you can, I dated a girl with one who did orgasm during sex, usually when she was on top was the easiest way. It's when they can't and buy a vibrator, I think it makes it even harder for them to cum with a man. Or some women, who already rarely orgasmed with a man, buy a vibe and now they never do. The ones who already have trouble orgasming get even worse. The ones who don't are going to orgasm anyways toys or not.

Your comment about women orgasming with a vibrator when even their own hand fails because it the stimulation "keeps them in the present moment" is really just because the vibrator is so powerful that it makes her cum, it doesn't put her in the mood or anything. She can be just as much in the present moment rubbing anything else on her clit or inside her vagina. If she can focus more it's only because it's overpowering her with its stimulation so she can't think of anything else (which is a replacement then since she will need the vibe to do that). Women can orgasm in 5 seconds with a Hitachi Wand. It's pure horsepower. Even if she had a crappy day at work, is exhausted, and wants to sleep, it will still give her an easy O whether she wants it or not, within seconds she'll be cumming. I have never heard of a woman who couldn't orgasm with one. It's not a mental thing it does, keeping her in the moment, teaching her her body and getting in touch, etc... it's just a powerful vibration, she can just put it there and not even move it and it will work.

Women like the author of that article are surprisingly common. I've met or heard of guys with gf's like that in my own life many times. I think it's good for using if they are single, but if they have a bf, it might be preventing them from learning to orgasm with him, and also temporarily numbing her if she uses it regularly.

I actually just checked the comments and found at least a dozen women agreeing with the author. Here's one:

Isis • 2 years agoThat has happened to me. Since using my rabbit so much when a guy goes down on me I no longer have an orgasm. Never had one during sex. It kinda sucks but I'm not willing to get rid of my rabbit. lmaoo

This girl admits she "no longer" orgasms when a guy goes down on her. Meaning she used to but not anymore. That's a shame cause I think it is such a turn on for a girl to have a real orgasm when I am going down on her.

Another girl from the comments:

vibrators are addictive and can ruin sex with a partner. I got one for the 1st time 4 years ago b/c I was curious. I then started dating a guy and the sex just wasn't the same. I could never orgasm.....I was still new to dating and sex so I actually told him about my vibrator. He is actually the one that told me it deadens the nerve endings and makes it harder to orgasm with a partner. I wasn't even putting two and two together.."

She also said it desensitized her, she says, "the sex just wasn't the same", as in not the same as when she was having sex before she used one. Then she could never orgasm with her latest bf and had no idea why until he told her it might be the vibe.

You and other women who don't have this problem, my advice is not for you. You are the lucky ones cause many women seem to be effected like the author and other women commenting. Just like how you are an example of how they are good thing to add spice to the bedroom, there are also women who are examples of them being a bad thing and making them enjoy oral and penetration from a man less than they used to. It depends on the person. I can't say I am all for or all against them. It's on a case by case basis. I'd recommend it to a girl who wasn't cumming any other way cause not having orgasms must suck. But if she used to orgasm but doesn't anymore or it takes way longer now, I really can't support them then, cause then it's like it's replacing the other ways.

 

[FinallyBig]

I remember a woman saying she couldn't even orgasm with her industrial powered Hitachi. You know what worked? Warming lube with her partner and his fingers. Weird, huh?

And some women tend to get more sensitive from using vibrators. Sort of like how guys can develop PE from masturbation with pornography.

And, I wouldn't call vibrators the sure fire, fool proof way to orgasm. An electrode in the spinal cord on the other hand, would probably be more suitable of the title.

Some women simply don't get desensitized.

I agree, they don't all get desensitized. Probably most don't, some do though. I have also heard of women saying their vibe makes them more sensitive. It really depends on the person. Like for me, porn definitely makes me less sensitize with a girl. I just can't get as aroused by a normal girl when I'm used to looking at girls with way bigger boobs and better bodies than your typical girl. But sure I can believe that some guys might have the opposite thing happen from porn. It's hard to believe but the brain is a complex organ.

