Toadstool's progress
- Thread starter Toadstool
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Big Al gave me the green light to do advanced work im looking over the exercises now, its pretty intense. I might do the tension stretches myself.
I cant even imagine doing 57 of them right now tho!
I cant even imagine doing 57 of them right now tho!
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Saturday, June 1
Warm up > 58 Tension stretches > Warm down > 65 towel raises > 6 minutes edging
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Sunday, June 2
Warm up > 60 tension stretches > warm down > 50 towel raises > 8 mins edging
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Tuesday, June 4
Warm up > 61 tension stretches > Warm down > 50 Towel raises > 10 mins Edging
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Friday, June 7
Warm up > 64 tension stretches > warm down > 50 towel raises > 9 mins edging
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Last edited:
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- Joined
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I don't know, realman. I'm a little discouraged with PE. I haven't gained anything in the last year. I have a lot of personal stuff I need to work on and... fussing about my dick just seems low priority right now. I'm just so preoccupied with being a better person and dropping these stupid insecurities inside me that I can no longer find an hour or so in my day to do PE. I might go on a gentle routine of jelqs with no real set schedule, or I might drop it altogether for awhile, I don't know yet.
I'll also be posting less around here, although I will pop in daily to answer PMs.
My new round with BigAl was a bit of a disappointment. He basically kept telling me to find my own routine, so I asked for my money back.
I'll also be posting less around here, although I will pop in daily to answer PMs.
My new round with BigAl was a bit of a disappointment. He basically kept telling me to find my own routine, so I asked for my money back.
Do you do any meditation ?
Do you right out your insecurities and try to rationalize them ?
Think you should just do PE whenever you can.
Also don't get frustrated with the process of self improvement. Don't rushed it. There is no such thing as perfection. Even though they say practice makes perfect.
Do you right out your insecurities and try to rationalize them ?
Think you should just do PE whenever you can.
Also don't get frustrated with the process of self improvement. Don't rushed it. There is no such thing as perfection. Even though they say practice makes perfect.
Hi Toadstool, I see that you joined not many months before I did. If you were new at PEing, it's not really that long time ago. But if you really consider that you have tried it 'all' without finding that you get more results, and the motivation is so low that PEing becomes a drag, perhaps a break for some months will make your penis less resilient to workouts.
And then hopefully you will come back strong again with a high motivation.
If you leave for a while, I will miss your cool posts with your views and angles.
I didn't really consider you to be a person with insecurities; well that's internet. Not easy to tell. Anyway, telling on the internet that you have insecurities, makes you in my opinion really not a very insecure person. Perhaps just some old dust, some old identity that you ned to brush off?
Anyway, if you take the break, I definitely hope you choose come back again.
And then hopefully you will come back strong again with a high motivation.
If you leave for a while, I will miss your cool posts with your views and angles.
I didn't really consider you to be a person with insecurities; well that's internet. Not easy to tell. Anyway, telling on the internet that you have insecurities, makes you in my opinion really not a very insecure person. Perhaps just some old dust, some old identity that you ned to brush off?
Anyway, if you take the break, I definitely hope you choose come back again.
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Ino, thank you.
I talked on the phone with a man I respect very much about this thing. He cheered me up and afterwards, I thought about our conversation. What I basically said to him was, "I fear what other people think. I want people to like me." Which is true. I do want them to like me. I mean, who WANTS people to dislike them? I think what I should have said to him was, "I fear that I lack the skills necessary to hang around with the kinds of people I want and do the things I want. I fear the failure of it and I"m afraid other people will think I'm a failure, which would only solidify that in my own head."
My big problem is that I see myself as a poor communicator. I can't do it like some people can. In fact, I'm so bad at it, that I prefer to stay quiet in some social situations and I convince myself that that's who I am: A quiet person. Except, if I become comfortable with people, I talk a whole lot more.
I fear that my bad jokes make people think of me as someone who is trying too hard, or unfunny, or stupid/lame. Wow when I write it out that seems like wussy-minded thinking. But hey, it is what it is and I'm learning to deal with it.
My friend heard all of this and offered me some empowering advice. I think what I really need to do is... just keep doing what I've been doing: Trying with all my might to be the best 'me' I can be. I couldn't say this in real life without people quirking an eyebrow and thinking I'm some kind of tree hugging hippy; I get that. Nor do I have anyone close enough to me that I can talk to about this stuff. My parents aren't really around and they don't talk to me when they are. I don't have friends who can handle the subject of admitting to fear without considering me a wuss bag ... or maybe that's just my perception of them. I don't know.
