Hey Finallybig,
I'd like to offer a bit of clarity...
I've actually read before that 80% of women can't orgasm from sex with a man and that's normal. I think that's ridiculous.
Incorrect. The numerous studies to which you are referring did not indicate that woman cannot achieve orgasm from sex with a man. The researchers concluded that women cannot achieve orgasm from vaginal penetration ALONE. In other words, most women first need some clitoral stimulation in order to reach climax – vaginally or otherwise.
No, the problem is most guys can't last long enough, and girls are often desensitized. We are made to orgasm from sex.
Incorrect. Extensive studies of female sexual anatomy and response have determined without a doubt that it is the clitoris, NOT the vagina that is the primary trigger for arousal and climax. And since most positions for intercourse do not provide adequate clitoral stimulation, penetrative sex may make it easy for men to achieve orgasm but it is not conducive for the majority of women. A great analogy would be attempting to bring a man to orgasm by rubbing his testicles only. It MAY happen but it is unlikely that without proper stimulation of the penis he will reach orgasm just as it is unlikely that without proper stimulation of her clitoris, most women will be able reach orgasm.
If the "experts" are to believed then 80% of women in the past couldn't have orgasms, until modern technology saved them by inventing all these modern sex toys in the 1900's.
Incorrect. One of the first known vibrators was actually invented in 1734. However, even well before that time, women have sought out other ways and means of achieving clitoral stimulation for the very same reasons they do today – they were unable to achieve orgasm via penetrative sex alone. Stop assuming that just because it wasn’t openly discussed in our history books that it wasn’t a long-term sexual issue.
Sex is about intimacy for women, and to a lesser degree for men.
Incorrect. Numerous studies and research have shown that men seek sexual intimacy as much as women do.
But even if a woman is not in the mood for sex, a powerful vibe can still make her cum in a couple minutes or even as little as 5 seconds! It can literally "give" her an orgasm even if she wasn't even in the mood earlier! That's why sexual therapists recommend them to women with sexual dysfunction.
The female sexual response is a complex blend of emotional and physical stimuli and although achieving orgasm is a natural response it must first be learned; usually through self-stimulation. However, if any negative messages, beliefs or experiences have created a block, then manual masturbation alone may not work. And let’s not forget that stimulating the clitoris is much more involved than stimulating a penis. The powerful sensation of a vibrator encourages the woman to remain in the present moment because it is a sensory-based experience. It will help her determine what part of her clitoral area responses best to stimulation in a timely manner. It can help her overcome any issues she may have about “touching herself” sexually since she is using a device. It can assist her in becoming less self-conscious about a man “being down there”. These are just some of the reasons why a sex therapist may suggest a clitoral vibrator.
And since our bodies don’t simply respond mechanically and our brain is our most potent sex organ, the woman “who was not in the mood” five minutes earlier, would have had to employ her mind as well as the vibrator to achieve orgasm; whether she was aware of it or not. Remember, when it comes to sex, your body and mind are in this together.
Now I’ll be honest Finallybig, it is not your lack of accurate information about female sexual anatomy and the female sexual response that I find most disconcerting about your posts but the rather archaic and fear-based logic beneath your fervent anti-sex toy stance.
For example:
Your suggestion for men to simply learn to last longer to guarantee a woman achieves a vaginal orgasm is not only false; it places undue pressure on him and sets him up to feel like a failure if he is unsuccessful. And without an accurate understanding of the role the clitoris plays in sexual satisfaction, he likely will.
You have indicated that women have it easier because men usually achieve orgasm quicker and often without the use of any aid. Seriously?! I guarantee that a great many women would love the ability to climax as effortlessly as most men can without the use of an aid.
Rather than perceiving a clitoral vibrator as it really is; an opportunity to add variety to sexual play or as an aid to help equalize the different levels of arousal in men and women, you are encouraging men to view it as a competition and a threat to their very manhood.
And according to you, should a woman not achieve orgasm from a man’s oral or manual ministrations or from vaginal penetration, well then she is surely the one to blame. Of course, this leaves her with only one of two options now doesn't it? Stop having sex altogether to avoid the self-consciousness or learn fake her orgasm.
It seems to me that the basis of your suggestions stems from your own fears and insecurities and history of your own excessive sex toy use. It is very unfair to paint everyone with the same brush. More to the point, the danger of what you are advocating sets both men and woman back sexually about 50 or more years...
