Greetings and Salutations
Greetings and Salutations
Hello all...I know this may be a tad bit annoying to post, but I just wanted to express the feelings of futility, inadequacy and insecurty I've been feeling regarding penis size. I understand many of you may think that I should be discussing this with a therapist, but since it's inextricably linked to penis size, I thought I could succinctly express feelings that, I could safely surmise, many of you have been feeling.
My problems started a few months ago, instigated by a toxic and volatile relationship with a woman. I had always thought that I had a respectably sized penis (NBP 6 x MS 5.2), primarily due to several comments I received from women. It never occurred to me that I was average/small...not until I discovered that my present girlfriend was with a man that was close to 8 inches in length (I don't know about girth), according to women who have known him, and after much prodding, from my girlfriend. The problem was that she was with this man primarily for sex, according to her. They maintained a cool relationship, and she never pestered him. He never had to try hard with her. She was with him for over a year, until she found out he was cheating with another woman (and the man is very unattractive, aesthetically speaking). Whereas with me, she constantly checks my phone, badgers me about marriage, and adamantly refuses that I speak to female friends, among other requests and ultimatums. I began to feel inferior and did not understand why she chose to treat me differently than him, when one day it occurred to me that it was probably because he had a large penis, and was excellent in bed. She has indicated to me that I am "one" of the biggest that she has ever had, although I know it is a lie, considering that she has been with about 20 to 25 men. I began to research the topic of size incessantly, encountering differing statistics, but all of which presented to me the realization that I am very average or smallish. I began to look at pictures of penises from the public, on adult sites such as fling.com and ratearod.com, and came to realize that there are MANY men with much larger penises than myself. I began to doubt my worth as a man, and it was reflected in my current relationship. I can't leave because I feel as though I can now never compete with a woman's past partners, because I will never measure up. IT has consumed my life in that I research penis size at work more often than doing my work, and I am a corporate lawyer. The partners have noticed my declining effort and product. On the train and at work, I try to outline men's bulges, and I notice that most have larger crotches. It has become debilitating and psychotic.
I don't know what to do, because I don't know if I could maintain a consistent routine, especially since I'm with this woman who would undoubtedly catch on with what I'd be doing. I am also afraid that I may suffer erection problems, and that gains are not permanent. I feel miserable because I feel that if I was as large as her last man, then I would not be subjected to lies and manipulation. She has said that I'm her best lover, but she comes very easily without faking it, so she has always had great sex with any man. And now I feel as though there is nothing I can do, and I'm hoping that I can find a few friends or some support from here. I apologize for the lengthy message, but I'm reaching for anything to pull myself out of this quagmire.