Anal

[Batwoman]

Misty does not like anal, and thinks that most women do it only to please men (forgive me if I am misinterpreting your viewpoint, Misty). From that comes the idea that men should not ask women for anal sex since doing so constitutes putting pressure on them, and they probably would give in for the wrong reasons. All that overlooks the fact that some of us enjoy anal sex for all the right reasons -- and we don't think it's wrong for couples to talk about it and explore anal pleasures, as long as the desire to do so is mutual.

 

[Batwoman]

I should also say that I really do think that anal sex should be considered "advanced sex" -- not something to be engaged in casually. The trust necessary for a woman to truly enjoy it both physically and emotionally probably requires (in most cases) the context of a long-term loving relationship.

 

[spanky]

I've only done it a few times but it's never been a pressure thing. In fact, it was usually her idea. The first time was *not* in the context of a long-term relationship either, we'd been together for a week maybe? It was just something we both wanted to try out. We'd been joking about it and I remember a friend of hers saying "you have to know somebody really well to do that" ... well, on the contrary! Afterwards I asked her if it hurt (and looking back I was probably too rough - no lube), and her reply "yeah, but it feels soooo good" will stay with me for a long time

 

[someone_like_u]

I'll admit that we first tried anal because of my husband. We tried it on several occasions before we had kids and it wasn't a pleasant experience, never got past head penatration. I never felt any pressure from my husband to do it. At the time, it didn't work, so we moved on. Anyway, while my husband was gone on this last job, I started searching about anal, that's how I came to pegym.

I always enjoyed him touching or fingering me but, looking back, we always rushed things, so it never went well. A few days before he was to come home, I told him we were going to try again and I would set the pace. We talked about what we were going to do and everything went amazing when he came home.

So at first, for me, it was about something he wanted. It turned out to be a wonderful new experience for both of us that we both enjoy and want now.

 

[Total_Honesty]

My girl flat out REFUSED anal sex when we first started dating. It took some time before she would agree to it and now she'll do it on special occasions. I can tell that she's open to the idea of anal more than she has before.

 

[Batwoman]

There is no question that anal can be scary for women and that it can hurt if done badly. That combination turns off a lot of women. That's why I think that anal should start with open conversations about it between partners, and lots of anal play (touching, caressing, fingertip penetration, etc.) over days/weeks with no pressure to go further until she wants more.

 

[Batwoman]

Well, it truly doesn't have to hurt at all -- indeed, it can be a source of great physical and emotional pleasure for a woman -- as both someone_like_u and myself can attest to. I certainly don't think my dignity suffers one bit because I enjoy anal sex!

But that said, I totally support your decisions about yourself and your own body, Misty. If you don't want to experiment with it, you absolutely have the right to say "no".

 

[CUSP82]

So what does everyone want for lunch or is this a bad time to bring it up?

 

[Batwoman]

Ummmm.... yes, I am enjoying other thoughts right now!

 

[snuffy]

Well I am sad to say I didn't get to explore anything last night. She had a OBGYN visit yesterday morning with a new doctor and she didn't like him at all. She said her body wasn't feeing very happy after the Dr. Visit. I could't blame her for feeling that ways. It will happen soon enough. But I am glad I was able to get everyone else in the anal exploration mood!

 

[Ivor]

Misty, I'm sure no-one here is trying to denigrate or deny your experiences, but can we just accept that different people like different things and that some women - including some women who post here, clearly - genuinely enjoy anal sex and do it for their own pleasure, rather than merely to please their partner? Batwoman certainly doesn't seem the timid, downtrodden type who'd let her partner make her do something she found painful or humiliating.

 

[someone_like_u]

Well I am sad to say I didn't get to explore anything last night. She had a OBGYN visit yesterday morning with a new doctor and she didn't like him at all. She said her body wasn't feeing very happy after the Dr. Visit. I could't blame her for feeling that ways. It will happen soon enough. But I am glad I was able to get everyone else in the anal exploration mood!

Well you're not the only one. My dear husband was exhausted last night and by the time I got out of the shower and in bed, he was fast asleep. Darn hunting and getting up too early to climb a tree

 

[snuffy]

Well you're not the only one. My dear husband was exhausted last night and by the time I got out of the shower and in bed, he was fast asleep. Darn hunting and getting up too early to climb a tree

See... He needs to quite hunting white tail. When he has all the tail he needs waiting for him at home!

