Frequency of sex. What a frustrating thing! How often do you and your "lover" do it?

MrsLooking4more

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I gave my wife the audio (CD) of Fifty Shades of Gray. Recently she was listening to the CD while driving home from work and let me know to be awaiting. I"ll have to thank Chuck Norris for the Sex Fest on the Total Gym. It makes a great sex toy. Seriously !
Smart man, that CD was probably one of the best sex investments you have made. Check out my literotica thread for more ideas most of the books are available as audio books. https://www.pegym.com/forums/gym/56194-bdsm-literotica-titles-repository.html

If she is liking 50 Shades she will LOVE The This Man Trilogy by Jodi Ellen Malpas and the UP In The Air Trilogy by R.K. Lilley

If you get her these make sure to be ready to enjoy your sex fest, cause it is coming!
 
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MrsLooking4more

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By the way most of the popular literotica books are available as audio files from most libraries for free. Just download the MP3 file go to OverDrive Media Console and check out if your library is part of the program. That way you and the wife have a win/win she gets the books for free you reap the "benefits". I have a Kindle with text to speech capabilities that baby is my MP3 player when I am doing stuff around the house or commuting to work, That way most books I borrow or the ones I buy become audible files. :becky: My husband loves that I have a Kindle.
 

narcolaptic

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when I was 21yr old I had girlfriend,
I used to have sex 10-12 times a week.
now I don't have a girlfriend so just do it myself 2 times a week. I think frequency has reduced.
 

Appleman

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The last time I was in such relationship it freaked me out and I called it quits. Not to discourage you though!!
 

NCGUY1972

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My wife is so damn confusing. Its like she holds out a couple days and then explodes & turns into a demanding sex animal, almost like she would take it if I didnt give it to her.
 
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Redemption

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For me a relationship is not about one thing, its not about being romantic, its not about being secure, its not about sex, its not about being friends. For me love is all these together. If you love someone completely, you feel an urge to do those things, to be romantic every chance you have, to talk frequently about all sorts of topics and emotions, to be friends and laugh or play together, to feel sexually attracted to one another. In my case, we have sex everyday, not wild crazy monkey sex (well, sometimes), but making love. We desire each other so much we crave to be close. Sex is one of the glues that bonds a couple closer. It does not mean your wife does not want you sexually if she does not want you everyday, there might be something that is making her uncomfortable/insecure or she might need more spice. Try new things, positions or foreplay. Allow your imagination to take over. Think of your fantasies, maybe there is something you always wanted to do, this might be one of hers as well. Not to turn this into a porn description, but let's say she goes down on you, she's down on her knees, ass up, you are on your knees. Bend slightly over her on the side and slide you hand over her cheeks down to her clit. Rub it gently, play on her gspot, lightly grace her back with a calm hand. Make her know she can please you. Give her confidence, she will want it more as she feels more secure sexually. Don't put stress on her for sex, stress and sex has horrible results. Whisper in her ear, tell her she is beautiful, rub the inside of her thighs, kiss her with meaning, tell her she knows just how to satisfy you. Sex is about feeling good about yourself and showing love to your partner. The more you make her feel good about sex, the better your sexlife will be.
 

PumpSon!

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What the hell? It's evolution's fault? Well that doesn't help.

I do agree that the relationship has to about more than sex, or else it all falls apart. Ironically, the more my wife and I get along, the better and more frequent the sex. So I still think the more sex the better.

But damn, the chicks must love you! Talking about pampering them, cherishing the relationship, and not pressuring them to get plowed 24/7. What a crazy new concept for most of us guys. haha.

Afraid so! Because women have a much greater investment if they get pregnant (the many months afterward) it's biological that they're less interested in sex as opposed to men who can spread their seed and move about spreading it consistently without interruption (if they were so inclined, and had the casanova sweet talk to pursue it). There are other reasons, I can't remember, we learnt about it the first week in psychology. Quite interesting.

It was only until I was out on SSRIs and my sex drive plummeted that I began appreciating more than my girl playing with my dick in a relationship lol. Too bad I'm coming off them now and am on a one way street to becoming a revived sexual deviant. :p
 

anonymity

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I don't think there is a "normal" when it comes to frequency at least for all times. There are "normal" amounts of frequency given the current situation. Over the course of our 23+ years together we have gone from 3-4 times a day to once every week or two. We have had life get in the way in so many ways just like any other couple experiences. The Mrs also had hormone issues just like Frog mentioned. We have had those days that were just too long not leaving either of us with the energy we needed regardless of how much we wanted to. Some days all we wanted to do was sleep. Of course we also had the stresses of raising children (the one thing that I would not trade for anything in the world). The one thing that we always did have is the deep love for each other which is way more important than the amount of sex.

I love what Bnip posted. Perfect example of why women can do without it more than men. A woman is more about the emotional part while the man is more into the physical part. Bnip explained that even when she wasn't in the mood, a good massage and relaxing changed everything. If you want more sex with your wife, be sure she feels loved, she feels like a woman and just not a lady taking care of your children or the female roommate. You have to put forth some effort into keeping it fresh and living life with her and not just spending time in the same house. Help her relieve her stress by doing dishes, housework, taking care of the kids while she enjoys some alone time, etc.It will do wonders for your marriage, relationship, whatever you have. Another positive side effect is more sex. I can tell you that it does work because I have lived it. My wife wants it morning, noon, and night. We are truly in love and truly love having sex. Take it from me, put her first and you will be totally amazed how happy you both will be.