What I need to do is tackle all the things I'm really afraid of doing. I think that's the essence of confidence: Being fearless. I don't think fear ever goes away, but rather you learn how to deal with it more. My biggest fear - my dragons that *I* need to fight - are social situations. There are some guys who can talk to (seemingly) anyone about anything for any length of time ... and have FUN doing it! I don't have fun. I often am very serious and grave. Uptight.
Shedding that nonsense about me is what I'm doing right now. It's frustrating because I have no one to talk to about this. There's no feedback, no one to bounce ideas off of. Some days I'm sure I'm getting "better," while other days I'm positive I'll never get better.
I want to have more fun. I want to enjoy being around people more than I currently do. I want to have the verbal/mental skills to talk with them.
I talked on the phone with a man I respect very much about this thing. He cheered me up and afterwards, I thought about our conversation. What I basically said to him was, "I fear what other people think. I want people to like me." Which is true. I do want them to like me. I mean, who WANTS people to dislike them? I think what I should have said to him was, "I fear that I lack the skills necessary to hang around with the kinds of people I want and do the things I want. I fear the failure of it and I"m afraid other people will think I'm a failure, which would only solidify that in my own head."
My big problem is that I see myself as a poor communicator. I can't do it like some people can. In fact, I'm so bad at it, that I prefer to stay quiet in some social situations and I convince myself that that's who I am: A quiet person. Except, if I become comfortable with people, I talk a whole lot more.
I fear that my bad jokes make people think of me as someone who is trying too hard, or unfunny, or stupid/lame. Wow when I write it out that seems like wussy-minded thinking. But hey, it is what it is and I'm learning to deal with it.
My friend heard all of this and offered me some empowering advice. I think what I really need to do is... just keep doing what I've been doing: Trying with all my might to be the best 'me' I can be. I couldn't say this in real life without people quirking an eyebrow and thinking I'm some kind of tree hugging hippy; I get that. Nor do I have anyone close enough to me that I can talk to about this stuff. My parents aren't really around and they don't talk to me when they are. I don't have friends who can handle the subject of admitting to fear without considering me a wuss bag ... or maybe that's just my perception of them. I don't know.
What I need to do is tackle all the things I'm really afraid of doing. I think that's the essence of confidence: Being fearless. I don't think fear ever goes away, but rather you learn how to deal with it more. My biggest fear - my dragons that *I* need to fight - are social situations. There are some guys who can talk to (seemingly) anyone about anything for any length of time ... and have FUN doing it! I don't have fun. I often am very serious and grave. Uptight.
Shedding that nonsense about me is what I'm doing right now. It's frustrating because I have no one to talk to about this. There's no feedback, no one to bounce ideas off of. Some days I'm sure I'm getting "better," while other days I'm positive I'll never get better.
I want to have more fun. I want to enjoy being around people more than I currently do. I want to have the verbal/mental skills to talk with them.
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Realman, no I don't meditate ... though I want to start at some point. i hear awesome things about it.
Sometimes I'll write out my insecurities to people on the web. I don't really keep a journal; I'm not sure how.
I appreciate your words. You're right: this isn't something I can rush. I'm trying to enjoy the process of development but i simply feel very embarrassed about my problem. It makes it challenging to enjoy this process.
As for PE, it's something I will come back to. I have a lot on my mind. Im starting a career in personal training. I have my first client (That I'm seeing tomorrow), I'm saving up for that certification. I'm working a lot at my current security job. They have me plowing 9-14 hour shifts and while the paycheck is good and the work is fine, the hours deplete me of any PE that I can do. Considering all of this, I just don't think enlargement is my top priority.
Yea just continue to enjoy life and always practice the social skills you lack until they become instinct.
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"Wellness isn't about deprivation and it's not about
perfection. It is about pointing yourself in the direction of
growth, training yourself to get comfortable with your highest
potential, and then taking small steps to support that shift.
It's about showing up for yourself, day by day, and then one
day finding that you've undergone a transformation."
-- Kathy Freston
perfection. It is about pointing yourself in the direction of
growth, training yourself to get comfortable with your highest
potential, and then taking small steps to support that shift.
It's about showing up for yourself, day by day, and then one
day finding that you've undergone a transformation."
-- Kathy Freston
