Young, insecure male.....

[TTBB]

and i am saying he should continue.
Therapist can and do help many people..
Yes the individual seeking the help has to want to fix themselves or change, for change to happen. First step is recognizing there is an issue and you might not have all the answers or be seeing the situation or yourself clearly.

 

[Rockitman]

First off, your stats are not bad at all, I'd say slightly larger than average.

If you want one-night stands, mindblowing sex is hit or miss: just the law of averages. If you do have a girlfriend, then practice makes perfect. Simultaneous Orgasms, multiple ones, etc. etc., you can have it WITH the equipment you now have, the more you do it, the better it gets if you both keep a healthy attitude, an open mind, and a genuine desire to please each other. Read the forums, do a little net-sleuthing, TALK to your gal, and you are on the right path.

I've talked to a lot of women, and more often than not, the biggest guy they had wasn't always the best guy they had. There are always going to be guys out there that are naturally blessed: bigger and better looking, so gain the competitive edge with the right mind-set and know-how, not just in the bedroom, but in how you treat her: foreplay begins LONG before you enter the bedroom (took me ages to break that code!) The more she is into you emotionally, the better she's gonna feel when you are in her physically.

And of course, if you are hung-up about not being hung, start a PE program TODAY! If anything, the confidence you gain from the inches you gain should translate into better performance in bed.

 

[Steve23]

First off, your stats are not bad at all, I'd say slightly larger than average.

If you want one-night stands, mindblowing sex is hit or miss: just the law of averages. If you do have a girlfriend, then practice makes perfect. Simultaneous Orgasms, multiple ones, etc. etc., you can have it WITH the equipment you now have, the more you do it, the better it gets if you both keep a healthy attitude, an open mind, and a genuine desire to please each other. Read the forums, do a little net-sleuthing, TALK to your gal, and you are on the right path.

I've talked to a lot of women, and more often than not, the biggest guy they had wasn't always the best guy they had. There are always going to be guys out there that are naturally blessed: bigger and better looking, so gain the competitive edge with the right mind-set and know-how, not just in the bedroom, but in how you treat her: foreplay begins LONG before you enter the bedroom (took me ages to break that code!) The more she is into you emotionally, the better she's gonna feel when you are in her physically.

And of course, if you are hung-up about not being hung, start a PE program TODAY! If anything, the confidence you gain from the inches you gain should translate into better performance in bed.

I don't think size or his girlfriends ex's size is the issue.

 

[MrBigDick]

You wanted opinions and got great advice so far, yet you seem to be on the same path and mindset as your first post, sees we can't help you, your therapist can't help you, the only one that can help you is yourself. You had a great relationship untill she told you about her past that she wasn't proud of. She regretted it so who are you to judge her about her past that had nothing to do with you? Grow up. People have many partners in the past and ones they regeretted and wish they were never with. People make mistakes, no ones perfect. Did she complain to you about anything that had to do with guy that treated her like crap? No. Did she compare you to him? No. Then what's your problem.

Man Steve23, how is it you manage to find just the right way to say what I can't get out? lol This is EXACTLY what I wanted to say but for whatever reason, couldn't quite get there and normally, I have no problem being spot on. Great post man.

 

[joeaverage]

The thing is guys, I have been heavily addicted to porn for many years, and I think it has traumatized me.

I know it is almost impossible for you to do, but pretend you are me:

An insecure guy who, for whatever reason, thought no women would ever like him, turns to porn for his sexual outlet, no knowing at the time that the porn addiction that followed would make him squander every chance to have sex that came his way - of which there were several. At the age of 22, he manages to get laid....then he meets a wonderful girl that he thinks the world of. This girl could be the one. Every single element of this person is right for you....and then, WHAM, it all gets taken away.

