I need to talk about it... My ED story

[Dutchie]

He guys, first let me introduce myself:

No first of all, I've been lurking on this forum for a month or so and I want to tell you guys this forum rocks! I've always been interested in penis enhancement and people here are really open and friendly towards each ohter. I think I'm at the right place to share my problems and I hope I could get some advice.

I'm 21 years old and I live in the Netherlands. I never felt comfortable about my erections when it comes to sex. To be honest, i never had decent sex altough i had a LOT of oppurtunities. When a girl is lying in my bed, i just don't make the move because I'm pretty certain i wouldn't get it up. I tried it 2 times this year and both of the times it failed, my confidence was really below 0. I'm only 21 but i can't have sex!

Now things are slightly different, 3 months a go i met a wonderful girl which is my gf right now. She knows about this and she is extremely cool about it. We managed to have sex a couple of times, but that was with an 60% erection. I think i may also suffer from PE because most of the time it don't last for more than 15 seconds. Pretty sad isn't it....

When we are and kissing most of the time I get an ok erection, but it fades away when i take off my underwear. I don't even get a full erection when she's giving me a blowjob! The hardest erection I can get is when we are kissing, is there a logical explanation for that?! Some might say it's because i'm anxious or nervous, but i don't think that's the problem. Maybe I'm thinking about my erection too much?

I'm afraid my gf eventualy will leave me because of this and i think about my "problem" at least 2 times per hour. Yeah I know, it really f*cks me up. Because I've been reading here for a while I find out about kegels, jelqing and supplements.
I've started kegels a month a go and i jelq for a week (2 days on, 1 off). I also take the following supplements:
Ginkgo Bilboa
Tribulus
ZMA
Horny goat weed
Gingseng

I've seen some improvements when I'm alone, but not when i'm with my girl.

Now for the masturbation part:
I can get rock solid erections when I masturbate in a sitting position (used to watch porn, i've quit a month a go) but when i'm lying flat, i can only get a 80% erection. The erections I get when i'm alone are way better than when i'm with my gf, so the ED is psychologial right?

WHAT TO DO?! Do I have to keep trying? (I've tried to have sex 10 times or so), do I have to see a therapist? I really don't know...

It do feels like a relief when typing this, i never talked about this with males.
Sorry for my disorganised post and grammar, but I really hope some people recognize my problem and want to help me.

If you want to know some more, ask freely, I'm 100% open because i really want to get over this. My problem hits me on so many levels..

Greetings, Dutchie

 

[normalguy]

Welcome here Dutchie,
You found the right place to solve your problem. Thanks for sharing with us your experience. I do believe that it gives you a hard time but there are lots of guys here who came with similar problem as yours and have had their ED completely healed by now.
Your ED sounds really psychological to me, as you're able to have good quality erection when you're alone. I seems that you worry too much about getting an erection when you're with your girlfriend and she's in a position to see your penis and this is what kills everything. You should concentrate on the fact that you can have good erection when you're on your own and focus on this. Do you have morning woods (spontaneous erections during the night and when you wake up in the morning)? It is a good sign that your ED isn't related to a physical problem.
You said that you started to used supplements and saw improvements. This is a really good thing. Try to take all the five G and drink erection tea too.
Kegels and reverse kegels will certainly help as you seem to have a PE problem (possibly linked to your anxiety too), as well as edging.
You started to jelq which is also a good thing. Just try to not overdo it and follow the safety rules (choosing a beginner routine would be a good thing).
You're on the good track. You have to hang on, give it some time and I'm sure things will get better.
Good luck

PS: I saw that you post this twice: you should ask a moderator to delete the second thread for you if you can't do it yourself

 

[mistydawn]

Hi. I am new here myself and a female. I cannot give advice. I also cannot diagnose. I am trying to learn about ED. I have found this forum to be great. The people on here are very helpful. Hopefully you will get lots of responses and find help. Welcome.

 

[UYN]

Please just post one thread concerning the exact same thing. Thanks.

-UYN-

 

[Dutchie]

Sorry for posting twice, i guess it was an accident.
Thx normalguy for your motivation! I do get morning wood but they aren't rock hard. I guess it's something like 80%
Altough my problem is mostly psychological, my EQ can be improved. I hope the supps and PE will help me with this.

I'll keep you guys posted

 

[UYN]

ED can be both physiological and psychological. In your case I am guessing it is all in your head since you say your erection is very good while kissing, it really sounds to me like you are getting way to nervous and over-thinking the whole situation. Regarding your 80% erection while lying on your back, well this is because of gravity. The day this doesn't happen at all is the day you should be REALLY worried

I suggest that you keep trying and RELAX, if you should able to relax and just enjoy your girlfriend's presence while having sex with her.

-UYN-

 

[Johndoe]

Its psychological. There is not biological explanation for your penis to be in a good erect state when covered, but not when exposed. I would definitely try drinking green tea, realize your gf loves you for who you are, have faith in the supplements, and relax because it is nothing short of a little performance anxiety.

 

[flex]

I agree it's psychological, including the 80% erect while lying on back. I don't think gravity can decrease a good erection by 20%. I love a woman on top, and maintain 100% or as close as I can get, while in that position.

