I've said it before and I'll say it again, there's no such thing as rejection, just differences of opinion - and nobody ever got worked up and all up in their head about the prospect of somebody disagreeing with them.
on the lunch dates thing, I'd say maybe try not to see it as a date. Keep it casual at first, like you're just getting a bite to eat, and creating an opportunity to spend some time with her. It'll take the pressure off you, and her, and you can engineer some time alone with her more easily with less resistance. Point is, the more comfortable you become creating those opportunities to be doing something together, the easier you'll find it to be bolder about your intentions as time goes by.
Make lots of eye contact.
Then get back to her soon and say "hey I had a great time with you the other day, do you fancy going out some time? I found this great place you just *have* to check out" or some such thing... depends what you've been talking about. Relate it back to her so she knows you were listening.
Well, that's one approach anyway. It may work, it may not, but as SBE says, you'll never know unless you ask. The worst thing you can do is try to analyse her and work out what she's thinking for yourself. You can't. And use SBE's line if she makes an excuse. It'll clear the air for you and it'll show her you're in control of yourself. Then she might change her mind next time
And the other thing - maybe you're already noticing since you've been approaching women more - is that there are a surprising number of women who will be into spending time with you.
Ultimately it's all about your confidence, or at least her sense of it. Even shyness is fine, it can be endearing IF you're able to laugh about it with her. If she thinks you're uncomfortable though she'll smell it a mile off and you'll need to work pretty hard to get another chance.
Good luck.
Great points Spanky. Thanks.