The reason the pictures make me so angry is that now the one woman I felt I could be with is included in the vast pantheon of exlpoited women. I believe that, if viewed at a young age, porn teaches men to be misogynists. If not that, it certainly teaches them that there are two types of women....normal ones, and one that are in porn. The women in porn are "worthless" by the standards of some men who abuse pornography. In my case, my brain is short circuiting. It is like asking a computer to divide by zero. On one hand there is the woman I loved, and then there is the woman in the pornographic image, and I just can't compute it. Thanks to technology, a woman is humiliated, and a man is crushed. Man I wish I grew up in the 50's. Not that they were perfect times, but at least this kind of stuff was not an issue.

I am trying to work on myself, but there is a difference between knowing there is a problem, and knowing how to fix it. I do know that If I had a girlfriend with no pictures out there, I would feel way way way better about her, so at least I know what to look for if I ever decided to let my heart go out there again.

 

[Steve23]

See your therapist more often.

 

[TTBB]

The thing is guys, I have been heavily addicted to porn for many years, and I think it has traumatized me.

I know it is almost impossible for you to do, but pretend you are me:

An insecure guy who, for whatever reason, thought no women would ever like him, turns to porn for his sexual outlet, no knowing at the time that the porn addiction that followed would make him squander every chance to have sex that came his way - of which there were several. At the age of 22, he manages to get laid....then he meets a wonderful girl that he thinks the world of. This girl could be the one. Every single element of this person is right for you....and then, WHAM, it all gets taken away.

The reason the pictures make me so angry is that now the one woman I felt I could be with is included in the vast pantheon of exlpoited women. I believe that, if viewed at a young age, porn teaches men to be misogynists. If not that, it certainly teaches them that there are two types of women....normal ones, and one that are in porn. The women in porn are "worthless" by the standards of some men who abuse pornography. In my case, my brain is short circuiting. It is like asking a computer to divide by zero. On one hand there is the woman I loved, and then there is the woman in the pornographic image, and I just can't compute it. Thanks to technology, a woman is humiliated, and a man is crushed. Man I wish I grew up in the 50's. Not that they were perfect times, but at least this kind of stuff was not an issue.

I am trying to work on myself, but there is a difference between knowing there is a problem, and knowing how to fix it. I do know that If I had a girlfriend with no pictures out there, I would feel way way way better about her, so at least I know what to look for if I ever decided to let my heart go out there again.

Porn fucked up my head too, watched way way too much of it...Inow am careful about how much i watch because i can tell that it will twist my perception and feelings about the world, intimacy and people if i over indulge.

The reality is just because a person has sexual pictures taken during a relationship doesn't mean they people are dirty skanks.. it means they were expressing and exploring their sexual relationship with an individual person, with in the privacy of their relationship..I have pornographic stuff of me that other people have a copy of and trust me when i say i am not skank or slut,it was an extension of our relationship and a bit of sexual expression and play... Sexuality or sex and the body is not evil esp when shared in a relationship..which is essentially what she was doing.
It sounds to me like you are jealous, that someone else got that.. that you only want her to feel her sexual self towards you.. unless she has been living in a cave then you will never be the only sexual thought or kink that a girl has had or felt.

I do get it, one of my biggest turn offs is guys who are pursuing me boasting to me about previous fucks or girls that sucked their cocks, talking about their ex sex.. because i don't want to know.. and it just makes me lose respect for them(and it makes me worry that they will be talking about me)

 

[Rockitman]

Porn does for sex what Sci-Fi does for Space Travel-makes the unbelievable seem real. If both were real, we'd all have 10 inch cocks and could cum all over alien women at warp speeds...

I actually knew a refugee from the porn industry, and although there is a degree of. . ahem..'talent' a guy needs to bring to the table, there are tricks of the trade that make some seem like more: manscaping the groin, strategic camera angles, pre-shoot pumping and stretching, using petite women, editing a sex-session from the same camera shots at different angles, flicking ones cock while cumming to make a cum-shot look longer and so on and so forth.

