What makes YOU good in bed?

[spanky]

Title of this thread should be : What makes WOMEN good in bed ... sorry

Us guys bang on all the time about how to be good in bed. There's plenty of advice online, so there's reallty not much excuse.

Well, I say that but it's mostly advice for MEN how to be good, and there's no single answer. Some advice is about how to be a great lover, some is about how to be a great fuck.. techinques here and there, and everything in between, so there's a load of personality and choice to throw in there. I could expand on what I do, but that isn't the point of this thread.

I know good sex is typically about listening and adapting to each other. But compatibility is finding someone who both loves what you do, and does all the things you love too. And I think sexual compatibility is critical to a working relationship.

So I know what I do in bed that I think makes me good, at least as far as being the lover I WANT to be goes. By the same token I know what I should work on and improve so as to be more of the lover/fuck I want to be.

And I know what I like, and what I want from a woman in bed. So what about YOU? Ladies, what do YOU think makes a woman good in bed? What do YOU think YOU DO do that makes YOU good in bed? What do YOU want to improve on?

 

[MikeShlort]

Crack and Viagra

 

[BigO]

Another brilliant post from the lady slayer!

 

[ColtAR-15]

Crack and Viagra

Lol.

 

[spanky]

ok, for the fellas then, what makes a WOMAN good in bed? Point being we all know what we're "supposed" to do, and depending on the depth of your experience, what we like... I was just interested in the opinions, and especially women's ides, since frankly, most women I've slept with have been so-so based on what works for me, and I have preferences beyond just "she has to have a vajayjay", which I realise makes me a bit weird as far as most men go.

I will accept Crack and Viagra as one answer. Not for everyone maybe...

 

[SeaCock]

I like a women to not be shy! Not be defensive to my touch. Its a big turn off when they are grabbing your wrist every time you try to caresses them.

What makes me good in bed?

I used to think me DE was good, but not so with my current GF. I am very observant and if I find areas they like I make mental notes as I go. Even though I have big strong hands (not my words, but one of the first things women mention about me) I can be very soft with my touch. I have very soft touch with my tongue so women like kissing me and my oral abilities. I do a lot of teasing when kissing (breasts included) and doing oral.

 

[BigO]

I just think as long as the lady desnt think that all she has to do is be there that is a good start. I love it when they actually get on top or try new things then they are a step above most.

 

[Praetorian]

I learnt the importance of foreplay. Women tend to have a slow burning fuse...guys burn fast. So, developing discipline in prolonging foreplay is very important. I bring hands, tongue and the brushing of the body into play. I am married so have obviously found what my wife likes (unless she has secrets after 10 years).

I like a variety of positions and so does my wife...however, she will never initiate anything. It's only on rare occasions (after a few drinks) that she will jump on top right off the bat. She predominantly cums in the missionary position from the combination of friction against the clitoris with my pelvic bone and me 'bottoming out' with vaginal stimulation. However, she has had orgasms on top and in the doggy position too...these just require more control and persistence to achieve.

For me....I like confidence in a woman and I like some dirty stuff which my wife will only very rarely get into lol. I don't coerce her.

She comes from a fairly sexually conservative society and only had two partners from her own country before me. She has told me that she feels a lot more liberated in being able to enjoy the sex that she wants and likes now and also is free to talk to me about it which is the best thing.

 

[spanky]

Confidence in her for me too, definitely.

I'm just so bored of women who don't contribute, who just lay there and let me get on with it. Are women just so wedded to the idea of being the prize that they don't feel the need to impress the guy themselves?

Seems like I've grown up with so much pressure to be "good in bed" because she'll probably have had bigger or better so if I don't make the effort, that'll be that. That's fair enough and all, but I've done it enough, and I've done some *freaky* things, so I'm not worried about my performance.

But do women actually worry about being "good in bed" in the way that guys do?

From this day forward in my dating life, pressure's on her to impress me too or that's it. I'd love to see the look on some of their pretty faces when I say "Yeah, I thought you were nice and all, but you were kind of boring in the sack"

I wonder if this is a suitable first date conversation?

 

[camaro]

I like women to complement me.Whatever it is i am doing, they should reciprocate likewise.

 

[spanky]

I like women to complement me.Whatever it is i am doing, they should reciprocate likewise.

Totally. If I'm in bed with some woman and I want to do something specific to her then I'll do it. Obviously if she says no then I stop. But nobody has yet ... Now if only women were so bold more often. Damn that's rare.

 

[thenewdude]

It all depends. Caressing, kissing (various parts), clitoral stimulation (not too fast but take your time), heightening the senses, screwing in different tempos, etc... Most of all learning what she likes and how she likes it.

 

[jdavid1990]

Love sucking dick and are very good at it and are very good verbally. "I love daddies dick baby"

 

[imac]

Isn't it obvious, the only way sex can be good for anyone is for the guy to have 17" dick with 9" girth.