Yeah that story is really weird. I always thought the Hitachi was like the perfect orgasm machine. I heard of girls saying they start to cum as soon as it touches them. I thought that is why it's called the "magic wand", cause it works like magic.

 

[Walshy]

I think it boils down to this to much of anything is not good for you. if a girl uses a vibrator everyday for hours on end i guess that its more likely that her vagina might become de-sensitised or because she is only used to orgasming from the vibrator. but once a week or a few times a month what can it hurt. i think this goes for everything i used to have sex 2-3 times a day and eventually i couldn't get hard or stay as hard as i could before so me and my girl had to slow down and make it that special thing me and her both waited for. Hope this helps:becky:

 

[burtybasset]

Thanks for the response walshy!

 

[FinallyBig]

Many forget the LARGEST SEX ORGAN in the BODY is the BRAIN!

If that was true women wouldn't need vibrators. They could just relax, create a lucid erotic fantasy in their mind, and orgasm from that alone without even having to touch themselves at all. Women go on about how "orgasms are all mental", and then they use all these machines to orgasm, and it makes them cum in a few seconds. That's not their mind that's the machine firing the nerves at high speed and it's just an automatic reaction for her to cum. If a wand can make a girl cum in 5 seconds, that's just an automatic response like touching a hot stove and pulling back in pain.

Using the mind to make a girl orgasm is useful for men though. We need to set the mood, warm them up, say all the right things in their ear, go down on her first, etc... And if she isn't in the mood she won't cum. But the vibe will work for 99% of women. So mental is only part of it. If our dicks were all huge and vibrated foreplay, dirty talk, and oral would all be unnecessary. We could just put our dick on or in them, not even move or say anything, and just watch her writhe around in ecstasy. You could be boring and have no technique, but if you had a big vibrating dick you'd always get her to finish.

 

[MrB8]

The mind has to allow for it to happen in the first place, it is what gives it meaning and pleasure.

Don't mix physiological and psychological responses, a toy may amplify stimulation for a lady, if she is in the right mood, and she won't use a toy when she's not.

Not all orgasms are equal (https://www.pegym.com/forums/gym/63165-what-does-ejaculation-orgasm-feel-like-man.html?highlight=), that is for males and females too, your brain plays the biggest role in this, a toy only induced orgasm is quite shallow in my opinion. Same applies to physical stimulation, if it is the sole source of an orgasm, it doesn't feel as intense, if at all, compared to one where your brain and other senses are involved.

But seriously guys, if a lady will like her toy more than she likes her partner, why would she be invested in a relationship in the first place, humans (females and males) need a lot more than toys, if masturbation is a real substitute, it would have been over a long long time ago.

 

[akaTrex]

If that was true women wouldn't need vibrators. They could just relax, create a lucid erotic fantasy in their mind, and orgasm from that alone without even having to touch themselves at all. Women go on about how "orgasms are all mental", and then they use all these machines to orgasm, and it makes them cum in a few seconds. That's not their mind that's the machine firing the nerves at high speed and it's just an automatic reaction for her to cum. If a wand can make a girl cum in 5 seconds, that's just an automatic response like touching a hot stove and pulling back in pain.

Using the mind to make a girl orgasm is useful for men though. We need to set the mood, warm them up, say all the right things in their ear, go down on her first, etc... And if she isn't in the mood she won't cum. But the vibe will work for 99% of women. So mental is only part of it. If our dicks were all huge and vibrated foreplay, dirty talk, and oral would all be unnecessary. We could just put our dick on or in them, not even move or say anything, and just watch her writhe around in ecstasy. You could be boring and have no technique, but if you had a big vibrating dick you'd always get her to finish.

You answered your own questions/statement: "lucid erotic fantasy in their mind". Without the "lucid erotic fantasy in their mind it ain't happening.

Is that why All Jack Hammer operators ejaculate in their Pants while on the job?