Even porn has become cliche, I remember late 70's and early 80's, when not all the gals had implants, and not all the guys were monsters: they looked like folks we could relate to. I guess that big dicks and silicone tits sell more movies nowadays.

Porn is like anything else, good in moderation, best when enjoyed with a sense of perspective and remember that. . . . . IT'S JUST A MOVIE!!!! there's love, there's even sex, and then there's porn.

Note to joeaverage: The 50's had their drawbacks too: If you wanted porn, you had to have a 8mm projector, there were still big dicks back then too, in fact, it seemed that Marilyn Monroe liked them big-she commented that her ex Joe Dimaggio swung with a big bat on and off the ballfield, and was said to have had a fling with Comedian Milton Berle, who had a rep for one of the biggest schlongs in Hollywood at the time. To me, the one upside was those pointy bras that the ladies wore (!)

 

[joeaverage]

I just don't think women should allow themselves to be immortalized as sex objects by abusive men. I don't see how that is a positive expression of a relationship, or exploring one's sexuality. I mean, sex has been around for millions of years....cameras less than 200. I don't think it is natural to film the act at all. Isn't it illegal to do it without permission anyway? Why wouldn't one of the women he did this to press charges? It's not like they all knew he was filming them. I am sure most did not at all.

Now, the only thing I can think of is finding a way to bolster my self-esteem - or hide my lack of it, moreover - in order to go out and lay some pipe and take my own pictures. I can't rule out my own potential to do that. Without bragging, what I lack in the cock department, I certainly am not lacking for in the looks department. I bet I can pull a lot of women if I change my attitude on the outside enough. I just need to be more proactive.

Oh, does anyone know how best to break up with a girl? It is not so easy right now, because she is foreign. Should I do it now, and not go to the farm? Should I go to the farm, spend a couple last days with her, then break it to her, or should I tough it out through christmas and tell her the day before her flight that I will not be going with her? This is important....I hear she likes me a lot, so, although I know she will get over it fairly quickly, I don't think her initial reaction will be a pleasant one. The other problem is she has no other place to live than with me, or my family. This IS important to figure out, cause I want to lessen the impact any way I can.

 

[TheLonelyVirgin]

Okay, to preface things....I am drunk, and very angry right now. I am not telling you to take this with a grain of salt, as there is a lot of honesty here, but it will probably read a lot harsher to me in the morning then it does at the moment, when the cobwebs begin to clear.

I'm trying to figure out what to do. I can't help but feel resentment towards her, because if she had just not said anything, I would still have those blissful loving feelings towards her. Didn't she know any better? Whatever the reason, she has changed the way I look at her forever. For instance, I was trying to look at some pictures of her today, but then was immediately reminded of how there are very different pictures of her....and it pissed me off so much that I couldn't look at her pictures anymore.

The thing that makes this so awful is that I REALLY likes this girl. Big time. Like, I was borderline, "drop everything and run away with her". Too bad. I'm supposed to get on a bus to see her at the farm....she's telling me how she's so excited and how she's going to make hot-cocoa and we will have snowball fights and try out the new bedroom and bed, (She finished a bedroom in the old house for us) but I just know that when I see her walking towards me in the snow, instead of being a romantic moment, it's just going to be her with those feelings, and I can never have them again for her like I did.

I am not naive. I just watched, "The english patient", and THAT type of love is clearly illusory. If she hadn't of told me those things, we probably would have had personality conflicts and my feelings for her would dwindle, along with her feelings for me. It's natural for the flame to die. However, I wish it didn't die in that fashion, and so quickly.

I keep hoping that, upon being re-united after or three weeks off, that seeing her in person and being with her once more will change my mind, because I really want to be able to love her, but I doubt that that can happen. I guess I am not manly enough. My problem is that I am a romantic at heart, and I think that these days it is a terrible thing.

