I cant satisfy her

darinsixpack

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INS just gave the best advice posted in this thread so far imo!

And the incompatibility part is definitely important to remember. A lot of guys make the mistake of thinking that having a big cock will better satisfy any woman and that isn't necessarily true. I'm only 6.5 BPEL X 5.5 EG and even I have hurt women before. Obviously any woman's vagina will stretch to accommodate size but it doesn't change the fact that it can be very uncomfortable for some women and that they may honestly prefer something a little smaller sometimes. Just something to keep in mind

I too have been with plenty of women, even at my size, I've had to take it very easy with many. We, including most women out there, do not realize, that size relates to the size of a vagina, every bit as much as a dick does. Women come in drastic size differences. Having been with my fair share, I'd even venter to say, their sizes vary much more then men's do. 99 times out of a 100, when a woman wants, or expresses some need for a huge dick, she too has a larger vagina. I mean think about it.

I understand vaginas expand and elongate when aroused, but easily hitting that back wall with a turned on vagina, when all sides of her walls are gripping your cock like she's sucking you, is not the same as fucking empty space. There is a size difference there within these various women.

I've already told the OP my opinion. And as a man, I can tell you, there is no way, I could ever stay with a woman, who told me my cock was just not quite getting it done the way she needed it to be. This issue will return over and over and create resentment. For the record, I do not base these thoughts and opinions are a woman just telling me, "I've had bigger" because most probably have. I base it on if she correlates bigger into the reason why it was better for her.

In my opinion there are three types her. 1. Women who do not like, want or need big or huge cocks. I estimate about 30% of women fall into this category. 2. Women who it makes little to no difference. Average or big can please them just the same, for these it truly is how you use it. I estimate about 60% of women fall into this category. and 3. women who want, crave and need a big or huge cock. I.E "Size queens" I estimate that about 10% of women fall into this category.

Conclusion, for about 90% of women, average will work just fine. Run into one of those 10%, best either be huge, or move along.
 
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Bryan

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And as a man, I can tell you, there is no way, I could ever stay with a woman, who told me my cock was just not quite getting it done the way she needed it to be.

Conclusion, for about 90% of women, average will work just fine. Run into one of those 10%, best either be huge, or move along.

Honestly couldn't agree more with this post.
 

scvready

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g spot is g spot, it is there for a reason and it isn't 6 inches inside, 8 inches, 4 inches, it is right at the entrance. I have small hands and I can reach it easily.
 

this-moment

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Heres an update:
This last week my girl has been really horny lately and shes been the one whos been initiating sex most the time. The few times that i initiated sex she was very receptive to it. I asked her why shes been so horny lately and she said she has no idea but the sex has been really good. Today she stopped by to buy some bud from me (im a medical marijuana grower) she was suppose to be just in and out because she had things to do but she ended up taking her clothes off right in front of me. We obviously had sex and she seemed like she really enjoyed it. Then she left right after. Just within this last week our sex lives have completely turned around. Now it seems like shes usually the one whos wanting sex more so than i am. Sex definitely doesnt seem like its a chore for her anymore she really seems to be enjoying it. Literally i havent been doing anything different in the sack to have caused this shift. I think shes just been a lot more aroused lately and this has nothing to do with me.

A little while ago asked her if she thinks my dick is to small and she said she never once thought that (keep in mind i was 6x5 when i first started sleeping with her). i then asked if she wished it was bigger and again she said I have never once wished that. I dont think this is an issue to her at all i think its more of an issue for me almost like its all in my head.

So for now ill just wait to see how things go with us but as of lately the sex with us has been better than it ever has been.
 

NCGUY1972

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congrats man but don't ever ask if they wished you were bigger! Just enjoy if she is coming back your doing something right so smile and go with it
 

theLog

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I think shes just been a lot more aroused lately and this has nothing to do with me.

Well first and foremost congrats to you for reaching out, your KILLER PE gains and for your accomplishment regarding staying clean.

I agree with just about every post that's already been made but there's also something else to consider:

Now, in my experience when and IF a woman is feeling self-conscious about her sex-drive, I know that sometimes it can get taken out on the man. (Sometimes can be quite damn often too- but I'm doing my best to remain PC here and not generalize as that's not fair. Yes, emotionally uneducated men take B.S. out on women too).

