Big, I dont think I ever said Ive tried "everything" i listed the things I've tried and said that none of them helped me. As far as the battery of testing, i have not done that. I agree that yoga and stress reduction measures may help me. I dont believe i ever insinuated that because i tried ssri's and tramadol and they did not work, that I surmised that it wasnt chemical???? As far as testing goes, you may be correct, i work fulltime as a registered nurse, but have no health insurance, and basically live paycheck to paycheck too, not that i wouldnt go to the MD though.
Ready to give up altogether!!
- Thread starter almightycrunch
- Start date
you should try what i said dude i guarantee it'll work i was able to last 2+ hours jacking as vigorous as humanly possible to awesome porn i was even getting mad that i couldn't finish, kept repeating why the fuck cant i cum lol.. it also didn't make my penis insensitive it actually felt more sensitive i don't know how that works you'd think it'd make you cum faster because of that but every time i was on it it produced that same effect of feeling like it was nearly impossible to cum and jacking off like that would usually make me cum in like 5 mins even less.
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Trooper, while I dont want to rule out chemical assistance conpletely, i certainly would prefer to find a different solution to the problem first. If chemical means end up being the solution than so be it. But thanks for the suggestion
MrsLooking4more
Retired Super Moderator, Member of the Month Feb
Almighty Crunch first I want to say I am sorry for your situation and I totally understand it. You see I was in your wife's shoes a few years ago. My husband had ED and 90 seconds would had been great at that time. Like your wife I did not like anything other than intercourse done to me and a lot of it had to do with my upbringing.
That being said I must tell you that this is something that will take both of you to be resolved. The Mr and I did not go to a therapist because I was willing to work with him on the issue that affected both of us and I can tell you that the anxiety absolutely messed with his PreE.
I can also tell you that as frustrated as you are so is she. For the longest time I thought it was me that was creating the issue. I thought maybe he did not find me sexually attractive anymore, etc. Believe me she has all kinds of anxiety happening in her head same as you do.
It took me a long time to be willing to try other sexual things in order to achieve satisfaction, and overcome my own issues with trying them but I can tell you once my husband was able to have that worry out of his head, it did reduce the anxiety and improve sexual performance. It did not occur overnight and we did end up figuring out that a lot of the problem in our case was created from my husband's high blood pressure medicine.
We dealt with this ED issue for years, so don't think we just fixed it quickly we did not. We went through Testosterone shots for years and no steady improvement whatsoever. We are 46/48 years old and can tell you that was probably the most frustrating years of our lives and it was though on the marriage. Please take a look at your medications if you take any. What my husband's specialist suggested he do was get off all meds for a period of time and then introduce them one by one until the culprit was found.
There many reasons but you wife most definitely has to be involved. I am sure she is having her own anxieties and they are most likely not about you. She is still your wife and has not left regardless of the comment. Sounds like her frustration just came to the fore. Nothing new since you are BOTH living with it. It's just hard to hear it expressed out loud. You most definitely need to speak with her and whether you do it in the manner suggested here or in the manner you know will work best for her, you BOTH just need to make it happen. If she wasn't willing she would have left, you guys just need to get dialog started and work together. I know this is easier said than done but let me tell you the rewards are amazing!
You can ask my husband we are now making up for lost time and I love it and I know he does too. The good news is you are here and most of what helped us to get a healthy penis and a healthy relationship, we got from this site. Good luck to you and fell free to PM or the Mr anytime with any questions. Good luck!
That being said I must tell you that this is something that will take both of you to be resolved. The Mr and I did not go to a therapist because I was willing to work with him on the issue that affected both of us and I can tell you that the anxiety absolutely messed with his PreE.
I can also tell you that as frustrated as you are so is she. For the longest time I thought it was me that was creating the issue. I thought maybe he did not find me sexually attractive anymore, etc. Believe me she has all kinds of anxiety happening in her head same as you do.
