The AP90 (Anti-Porn)
- Thread starter Cockadoodle
- Start date
HansTwilight
Retired Moderator, PE Gym Editor, Member of the M
It actually does have some bit of value to me, and not in the sense you guys are thinking of. It's a collector's item and is really hard to find.
Ultimate Burrito
Moderator, Member of the Month Oct 2017, PEGym He
Then put it in a bag and place it somewhere out of sight.
Out of sight, out of mind.
Tuesday, August 22, 2017
Getting back on track with my tracker...I've been slacking...Also, I let the excuse of not doing two exercises in the Fortify program to hold me back...I am going to move ahead and come back to those.
I am pleased to report that at the grocery store, I saw a woman with a low cut blouse/shirt walking toward me and I didn't try to play Superman...I avoided and moved on.
Getting back on track with my tracker...I've been slacking...Also, I let the excuse of not doing two exercises in the Fortify program to hold me back...I am going to move ahead and come back to those.
I am pleased to report that at the grocery store, I saw a woman with a low cut blouse/shirt walking toward me and I didn't try to play Superman...I avoided and moved on.
Day 1. No phone/tablet in the bedroom, no porn bookmarks and I'm installing adult site blockers as I type. Never went longer than a week... time to go the full 90.
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Day 19 it should be,
Best friend stayed the night as he was passing through heading home. Caught up some, crazy to think he has a full blown GF after knowing him to be a loner for so long haha.
Best friend stayed the night as he was passing through heading home. Caught up some, crazy to think he has a full blown GF after knowing him to be a loner for so long haha.
For staying clean I'm goi g with daily shower. Hahahahaha
Thanks all I won't be going back.
Day 91
Thanks all I won't be going back.
Day 91
23 August 2017 – Day 89 No PMO, Day 82 NoFap
A common feature of the adulthood of a porn addict is the perpetual feeling of horniness throughout the day. For a porn addict, “normal” means “horny.” He is used to a constant and continuous sexual feeling. What I’ve noticed during my recovery is that the normal state is not the horny state. At “normal” there is no sexual arousal at all, the conscious mind disconnects from the sexual and you literally forget that you have your dick in your pants. In porn state you are always aware of your dick, it is in excited mode.
This feeling, of disconnected dick, throughout most of the day is very scary at first. It takes deliberate conscious effort to accept that this is the normal state.
Porn for the most part is used as a stress reliever – similar to heroin and cocaine. We know that this is in fact the true cause of addiction – temporary stress relief in exchange of lifelong damage. One time use is in fact one time too many. The trajectory gets set, the recovery almost never will happen. And yet still stress and depression are part of our daily lives. Eliminating porn, the thing that we used as our previous stress reliever, still leaves the stresses of life unresolved.
This causes a problem that addicts must address – new stress relievers sans porn. Again this requires is a deliberate conscious effort that you must address.
The most beautiful part of quitting porn for me has been the feeling that I am now a man, a stable one. I don’t sit around with crossed legs or with my hands in my pants playing with my dick or rubbing my dick along my legs. No! I leave my dick alone. And this is the manners that I maintain both in public and in privacy. Like with most habits, I like that this is sticking and that it is almost becoming subconscious that when I sit, I spread my legs and my hands almost never sway to my dick – not even temporarily. This is good to see.
Another beauty is that my dick can move from zero to 90+ in just a second. This required trust because in porn state, there is always this need to know that the dick is functioning – you want to feel it. My current state is that I am perfectly comfortable with it being dead. I don’t need to ‘test’ to ‘see if it is working.’ I know it works, spontaneously.
During the first days in my AP90 journey when I began experiencing this dead dick phenomenon, it was hard to accept and assimilate it. Now I know that: dead when not in use, is in fact normal. Active when not in use, is the porn state. ‘Testing’ to ‘see if it is working’, is the failure mentality. Expecting it to rise and stimulate during stressful periods of life, is addict mentality.
An easier way to test which mentality or mind state you are in is simply to replace porn with a drug e.g. heroin, and test the logic.
If a heroin addict complains that he is not feeling high anymore, we simply tell him that: Yep, that is what we call normal. A porn addict who complains that he is not feeling stimulated, we simply say: That is normal. To feel constantly stimulated is abnormal.
If a recovering heroin addict says that he wants to ‘test’ to see if he can still feel high, again we simply say that it is the addict that is speaking. Similarly a porn addict who says that all he wants is to ‘test’, we simply tell him that it is the addict that is speaking.
