Man, man, man.. you're really taking it the wrong way. I explain you why. Reading at your posts seems that you made by yourself BY THE FIRST MOMENT a self-diagnosis. And this is the first stupid thing. If you're fully convinced to have a problem, soon you will attract the problem upon you, even if you don't have it. It's called psychosomatic. Second: you say there is no hope about your phisical condition when you have all the hopes of this world. Medicine is an exact science, not a magical thing. You DO have the possibility to totally heal your condition, you do have infinite possibility to improve your life, physically and psicologically. You will reborn and really enjoy your life, Im sure. Hope is an infinite way and makes her best gifts when you less expect for them. Be calm and confident, and everithing will gonna be allright.
First: I had a friend who had a bad sex experience with a very beautiful girl.. he couldnt reach an erection so after all he started to think he had a big problem. He was a very sensible and susceptible person, he also had other big issues in his family, and the thing happened one more time, so he started to think he really had the problem. He tried to make something but he was too stressed, so he started to feel himself like a ill person and avoided every contact with girls.. he told me he didnt have even a morning woods for days, at all.. but he didn't know that morning woods are not a physiological necessary thing, they happen when you're ok, they can not happen when you have even a concern, when you feel stressed or sad. The "morning wood law" for sexual health is the most stupid thing I've ever heard. After months and months of struggling with himself I recommended him to relax, the best way is to change everithing, place, people and air: he had a holiday of 2 weeks in europe in a camping village with animation. His life changed. He started with the thought to only relax himself and recharge his mind but there he met a spanish girl and, without to think, one evening while talking of sh*t he had a kiss with her and after he had sex with her, and it was the best sex in his life.. when he woke up and realize what he did he can't believe it.. his life changed. This should tell you many things about the concept of "being ill" or suffering "something" like ed or how do you call it. Your brain is not just a laundrette, is the thing that moves all your body, and same, if cialis works, it's beacause you brain make it works.
Second: I want to trust you, and believe you when you say that you problem is really phisical. But always remember that psicology plays really a great game in this kind of problem: you even told you suffered of premature eiaculation and this IS for itself a psicological problem. And my friend had that problem just thinking he had it! However, you also said you went to the doctor.. but a good doctor first of all have to make to his patient an "ANAMNESIS": a series of question about your lifestyle before the problem, during and after, and about all your relatives in your genealogic tree.. even question like "do you have an uncle or a male blood-relative without child?" this is important to understand if the problem is already happened in your family; if so it could have a genetic cause in it. Analize you life, and your sexual life before the problem is fundamental to understand his genesis: at what age you had your first masturbation? did you ever had sex? at what age? always normal, never a problem? never noticed nothing? never done some strange practice before the problem? what was your psicological condition BEFORE? it's fundamental all this. Another thing: please, STOP, STOP AND STOP of charging and accusing yourself of this thing just because you did some penis exercises.. Yourself said you did em just 2 times!! Unless you didn't hanged yourself with the penis to the chandelier, that's not the real cause! If you already had the physical predisposition it could have happened even doing some harder masturbation practice, or even doing sex with your girlfriend!! I ensure it to you, it's not your fault.
So, what to do now? I'm really impressed reading all this posts, that you go and return from hundreds of doctors and no one of them formulate you a DECENT DIAGNOSIS. What they do? they give you cialis. This is really a stupid thing. If the problem is really physical, cialis can only tamponate without solving nothing.
Do these doctors made you a stabile diagnosis? did you do ecography, evaluation of the perfusion level of your erctile tissues, WAS IT FOUND A LEAK? It is not a magical "I guess" thing, stop making self diagnosis!! venous leak can and must be diagnosed, not GUESSED!! Medicine is an exact science, not a wheel of fortune!! We can transplant HEART, ARMS, but can't make a decent penile venous leak diagnosis? poor medicine outraged by such doctors.. So, what do they say? they continue to tell you nuts, taking you for the ass? change doctor. You need 1) a DIAGNOSIS and 2) a THERAPY (surgery or radiologist) not the fucking cialis!!
PHASE 1. What is your economic avaibility? I ask you this because 1) You shold make a big trip to a good urologist in usa or in the country where you live and 2) you should take a break from you everyday stressing life with a little trip, like my friend did. Unplug.. and go in a beautiful place or simply in a wellness center near your city: have a sauna, a relaxing massage and similar things will really improve the wellness of your whole person. Stop layng on the bad!! stop drinking alcohol and sh*t like that!! get angry and do things really useful for you! Do you know what does medical statistics say about serious oncologic patients? The only ones who have the opportunity to win their challenge with this terrible illness are those who have the FIGHTING SPIRIT (cit. litterally). I think and most of the experts say that fighting spirit in front of the problems of the life is the only real thing that makes a difference between a real man and a poor kid. Not the penis distinguish the man.. but the fighting spirit! Psicologic angry attitude even helps patience with really big and serious ill.. it's science fact.
PHASE 2. Whatever diagnosis is, I strongly hint you to go to a psycologist. It's the most normal thing you can do, today 5 persons out 10 do it. You can't really believe how beautiful and relaxing is to speak about a problem which is layng on your stomach since 4 years to A REAL PERSON and not a forum on the web.. it's not enough your father knows, you need to talk with another person (humans need to confront each others) and make a therapy that will discover the strong point of your personality and cover and solve your weak points.. and make you stronger and more pleased and prepared to the cases of the life.
PHASE 3. In every case discover the real life flavour.. not the sh*t this society always call, not bitch talking, not binge drinking.. Discover your passion. Discover God. Start painting. read history, read about what happens in the world, the cultures in the world, read books.. make little works and conserve money to make the most important thing you can do for your life: travel around and enlarge your mind. Whatever it will happens (but im sure you will resolve your problem) You will be really changed. In the best way.
Medicine continuosly make progress, every single day.. just be confident and don't lose em
You will get through this in the better way, im sure. I spoke to you like I would have with my best friend. sorry for the long post and my bad english.best regards.