 

[spanky]

See, I'm told time and time again by women how most guys suck in bed. Yet I've rarely heard or discussed how good most women are in bed. I reckon only a handful of the 60 odd women I've slept with in the last 20 years or so have been.

... and this made me wonder what women generally thought about being good in bed, how many cared or tried.

I mean as guys, we know that if we do a good job, word will get around. Do women feel similar pressure? I guess not, I mean I *have* told friends occasionally when I've been with someone who was *all that* but it's not the norm, and I can't remember another guy ever telling me this girl or that was a great fuck.

I know socially it's different. In our society, if as a woman, you're hot or easy, you'll never go without, regardless of how good you are in bed. but as a man, being considered a good lay could be the thing that puts you on the radar.

Take Samantha out of Sex and the City. She's a slag, right? And that's fine by me... but while I'm not big SatC fan, I've no idea if she's supposed to be any *good* or if she's just easy.

I wondered both what people thought about that, what guys here thought made a woman a good lay, what the women here thought made THEM a good lay, and how much it generally mattered to women.

Sorry lads I'm not really looking for tips !

 

[Jm123]

Involvement would be the biggest thing. To me the most important thing to great sex, is that the guy is thinking about the woman's pleasure, and the woman is thinking about the guys pleasure. Honestly sex feels good, unless you have premature ejaculation or delayed ejaculation or she has lubrication problems (bottle of lube can fix that though) there is no benefit for either person to think about themselves. I mean this is not rocket science, and everyone is able to learn how to be good in bed, yet apparently most don't. I just do not understand it, as even "class" time is fun.

 

[spanky]

... there is no benefit for either person to think about themselves.

I kind of disagree. I've been with a few girls who once they came weren't interesed in letting me finish, and that sucks.. but.. and we're not talking "making love" here, if she's just getting herself off on me for her own benefit, that can be hot as hell. I think taking turns to "get yours" off the other is great.

 

[Jm123]

I kind of disagree. I've been with a few girls who once they came weren't interesed in letting me finish, and that sucks.. but.. and we're not talking "making love" here, if she's just getting herself off on me for her own benefit, that can be hot as hell. I think taking turns to "get yours" off the other is great.

That's not what I meant. The girl not letting you finish, is the girl thinking about herself. Ideally she would be trying to get you off, and you would be trying to get her off. Neither of you would finish until the other were happy. Obviously, there would be times someone may be disappointed, but that person could feel good about doing such a good job.

 

[imac]

I mean as guys, we know that if we do a good job, word will get around. Do women feel similar pressure? I guess not, I mean I *have* told friends occasionally when I've been with someone who was *all that* but it's not the norm, and I can't remember another guy ever telling me this girl or that was a great fuck.

I know socially it's different. In our society, if as a woman, you're hot or easy, you'll never go without, regardless of how good you are in bed. but as a man, being considered a good lay could be the thing that puts you on the radar.

I'm not sure getting a Rep for being a good lay is something many women would want, I mean of course they'd want to be a good lay I just doubt they'd want everyone knowing it.

Personally I don't ever talk to my friends about the women I've slept with and they know not to ask because they know they won't get the juice details they want. I've always thought discretion is the better part of valor and I guess some of the women I've been with must agree because I've had some of them actually recommend me to their friends because they know I have a reputation for being discreet.

But I don't know, that's just my opinion based on my experience with the kind of women I'm attracted to.

 

[spanky]

That's not what I meant. The girl not letting you finish, is the girl thinking about herself. Ideally she would be trying to get you off, and you would be trying to get her off. Neither of you would finish until the other were happy. Obviously, there would be times someone may be disappointed, but that person could feel good about doing such a good job.

Oh don't get me wrong, it's all great, finishing or not. Last time that happened was a one off with a girl I've known for a little while. She wasn't a good lay anyway, just lay there, didn't get stuck in at all, so it was just me doing everything. Fingers, tongues etc.. Then after she'd (apparently) cum I'd been going a while and she wasn't exciting me so I was struggling to hit it myself.. "Get on with it" she says after a couple of minutes.. and my libido just sunk like a stone. I actually thought about faking! but then I just figured that would be too hard to pull off convincingly - spasms, cum etc - so I just stopped. it's close to the top of my bad sex list.

It's different if you're in a relationship obviously, and I'm not, so my perspective might be different - I tend to really go for it with one-nighters. Not because I love her and want to serve her sexually, but because I love seeing her getting off as much, if not more than I like getting off myself. Then once in a blue moon I meet a girl who knows a thing or two and isn't afraid to take what she wants, or to experiment. A girl who'll fight with me to take charge in the sack.. or at least will try - dirty bitch probably just wants me to pin her down haha..

Hell, I dunno, perhaps it's not so much about being "good" or "bad", it's JUST about you both being in the same place and connecting, but gender roles or no gender roles, you don't have to make MUCH of an effort to improve things significantly, and that's something I find rare in women.

Either that or I'm just hideous and I smell, and they all just want it over with as soon as possible . I may not be being entirely serious here.. I'm a great fuck haha