Fleshlight (STU) - usage question

[Lelrizons]

Hey guys!

First post on this forum so here I go.

Finally doing something about my PE. Had weak RK for years and years and for the past month I've been working on them. I feel like it's also mental and I cum as soon as I hear the girl moan as the quiet girls I can last for a while

I've just recently learnt about edging on this forum and has started this week. I went 20 mins with lube and only came close to PONR once so I feel like my RK are really helping

I got a flashlight in the mail yesterday and I was wondering should I wait for 2-3 weeks of edging 2-3 times a week with my hand before I start edging with the FL? Is it important to get the most stimulation as possible as I can sense edging won't be enough to carry over into sex?

I am very sexual active and have one girl that is aware of my issue and is willing to work with me every week at least but just wondering wether I should build up my edging to increase my stamina before jumping into huge amounts of stimulation

Thanks everyone and I am SO glad I found this forum as I know for a fact that I will beat this!

 

[longerlastingnoob]

Welcodome man.
Keep doing what your doing, if you think you're ready to step it up and improve then do it.

 

[RisingHope]

I got a flashlight in the mail yesterday and I was wondering should I wait for 2-3 weeks of edging 2-3 times a week with my hand before I start edging with the FL? Is it important to get the most stimulation as possible as I can sense edging won't be enough to carry over into sex?

Speaking from my own experience, I just jumped straight to FL. Don't want to diss edging with hand, but it would have taken a while for me to like it. From what I can understand, you don't have death grip like I did Now don't worry if you cum quickly the first session. Surprisingly, my nerves adapted to the stimuli pretty quickly and by 6th-7th session I was lasting like 10 mins already. You should be able to last pretty long already, but the point is to challenge yourself. Since sounds are your weakness,ask your girl to moan for you and record it. Not over the top moaning, just quiet moans. Over time you can ask her to raise her voice/increase moaning intensity.Listen to that during edging, while stroking/thrusting at a very slow rate. Over time, you'll get used to it.

 

[Lelrizons]

Speaking from my own experience, I just jumped straight to FL. Don't want to diss edging with hand, but it would have taken a while for me to like it. From what I can understand, you don't have death grip like I did Now don't worry if you cum quickly the first session. Surprisingly, my nerves adapted to the stimuli pretty quickly and by 6th-7th session I was lasting like 10 mins already. You should be able to last pretty long already, but the point is to challenge yourself. Since sounds are your weakness,ask your girl to moan for you and record it. Not over the top moaning, just quiet moans. Over time you can ask her to raise her voice/increase moaning intensity.Listen to that during edging, while stroking/thrusting at a very slow rate. Over time, you'll get used to it.

I might introduce it next week as I really want to get as close to I can to the real thing. I have way more control with edging.

Great progress!

Ok thanks for that advice. What about porn sounds? I might do try the soft sounds first and then do the loud as I progress.

I think a lot of it is mental for me

 

[RisingHope]

Ok thanks for that advice. What about porn sounds? I might do try the soft sounds first and then do the loud as I progress.

Porn is mostly acting, you want something realistic. If you can make your girl moan like a porn star then go ahead lol. Otherwise stick to something closer to reality

 

[Lelrizons]

Porn is mostly acting, you want something realistic. If you can make your girl moan like a porn star then go ahead lol. Otherwise stick to something closer to reality

Good point lol

Plus I can't go hard and fast. As soon as I do with

 

[Lelrizons]

Porn is mostly acting, you want something realistic. If you can make your girl moan like a porn star then go ahead lol. Otherwise stick to something closer to reality

Good point lol

Plus I can't go hard and fast with sex but edging is ok. As soon as I do, I don't last long

I suppose once you gain more control you can keep the arousal down

 

[Lelrizons]

Ok so tried the flesh light for the time in my life and came to PONR nearly every few mins or more

But, I didn't cum and went for 20 mins. Just kept stopping and starting up again as soon I felt my arousal levels drop to a good level.

So does this just gradually improve?
I feel like using the FL is the best way to edge as this is the closest to actual sex

 

[spanky]

Ok so tried the flesh light for the time in my life and came to PONR nearly every few mins or more

But, I didn't cum and went for 20 mins. Just kept stopping and starting up again as soon I felt my arousal levels drop to a good level.

