Toadstool's progress

[Toadstool]

Sunday, September 16

Warm up > 342 jelqs > warm down

Warm up > 186 jelqs > warm down

Warm up > 186 jelqs > warm down

My dinky has been blue lately. I wonder if that's because I'm going too hard on the jelqs. If I slap it about, then it becomes pink again

Tuesday, September 18

Warm up > 348 Jelqs > Testicle Massage > Warm down

Warm up > 189 Jelqs > 11 minutes start/stop > Warm down

Warm up > 189 Jelqs > Warm down

Sometimes I wonder why I got into game. When the opportunity for partying and nearly guaranteed sex comes along, I usually duck and dodge. I can't explain it. Am I afraid of something? I've gone into things like that before and I usually wake up sad, rather than proud. Maybe I don't think sex is all that it's cracked up to be.

I'll be honest - I have girls OFFERING themselves to me at the bar. Sometimes bluntly - "Can you take me home?" Sometimes not as much; I had this one cute short blond girl this weekend (an 8.5) stop dead in her tracks and say, "Oh my fucking god you are so hot. Hey guys (to her friends) Let's go in here I want this bouncer to hit on me."
My reaction? I felt grossed out. Other guys would probably wonder wtf is wrong with me. Sometimes I do too. Aren't guys supposed to jump on sex the minute it's offered? Aren't I supposed to be a dog, trained to pounce on the smallest opportunity?
That just doesn't describe me. I got into game because I thought my game was bad. Turns out - I'm sincerely disinterested in having wild sex with random girls. I'm the guy who wants a relationship ... granted, with 3 or 4 girls at a time, but I prefer it a little steadier. Or... do I? Maybe I just don't know what I want.

I think part of my problem is that I don't know how to build relationships. I'm not going to get into the sob story of my life, but I've spent most of it isolated from people, or torn away from the ones I loved. I was homeless at 14, in jail by 16. I was in and out of group homes and hospitals in between then and somewhere along the way, I decided I was the lone wolf.
I got out of jail at about 17 or 18 and tried the charismatic personable guy at school when I got out. It worked for a bit, but then something inside me crashed and I went loner again for another 3 years.
I'm trying to become someone I like. I don't like me right now. I mean, sure, I have a lot going for me. But there are a few things that are holding me back.

I think that's what all this game, girls, dating and crap is really about. It's about me becoming the person I want to be. It doesn't even have anything to do with getting girls. I guess... I want to be wanted. I can get that without the sex. That's why the topic of confidence and personality are harrowing on my mind, because those are the people who are truly wanted in life. That is, people with confidence and a brilliant personality.

I like me. I just need some tweaking. Sometimes, I don't think I'm as far off as I'm afraid I am.

You know, the things that really interest me are things like martial arts, knife throwing, bo staff training, wilderness survival. That gets my heart pounding much more than the opportunity at a 3some (Which I've now twice turned down). I want to volunteer with kids and the handicapped, learn how to become financially successful and then build communities in parts of the world that have no infrastructure. That is TONS more exciting than clubs, to me.
I want to build schools and wells, I want to invest in funds for environmental research, I want to support small farms.
I would be so much more proud of myself if I did any of this than if I banged that hot blond from the bar.
Fuck, and then some people have me questioning myself. Where the hell are your priorities?

 

[Toadstool]

Tuesday, September 18

Warm up > 348 Jelqs > Testicle Massage > Warm down

Warm up > 189 Jelqs > 11 minutes start/stop > Warm down

Warm up > 189 Jelqs > Warm down

Thursday, September 20

Warm up > 354 Jelqs > Warm down

Warm up > 192 Jelqs > Warm down

Warm up > 192 Jelqs > Warm down

 

[NCGUY1972]

I say bang the blonde then go do some charity! For all you know you may have really hit it off and lived your lives banging and doing charity together. You may have been just what she really wanted inside and she could have been your soul mate!

 

[Quest/2B/Epic]

Got to say I'm proud of you man! Your story is moving...and I don't even know you.

 

[someone_like_u]

+1 for you Toady. Great post and go after the you you want to become. Don't be afraid to be different You'll find your way.