Her feelings of inadequacy (read: libido dip) could have easily manifested into a need for you to also feel inadequate to maintain a balance. Especially when it sounds like you've been a great initiator + you like going down + foreplay + you're into bettering your sexual abilities with PE + etc., meanwhile she's doing *zilch*. You doing all this could have made her feel even worse. (Not that you were doing anything wrong).

Adding to this comes the fact you mentioned when you stopped giving a s*** about pleasing her she started enjoying things. It may have been what she needed. IF that's the case I wish you two the best of luck. Great!

IF not, I'll re-iterate a post I read by someone on PEgym today- basically they'd been married 25 years or so and having great sex. When I read that I thought: some people are simply compatible and there's nothing wrong with waiting longer in life to find someone more compatible. No amount of communication makes a woman's vagina deeper/shorter...forward facing vs. rear facing... etc. This all before you bring into account whether your libidos are a "relative" match. Something to consider as monogamy isn't a buffet. Once you're locked in, you're locked in.

Finally, with utmost respect, notice how in either case no one is absolved here of their emotionally inadequate ways of communication and taking ownership of who they are in a relationship. No libido? Stressed? No problem! Love= clear, honest communication used to better the relationship constructively. What in the future I hope is a "growth" thing for you guys simply didn't happen in this particular instance. Does anything show up for you, like a gut feeling as where to move forward now? I ask because you remarked:

I dont think this is an issue to her at all i think its more of an issue for me almost like its all in my head.

I say this with utmost sincerity and positive regards but 1) whatever was going on WAS NOT IN YOUR HEAD. I have been in the wrong plenty of times in a relationship and take ownership as a man for it too. So I can say it with relative objectivity what you described in the OP wasn't "just in your head" and 2) it hasn't gone away just because the two of you are grinding it out again.

Life's too short to deal with petty B.S.- especially when it's something that could have been averted. Again, seriously though way to go on your accomplishments and I genuinely hope things work out!

:hat:
 
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darinsixpack

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Heres an update:
This last week my girl has been really horny lately and shes been the one whos been initiating sex most the time. The few times that i initiated sex she was very receptive to it. I asked her why shes been so horny lately and she said she has no idea but the sex has been really good. Today she stopped by to buy some bud from me (im a medical marijuana grower) she was suppose to be just in and out because she had things to do but she ended up taking her clothes off right in front of me. We obviously had sex and she seemed like she really enjoyed it. Then she left right after. Just within this last week our sex lives have completely turned around. Now it seems like shes usually the one whos wanting sex more so than i am. Sex definitely doesnt seem like its a chore for her anymore she really seems to be enjoying it. Literally i havent been doing anything different in the sack to have caused this shift. I think shes just been a lot more aroused lately and this has nothing to do with me.

A little while ago asked her if she thinks my dick is to small and she said she never once thought that (keep in mind i was 6x5 when i first started sleeping with her). i then asked if she wished it was bigger and again she said I have never once wished that. I dont think this is an issue to her at all i think its more of an issue for me almost like its all in my head.

So for now ill just wait to see how things go with us but as of lately the sex with us has been better than it ever has been.

Congrats man. I hope this works out and what I mean by this and the way it probably has to be, is for you to clear these thoughts permanently from your head. I don't think most guys could. While it is true, most women have had bigger at some point then the guy they end up with, the key determining factor for me in equating if it will fuck with my head or not, is if that was so much better because of the size. For most or many women, it is not, for some, it truly is. Those are the ones I could not stay with over an issue such as this. If she needed something bigger, for it to be better? I'd have to step away.

I hope it works out for you. But honestly, I could never do what your doing here.
 

burtybasset

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Good job bro, I'm happy for you! :specool:

I think it always was in your head, don't let those negative thoughts get you down!
 

Straw Bat

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Perhaps you're a bit too neat, a bit too messy.
A little too round, a little too square.

What I'm saying is her lack of arousal is probably related to your routine - when was the last time you forwent the oral and fingering, and just spat on her cunt, and fucked her for purely your own satisfaction, and rubbed her face in the pillow, as you would a dog who peed on the rug?