It took me a long time to be willing to try other sexual things in order to achieve satisfaction, and overcome my own issues with trying them but I can tell you once my husband was able to have that worry out of his head, it did reduce the anxiety and improve sexual performance. It did not occur overnight and we did end up figuring out that a lot of the problem in our case was created from my husband's high blood pressure medicine.
We dealt with this ED issue for years, so don't think we just fixed it quickly we did not. We went through Testosterone shots for years and no steady improvement whatsoever. We are 46/48 years old and can tell you that was probably the most frustrating years of our lives and it was though on the marriage. Please take a look at your medications if you take any. What my husband's specialist suggested he do was get off all meds for a period of time and then introduce them one by one until the culprit was found.
There many reasons but you wife most definitely has to be involved. I am sure she is having her own anxieties and they are most likely not about you. She is still your wife and has not left regardless of the comment. Sounds like her frustration just came to the fore. Nothing new since you are BOTH living with it. It's just hard to hear it expressed out loud. You most definitely need to speak with her and whether you do it in the manner suggested here or in the manner you know will work best for her, you BOTH just need to make it happen. If she wasn't willing she would have left, you guys just need to get dialog started and work together. I know this is easier said than done but let me tell you the rewards are amazing!
You can ask my husband we are now making up for lost time and I love it and I know he does too. The good news is you are here and most of what helped us to get a healthy penis and a healthy relationship, we got from this site. Good luck to you and fell free to PM or the Mr anytime with any questions. Good luck!
Sorry for not typing out long responses to individual points but im on an iphone and its a pain .
MrsLooking4more
Retired Super Moderator, Member of the Month Feb
Just so that is clear my husband had PreE and ED. Both gone when he stopped the BP meds. Just check into it to be sure they are Vasodilators.
Looking4more
Retired Moderator, Member of the Month Feb 2013,
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I too am sorry to hear of your situation. I can definitely understand your frustration. When I had ED, there were some seriously bad and frustrating times. Thank goodness I have such a wonderful, loving, and devoted wife. Even after the ED was corrected, the Pre-E was still causing such frustration. Two things that really helped was starting PE and refocusing my mind. I would always be so focused and scared of shooting too fast and that just seemed to perpetuate the problem. I learned to focus more on just relaxing and pleasing my wife and just forget about my penis. That really seemed to help a lot. Alot of my Pre-E was also caused by too much sensitivity. During that time we were both really busy and didn't have much time for sex so when we did, I was just too sensitive and blew too fast. I found that after starting PE, my penis was getting used to being handled alot and the sensitivity was under control. Now I can last hours if I wanted to. Well my penis can, the rest of me can't keep up anymore, LOL!
Like my wife said, you must both work together on this. If you can get her to understand what needs to be done and how much you love her and want this to work, she may be more receptive. Don't give up hope brother, it can be overcome. If you ever have any questions, please feel free to PM anytime.
Like my wife said, you must both work together on this. If you can get her to understand what needs to be done and how much you love her and want this to work, she may be more receptive. Don't give up hope brother, it can be overcome. If you ever have any questions, please feel free to PM anytime.
Looking4more
Retired Moderator, Member of the Month Feb 2013,
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In my case meds didn't cause the Pre-E, only the ED. The stuff I was on brought my testosterone down to incredibly low levels. That combined with exhaustion just left me with nothing when it was needed.
The Pre-E was caused by a combination of physical and mental conditions.
The Pre-E was caused by a combination of physical and mental conditions.
Theres no way stroking your penis with you hand is in anyway going replicate a vagina, it will only get you so far, I can stroke and thrust with my hand for hours and never ejaculate, I can do the same thrusting into a fleshlight, but the minute anything sex related pops into my mind, or if I play sex moaning sounds I can feel the sperm moving ready for ejaculation and its all over within seconds, I was watching a show while thrusting into the fleshlight and had been doing so for 20 minutes without the urge to ejaculate, on the show a girl was only talking about her favorite sex position and that made me ejaculate, you see because when I used to masturbate I used to fantasize and think everything about sex such as vaginas, what a girl says during sex, moaning sounds, positions a girls body and this would make me ejaculate quickly which is what I was trying to do and not knowing the consequences of this later in life, so I am reprogramming my brain to not do this, it takes time but I am making great progress.