Sounds like your uncomfortable with the Competition! :scared:

I suggest your practice your Tremolo Clitoris Picking Technique!

 

[burtybasset]

I happen to agree with the mind being the biggest sensory/sex organ, stimulating the physical body is only part of the equation I believe.

It may well be possible to achieve orgasm without physical stimulation, through tantric practices or breathing exercises and since guys can have wet dreams. It has been many years for me, but I don't remember any physical stimulation while asleep.

Also many women report to have had orgasms without any physical stimulation also.

The mind is a pretty powerful thing after-all, it makes our bodies move everyday without any verbal command, by the imperceptible force called will.

 

[FinallyBig]

You answered your own questions/statement: "lucid erotic fantasy in their mind". Without the "lucid erotic fantasy in their mind it ain't happening.

Is that why All Jack Hammer operators ejaculate in their Pants while on the job?

Sounds like your uncomfortable with the Competition! :scared:

I suggest your practice your Tremolo Clitoris Picking Technique!

Women don't need to fantasize or even be in the mood to orgasm with a vibe. It works within seconds of contact either on their clit or inside their pussy.

It doesn't even matter if the woman is in the mood or not. I've read tons of comments online from women saying stuff like, "Even when I'm not in the mood and just want to sleep, my vibe will give me a couple easy O's before bed." You could have a woman try to mentally resist having an orgasm, and I'll bet you 99% of women would still cum with a rabbit. They would be unable to override it with their mind. If a woman said no or something, and a guy got rough and used a vibe on her, she'd still cum.

Where is the time to fantasize? One woman was complaining to me that she got off TOO fast with her vibe. She said, "I was just getting started and suddenly I was cumming. I like to work up to my orgasms." They could just be like, "Meh I'm not horny but I'll give this a try." Then 30 seconds later they're finished.

I personally wouldn't want to be that fast at giving girl's an orgasm, because I too prefer to work up to it for a few minutes. But I'm not going to pretend it's a mental thing when obviously the physical sensations can make the difference between a woman finishing in a few seconds, or not at all even after 2 hours of sex. Women say it's all mental, but then say it's all about stimulating the clitoris which is a physical thing, but then they can orgasm with the vibrator inside them as well and not just on their clit, but not with a penis, so it isn't about the clitoris either. It's about stimulating the nerves enough.

A woman has plenty of nerves inside her vagina too to have an orgasm, but they need to be stimulated in a very strong way. A penis is not enough for that unless you have massive girth or the girl is really tight. Fingers can work because you can apply strong pressure on her G-spot and yank up hard and rub really fast directly where most of her nerves are. That's why some girls I was with didn't cum from penetration, but with my fingers inside them they could orgasm and even squirt! And of course a vibe inside will do the job too. We know this is true or why else would we want to increase our girth? We know more girth means more stimulation on the girl's walls including her G-spot. Meaning a greater chance of making her cum during sex. Vibes don't need to have huge girth to stimulate because they vibrate. So if it's so much mental, why are we tugging and squeezing our dicks to make them bigger which is a physical thing? We must all instinctively know being bigger will make sex more enjoyable for women. Why do vibrators even need to vibrate if it's all in the woman's mind? We know even if the woman is mentally there, if her vibe isn't turned on it won't work. If it runs out of batteries why is she sad? She can just use her imagination and get the job done right?

I guess I'm trying to say that having the woman mentally there is important. But if you have a big dick, or a vibrator, it doesn't matter as much. The smaller guys are the ones who are told by sexuality writers that they can compensate for being small by, "getting really good at eating pussy", "work the angles", "do lots of foreplay", "try buying a penis extender to wear during sex, or warming lube, or a vibrating cock ring." They suggest positions too that will make you feel bigger than you really are, etc... yeah physical is really important. Women can orgasm even if they don't want to if the stimulation is high enough. It's like trying to resist sneezing at that point. Once you reach that point of no return, that sneeze is coming out.