For a recovered drug addict, who being clean for a while, and then he encounters a stressful and depressing state during the course of his life and now wants to resort to drugs to relief the stress, we simply tell him: Don’t go down that path, it is the wrong path that will bring more despair than relief. And so a recovered porn addict MUST learn to deal with stress in life WITHOUT porn.
In life, there have been a few decisions that I’ve made that were total life changers and that no matter what, I would gladly do it over and over again and this definitely is one of them.
A common feature of the adulthood of a porn addict is the perpetual feeling of horniness throughout the day. For a porn addict, “normal” means “horny.” He is used to a constant and continuous sexual feeling. What I’ve noticed during my recovery is that the normal state is not the horny state. At “normal” there is no sexual arousal at all, the conscious mind disconnects from the sexual and you literally forget that you have your dick in your pants. In porn state you are always aware of your dick, it is in excited mode.
This feeling, of disconnected dick, throughout most of the day is very scary at first. It takes deliberate conscious effort to accept that this is the normal state.
Porn for the most part is used as a stress reliever – similar to heroin and cocaine. We know that this is in fact the true cause of addiction – temporary stress relief in exchange of lifelong damage. One time use is in fact one time too many. The trajectory gets set, the recovery almost never will happen. And yet still stress and depression are part of our daily lives. Eliminating porn, the thing that we used as our previous stress reliever, still leaves the stresses of life unresolved.
This causes a problem that addicts must address – new stress relievers sans porn. Again this requires is a deliberate conscious effort that you must address.
The most beautiful part of quitting porn for me has been the feeling that I am now a man, a stable one. I don’t sit around with crossed legs or with my hands in my pants playing with my dick or rubbing my dick along my legs. No! I leave my dick alone. And this is the manners that I maintain both in public and in privacy. Like with most habits, I like that this is sticking and that it is almost becoming subconscious that when I sit, I spread my legs and my hands almost never sway to my dick – not even temporarily. This is good to see.
Another beauty is that my dick can move from zero to 90+ in just a second. This required trust because in porn state, there is always this need to know that the dick is functioning – you want to feel it. My current state is that I am perfectly comfortable with it being dead. I don’t need to ‘test’ to ‘see if it is working.’ I know it works, spontaneously.
During the first days in my AP90 journey when I began experiencing this dead dick phenomenon, it was hard to accept and assimilate it. Now I know that: dead when not in use, is in fact normal. Active when not in use, is the porn state. ‘Testing’ to ‘see if it is working’, is the failure mentality. Expecting it to rise and stimulate during stressful periods of life, is addict mentality.
An easier way to test which mentality or mind state you are in is simply to replace porn with a drug e.g. heroin, and test the logic.
If a heroin addict complains that he is not feeling high anymore, we simply tell him that: Yep, that is what we call normal. A porn addict who complains that he is not feeling stimulated, we simply say: That is normal. To feel constantly stimulated is abnormal.
If a recovering heroin addict says that he wants to ‘test’ to see if he can still feel high, again we simply say that it is the addict that is speaking. Similarly a porn addict who says that all he wants is to ‘test’, we simply tell him that it is the addict that is speaking.
For a recovered drug addict, who being clean for a while, and then he encounters a stressful and depressing state during the course of his life and now wants to resort to drugs to relief the stress, we simply tell him: Don’t go down that path, it is the wrong path that will bring more despair than relief. And so a recovered porn addict MUST learn to deal with stress in life WITHOUT porn.
In life, there have been a few decisions that I’ve made that were total life changers and that no matter what, I would gladly do it over and over again and this definitely is one of them.
And here goes your luck! Imagine how lucky you are to burn this valuable collectors sacrifice a sign of your commitment!
Some of us had to delete 100's of gbs of porn gathered in over a decade. Some of us were so unlucky and had no sacrifice to offer. Having nothing to sacrifice really makes it hard to stay the course.
Organize a personal ceremony, pick up your most valued porn magazine, and in holy smoke, watch it burn as you receive your atonement of new commitment in your heart that you will sacrifice all it takes to beat this bad habit.
Sir 25,13-26,18 - BIBLIJA.net - the Bible on the Internet
[FONT="]8 [/FONT][FONT="]When you see a good-looking woman, look the other way; don't let your mind dwell on the beauty of any woman who is not your wife. Many men have been led astray by a woman's beauty. It kindles passion as if it were fire. [/FONT][FONT="]9 [/FONT][FONT="]Don't sit down to eat with another man's wife or join her for a drink. You may give in to the temptation of her charms and be destroyed by your passion.[/FONT]