Oh MrL4M Thank you so much for opening your heart and sharing your stories with us. It's wonderful that you and the Mrs. have worked it all out and are living the fruits of your labor now. Continuing to share the stories of how you over came obstacles in order to have what you have is the essence of helping others to achieve the same thing. So often we see people just Grand Standing in their personal glory instead of sharing with others the steps of their journey in at least an attempt to help others find the same success. Thank you for not being selfish.
 
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Obsessory

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72 hours and I get weird as well.
 

Roguish75

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Well my longest relationships have been in the 3-5 year range. In all, sex was daily if there was time, etc. Only in one was it less or not given freely, both initiating near equally, etc. of course in that one sex was the worst and she had the most issues.

With my GF of 9 months it's daily; but I worked hard to set the right framework from day one. She both enjoys it and understands it's a basic need of her man she needs to fufill for him to be happy. She understands my happieness is her primary job in life, and hers mine.

Of all my relationships this one is the most emotionally solidarity has the most potential for a successful marriage etc. I also studied, read, watched videos, thought, soul searched, etc for over a year prior really really getting myself together and understanding my roles better and what I needed to give and get. And then I made that stuff very, very clear from day one.
 

Party

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Bump
 

solidlength

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LoL, rise chicken rise!

Depends on stage of life. My wife who has been my SO for the last 11 years have ranged from 4-6 times a day (during the lusty part of our relationship) to once a week (when we were in the sleep deprived baby stages). In my overall lifetime with relationships, usually it's more frequent at the beginning phase of a relationship then settles down from there but I have heard of people going through hormonal changes in life that cause frequency to increase again.
 

Rok

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We have been married over 25 years. Now it is maybe once a month if lucky. She has never initiated and I get tired of always testing the waters first and many times being rejected. She still has the monthly visit and that shuts everything down. She also takes a blood thinner and that kills everything including hormones or desire. We are also immersed in work and end up too tired. She will only do PIV sex and nothing else so, it also becomes kind of routine. We obviously have a strong love and now enjoy movies or dinners out together and have found hobbies. I miss the honeymoon phase, but age takes over and you learn to adapt. I am still a horny monster, but channel it differently. Love this thread and hearing how different it is for everyone across the board.
 

MPolo

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Really interesting thread. Thanks for the bump.
 

Party

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Unfortunately do to our new business andzd her working grave shift, our usual 3 times a week has gone to one. We are in our late fifties and I know how frustrated she is, me too,I miss our alone time. She has, unconsciously resorted to sleeping orgasms. It bothers me but she’s still fun to watch
 

Party

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I have to tell you...I get so frustrated that so many people buy into the myth that men have stronger sex drives than women do. They don’t; in fact a woman’s capacity for orgasm far exceeds that of men and that’s a proven fact.

One of the problems is that societal and personal taboos prevent too many women from fully embracing their innate sexuality. Sure, there are certain illnesses, medications and life stressors that can affect a woman’s sex drive…but they can just as easily affect a man’s.

I have been with my hubby since we were teenagers and will be celebrating our 23[SUP]rd[/SUP] wedding anniversary on September 1[SUP]st[/SUP] and we still continue to “bang like bunnies” every chance we get because we BOTH love sex – always have. According to some experts, I am considered a “high drive’ female but I think their assessment is bogus. I am simply a woman who understands her body and accepts her inner harlot with open arms. I know what pleases me sexually and openly share that knowledge with my husband and he does the same.

Yes, life happens and sometimes we cannot be intimate, but that doesn't mean the desire isn't there. We make each other a priority so when we can’t have sex, we don’t panic because we know it will happen at the next available time- sooner rather than later. We keep our sex lives interesting and communicate about it constantly. The suggestions I offered in my blog about lust in marriage are incredibly helpful in maintaining our sexual relationship.

Here are some additional things my hubby does to keep the passion fires burning:

He takes care of himself – from his physique, to his intellect, even the way he chooses to dress gets me hot and bothered. That is a big turn on for me.

He always makes me feel important, sexy and desirable; sometimes through compliments, sometimes through touch, sometimes it’s a little gift (book, flowers, a red velvet cupcake) that have personal meaning to me, sometimes it is a unexpected text that lets me know he’s thinking about me or sometimes it’s just the way he stares at me at a party like I am the only woman in the room.

He keeps our sexual encounters new and exciting.

He makes me laugh and smile...often. :)
yep
 

CLOSEDNymphGamerAddict

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Hubbly and I have been together for over a year now. I'm not average for a woman in that I want sex multiple times daily if possible.

Hubby on the other hand defiantly needs a daily or ever 2 day orgasm. We have sex like twice a week with me and masturbates on the other days.
 
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Party

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Hubbly and I have been together for over a year now. I'm not average for a woman in that I want sex multiple times daily if possible.

Hubby on the other hand defiantly needs a daily or ever 2 day orgasm. We have sex like twice a week with me and masturbates on the other days.

Hmm? So I’m confused If you’re interested in multiple romps daily and he wants an orgasm every day? Why aren’t you two just fawking daily? Whey does he need to take matters into his own hands? I got a feeling there was a typo in your message.
 

Justalittlemoreplz

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I have been with my wife 12 years and have two young children. Still manage atleast a few times a week either when I wake up for work or right before bed. We have had a few dry spells usually work related for me. But that has been sorted for a few years. I try to keep things fresh and exciting but the main thing it boils down to is I don't take no for an answer unless it's her monthly. I have always had the higher drive out of the two of us and she is submissive so it works for us.