 

[moxsum]

Sounds like mostly psychological.. ive experienced this before a couple times.. I didnt even "feel" anxious but my dick would not work, not even a little bit.. and it was because of anxiety, even though I didnt feel anxious at the time.

Just keep having sex/playing with your girl, just enjoy the sensations and experience and forget about performing. Do more oral sex etc. things that dont involve intercourse..


But yea I have the same issue when laying on my back.. seems my erection isnt as strong.. could be a slight physiological thing not sure...

 

[Dutchie]

Thanks for the replies guys, it means a lot to me. Sunday evening (GMT+1) i'll sleep with my gf again, let's hope i'll have something positive to post on monday

Grts

 

[CUSP82]

Well try to just have fun with her and stop thinking! The minute you engage your brain you dick goes limp. So the answer is to cut your head off? No just make it fun and each time you do it with her you'll be better and better. Why you young guys put so much stress on yourselves is beyond my comprehension!

 

[Letitride]

Are you on medication ? Supplement besides what you listed?? Drink a lot of caffeine ??
Are you eating right ? Working out ? Eating veggies ??
When i stopped all supplements like you listed, and creatine , protein powders , vitamins etc...my EQ became normal again , Sounds crazy i know.

I notice when i drink caffeine over a period of time EQ becomes bad , 1 week with no caffeine its good again.

Thats just me though...

 

[Letitride]

Also i have had this problem with new girl friends , It was crazy i finally have a girl in my bed naked and my dic hits reverse. Not a good deal for her complex and mine either, You might be taking a supplement thats triggering a bad EQ.

The mind can really shut you down but if things are functioning proper you should be able to put it down so i think its something you putting in your body.

 

[trainingtzr]

Hallo

I don't know that much about ED, but let me atleast clear this up for you: that you can't get 100 % while lying is normal! It's has to do with the position you sit down, somehow it's more difficult for your dick to shut down the bloodvessels to keep the blood there.
I got the exact same. When my gf gives blowjob while im lying, I never get 100 %. It even drops down on my belly when she stops(i see this a lot in porn aswell). Anyway, when i get in a sitting position or i stand up, it gets reallyyy hard, rock hard.

Anyway, if you can get an erection when you're alone, like others said, it's all in your head. And tell you this: Blame it on your mind! It's because you think about the whole time. Think about it: Do you think about it when you are alone masturbation? Not really, because there is no stress, you dont have to give someone pleusure, there is no pressure, just you and your penis.
But when you are with your girl, you instantly think: ''sh*t i gotta give her pleasure! Oh wait is my dick gonna go up?? please go up, please GO UP!!''. Result: It isn't gonna go up.

Bottomline: Relax. How to relax? Really easy, go sit somewhere really confortable. Close your eyes and start to think about the whole night that you are going to spend with her. From the beginning, where you guys enter the house, where you guys take of clothes, and when you start having sex. Basicly, you just make a film of what is gonna come up, but this time, the movie is PERFECT, everything, you fuck her really good, on erect mode, no cumming to fast, coz you the MAN, the king that lasts as long as he wants.
If you do it right, you might get really good confidence.

But ill say it again: Your mind is a BITCH. The longer you gonna concern about it, think about it, and worry about it, the more it's gonna show up.
Simpel question: What is the first thing that pops in your mind when i would say ''Sex''? Probably you start thinking about ''oh i hope it goes up this time'' or ''hope i wont cum to fast''. WRONG toughts. You have to be thinking: Damn i gonna f*ck this chick who ever it is!

Oh and one more tip: Do a lot of foreplay.Workout those finger muscle on your girlfriend. She won't regret that + If you know that you already pleasured your girl, this will take of a bit of the stress of the whole ''I need to pleasure her''.

Hoop dat het helpt!

 

[Dutchie]

Lettride: I've a very healthy lifestyle and I'm not on meds either.
Trainingtzr: That sounds awesome! I'm gonna try that for sure. Dankje

This morning I was jelqing at 60% erection (I always go down to 30% while jelqing, then I masturbate to get it back to 60%, is this normal?) And afterwards I masturbated but EQ was around 80%. Can this be a side effects of all those supps, or is it because I masturbated because I wanted to check my EQ?

Sorry for al those annoying questions, but I really feel the need for asking them

 

[k233g976]

I used to have 50% EQ when lying.I believe it's from watching porn while sitting down, and masturbation habits.I stoped watching hardcore porn, and I started edging and kegeling while lying down after my PE routine. now I can say that I get about 80% EQ while lying down. u should try that. just don't ejaculate every time

 

[Dutchie]

Yeah, I also think it's from masturbation habits. When you always masturbate with porn in a sitting position i think your body finds it unnatural to get a boner while lying flat without porn.

I never realised that watching porn too much can actually cause psychological damage. Can that be the cause that I go flaccid when I'm jelqing? Because I've always masturbated with very fast strokes, maybe I don't get erect with slow jelqing strokes?

 

[k233g976]

I go flaccid while jelqing too...I think my penis got used to fast strokes thats why I am trying slower now

 

[trainingtzr]

Going flaccid while jelqing is quite normal. Me, if i get my self to like 70 % and start to jelq, after a while it will go down. Then i arouse myself again, till i get 70 % and then jelq again.

 

[JimmyJ]

Ever try masturbating with her? That may be rewarding and fun.



Other than that kegel Kegel KEGEL & no porn (that was my problem).