Even if women become romantic, they base it almost universally on the concept that sex is sex and love is love. There is somehow a difference, apparently. Women perpetuate this idea that no matter how much cock they've had, they are all somehow deserving of being loved. Well, only by chumpy beta male types I guess, cause I am not one of those weak-willed men. I won't have some guys sloppy-seconds. He can have MINE.

We men are supposed to be OKAY with the fact that virtually EVERY woman we will meet, date and be with has been pummeled in college by voluminous reams of man whores. We are supposed to be understanding and just accept the fact that women get to be all slutty and make "mistakes" when they are young, in the name of "finding themselves" or other such nonsense, and we are supposed to love them in spite of it. There is nothing wrong with women being slutty. They can do whatever they want. But they shouldn't think that there's always gonna be nice, good-looking guys for you to be with once the fun is over. No, sometimes that isn't an entitlement. No, us nice guys often have standards, and if we have even one-iota of game, we may not want a girl that made "mistakes". I know I don't.

I am not asking for a virgin. I am just asking for a woman that thinks of sex as somewhat special, not just "fun". I don't view it as that. Maybe that's my problem. I don't even care if they were in love or anything with their past partners - hell, if I had a vagina, I'd want some cock every once in a while too - but I just don't like the exploitation that they seem all-too willing to expose themselves to. More than that too, I hate the men that get to have all the fun and leave guys like me with their "left-overs". Those types of men may not be the best lovers, but they still got to fuck your woman and forget about her the next day. When I told her about how jealous I am of that guy that she slept with, she said, "but that type of man will never know love", news flash idiot.....he doesn't care. He doesn't need to know love when idiotic women like you will throw themselves at him all the time. Stupid bitch. There has to be a woman out there for me who hasn't let a douche-bag abuse her. If there is, I am going to find one and never let her go.

Needles to say, I am going to break up with her and find a woman who places more value on herself, her dignity and her body. This one may love me, but she made a huge mistake in divulging her "secret" to me. In thinking that we had some sort of special bond, she felt it necessary to tell me the ONE thing that would ruin our relationship. I wonder if she'll get a complex when I tell her WHY I am dumping her.

I have a slight logistical and ethical problem though....it is near christmas, and she has wanted to have a snowy north american christmas for years. She has no friends or family to stay with. Should I fake my way through the holidays with her, and endure having to look at her and be around her for the sake of her emotional health? Her flight home is on the 29th. I am supposed to go, but I can cancel my flight within 24 hours. Should I bring her to the airport and do it there? Gad, I have never broken up with a girl before. I don't know how to do it. How would you guys let her know?

Joe, you just described my situation (some what) right there.

I can't really imagine being with a girl who has had multiple partners before, especially ones that didn't treat them right. I just feel like I'm the loser who gets to pick up scraps and what not. Once I find out about a girls past, my whole view of her changes pretty dramatically. I start to judge her and I don't like it, but I feel like I start to label them as used goods. I've really tried to get over it, but every time I was with my last girl (that foolishly told me all about her ex's) I just see her getting plowed by other guys. We click wonderfully and she's extremely affectionate, but her history just bothers me to no end. I feel like I will forever stay a virgin, I've turned down sex so many times, mostly with the excuse that I was saving myself for marriage, but honestly, I just don't feel special with 'used' girls.

Lately I've been having horrid thoughts about just fucking around, that I might feel better if I did worst things than they did I would be fine with peoples pasts. I haven't acted on the thoughts yet, but I know that if I wanted to I could, and just that thought scares me. I really don't want to lower myself down to that level, but I feel as if it's the only way I can cope with peoples histories.

All in all, I am an insecure male with big cock syndrome who has a really romanticized approach to 'love' and 'sex'. I always seem to push girls away after I get to know too much about them. I always find excuses to break things off with them, I over analyze, I judge, I do whatever I can to justify me dropping them.

Sorry, probably didn't help too much here, but I really needed to get that out.

~TLV

 

[joeaverage]

Dude, no man. That helps a lot. It's nice to know that I am not alone in feeling this way.