 

[someone_like_u]

See... He needs to quite hunting white tail. When he has all the tail he needs waiting for him at home!

LOL! I'm trying to be cool about it as he hasn't been much and I have I'll try again tonight I get my way eventually

 

[Steve23]

My current girlfriend we tried it once long ago, she said it hurt but seemed to love it I thought it was lots of effort but enjoyable, and she was the one that kept begging and pressuring me after to do it again But after a while it got a lot easier to do and prepare for. So I guess like some of the women here say, once they do it and like it they want it again and again I figured she was too sore from it but I suppose a good type of sore..

 

[someone_like_u]

I endured through the pain, which I happen to believe most women do.

Misty, you're way tougher than I was to endure the pain. Hell, I couldn't handle it those first few tries and had to stop. I honestly had no pain from beginning to end this last time, which was a very pleasant experience I think I'd be turned off from it as well, had I continued those first times

 

[insight]

Yep, Batwoman pretty much said it right. I do believe men pressure the women (they like to call it motivation). We all know Women do things to please their man.

You degrade me as a male when you say things like this. I have never pressured my girlfriend into anything unless it benefits the both of us (like when she said she hated plums though never tried it, so I bought her one and now she loves it). I have the greatest respect for my girlfriends feelings/thoughts and I tell her to her face whether my views are different or not and tell her that I respect her feeling and never pressure her, in fact I generally stop the conversation right there unless SHE continues with it.

My girlfriend was against anal and I respected that and never brought the conversation up again (actually I think she was the one who brought up every anal conversation, because she didn't understand why my views were different to hers). She told me why she didn't like it and I respected that. Now she tells me she's keen to try but I'm not so sure.

You said yourself that women do things to please their man and this is EXACTLY the reason why I have tried talking her OUT of HER decision as I refuse to do something that she truly is not comfortable with. I don't see how you can say that I'm pressuring her when you say things like you do. Maybe you've just had bad experience with males but that doesn't mean all males are like that, some men have respect for women and their thoughts/feelings.

I also don't see how you can let your experience judge those of other women as well. It's like your flat out calling all these women on this forum who have experienced anal (at their own decision) and enjoyed it liars.

-------------------------------------------------

Anyways, my girlfriend hasn't mentioned anything about anal in the last 24 hours and I'm hoping it stays that way. She still thinks I'm browsing the internet looking for some anal lube to buy, but I'm hoping not to push her into something unless she truly wants it.

 

[BigRooster]

Well you're not the only one. My dear husband was exhausted last night and by the time I got out of the shower and in bed, he was fast asleep. Darn hunting and getting up too early to climb a tree

I'm not a hunter but I think this is the time of year where. A lot of men prefer to hunt four legged deer instead of the two legged one. I prefer the two legged one.

 

[Brian98]

Been doing bumsex with my gf recently quite a few times, we have did it 3 or 4 times now cause she knows i love it, problem is she just doesnt enjoy it, is there anything i can do because ive did everything possible, have sex with her normally until she cums to relax her, lots of lube, play with it for a bit to loosen it up but she just can't take it, can only take my head and a lil bit, im too big. Last time i agreed it would be the last, do some girls just not like it, is it just that some girls like it and some don't, even if your doing it properly?

 

[funflyer]

Been doing bumsex with my gf recently quite a few times, we have did it 3 or 4 times now cause she knows i love it, problem is she just doesnt enjoy it, is there anything i can do because ive did everything possible, have sex with her normally until she cums to relax her, lots of lube, play with it for a bit to loosen it up but she just can't take it, can only take my head and a lil bit, im too big. Last time i agreed it would be the last, do some girls just not like it, is it just that some girls like it and some don't, even if your doing it properly?

It's about as natural for a girl to receive anal sex as it is for a guy. Do you think you would love it and want it all the time? Personally I think it can be quite fun a times to have the misses play around with me. I don't think it would be fun all the time nor do I think I would want a guy pounding away at it. Just kind of take a step back and look at it from her perspective is all I'm saying. It's definitely not for everyone. She may have had a really bad experience as has been mentioned by another poster that turns her off to all attempts at it or left such an unpleasant memory that she is unable to enjoy it due to emotional scaring. If it's not for her enjoy vaginal and oral mix in a handjob or have her squeeze her breasts together while you stroke in and out. There are plenty of things to do together that you all can find something you BOTH enjoy! The worst thing you can do is force an unpleasant experience time after time until the idea of having sex with you is revolting and your cut off altogether!