Pretended she's a fair maiden who's village and vagina you are plundering?
Fucked her like you hated her - and really tried your best to concentrate on those emotions and have them come across in your treatment of her?

Many women like to be sluts, and have sex taken from them. They can enjoy being pleasure holes. Every second guy has read the same articles - go down on her first, use your hands, use the 'cum hither' motion - that is all about her, and pleasing her, and making sure she has a great time.

That's all well and good from time to time, if you want a stagnant sex life. Fuck her properly.. take her by the hair and drag her into the closet floor, shove some dirty clothes in her mouth.

Sorry I got carried away typing. Very horny at work ;) start by trying to make yourself believe the person infront of you is somebody you have distain for, but find incredibly sexy.

Imagine if the Lannisters killed your family, and your army storms Kings Landing. You find Cercei, alone in her bed chamber, defeated and sobbing.

What would you do?
 

daddy man

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Straw Bat, thanks for the totally unique and honest perspective on this young mans problem. I found it amusing and somewhat revolting at the same time! You have a great imagination.
 

Jay1983

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She's a closet lesbian.
 

delts

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only read the first page, then the last few posts - so apologies if i've missed people saying similar or other details.

But while i think straw bat may have got a little carried away into some of his own fantasies lol, i think underneath he actually has a point.

From the OP it sounds like this is all totally mental/head based, and there is a total imbalance of power and confidence in the relationship. It sounds like you put so much effort into foreplay and are desperate to please her because maybe deep down you don't feel good enough for her, and are trying to live up to being someone else in order that she doesn't feel dissatisfied. Ironically this is leaving her feeling dissatisfied!

This isn't to say guys shouldn't make the effort with foreplay. But there's a big difference between an unconfident guy really trying to pander to and please a girl, and a much more confident guy still doing the same things - but doing them because he knows she'll love it, because he loves it, and because he knows she's going to want more and more of him.

She can sense that lack of confidence and nothing is less sexy to a woman, hence she's not as turned on, hence it's not as good to her. The dick size thing is the only logical thing in her mind maybe, but no way is that the reason.

Furthermore as straw bat said - it's not all about her! And yes, sometimes just fuck her senseless because you want to and are gonna get yours! The confidence and almost selfishness in that can be very appealing to some women, and then you'll find she'll suddenly start trying harder so that the control isn't all in your court.

I think the way you're being is symptomatic of a massive, more general swing from the sexist old days of the 50s towards "equality". Only problem being in some cases it's gone beyond equality and into a place where men must do everything they can to please a woman - with way more emphasis on that than vice versa. So many articles and proponents of women being strong and independent seem to have got to a point where they believe women are total goddesses to be pandered to and fawned over all the time by wimpy guys who are scared to upset them!! It's got ridiculous!

Now, i LOVE a confident, strong, independent feisty women who knows what she wants and gets it. And women are goddesses who need to be worshipped and fucked silly just as they please, when they want that. BUT - only to an equal amount as those women can do the same for their guy!

In the OP's case it's like it's all in her court. She's lying there waiting for you to live up to being a sex god purely to please her. Well hang the fuck on a minute - maybe your ex was an absolute animal slut in bed and got you going way more too! It's a 2 way thing!

So in summary i think it's purely confidence based. Yes it's good to put a lot of effort into pleasing her - but not from an unconfident, desperate demeanour. If you're gonna do it it's because you know what you're doing, you want to, and you're in charge! I don't think there's many women who after all the power struggles and fun sex games don't want to be taken charge of to some degree and fucked like YOU want to. Not like you're worried about what she thinks too much and need approval and a scoresheet at every angle, whimper and orgasm she might have.

Come on man!! Fuck her like you want because you can and you want to!! Combine that attitude with the extra effort you make over what her ex did and you'll make him look like a clueless, lazy little pussy. Now go and find her, bend her over, pull her hair and fuck her properly.
 

gangsta

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well, its girl problem LOL .. just saying
 

GoingForGold

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You think you didn't change anything but you clearly stated that you started having sex for your own enjoyment and not hers. That is a huge change. Way to overcome your insecurities and poor sex habits.