People seem to think that I want to feel this way....and they are wrong if that is the case. My first two months with this girl were the best of my life. I would not trade my current state for the former one. Not one hundred thousand dollars. Her stupid need to try and keep up with me by tit-for-tatting me on stories is what ruined it. I think she thought I was way more experienced than her and that I would think she was lame if she didn't tell me her stories. What she didn't know is that most of the stories were just things I had done with the three women before her....not the eleven that I lied about. Man, my lying about my numbers and telling her stories here and there to make her feel insecure really backfired.

Dude, I have two friends like you. They are saving themselves for the "perfect woman". What they fail to realize is that EVERY woman has a sexual history these days. I try to tell them to stop being so virtuous. Go out and be an asshole. Go out and use women as sex objects bro. I am re-dedicating my free time to it. I don't care anymore. The way I look at it, is if I put half the energy I spend worrying about my job and my cock, I would get laid on a regular basis, with new women all the time.


Men are way better at following rules, in general, so if they take a vow of chastity, they are better at keeping it. Of course, women have guys after them all the time, so one could argue that if the roles were reversed, men would give in to their urges on a much more regular basis than women.

If you want to settle down, the only way you can be okay with your chick's past is if you did the same types of things to women as the previous partners did to her. Go out and manipulate women into the sack. Do whatever it takes. No one cares one way or the other.

The thing men fail to realize is that sex means much much less to a woman than it does to them, as they can have more of a disconnect between sex and "love". I think that given the right price, 99 percent of women would sell themselves. Does that mean they are bad? No. It just means that humans as a whole are completely effed. You are either a sheep, or a wolf. Not much in between. I would rather be the guy that used some guys future girlfriend, then the chumpy guy who has to deal with her past. When I break up with this girl in a few days, I will let you know how it feels to get my power back, Thelonelyvirgin. Guess what? I am gonna take my own pictures, use her up good for a few days, then dump her sorry ass a couple weeks before christmas. Maybe next time she'll think twice about "communication". I can't wait to see the tears well-up. I might even record that....that's a whole new type of porn. That could be entertaining. I can charm her really well too, and can always make her laugh and smile. Imagine if I switch up and surprise her. I can capture the moment her mood shifts for happiness to despair. Then maybe she would know how she made me feel. Why did she do this to me?

 

[spanky]

I don't think you have to be an asshole to accept that nigh on every woman you meet has a past. You can still be true to yourself and demand the best from her with you. God I've done all sorts of things in my past, sexually or otherwise, whether I'm proud of those things is immaterial. Fact is the only thing you can change is the here and now. You can't change the past. We all have to learn somewhere, usually by our mistakes, and frankly I'd rather be, and know, the sort of person who was open minded enough to try things out and find out how they felt about it the hard way. You're not defined by one thing you did once are you? Else I'd be a book of contradictions! You're defined by how you behave today, and that's a combination of everything you've done, good or bad, luck or misadventure.

I think your expectations are too high and unrealistic for the real world. Shame maybe, but that's how it is. I couldn't expect that sort of purity from anyone. If I'm honest I'd personally be turned off by that sort of purity and lack of an exciting story, but hey that's just me. I do think you have very idealised and romantic expectations though, having read this thread through and that's wonderful. Many of us would love to live that life in theory, so be the man who can provide it, not the man who denands it on a silver platter. Judge not lest ye be judged and all that. Why should your life be over for one minor indiscretion?

(sorry for my earlier posts by the way.. I was quick to judge and not very supportive.. I've been in a shitty place lately, but that's no excuse)

 

[Mr Po Po]

Why on earth would you purposely dump her harshly just because her first wasn't you?

She clearly cares about you, if she is not cheating on you and the sex is good, then I don't see why you need to dump her so.

 

[joeaverage]

Why on earth would you purposely dump her harshly just because her first wasn't you?