 

[FinallyBig]

The mind has to allow for it to happen in the first place, it is what gives it meaning and pleasure.

Don't mix physiological and psychological responses, a toy may amplify stimulation for a lady, if she is in the right mood, and she won't use a toy when she's not.

Not all orgasms are equal (https://www.pegym.com/forums/gym/63165-what-does-ejaculation-orgasm-feel-like-man.html?highlight=), that is for males and females too, your brain plays the biggest role in this, a toy only induced orgasm is quite shallow in my opinion. Same applies to physical stimulation, if it is the sole source of an orgasm, it doesn't feel as intense, if at all, compared to one where your brain and other senses are involved.

But seriously guys, if a lady will like her toy more than she likes her partner, why would she be invested in a relationship in the first place, humans (females and males) need a lot more than toys, if masturbation is a real substitute, it would have been over a long long time ago.

Yes! Thank you for mentioning that it is possible to orgasm from purely physical sensation. I can do that, masturbate without even thinking about anything. But, the orgasm is not as intense, it's more of a hiccup of pleasure compared to one I build up to with wild fantasizing at night in bed.

I think that masturbation is the easier way for both sexes to orgasm. I can orgasm faster and more times with myself than with a girl. Like with a girl I think the most I can cum is 4 times in a row, but with myself alone I can give myself 7 - 8 orgasms in the same amount of time. Cause I know exactly how to move my hand to get myself up and cumming again and again. But I prefer to be with a girl most of the time because it is more exciting and satisfying. While I can't give a woman 10 orgasms in 30 minutes like she can with her vibe, I will be happy to give her 1 or 2 in an hour. If she doesn't at all with me I admit I feel like I failed her.

Toys kind of amplify stimulation for me, like pumps are amazing for orgasming with. But for me, what really made me multi-orgasmic like a woman was a certain drug. I've had 1 minute long orgasms and over 10 in a night on one substance. I almost fainted sometimes the orgasms were so powerful. Because I think it tweaked my neurotransmitters or something so when I came it was like a normal orgasm x5 for a whole minute. But then I felt like garbage for like 2 weeks after that. I think you guys can guess which one I'm talking about. But I don't want to say it cause this is not that kind of forum.

 

[akaTrex]

You've read tons of comments online from Men saying stuff like, "Even when I'm not in the mood and just want to sleep, my Vibe will give me a couple easy O's before bed." You could have a man try to mentally resist having an orgasm, and I'll bet you 99% of men would still cum with their Vibe. They would be unable to override it with their mind. If a man said no or something, and a man got rough and used his Vibe on his member, he'd still cum! :becky:

In my 40 plus years of enjoying the fruits of a Lady I have never experienced your view on Ladies, Vibrators and Sex.

Keep cruising the Web for Answers to Women. With your attitude and without first hand experience you'll be missing out on some amazing sex.

 

[FinallyBig]

You've read tons of comments online from Men saying stuff like, "Even when I'm not in the mood and just want to sleep, my hand will give me a couple easy O's before bed." You could have a man try to mentally resist having an orgasm, and I'll bet you 99% of men would still cum with their hand. They would be unable to override it with their mind. If a man said no or something, and a man got rough and used his hand on his member, he'd still cum! :becky:

In my 40 plus years of enjoying the fruits of a Lady I have never experienced your view on Ladies, Vibrators and Sex.

Keep cruising the Web for Answers to Women. With your attitude and without first hand experience you'll be missing out on some amazing sex.

Well obviously many men can orgasm when they don't to. I know so many guys who wish they could last longer in bed but even when they try not to cum they still way before they want to. Like even fighting against it they still blow their load too soon.

A vibrator and a hand are not the same thing. With a vibe on my dick I can cum in 20 seconds flat. If I was being raped by a man or woman and they used a vibe on my dick I would still cum even if I was upset and didn't want to have sex.