Sometimes I wonder why I got into game. When the opportunity for partying and nearly guaranteed sex comes along, I usually duck and dodge. I can't explain it. Am I afraid of something? I've gone into things like that before and I usually wake up sad, rather than proud. Maybe I don't think sex is all that it's cracked up to be.

I'll be honest - I have girls OFFERING themselves to me at the bar. Sometimes bluntly - "Can you take me home?" Sometimes not as much; I had this one cute short blond girl this weekend (an 8.5) stop dead in her tracks and say, "Oh my fucking god you are so hot. Hey guys (to her friends) Let's go in here I want this bouncer to hit on me."
My reaction? I felt grossed out. Other guys would probably wonder wtf is wrong with me. Sometimes I do too. Aren't guys supposed to jump on sex the minute it's offered? Aren't I supposed to be a dog, trained to pounce on the smallest opportunity?
That just doesn't describe me. I got into game because I thought my game was bad. Turns out - I'm sincerely disinterested in having wild sex with random girls. I'm the guy who wants a relationship ... granted, with 3 or 4 girls at a time, but I prefer it a little steadier. Or... do I? Maybe I just don't know what I want.

I think part of my problem is that I don't know how to build relationships. I'm not going to get into the sob story of my life, but I've spent most of it isolated from people, or torn away from the ones I loved. I was homeless at 14, in jail by 16. I was in and out of group homes and hospitals in between then and somewhere along the way, I decided I was the lone wolf.
I got out of jail at about 17 or 18 and tried the charismatic personable guy at school when I got out. It worked for a bit, but then something inside me crashed and I went loner again for another 3 years.
I'm trying to become someone I like. I don't like me right now. I mean, sure, I have a lot going for me. But there are a few things that are holding me back.

I think that's what all this game, girls, dating and crap is really about. It's about me becoming the person I want to be. It doesn't even have anything to do with getting girls. I guess... I want to be wanted. I can get that without the sex. That's why the topic of confidence and personality are harrowing on my mind, because those are the people who are truly wanted in life. That is, people with confidence and a brilliant personality.

I like me. I just need some tweaking. Sometimes, I don't think I'm as far off as I'm afraid I am.

You know, the things that really interest me are things like martial arts, knife throwing, bo staff training, wilderness survival. That gets my heart pounding much more than the opportunity at a 3some (Which I've now twice turned down). I want to volunteer with kids and the handicapped, learn how to become financially successful and then build communities in parts of the world that have no infrastructure. That is TONS more exciting than clubs, to me.
I want to build schools and wells, I want to invest in funds for environmental research, I want to support small farms.
I would be so much more proud of myself if I did any of this than if I banged that hot blond from the bar.
Fuck, and then some people have me questioning myself. Where the hell are your priorities?

 

[JonPop]

You only need direction. Are you past the age to enlist in the military?
This would fulfill some of the searching that is going on inside of you, right now.
Go down to the Army recruiter and tell him you want to join the 82nd Airborne.
This will get some of the thirst for physical training and wilderness adventure into your resume'.

The Army, especially the Airborne part of it isn't easy. But the "Silver Wings" will be something you will carry proudly for the rest of your life and garner respect.
Then, go dig your wells, go be a peace corps volunteer, teach schools, make the world a better place for young children. But...You will always have those you served with, covering your back and those ties never die.
Good luck to you Toadstool, this might just be the path you are seeking. I for one, would be extremely proud of you. (jP

 

[angus]

You only need direction. Are you past the age to enlist in the military?
This would fulfill some of the searching that is going on inside of you, right now.
Go down to the Army recruiter and tell him you want to join the 82nd Airborne.
This will get some of the thirst for physical training and wilderness adventure into your resume'.

The Army, especially the Airborne part of it isn't easy. But the "Silver Wings" will be something you will carry proudly for the rest of your life and garner respect.
Then, go dig your wells, go be a peace corps volunteer, teach schools, make the world a better place for young children. But...You will always have those you served with, covering your back and those ties never die.
Good luck to you Toadstool, this might just be the path you are seeking. I for one, would be extremely proud of you. (jP

Make it happen. All of us will be proud.

 

[Toadstool]

I say bang the blonde then go do some charity! For all you know you may have really hit it off and lived your lives banging and doing charity together. You may have been just what she really wanted inside and she could have been your soul mate!