She clearly cares about you, if she is not cheating on you and the sex is good, then I don't see why you need to dump her so.

Dude, I don't care that she's not a virgin. Why the hell should I care that she has had sex before?? I don't care about that....the other boyfriends don't bother me....it's just the fact that she would let a douche bag sleep with her and take photos that bothers me. If I was a chick, I wouldn't expect to stay with the first man I sleep with. I wouldn't only have sex if I was in love. I get all that, but don't give it out to a guy that doesn't respect you. Seriously.

I could use her for sex....but it's at this point in the relationship where I can't just skirt by with superficial charm. No, she wants me to learn french, and go to France with her now, and all this sh*t. I can't fake that. I can't learn a new language when the sight of her, and the sound of her voice make me feel like I am going to vomit. No way man. I am removing the cancer from my life.

 

[spanky]

Dude, I don't care that she's not a virgin. Why the hell should I care that she has had sex before?? I don't care about that....the other boyfriends don't bother me....it's just the fact that she would let a douche bag sleep with her and take photos that bothers me. If I was a chick, I wouldn't expect to stay with the first man I sleep with. I wouldn't only have sex if I was in love. I get all that, but don't give it out to a guy that doesn't respect you. Seriously.

I could use her for sex....but it's at this point in the relationship where I can't just skirt by with superficial charm. No, she wants me to learn french, and go to France with her now, and all this sh*t. I can't fake that. I can't learn a new language when the sight of her, and the sound of her voice make me feel like I am going to vomit. No way man. I am removing the cancer from my life.

Cancer? cor, that's harsh. A guy took a photo. Either she was taken advantage of, which isn't her fault and you need to chill the hell out, or maybe she liked it? Maybe he wasn't as much of a worm as all that and she's telling you this to try to soften the blow, boost your ego convince that you're a far better man, and convince you he was a regret in her past. Maybe she doesn't regret it really, but she wants you to feel better about it because she cares. Just saying man.

For what it's worth, this sort of thing is more common than ever anyway now every mobile has halfway decent camera on it. I've sent pictures of me to women (with no complaints), and tell you what, I regret not taking a bit of video of me banging away with a couple of chicks in my past. God that would turn me on. Not to show people in the pub, not to put on the internet, not to laugh at her, not to demean her.. hell I'd be in the film or photo too. fucking. with her.. who's the loser? Everyone has a camera in their head too, it's just not as clear.

I hate to say this joe, if it's just the photo that's getting to you, that one thing, which I have to be honest, as long as she wasn't raped, she probably enjoyed to an extent, then I suspect you're going to be looking a very very long time for princess diamond, because if I knew everything about everyone I met... Hoooooleeee, there'd be some revelations I betcha. Maybe you'd rather live in ignorance of other people's pasts? I can understand that. But a fantasy of silence won't help you. Really, you need to come to terms with this stuff.

What's important is the here and now. That's it. And yep, if she makes you feel that awful, then do her a favour and leave her. But like the other guys have already said, make sure you're not doing it because it's actually you with the problem, and you're refusing to realise that.

 

[joeaverage]

Well, she has been telling me stories of this particular man since I met her. He obviously hurt her a lot. Every negative story I have ever heard her tell about men is about this guy. At one time I thought the stories were from other boyfriends, but they are not. He hit her, bruised her, etc. She complained about it. I assume she liked the sex, at least at first, cause why else would she do it? I really don't think that she would enjoy having her picture taken....she blushed in clothed photos for fuck's sake....even while drunk. She dumped him after only two weeks....once she found out about the other women....when his friend (who, a year later, became her boyfriend for six months) showed her the photos of the other women he was banging. She said she was very angry.

 

[ColtAR-15]

Cancer? cor, that's harsh. A guy took a photo. Either she was taken advantage of, which isn't her fault and you need to chill the hell out, or maybe she liked it? Maybe he wasn't as much of a worm as all that and she's telling you this to try to soften the blow, boost your ego convince that you're a far better man, and convince you he was a regret in her past. Maybe she doesn't regret it really, but she wants you to feel better about it because she cares. Just saying man.

