How old a virgin guy must be to be considered weird?

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GrowBro

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WHY is this thread becoming a talk about Simon and not the original topic... I mean im pretty concerned with the whole virgin thing and im feeling really shitty :/
 

Hanma

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Why's that, GrowBro? What's stopping you?
 

TTBB

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You have nothing to be concerned with.. with todays society people are becoming more solo orientated then group orientated.. so people are not interacting the same as they did in the past..so to meet and mingle is becoming more challenging.. its not uncommon for males to still be virgins in their 20's esp males who hold more traditional values or are socially introverted.. The stigma comes from other peoples fears, other people need to feel normal, so if you are different to them then you must be the odd one because if its not you then it means its them.. when it comes to sex people often become sheep, they follow the flock, if you are not a sheep you feel like you are not normal..but you are normal.. there are many people who fall into the lose it early and many people who lose it later in life.. neither are wrong, weird or bad.. just different lives, personalities and or character.
 

Hanma

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I think we should have a special status for Tink.

"A wise sage" would do.
 

MrBigDick

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WHY is this thread becoming a talk about Simon and not the original topic... I mean im pretty concerned with the whole virgin thing and im feeling really shitty :/

It's not becoming about Simon. We have been discussing the original topis ad nauseum. What would you like us to tell you to help you stop feeling shitty?? I think many have stepped in and have given you some great advice.
 

Dirgarr

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I'm 25 and still one. Had the usual couple of unserious relationships around 14-15, afterwhich there's been nothing at all. Made a few half-assed tries to get into someones pants 8-10 years ago, but I couldn't cope with all the awkwardness and rejection. Apparently I'm not made for the "flirting game", as it's an area I am absolutely stripped of confidence in, and it's gotten worse with age. Sucks for both parts, as I'm the most loyal "romantic" I know of, makes it sort of bitter. Suppose I had some sort of hope that it would just "happen" until I was 19-20, hah. Now that I think about it, I have more or less resigned... makes it much easier to not fail to meet your own expectations of sorts. I'm average in pretty much every department in terms of physique, but neither am I the kind of guy girls will actively check up on.
 
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GrowBro

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Why's that, GrowBro? What's stopping you?

The fact that i don't have a single ounce of confidence when it comes to my looks and girls and sex. I can't say there's a single thing i like about my body because everything has something wrong with it. The bad qualities outweigh the good qualities by alot.

It's not becoming about Simon. We have been discussing the original topis ad nauseum. What would you like us to tell you to help you stop feeling shitty?? I think many have stepped in and have given you some great advice.

Im sorry. Maybe i shouldn't get into this again... :(
 

spanky

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The fact that i don't have a single ounce of confidence when it comes to my looks and girls and sex. I can't say there's a single thing i like about my body because everything has something wrong with it. The bad qualities outweigh the good qualities by alot.

Well, stop trying to sleep with them for now. Just be friendly. No pick up lines or seduction tricks, just stop seeing women as sexual creatures for now and be friendly. If they were boys, then your body image or looks wouldn't matter, it would just be about your character. Treat women like this too and stop trying to measure up to a vague idea you have of what girls want.

The rest will follow.
 

MrBigDick

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The fact that i don't have a single ounce of confidence when it comes to my looks and girls and sex. I can't say there's a single thing i like about my body because everything has something wrong with it. The bad qualities outweigh the good qualities by alot.



Im sorry. Maybe i shouldn't get into this again... :(


I think maybe you have that body dysmorphic disorder. You're really negative on your self image so maybe that has something to do with it. Have you considered seeing a therapist at all?
 

Hanma

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Isn't body dysmorphic disorder a fairly recent problem identified?
 

leftfootpain

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i lost my virginity when i was 14. and honestly, me and my friends would tease a guy thats still virgin at 20+

but seriously, i dont think that matters. 22 is still young.

maybe 30 year old virgin is weird.
 

Illnath

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well, to answer the question: No age is weird in my opinion!

However: I would be rather impressed if you were around 20-25 and still a virgin..why? Because when you hormone levels start to rise...you want some! and an ugly girl will not always get in the way of that, unfortunetaly.
- Ill
 

amiok

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well, to answer the question: No age is weird in my opinion!

However: I would be rather impressed if you were around 20-25 and still a virgin..why? Because when you hormone levels start to rise...you want some! and an ugly girl will not always get in the way of that, unfortunetaly.
- Ill

LOL. My hormones did rise and I wanted some. It just took til I was 23 for a girl to want some.
 

Illnath

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LOL. My hormones did rise and I wanted some. It just took til I was 23 for a girl to want some.

Haha, maybe that was a good thing?

The bad thing about those hormones, is that one can easily lose focus and take whoever is up for it, instead of focusing on finding a really good girl that you would be comfortable with, when having sex for the first time . well that's my opinion :D

- Ill
 
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GrowBro

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I think maybe you have that body dysmorphic disorder. You're really negative on your self image so maybe that has something to do with it. Have you considered seeing a therapist at all?

NO! They tried to tell me i had that disorder but that's bullshit! I KNOW my own body. I know when something's wrong or when something isn't normal. I know what society considers ugly and what's attractive. It's difficult for me to make doctors appointments because of time constraints and my limited medical..

i lost my virginity when i was 14. and honestly, me and my friends would tease a guy thats still virgin at 20+

Exactly my point. Im 20. Still a virgin. You're an asshole in my opinion. Other people would make fun of me too.
 

amiok

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Haha, maybe that was a good thing?

The bad thing about those hormones, is that one can easily lose focus and take whoever is up for it, instead of focusing on finding a really good girl that you would be comfortable with, when having sex for the first time . well that's my opinion :D

- Ill

Well, I was pretty comfortable so that definitely was a good thing. Now was she a really good girl............ doesn't seem so lol
 

La petite mort

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The fact that i don't have a single ounce of confidence when it comes to my looks and girls and sex. I can't say there's a single thing i like about my body because everything has something wrong with it. The bad qualities outweigh the good qualities by alot.

Until you learn to accept yourself for who you are it doesn't matter wether or not YOU THINK others think you're weird for being a virgin. Key point here being you trying to read the minds of others which is impossible, so don't assume they think it's weird.

You cannot possibly be confident about sex before you've experienced it. No amount of reading or practicing alone will prepare you for it. There is no silver bullet, just get it over with and start building that confidence.

As for your body, you have to accept the parts of yourself you cannot change such as height, baldness, cockeyedness etc. The parts of yourself you can change, you change. If you're overweight go on a diet and work out to lose that weight, if you have poor eyesight and don't like glasses save up for laser surgery, get a haircut, change your clothing style, don't just sit there and paint yourself a victim and feel sorry for yourself.

This is hard work and something I struggle with daily. But as long as you're proactively working towards a goal you can't help but feel like a fucking man. Just remember Rome wasn't built in a day, take baby steps but keep taking them even if you feel you're going nowhere at that point.

The choice is black and white really, either you man the fuck up and do what you can with the cards you've been dealt or you give the fuck up and spend the rest of your life getting fat and masturbating to internet porn. Don't flounder around in the middle feeling sorry for yourself, make a choice and let go.

REALIZE THAT YOU CAN ALWAYS CHANGE YOUR CHOICE AT ANY MOMENT IN TIME!

I chose the latter and spent the past 10+ years alone and depressed but changed my mind 2 years ago and now I'm living a life my friends could only dream of. I'm still the short, fat nerd I was back then, I've just learned to embrace it. Don't define yourself by the choices you've made in the past, you can always reinvent yourself on the spot. Think of life as a lucid dream where you can do anything you set your mind to.
 
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