Well, this drunk girl didn't show me enough of what I want in a woman to get me turned on. I gotta say, a girl demanding sex from me is major turn off. It's like, where's your feminine quality? Where's your tact? I have standards, and while she had physical beauty, it seemed to me as though we were after two different things.

Thanks epicskip. I think JP is right. I need direction, I need to find my place in life. The people at the bars&clubs I work at look at me like I'm the weirdest person alive for turning down hot girls. But, obviously I'm not the only guy like me out there.

Is the military really where I need to be? Will they teach me how to survive in the wilderness with nothing but a sharp knife and my wits, without sending me off to get my ass blown away? The Airborne, eh... That sounds both exciting and terrifying at the same time.
I wonder what you american boys think of the Canadian soldiers.

 

[JonPop]

You don't have to be an American citizen to enlist.
Pin Silver Wings on my son's chest.
Make him one of Americas best.

(Sgt. Berry Sadler. "Ballad of the Green Beret".)

 

[TTBB]

+1 for you Toady. Great post and go after the you you want to become. Don't be afraid to be different You'll find your way.

x2
and i have said before sometimes knowing you could have is enough..you don't have to fuck every person who wants to or wants you. and turning down some of the hot girls gives you power on some level and i awe from people..more than if you were to fuck the chick.

 

[donjelqer76]

I have to say that I'm beyond impressed. Love for the world and others around you isn't something that is very common these days. Always remember - changing the world for even one person, is still changing the world. Don't let anybody hold you back from that!

 

[Toadstool]

Friday, September 21

Testicle Massage.


Thanks for the posts guys. It really made me feel better.
I took what JP said seriously and talked to some friends about this direction problem. I'm going to spend the next year working on my e-marketing business and pay off some debts, make some money and be responsible.
Then I'm going to join the RMC and see if I can get an education in rehabilitation, work for them for three years and maybe go back to school for nutritional science while I work part time as a personal trainer/rehab trainer. Maybe even go for alternate medicine.

God. Sometimes I see the world as a giant ball of endless opportunity and I feel overwhelmed. How can any person choose one thing they want to dedicate their life to? Sometimes I feel like I need to strategize my time to get the most experience out of life. I wish I could live forever.

I appreciate you guys reading and posting.
Love you all,
-A

 

[Toadstool]

Thursday, September 20

Warm up > 354 Jelqs > Warm down

Warm up > 192 Jelqs > Warm down

Warm up > 192 Jelqs > Warm down

Saturday, September 22

Warm up > 360 jelqs > 50 towel raises > Warm down

Warm up > 195 jelqs > Warm down

Warm up > 195 jelqs > Warm down

 

[Toadstool]

Starting tomorrow, I'm going back to the Jelq-free routine.


Sunday, September 23
Testicle Massage

 

[JonPop]

Oooo...K. Which one wore out first? Your dick or your hand?
Inquiring minds want to know. :wank:

 

[Toadstool]

Monday, September 24

Warm up > 25 Squeezes > 300 side-sides > Warm down

hehe, JP, I ran out of time. I have a new job that will prevent me from doing 3 sets of jelqs each day.
I've done the jelq free routine before and gained 1/4" from in in length. I may as well go back to it.

 

[Toadstool]

Monday, September 24

Warm up > 25 Squeezes > 300 side-sides > Warm down

Wednesday, September 26

Warm up > 26 4-second Squeezes > 310 side-sides > 50 towel raises > Warm down

These squeezes are crap. I don't like them at all. They hurt my wrist, I don't get a lot of expansion in my dinky, and the dingdong twists a funny way.
I'm changing the girth portion to erect and flaccid bends. I really don't understand the difference between the slinky and erect bends.

Next workout will look something like this
warm up
3 flaccid bends (1 for each direction)
2 Erect bends (1 for each direction)
320 side-sides
towel raises
warm down

Soon, i'm going to apply traction wrapping as well.

 

[Toadstool]

Friday, September 28

Warm up > 3 Flaccid Bends > 2 Erect Bends > 320 s2s > 60 towel raises > 3 minutes edging > warn down

 

[Toadstool]

Saturday, September 29

60 minutes Biker Lock hang

 

[imac]

What's a biker lock hang?