I've had tons of sex, and my experience isn't just from comments online, it's also from talking to real girls face-to-face. Last girl I talked to about this has said it takes her a lot longer to get off with her hand since using a vibe. And her orgasms aren't as intense anymore unless she uses a vibe. We didn't end up having sex because she is a virgin and wants her first time to be with a guy who is also a virgin. When I told her many partners I've had she said I turned her off. She was upset that her last bf had 3 partners before meeting her and didn't have sex with him either for that reason, she wants a virgin. Interesting girl though, we still talk and she will talk about sex with me sometimes. She even showed me her vibe that her ex-bf bought her (but she didn't have sex with him hahaha).

 

[akaTrex]

It's obvious that you have an issue with women pleasuring themselves with whatever they decide to use. Hand, Vibe, Pillow, Shower Head, Hot Tub Jet or Rolling Pin.

Oh I'm sorry I've ask my ladies on many occasions to partake in such Fun!

Better than Any NFL Game including the Super Bowl!

 

[FinallyBig]

It's obvious that you have an issue with women pleasuring themselves with whatever they decide to use. Hand, Vibe, Pillow, Shower Head, Hot Tub Jet or Rolling Pin.

Oh I'm sorry I've ask my ladies on many occasions to partake in such Fun!

Better than Any NFL Game including the Super Bowl!

I only have an issue with it if it is preventing her from orgasming from manual methods, thereby making sex less enjoyable. Unless you don't care if your woman can't orgasm from your dick or tongue, and needs a vibe. Hey if that doesn't bother you more power to you. But most guys here are doing PE because we want longer thicker cocks and hopefully women will enjoy sex more when we reach our goals. It's an awesome feeling when a woman orgasms with me. If she uses a vibe too fine, but if she needs it to get off and my dick isn't good enough that's a letdown and a turn off for me. I wouldn't be able to date a girl who couldn't orgasm from sex or oral with me. It would make sex so damn boring, I get off on making a woman get off.

Guys here get all excited when they make gains in PE, they hope their gf or future gf will appreciate it. Maybe she will finally orgasm with them if they keep getting bigger. Each time they get bigger, they are more confident they will be able to satisfy a woman they are with.

 

[kickinthemebs]

It is interesting to contrast the problems caused by porn to guys and toys to girls - the sexual dysfunction mentioned, distancing from partners, lack of physical contact with partner, opting for substitutes (toys or porn), and so forth.

I believe both porn and toys can be used in a healthy relationship, but can also be abused and cause a lot of problems in relationships. The abundance of threads/posts etc on this forum about the ill-effects of porn, it sounds like a similar thing is happening over on women's forums about excess toy use. Interesting discussion guys and girls.

 

[akaTrex]

I only have an issue with it if it is preventing her from orgasming from manual methods, thereby making sex less enjoyable. Unless you don't care if your woman can't orgasm from your dick or tongue, and needs a vibe. Hey if that doesn't bother you more power to you. But most guys here are doing PE because we want longer thicker cocks and hopefully women will enjoy sex more when we reach our goals. It's an awesome feeling when a woman orgasms with me. If she uses a vibe too fine, but if she needs it to get off and my dick isn't good enough that's a letdown and a turn off for me. I wouldn't be able to date a girl who couldn't orgasm from sex or oral with me. It would make sex so damn boring, I get off on making a woman get off.


Guys here get all excited when they make gains in PE, they hope their gf or future gf will appreciate it. Maybe she will finally orgasm with them if they keep getting bigger. Each time they get bigger, they are more confident they will be able to satisfy a woman they are with.

The Most Important Sexual Statistic


Only 25 percent of women are consistently orgasmic during vaginal intercourse.


This bears repeating: Only one-quarter of women reliably experience orgasm during intercourse-no matter how long it lasts, no matter what size the man's penis, and no matter how the woman feels about the man or the relationship.

This statistic comes not from just one study, but from a comprehensive analysis of 33 studies over the past 80 years by Elisabeth Lloyd in her fascinating book The Case of the Female Orgasm (Harvard University Press).