So does this just gradually improve?
I feel like using the FL is the best way to edge as this is the closest to actual sex

Hi Lelrizons,

sounds like you're doing exactly the right thing. I'm a very big fan of Peaking exercises, which are about precisely this. With edging you should try to learn a scale for yourself of typically 1-10, where 0 or 1 is just normal, nothing, reading the paper or something and 10 is orgasm. So let's say 9 is the edge of your PoNR, then stop before you get there, and every day, try to get a bit closer before backing off.

doing Peaking properly, you don't necessarily go right to the edge and test yourself too much, you bring yourself to, say, a 7, then back off down to a 4 or a 5, wherever you can keep erection let's say. And keep doing that, up and down, and pay attention to how far you're going.

Doing this you'll get super familiar with your levels. So for me, I start to lose wood around a 5, and I tend to lock into an 8 during sex. in that place, I'm hard as hell, comfortable, and loving the zone. I mentally disconnect from how my penis feels, my penis becomes a tool for her pleasure, not mine. I try, while this is easier during "foreplay" or a blowjob, and gets harder to concentrate on when you're right up there in the zone, visualising moving the energy outwards, down my legs and up my back..

.. incidentally, moving the energy up your back to your head is apparently how you reach full body orgasm, and while I haven't quite achieved that, it's a great place to be, and I've found that even if I don't cum, which happens sometimes now, I'm more than satisfied with 20 minutes plus in that place.

20 minutes is kind of key for me too, 20 minutes of stimulation - not necessarily 20 minutes of penetration, then after staying at an 8 for a while, relaxed and locked, not worried about it getting out of my control or hitting PoNR, the PoNR starts to move higher and higher away, so then you can get up to a 9 or a 9.5 without flying off, and still get back down again.

And your comfort and confidence is really important too. If all you can think about is controlling yourself, that's going to bring on anxiety, and that won't help at all.

Effectively it's about learning to control your PoNR like it's something outside of you. But it's not. It's all you. It moves. And that is largely psychological, the physical exercises, K/RK etc are about you gaining control, being able to move up and down the scale, and during Peaking, you start to become not just more aware of subtle changes and responses in yourself, you learn and build muscle control from a safer place. I think also, that while K/RK is good for stamina without arousal or edging, that alone doesn't teach you much until you're doing it to control your arousal up at a 7 or 8.

It does improve. And while I'm not going to suggest that it's all psychological like they used to believe, some of it still is. You can control a lot of it mentally and overpower your body. A lot of it is physical, muscle fitness etc. But also serotonin is well known now to have an impact, and if you want proof that you can mentally do something about that, google people being hypnotised to think they're high or on ecstasy. Mind over matter is powerful stuff.

Good luck.

 

[spanky]

I feel like using the FL is the best way to edge as this is the closest to actual sex

Just to add some thoughts, maybe some advice. I could be wrong here, as I've never tried a FL, but I have "fucked" toys before and I can't help but feel that it's never going to be a simulation. I don't doubt it feels great, but in my experience actual fucking is way more than just how your cock feels. It's your bodies connected too, the warmth, the hands. It seems to me that focusing on the sensation in your cock only is the wrong place to look, and tackling only that, you'll learn a small piece, maybe gain tolerance or worse, desensitise yourself, then as soon as you're thrusting your whole body into another whole body, all that training didn't prepare you for that, and you're off again.

Think about your whole body, not just your cock.

The perfect place to be is not to desensitise yourself, like all these numbing creams you get - bad, bad, bad - but to manage your PoNR instead so you can feel and enjoy all of it.

I know we can be in a super-sensitive place where even touching it will set you off, but if it's her moans that set you off, from what you've said, then I don't think that that is your problem.

That said, if, as I've heard, the FL really does feel that close, then by all means close your eyes and ram it hard into you against your lower body like you're hitting something bigger, but you need to tackle the thing that's setting you off at the same time. I'm not sure porn is the ideal for that, as you're not invested in the pleasure of a recording or some random porn star, but then maybe that would help, as you're going to be disconnected from the apparent recipient anyway.

