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Yes, another anal thread, here we go...
The internet is full of advice on How To Do Butt-Sex Properly - I'm sure anyone here with any interest in either giving or receiving has read plenty of it - and they all say more or less the same things: cleanliness/hygiene, lots of lube, start with a finger, go slow, listen to your partner. All of which is great advice, of course. But there's a lot of emphasis on 'getting her in the mood'. In my experience, if the woman/receiver (I'm straight, but I guess for gay guys it's probably the same) isn't in the mood to start with, or at least potentially in the mood, it's just not going to happen. Or she'll grudgingly let you, it will hurt because she's not properly relaxed, and then she'll be in a bad mood with you afterwards and you'll feel like a jerk.
When she's really in the mood, on the other hand, after a couple of minutes of very slow, gentle probing I can go really deep and fuck her almost as if it were a second pussy, and with some clitoral stimulation too she comes quicker and harder than she does even from normal sex. Sometimes we get there together but often she comes before me, and I have to slow right down and very gently get myself the 'last few yards' while she's panting in a blissed-out heap. And she says it never hurts when it's like this, either during or after - although I think a big part of this is the Adam & Eve anal lube with lidocaine we use now (forever in Batwoman's debt for letting me in on that stuff!).
So really, I've found the receiver's mood and level of horniness before you even start is actually more important than the foreplay, lube etc. Obviously those things are vital too, but with all the patience and Astroglide in the world, if she doesn't actively want to be ass-fucked in the first place, it's a fool's errand. You might be able to talk her into it, but it's likely to be uncomfortable for her and she'll go off the idea completely for a while.
I'm trying to stick to only doing it when my girlfriend suggests it, which she does fairly often (every few weeks I guess, I count myself pretty lucky in that respect, amongst many others). Because I know I have no willpower, I've told her that the next time I suggest it out of the blue, then unless she happens to be in the mood coincidentally she's to give me a slap and tell me to damn well wait till she's ready.
(It's not like we don't have plenty of amazing non-butt-related sex; for one thing, both of us are pretty oral-obsessed too, which is great.)
Just thought I'd throw this out there because so many threads about anal focus so much on the mechanical side of things - the right sort of lube, whether to work up to penetration using toys, what's the maximum girth you can use for anal, etc. - whereas the receiver's mood, before you even start, is the most important thing. Guys, if you can hold back from suggesting it to your partner and wait till she mentions it, I think you've got a much better chance of her enjoying it and wanting to do it again and again.
The internet is full of advice on How To Do Butt-Sex Properly - I'm sure anyone here with any interest in either giving or receiving has read plenty of it - and they all say more or less the same things: cleanliness/hygiene, lots of lube, start with a finger, go slow, listen to your partner. All of which is great advice, of course. But there's a lot of emphasis on 'getting her in the mood'. In my experience, if the woman/receiver (I'm straight, but I guess for gay guys it's probably the same) isn't in the mood to start with, or at least potentially in the mood, it's just not going to happen. Or she'll grudgingly let you, it will hurt because she's not properly relaxed, and then she'll be in a bad mood with you afterwards and you'll feel like a jerk.
When she's really in the mood, on the other hand, after a couple of minutes of very slow, gentle probing I can go really deep and fuck her almost as if it were a second pussy, and with some clitoral stimulation too she comes quicker and harder than she does even from normal sex. Sometimes we get there together but often she comes before me, and I have to slow right down and very gently get myself the 'last few yards' while she's panting in a blissed-out heap. And she says it never hurts when it's like this, either during or after - although I think a big part of this is the Adam & Eve anal lube with lidocaine we use now (forever in Batwoman's debt for letting me in on that stuff!).
So really, I've found the receiver's mood and level of horniness before you even start is actually more important than the foreplay, lube etc. Obviously those things are vital too, but with all the patience and Astroglide in the world, if she doesn't actively want to be ass-fucked in the first place, it's a fool's errand. You might be able to talk her into it, but it's likely to be uncomfortable for her and she'll go off the idea completely for a while.
I'm trying to stick to only doing it when my girlfriend suggests it, which she does fairly often (every few weeks I guess, I count myself pretty lucky in that respect, amongst many others). Because I know I have no willpower, I've told her that the next time I suggest it out of the blue, then unless she happens to be in the mood coincidentally she's to give me a slap and tell me to damn well wait till she's ready.
(It's not like we don't have plenty of amazing non-butt-related sex; for one thing, both of us are pretty oral-obsessed too, which is great.)Just thought I'd throw this out there because so many threads about anal focus so much on the mechanical side of things - the right sort of lube, whether to work up to penetration using toys, what's the maximum girth you can use for anal, etc. - whereas the receiver's mood, before you even start, is the most important thing. Guys, if you can hold back from suggesting it to your partner and wait till she mentions it, I think you've got a much better chance of her enjoying it and wanting to do it again and again.
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