For what it's worth, this sort of thing is more common than ever anyway now every mobile has halfway decent camera on it. I've sent pictures of me to women (with no complaints), and tell you what, I regret not taking a bit of video of me banging away with a couple of chicks in my past. God that would turn me on. Not to show people in the pub, not to put on the internet, not to laugh at her, not to demean her.. hell I'd be in the film or photo too. fucking. with her.. who's the loser? Everyone has a camera in their head too, it's just not as clear.

I hate to say this joe, if it's just the photo that's getting to you, that one thing, which I have to be honest, as long as she wasn't raped, she probably enjoyed to an extent, then I suspect you're going to be looking a very very long time for princess diamond, because if I knew everything about everyone I met... Hoooooleeee, there'd be some revelations I betcha. Maybe you'd rather live in ignorance of other people's pasts? I can understand that. But a fantasy of silence won't help you. Really, you need to come to terms with this stuff.

What's important is the here and now. That's it. And yep, if she makes you feel that awful, then do her a favour and leave her. But like the other guys have already said, make sure you're not doing it because it's actually you with the problem, and you're refusing to realise that.

Hell even I agree here and I rarely agree with the mods. Good stuff Spanky.

 

[spanky]

Look man, people are idealistic to an extent.. we all want everything to be just perfect for us. But it isn't, and part of growing up is developing the confidence to make choices that suit us sooner rather than later, be that choice to can it and move or, or to tolerate things we don't like. And this is her learning experience. Her journey. Don't grieve on her behalf for her mistakes. Every situation in your life is likely to be a combination of things you like, and things you don't, right? Perfect ain't gonna happen. So you have to weigh it all up. Does the good outweight the bad? Then brilliant. keep it. Take solace in your maturity and strength to tolerate. Does the bad outweigh the good? Well walk away. Simple as that.

 

[joeaverage]

Here and now doesn't matter so much really with women....not unless you like being a consolation-prize. I would rather be alone forever than have a used-up, exploited woman, however nice she may be. The past DOES matter. It informs everything we do. Women just like to say "the past doesn't matter" because they don't want the men that love them to think about how slutty they were.

I did this to myself though, and I admit that freely. She is just naive, and can't read me very well. If she knew what I was like on the inside, she would have fucked off on day one, but I am such a good actor about this stuff, she only thinks that I am a bit insecure. To my credit, I never knew I would ever feel this way about women. She thinks that she sees something in my underneath.....something that I don't see in myself. There aint nothing there. It's just emptiness covered over by hollow smiles. Didn't used to be like that. I used to have a soul. Lost it somewhere along the way. I guess I am a manic-depressive. I don't feel any joy at all, and can barely will myself to go to work. I even avoid alcohol and pop vitamins, but nothing seems to make me feel better about myself or people in general. Truth be told, right now, if I got hit by a bus I wouldn't complain. I'm sure not many here would either by now. I understand. I really do.

 

[joeaverage]

I guess too, that because I don't want the man to win, if I dump her in a horrible fashion, than I am more strong and alpha than he is. I win. He didn't even dump her....and he could have any woman he wants, but I can dump her, because I am strong than he is. I win. Case in point....who causes more emotional damage, the man SHE dumps because of the things he did, or the man who dumps HER because of what she did/was done to her? Women keep saying that love is so much better than sex, well, if she loves me, although she will move on and find love again...I garanfuckingtee you she will think about me more than him. It was more of a sex thing with him....but with me it was sex and love. Who's manlier now? That motherfucker. I bet I could kick his ass. That's one thing I am not lacking in....strength and agility + 5 years of martial arts and several fights. So glad I at least of THAT going for me. I'm never going to be a beta male again. I'm never going to be an AFC either. Cock-size be damned.