Something else to think about that might help, and wow it's fun, is during actual sex, bring her to the edge, then stop. Not for you to get control - though it will help - but for her, as she'll be annoyed with you for stopping, which is a lot of fun, then do it again. And again. She'll tell you she hates you, but mate, when you don't stop after the third time or more, and let her cum, she will cum HARD, she won't care about you coming too quickly, and she won't be looking elsewhere.

 

[Lelrizons]

Thank you so much for your detailed response!

First of all I've quit porn for about a month or more as its a awful habit. I use it to cum and quickly as possible so I am happy to never use it again. I don't need it.

I am also extremely fit and healthy, I train 5x times a week, cardio and on strict meal plans. My body is in great condition at 32 years of age (I know it's late to start fixing my PE)

The only reason why I think the FL is best for me as I can edge with lube with my hand for ages and it doesn't "feel" like sex at all. The FL (STU version) actually legit feels like sex (feels amazing)

Another thing I feel like edging for 20 mins without cumming is actually teaching my brain to be satisfied with not always achieving my "orgasm" (cum). I feel like after time i will enjoy the plateau orgasm the time in between that we all have been missing.

The thing is I'm single and have many girls on the go but have one that is regular that is aware of my PE and is willing to edge with me so that will help

The main issue I am having now is as I am working on my PE I am thinking too much about "not cumming" where I need to shift it too "I will last longer" or "I need to scale it back to a 6-7". I find if I concentrate on being loud or breathing I can eliminate this a touch

 

[Lelrizons]

Tried the FL again tonight in different positions and I have identified when sitting on my back I get to PONR very quickly.

Went for 25 mins, had only two PONR during the first 15 mins but then when on my back I had multiple IK and went too far and came

Next two sessions I am gonna aim to not cum as I want to train myself that I don't have too, to enjoy it. I found the second session a tiny bit easier as I knew what to expect (expected arousal)

I concentrated on keeping a relaxed kegel and tried to think about lasting rather than "I'm gonna cum"

 

[Lelrizons]

Had a sex dream last night

But the major difference is that it wasn't a wet dream I actually lasted for ages and practiced edging hahaha

Maybe it's already getting into my subconscious!

 

[cloupor]

I`d like to have such dreams too! Even the sleep is not an obstacle to practice for you!

 

[Lelrizons]

I hope it's a sign that I am re-wiring my brain already

I've been reading and I have been dealing with hay fever/allergies all my life and when getting blood tests I've always shown high histamines. Does anyone know if it's true that there may be a correlation with PE?

 

[Lelrizons]

Ok edged last night with the STU

Struggled to get it up initially but once I got it in half erect I got it hard enough to thrust (about 7/10)

I went for 11 mins without getting too close to PONR! Then there was a IK at the 18 min mark and did a RK and slowed down and didn't cum at the end of the session

I did it standing up missionary (which I find I have more control of my kegels) for the first 10 mins and then on top (I cum too quick when a girl is on top)

Took Zyrtec for the past two nights but surely that can't be doing anything but it was a huge step. Plus I think it depends how horny you are too

 

[longerlastingnoob]

I hope it's a sign that I am re-wiring my brain already

I've been reading and I have been dealing with hay fever/allergies all my life and when getting blood tests I've always shown high histamines. Does anyone know if it's true that there may be a correlation with PE?

Imo, it's bs.

 

[Lelrizons]

Imo, it's bs.

I thought so

Otherwise everyone will be doing it

 

[Lelrizons]

So had sex 4 times with a girl

First time, I had huge amounts of IK and rushed to ejaculation in 2-3 mins (stopped too late)

The other 3 times were much better, some lasting over 10 mins, no IK until I went faster

I didn't get to edge which I should have but I feel like with sex I always stop PONR too late. Need to get the timing better

 

[Lelrizons]

Hey guys

Do you think at my age (31 years of age) i may have left it too late to battle PE

I don't think it is. I find I have a better understanding of my body than when I was younger

I am just thankful to find this forum