I haven't read your other posts/threads, do you own a fleshlight? This is the only thing that is going to replicate the real thing, if your still using your hand your not going to progress any further, you only use your hands when you first start off, then when you have mastered this and can last as long as you want you move onto the fleshlight and yes you will probably ejaculate very quickly, but then you work on this the same as you did with your hands and you will soon master the fleshlight and last as long as you want. I remember when I first got my fleshlight and just the mere thought of it got me an erection because it was new and exciting and I ejaculated very quickly, it took me a couple of months and I mastered it as it became normal and not such a big deal, this is the same steps with sex, you will begin to master it, but you need a fleshlight I cannot stress this enough and if you don't want to use one then I am not going to waste any time with you because you will never progress past using your hands, sorry if it sounds harsh but I am not going to waste time with anyone that doesn't want to put the effort in.
And forgot to add it would seem your a lot like me and this is a mental problem and not physical, the fact you used a numbing cream and still ejaculated quickly tells me your mindset takes complete control and it becomes involuntary much like your heart which you have no control over, thankfully though you can retrain your brain as I have said a million times the brain is just an utterly amazing piece of machinery and nothing the human race can do will ever even come close to replicating its awesome power.
A few times when wearing a condom and being slightly drunk I had sex, I couldn't even feel anything through the condom and the fact I was a slightly drunk, but I still blew quickly because of the way I programmed my mind to ejaculate quickly, my mind wandered off and started thinking about the girl I was with and how amazing she was looking and her tits bouncing up and down blah blah blah sure enough I ejaculated within the minute and it was over. Another girl I was having sex with used to really start moaning from the get go and it would make me ejaculate really quick, the next few times I did tell her to not moan as much and sure enough I lasted longer but I still ejaculated fairly quickly because of the other mental thoughts that were going through my mind.
A few times when wearing a condom and being slightly drunk I had sex, I couldn't even feel anything through the condom and the fact I was a slightly drunk, but I still blew quickly because of the way I programmed my mind to ejaculate quickly, my mind wandered off and started thinking about the girl I was with and how amazing she was looking and her tits bouncing up and down blah blah blah sure enough I ejaculated within the minute and it was over. Another girl I was having sex with used to really start moaning from the get go and it would make me ejaculate really quick, the next few times I did tell her to not moan as much and sure enough I lasted longer but I still ejaculated fairly quickly because of the other mental thoughts that were going through my mind.
One thing I noticed from this thread is that your wife does not want to have sex often, and that makes your problems with premature ejaculation bigger. I recognise this and what has helped in my relationship is that she stopped taking birth control pills. For some reason they played a big part in reducing her lust for sex.
Don't know if it's any help, but hey!
Don't know if it's any help, but hey!
Just buy a fleshlight and practise ffs
in the meantime buy some delay spray, Cialis and communicate with your god damn wife. Use advice people are giving you.
I'm done
My wife has an IUD in place. And yep, the lack of sex definitely makes things much more difficult.
Dude, please try the deep squat based exercises and stretches. They have been helping me quite a bit. I mean, more than any other thing I have tried. Reverse Kegels and Edging never felt so effective. Give it a try and you will see progress within days. I dont mean cure, but real progress, the one you can count.
1) Deep squat for one minute (ass on the grass, legs spread 25 inches)
2) Deep squat 10x, up and down (legs spread 25 inches)
3) Deep squat 2 times, stay down for 10 seconds each of the two times (legs spread 40 inches - be careful with that one).
If you got any doubts, please send me a PM.
1) Deep squat for one minute (ass on the grass, legs spread 25 inches)
2) Deep squat 10x, up and down (legs spread 25 inches)
3) Deep squat 2 times, stay down for 10 seconds each of the two times (legs spread 40 inches - be careful with that one).
If you got any doubts, please send me a PM.