Rounding things out: About half of women sometimes have orgasms during intercourse. About 20 percent seldom or ever have orgasms during intercourse. And about 5 percent never have orgasms, period.

But the key to most women's erotic pleasure comes not from the penis and intercourse, but from direct clitoral stimulation, using the fingers, palm, tongue, or sex toys.

The Most Important Sexual Statistic | Psychology Today

 

[INS]

I agree with FinallyBig on the aspect to reduce the frequency of using vibrators if it starts to affect sensitivity, since I do not want my skills in oral/manual/etc to not be made obsolete. Otherwise, they're all fine and dandy.

Although, I don't mind using dildos of any size. Heck, I'd strap one on, no problem. But, that's just me.


Also, I'm not sure how much the 25% not orgasming from intercourse statistic is valid. I guess it would be true if no clitoral stimulation is involved, but if a penis is girth enough, should it not indirectly stimulate the clitoris as well?

I guess I'm trying to say that having the woman mentally there is important. But if you have a big dick, or a vibrator, it doesn't matter as much. The smaller guys are the ones who are told by sexuality writers that they can compensate for being small by, "getting really good at eating pussy", "work the angles", "do lots of foreplay", "try buying a penis extender to wear during sex, or warming lube, or a vibrating cock ring." They suggest positions too that will make you feel bigger than you really are, etc... yeah physical is really important. Women can orgasm even if they don't want to if the stimulation is high enough. It's like trying to resist sneezing at that point. Once you reach that point of no return, that sneeze is coming out.

Whaaa man....guys with big ones need to be good at foreplay as well. How else would you make it fit? Also, they need certain angles so it doesn't hurt in some positions.

 

[burtybasset]

I have created a monster Mrs Frankenstein, but don't worry, I have included a vibrating rubber willy to make you smile (Just kidding ladies and gents don't set me on fire just yet). This thread was never meant to attack any sex/masturbation aid/practice, it was meant maybe to blur the lines that divide us a little, I guess I wanted to see if the boys and the fairer sex were playing fair with regards to our fun time.

For me toys and porn are just a bit of fun, an aid, used in moderation may be healthy even. It appears both can have negatives for a couple and individual, I haven't experienced any of these negatives personally I don't think, so can't be sure.

It would seem that our partners masturbation habits can be a source of insecurity for both male and female alike, I believe we all have an equal right to express ourselves sexually, alone and with our partners!

The problem then I suppose is how we deal with these insecurities, we could carry on and attempt to force our partner to accept our behaviour, as it is our right after all. But this doesn't seem like the ideal way to strengthen a bond between a couple, especially when one is having doubts about themselves.

We could discuss our feelings taking into consideration our partners feelings about this and try and reach some middle ground. Or just give up practising with our aid of choice and save all our orgasms for our partner. Or maybe use no external stimulus when masturbating, just our imaginations and hands.

When Mrs Basset tried to tell me that watching porn is like cheating, I reminded her of the hundreds of raunchy novels that loiter our bookshelves and I star in none of these. When I suggested that I would give up watching my aid of choice if she would get rid of hers, she declined.

I did eventually request she get rid of much of her stash as she had way too many and our bookshelves could not cope any longer. She is now the proud owner of a popular E-reader I bought her to store them on instead.

Personally I am perfectly happy with her reading and fantasising about whomever or whatever she choose, in fact I think it healthy, we are still together after-all and when we have sex together it is just us. I have asked her if she would like any sex toys, but she showed little interest, do I think any of this cheating - Hell no.

The only thing here I really have to disagree with, is when it thought okay for one party to have their fun and this same/similar behaviour being unacceptable for the other, but this can work both ways.

I don't believe that repressing a partners feelings or practices is the way to sexual freedom. It is my hope that we all may be secure enough to enjoy ourselves and let our partners do the same, without any forcing of attitudes as force rarely works when trying to get people to accept our views.

Okay you can set me on fire now